It Was Bound To Happen...
...I knew it would, I just didn't know when.
For as long as I can remember, I've been surrounding myself with children, pretty much since the age of 13. During all those days, weeks, months, years, etc... I've become pretty good at self censoring myself & perfected 'toddler code speak'.
Things that one would NOT want to say in front of their child for fear of having it repeated, I was darn good at making sure not a cuss word escaped my mouth, ever.
Sure we all have those times when we slip, it happens... after all, we're only human, right?
I just never thought it would happen to ME!
I mean, this is ME we're talking about, the self proclaimed Nanny 911, but after tonight, make that Nanny 910 & 1/2.
It went a little something like this:
Uncle Steve was over as he is every Tuesday, and I was sharing a 'cute' but funny story of a conversation that took place earlier this morning between myself & Ruby.
You see, Ruby LOVES when 'Uncle Steve Coming...?!'.
So, silly me, said to her this morning, BRIGHT & EARLY I MIGHT ADD,
" Hey Ruby, do you know what today is?"
Her eyes light up but you can actually SEE her thinking this one through for the proper answer... then she smiles & finally replies:
"UNCLE STEVE COMING?!?!"
Proud in her ability to remember such things, I smiled & said;
"Yes baby, Uncle Steve's coming over tonight!"
Upon hearing this, Steve smiled.
I then proceeded to say to him,
"But I said this to her like, FIRST THING THIS MORNING, and then I realized that ALL DAY I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO HEAR HER ASK 'UNCLE STEVE COMING? UNCLE STEVE COMING?' I was like "OH CRAP!" cuz I knew I'd be hearing that question ALL DAY!
Not realizing that yes miss Ruby was not only still awake during this conversation but apparently listening INTENTLY to each & every syllable escape my lips, I hear (in a cookie monster'esque type growl)
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'
OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?@!#$%#$%
"Ruby, don't say that baby, say "Oh Mannnn!', ok?'
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (giggling)
"Oh Mannnnnnnnnnnn!'
"NO OH MAN MOMMA!... 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'" more giggling coupled with falling to the floor to roll around & repeat said word several more times.
OMG MY KID JUST SAID CRAP LIKE AN ANGRY FURRY BLUE COOKIE LOVIN' MONSTER, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?@!?
"Hey Ruby, listen to this, OHHHHHHH MAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!" (giggling in the sad hopes that perhaps she'll see that Momma's word is funny too & maybe she'll wanna try it out...)
*laughing* No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (louder this time & obviously more giggling.)
Picked up the phone, called Karen, "OMG Karen, you're never gonna believe what I just freakin' taught my kid!..."
"What?"
"Listen to this..."
"Hey Ruby, 'Ohhhhhhh Maannnnnnnnnnnnnn!'
No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
"OMG did your kid just say 'crap'?"
*hanging head in shame'
"Yes."
LAUGHING!
Sure, it's funny, of course it's funny, it's funny like a fart in a car but OMG MY KID NOT ONLY KNOWS THE WORD CRAP BUT GETS A KICK OUT OF SAYING IT LIKE TRUE BLUE MUPPET!
Oy Vey, I do believe that's Jewish for
OHHHHH CRAPPPPPPPPP!
*sigh*
For as long as I can remember, I've been surrounding myself with children, pretty much since the age of 13. During all those days, weeks, months, years, etc... I've become pretty good at self censoring myself & perfected 'toddler code speak'.
Things that one would NOT want to say in front of their child for fear of having it repeated, I was darn good at making sure not a cuss word escaped my mouth, ever.
Sure we all have those times when we slip, it happens... after all, we're only human, right?
I just never thought it would happen to ME!
I mean, this is ME we're talking about, the self proclaimed Nanny 911, but after tonight, make that Nanny 910 & 1/2.
It went a little something like this:
Uncle Steve was over as he is every Tuesday, and I was sharing a 'cute' but funny story of a conversation that took place earlier this morning between myself & Ruby.
You see, Ruby LOVES when 'Uncle Steve Coming...?!'.
So, silly me, said to her this morning, BRIGHT & EARLY I MIGHT ADD,
" Hey Ruby, do you know what today is?"
Her eyes light up but you can actually SEE her thinking this one through for the proper answer... then she smiles & finally replies:
"UNCLE STEVE COMING?!?!"
Proud in her ability to remember such things, I smiled & said;
"Yes baby, Uncle Steve's coming over tonight!"
Upon hearing this, Steve smiled.
I then proceeded to say to him,
"But I said this to her like, FIRST THING THIS MORNING, and then I realized that ALL DAY I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO HEAR HER ASK 'UNCLE STEVE COMING? UNCLE STEVE COMING?' I was like "OH CRAP!" cuz I knew I'd be hearing that question ALL DAY!
Not realizing that yes miss Ruby was not only still awake during this conversation but apparently listening INTENTLY to each & every syllable escape my lips, I hear (in a cookie monster'esque type growl)
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'
OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?@!#$%#$%
"Ruby, don't say that baby, say "Oh Mannnn!', ok?'
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (giggling)
"Oh Mannnnnnnnnnnn!'
"NO OH MAN MOMMA!... 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'" more giggling coupled with falling to the floor to roll around & repeat said word several more times.
OMG MY KID JUST SAID CRAP LIKE AN ANGRY FURRY BLUE COOKIE LOVIN' MONSTER, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?@!?
"Hey Ruby, listen to this, OHHHHHHH MAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!" (giggling in the sad hopes that perhaps she'll see that Momma's word is funny too & maybe she'll wanna try it out...)
*laughing* No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (louder this time & obviously more giggling.)
Picked up the phone, called Karen, "OMG Karen, you're never gonna believe what I just freakin' taught my kid!..."
"What?"
"Listen to this..."
"Hey Ruby, 'Ohhhhhhh Maannnnnnnnnnnnnn!'
No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
"OMG did your kid just say 'crap'?"
*hanging head in shame'
"Yes."
LAUGHING!
Sure, it's funny, of course it's funny, it's funny like a fart in a car but OMG MY KID NOT ONLY KNOWS THE WORD CRAP BUT GETS A KICK OUT OF SAYING IT LIKE TRUE BLUE MUPPET!
Oy Vey, I do believe that's Jewish for
OHHHHH CRAPPPPPPPPP!
*sigh*
4 comments:
HA HA HA HA! Hey it could have been worse! Just be thankful that it was just "crap"!
It's funny how they pick up on words that they shouldn't say.
I said Darn it the other day not thinking she could hear me because she was in another room and Taylor comes in the room and starts saying, Darn it...the more I kept saying "no, we don't say that" the more she wanted to say it, I have learned to ignore it and she stopped saying it.
My mom said "shit" once in the car the other day, and Julia repeated her immediately. Hasn't done it sense though. Thankfully!
My Hubby used that same word while cooking breakfast. Scooter immediantly latched on to it. In a vain and poorly thought out attempt to save himself from my wrath he looked down and said "No Baby say pancake". Obviously the first thing he saw. Fast forward two weeks. Spring Break at Grandma and Grandpas house. Like any good Grandpa ours prides himself on breakfast foods. So what happens but he snuggles up Scooter on his laps and asks "Who wants Pancakes?" To which the smallest love of my life replies "No Grandpa say crap!" We still can't say the "P" word.
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