The epitome of STUPIDITY...

... can sadly be found ALIVE & WELL right here in MA!
If you live around here, you KNOW how friggen windy it's been yesterday & today!
WICKED WINDY!
If you're not from around here, please take my word for it... the wind nearly took Ruby's breath away last night upon exiting the grocery store!
So, knowing how windy it is, and also taking into account that it's OCTOBER IN NEW ENGLAND... one can assume that there are these amazing colorful leaves EVERYWHERE YOU LOOK! Sounding all crisp & crunchy under your feet as you walk around outside... pretty, no?
Well, yes- of COURSE it's pretty but here's where the stupidity comes in:

See this guy? This guy thought he would be brilliant & tackle the leaves on his front walkway...

...UM HELLO, IT'S FALL, IN BOSTON, AND WE'RE EXPERIENCING 50MPH WINDS, DO YOU REALLY THINK THAT YOU'RE GOING TO GET ANYTHING ACCOMPLISHED TODAY ASIDE FROM WASTING TIME, ENERGY & GAS? TWO SECONDS AFTER YOU BLOW THOSE LEAVES OFF YOUR WALKWAY, MOTHER NATURE IS GONNA BLOW EM RIGHT BACK TIMES TEN! Damn EEGITS!

Honest to God, if I'd of had a HELMET, I'd have tossed it his way.
'SHORT BUS LEAF BLOWER'
*sigh*

It takes a real musician...

... to play the spoons!

A conversation with Ruby...

(While on the phone this a.m. with a dear friend of mine, she mentioned to me how her daughter says 'octopus'... hee hee Let's just say it's cute with a capitul 'pussaayyy' LOL Anyhoo, so I thought for shits & giggles I'd ask Ruby to give it a whirl, the following is the conversation that took place..."

Momma: "Hey Ruby, can you say Octopus?"
Ruby: (ignoring Momma while watching Maisy on Noggin)
Momma: "Ruuuuby... honey, can you come here & hold Momma's hand baby?"
Ruby: "No!"
Momma: "Awww, c'mon Ruby, come here & hold Momma's hand for just a minute..."
Ruby: (walking over with an evil little grin on her sweet face as she takes my hand in hers...)
Momma: "Ruby, can you say Octopus?"
Ruby: "Ok-A-Pus" *giggles & runs away*
Momma: *smilin* "Good girl honey! Hey Ruby, can you say Octopus?"
Ruby: "Puck-a-pus" *more giggling*
Momma: "Awwwww Ruby that's cute baby, hey Ruby, can you say Octopus?"
Ruby: "NO!"
I guess the 3rd time wasn't the charm... LOL

Oh Momma...

... it's nice that you helped me clean up the play room, but-

- you know I'm just gonna mess it up again tomorrow, right?
hehehehe

All in a day's work...

... don't worry Momma, I'll pick this up before bed.

Night Terrors...

...SUCK!!!

It's 3:06 am & yep, I'm up... AGAIN tonight!
Little miss "aww isn't she so cute, look at that smile" is UP CRYING AGAIN!
When I tell you that you really need the friggen patience of a saint to deal with shit like this, I am NOT KIDDING!
I think my visit into her bedroom just now to calm her down, give her bear, hand her a sippy, cover her over, etc... etc... etc... was about the HUNDRETH' time I've done that TONIGHT!

I'm tired, I feel like crappola, and have I mentioned I haven't had six straight hours of sleep in a long time?

To all of you 'waiting' for your little ones, first I'm sorry cuz I know the wait SUCKS ASS!
But second, please OH PLEASE listen to me when I say:

SLEEP WHENEVER YOU CAN!
Because all too soon...
*poof*
You'll be up like me at unfriggen'godly hours of the morning wondering why it is you're BLOGGING instead of DREAMING!

Pray that her music cd works cuz twins at 7:15 am is gonna COMPLETELY SUCK if I don't get some sleep!

-out-

Nope, I don't see it...

...are you SURE you got a splinter?

Hat, Schmatt...

... my Momma's so kewl she made me a hat out of TISSUE PAPER!

2 diapers & a smile...

( ... & one fuzzy best friend.)

When Ruby Smiles...

... so does my heart.
<3

1st dates are fun...

... 2nd dates are even better!
*grin*

Thanks to Jason for another fantastic date night.
Lots of smiles.
Lots of laughter.
Great company.
Delicious food.
(courtesy of yours truly)
And as always- the goodnight kiss...
(... or two, I didn't keep track)

*smiles*

And since he's such a good sport, a few silly photos for your enjoyment:



And as if this night wasn't already wonderful... check out how blessed I am:


Little miss 'Cheeks' all twisted like a pretzel in her crib with Bear just behind her head in the back round... and yes, you're seeing that right, her face is SMOOOSHED up against the crib rails!
Too cute... G'night baby girl, see you in the morning!
*hugs*
Momma loves you to the moon & back,
the sun & back,
the stars & back,
and CHINA & BACK!

Who Knew?!?

Ok, so this was me tonight, nothing fancy right? Well, I went out with Ruby to Toys R Us to get a gift for my niece's birthday party on Sunday & honestly, I must've looked cute or SOMETHING (perhaps it was the pheromone oil I was wearing...) BUT this REALLY CUTE SINGLE ITALIAN FATHER was seriously flirting with me for quite some time while his son Michael was checking out the many dinosaurs!
If I had known that Toys R Us was the place to be for single parents on a Friday night, WELL HELL, I'd have gone there AGES AGO!
No bars for me, T.R.U. is the new HOT SPOT PEOPLE!
*giggling*
hehehehe It was fun though, AND he not only was completely flirty, but followed me out, went in the same lane as me, followed me to the car with his son and said to him "Now Michael, say goodnight to the nice lady" and I smiled & said " the nice lady has a name, hi, I'm Amy..."
And daddy smiled & said to his son "Michael, say goodnight to Amy..." which he promptly did and the dad smiled a million dollar smile at me & even drove out in the direction I was headed. It was fun... and NO I didn't get his name cuz he didn't offer it & honestly, I know I could've gotten it had I wanted to but really I was more interested to see how brave he'd be... not as much as I'd have liked but it's ok. If you've flirted with one cute single dad in T.R.U. , then clearly the opportunity for another meeting with perhaps an even cuter dad lies ahead.

I AM GONNA LOVE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING THIS YEAR!
*might get started early*
(evilgrin)

HEHEHEHEHE
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Am I the ONLY one?

OK, so I sign on to get my email & of the thirty or so in my in-box, only TWO are from actual friends & are actual emails. There are about a dozen or so 'junk' mails that I don't even bother reading, and then there's another dozen or so from friends but look like they might be forwards and only after 'clicking' on them do I see that yes, they are indeed forwards, WHICH I HATE!
Listen, I love my friends, I do, all of you very much BUT PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT'S GOOD & HOLY STOP SENDING ME FORWARDS!
I don't read them, they just piss me off & keep in mind I've been online since I was 18 years old & have already SEEN THEM ALL at least a hundred times over!

Seriously, all day long I have to do baby things with baby toys and baby babbles, and baby bottles, complete with twin babies & one toddler etc...
By the TIME I actually get a minute to get to my computer, I don't want to be bothered with forwards about things I could care less about. What makes me smile & happy to be at the computer are actual emails from friends about every day things, like what they did or are going to do today or what they have planned for this weekend, or a simple "Hey Amy, how are you & Ruby doing? etc..."

Why is it that EVERYONE I know admits to HATING forwards & DELETING them but never has the nuts to just say to everyone in general to just STOP THE INSANITY & omit them from their 'FORWARD' list of recipients?

I'm going on record right now to publicly ask that they stop, today.
I can't stop the ones from strangers, so be it, that's what the delete key is for, but I shouldn't have to constantly delete mail from friends... because after all, if it's a letter from a friend, it's content should be a little more heartfelt than just another ' forward'...

Creepy ass dreams...

... ok, so for the second time last night I had a terrifying horrible nightmare to the point of waking up completely soaked from head to toe in terror sweat & panic mode was on high alert.

What, you may ask, was this terrible dream that scared the bejesus out of me?

Twice now I've dreamt that I've lost Ruby in a crowd. First one she got away from me at the mall & I couldn't find her, period.
And last night's number was us getting off a flight somewhere (who knows where) and she ran ahead of me & as I booked it after her to get her (you can never run as fast as you need to in dreams, PERIOD!) I never manage to get caught up and only pass by her cabbage patch doll underneath a first class seat. In a PANIC I haul ass into the airport where it's just business as usual & nobody seems to know where the 'crazy lunatics' baby has disappeared to. Furthermore, nobody seems to be the least bit sympathetic with me as I'm screaming & crying so much I'm barely able to make sense verbally.

I woke up this morning at @4am from this nightmare & RAN into Ruby's room to find her peacefully sleeping in her crib.

Same thing with the last one as well, ran like a loon into her bedroom & same deal, peacefully sleeping Ruby Cheeks in bed with Bear.

WHY? then am I having such shitty ass dreams/nightmares?
I don't know but I'll tell you one thing, they best stop & SOON cuz it's getting to the point where I don't even want to leave the house with her for fear that she's going to get away from me. (& those of you who KNOW me KNOW THAT THAT IS JUST GARBAGE because I've nannied MULTIPLE children all my life & kept ALL OF THEM in check regardless of where we were & the mall, a restaurant, outside walking down a busy street on a small sidewalk, etc... I always kept ALL CHILDREN safe & accounted for and did so without the use of dog leashes etc...)

I've been known to have dreams that almost always come true eventually (within a month or so) so knowing that makes me ever more cautious of these ugly numbers.

Anyone else out there have those horrible nightmarish type dreams that send you reeling into your child's room?
(please tell me I'm not the only one...)

Played my Mom Card... *update*

Today Ruby had her 2 year old checkup at the doctors.
(albeit a month late...)
Everything was going swimmingly... she's 28 lbs, her height is 35 1/4 inches, and she's in all the right percentiles for everything. Great? Great!

Then, comes the phlebotomist...

... not. so. much.
(thought Ruby)

This is when the 'Mom' card comes into play.
I politely told our lovely 'woman holding butterfly needle' that she gets ONE SHOT (literally & figuratively) to get this done. It works, kudos to her.
It doesn't, we're done & Ruby's getting dressed & we're out like trout.

She gave me sort of a 'funny' look & said " well, we really need this blood to run 'a,b,c' tests... blah blah blah."
I smiled back at her & said again: " I understand that & can appreciate that, however, you can then understand & appreciate that my mind is made up & I've told you how I feel. Ruby isn't a pin cushion, period."
(one pin cushion in this house is enough and I'd rather it be ME not my daughter...)

She gets into position, as I have to physically pin my daughter down on the exam table while she's screaming bloody murder. Add to this scene a student nurse there for observation blah blah blah... recipe for disaster, and I know this.

She wipes with alcohol, swabs the area dry & in goes said butterfly, and out comes the most heinous sound from my daughter. She opened her mouth so wide I do believe I saw down to her toes. My right ear was right next to said cavernous opening & the sound was piercing.
I'm sorry, what's that? I can't hear you now as I'm temporarily deaf in my right ear.

One shot, butterfly being moved & jiggled inside my daughter's arm... nurse trying skillfully to 'get it done'...
not working.
Kept wiggling without actually poking her again, which to me, is a deal breaker. One shot, means just that, ONE SHOT.
Don't be wiggling all around inside her poking her INSIDES repeatedly, cuz whether it's topically poking her or internally poking her, IT'S STILL POKING HER & HURTING LIKE HELL!
Both her AND ME at this point!
No mother ever wants to see their child in pain.

So I looked straight into butterfly woman's eyes & said very sternly: "That's enough..."

She tried the, " well let me just try this one little area... blah blah"

I reached over & grabbed her wrist and said
"No. I said that is enough. Pull the needle out, your one shot is more than done."

Dirty looks & screaming snotty sweaty child later & we're out the door & headed home.



As I type this little miss Ruby'cheeks is sound asleep in Momma's bed nose to nose with her beloved Bear. She didn't want her pack & play, she didn't want her crib, she just kept quietly sobbing "momma bed, momma bed..."
so, 'momma bed' it is.
Because 'momma loves her little girl' more than words exist to elaborate on the subject.

And as far as the tests go?
They can wait...

*Ruby is no stranger to having her blood drawn. Upon our arrival home from China, we went into Boston & they took 11 vials of blood... ELEVEN!
Needless to say... she remembers.

Mexican chocolate? *UPDATE* (X's 2)

Ok, don't ask but tonight as I was farting around online, I decided to go to google images & see if I could find any pics of my OLD FAVORITE CANDYBAR:

Hershey's BarNone

OMG IT WAS THE BEST!
Layers of chocolate wafer cookies held together with layers of chocolate fudge all drenched in a blanket of more chocolate.
It was a CHOCOHOLICS DREAM!
*a diabetic's nightmare*
LOL
So I come across a few pictures of my beloved MIA treat & one of them took me HERE!

I have no words... I live in the greatest country in the world & all Hershey's has for me is an impromptu' road trip south of the border if I need my chocolate fix?

C'mon hershey... you're gonna have to do better than that!
All the thousands of dollars us americans spend annually on chocolate and not only just chocolate, but specifically from the big 'H' and they can't bring back one simple little candybar?

Not good enough!
And speaking of candybars that are MIA, whatever happened to my CHUNKY bar?

Man, now I want some chocoalte.
PISSAH!

Psst... hey Donna, you mean this little number?


Actually never heard of it but it looks good!
*drool*
Is it bad that I KNOW I have halloween candy in my house & am tempted to get myself one right now?
Nope, can't do it... gotta save it for the little munchkins come the 31st.
UGH!

** Ok, here is what I found out so far:
Sadly I first found a list of all the DISCONTINUED TREATS & your beloved milkyway was among them. *the pic I posted I found through google/images, just was the box for sale on ebay I believe, not actual bars*

I then did more searching on google & found out that your bar was originally produced by a company by the name of "Hollywood Brands".

Here's what I found out about them:

"Hollywood Brands" candy bars made a bar called the Milkshake. Hollywoods Brands sold to Leaf then to Hershey's. The Milkshake is currently discontinued, unfortunately.
-BUT-

Next, I found this site where you can not only take a trip down CANDY MEMORY LANE BUT you can ORDER any of the items they have listed!
Not too shabby even if I couldn't manage to find you your delicious childhood favorite...

I'm sorry, I tried...
(do I at least get an "A" for effort?)

GOOD TIMES! ***UPDATED***

Ruby & I are headed out today to her first visit EVER to one of my favorite places on earth!
THE TOPSFIELD FAIR!
It's america's oldest agricultural fair!
And, despite the fact that I'm sick as a dog with probably the worlds WORST cold & cough ever... WE'RE GOING!
Because I promised my daughter last night that as long as Momma didn't wake up with a fever, we were 'GO' for the FAIR!
So...
LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

(pictures later I'm sure...)

This is my girl on the way to the fair. Let's just say the traffic was WORSE THAN IN CHINA.
Nuff said?

But because we drove slow enough, we were free to not only enjoy the scenery, but also to take PICTURES of it!
*evilgrin*



Here we are finally at the fair & wouldn't you know it, my camera is being MOODY!
So, the color on this pic is crap but WE'RE CUTE even in distorted colors!
*grin*


Isn't this hat neat? It's hand knit from Alpaca wool! IT WAS SO TOASTY, but also SO EXPENSIVE! Since I couldn't afford to buy it, I figured I'd take a pic of me IN IT just to remember it. hehehe Yes, I am retarded.


Here are the beautiful clydesdale's... took these pics specifically for Ruby's Aunt Catherine!


*even though she won't see them for a few till her computer gets fixed*

Here's the largest pumpkin on the north shore... this bad boy weighed in at 1,347.5!!
That's one hell of pumpkin pie just WAITING to be made!


Awwww, why is it that all of a sudden I'm craving a burger?


This is 'Tom'.
He's a little pissed off because someone walking by casually mentioned the 'T' word...
Sorry Tom, but you'll look GREAT with some gravy, stuffing & cranberry sauce my friend!

All this talk about food had made my girl a little hungry... how's that popcorn baby?

Ruby points out something to me, and I look up and what do I see?


Dozens of crazy people flying a buck 20 over my HEAD!
Excellent... PLEASE DON'T FALL ON ME!


And after that? CANDY FOR DESSERT!
*not sure if you can make out that one in the front one in from the right,
but it says 'boston baked beans'*
& they're YUMMY TOO!

The bandstand was alive with music and miss Ruby & me danced till our feet hurt!

This is a phenominal site to see, this is ACTUAL SAND and an ACTUAL HAND CRAFTED SAND CASTLE!!! Man, that thing is there every year & ever year it never ceases to amaze the shit out of me! TALENTED PEOPLE THAT'S FOR SURE!

Other things that are there every year... THIS HIDEOUS MANNEQUIN!
Thing SCARES THE SHIT OUT OF ME EVERY YEAR & you'd think that EVENTUALLY I'd REMEMBER that it's FAKE & NOT REAL!
*not so much*
Jumped a MILE, AGAIN!
*sigh*


My girl's FIRST OFFICIAL Topsfield Fair T-shirt.
*I bought this TWO YEARS AGO knowing that SOMEDAY, \
I'd have a daughter to put it on*
*smile*
This year, I bought her a blue one in the next size up for NEXT YEARS FAIR!
hehehehe

But perhaps I'll have to find her a new pair of specs, this time tinted blue to match!

And last but not least, what better way for miss Ruby to end her first visit to the fair,
then with a spin around the carousel with her favorite uncle Steve!

Another finished project...

... and just in time to surprise my little Niecie Doo with this for her birthday!
(Oct 11th.)
Happy Birthday my little Niecie Dooney! Auntie LOVES YOU!

A what on my head... ?

... a DIAPER?!#$%?


Well how in the HECK did THAT get there?!?#$#$%

Ok, that's enough now...

C'mon Ma, gimmie the camera!
QUIT IT!

Ugh, here we go again with more 'together' pics.

Momma, I love you but... HONESTLY!
*sigh*

(Wish they had a diaper big enough to fit your large bean! TURN ABOUT'S FAIR PLAY LADY!)

Tazmanian Devil's got NOTHING on my twins!

And this is only after about a 20 minutes... LOL

If I had a tub I'd say this is a 'calgon' moment...
but since I don't, I'll settle for a hot shower & 3 napping children.