HYSTERICAL & SO TRUE!!!

American kids: Move out when they're 18 with the full support of their parents.
Italian kids: Move out when they're 28, having saved enough money for a house, and are two weeks away from getting married....unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.

American kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings a Bundt cake, and you sip coffee and chat.
Italian kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings 3 days worth of food, begins to tidy up, dust, do the laundry, and rearrange the furniture.

American kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them, and it's usually only on special occasions.
Italian kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads show up, unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00, and starts pruning the fruit trees. If there are no fruit trees, he'll plant some.

American kids: Always pay retail, and look in the Yellow Pages when they need to have something done.
Italian kids: Call their dad or uncle, and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done...cash deal. Know what I mean??

American kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get only cake and coffee. No more.
Italian kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get antipasto, wine, a pasta dish, a choice of two meats, salad, bread, a cannoli, fruit, espresso, and a few after dinner drinks.

American kids: Will greet you with "Hello" or "Hi".
Italian kids: Will give you a big hug, a kiss on your cheek, and a pat on your back.

American kids: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Italian kids: Call your parents Mom and Dad.

American kids: Have never seen you cry.
Italian kids: Cry with you.

American kids: Borrow your stuff for a few days and then return it.
Italian kids: Keep your stuff so long, they forget it's yours.

American kids: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
Italian kids: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.


American kids: Know few things about you.
Italian kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

American kids: Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft mushy white bread.
Italian kids: Eat Genoa Salami and Provolone sandwiches on crusty Italian bread.

American kids: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
Italian kids: Will kick the whole crowd's ass who left you behind.

American kids: Are for a while.
Italian kids: Are for life.
American kids: Like Rod Stewart and Steve Tyrell.
Italian kids: Worship Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra

American kids: Think that being Italian is cool.
Italian kids: Know that being Italian is cool.

Before & After (1 month post op) pics...

One month before my surgery...



...nearly one month AFTER my surgery.

Literally almost 100 lbs lost, not quite but it sounds better than saying 90 something, I'd SO much RATHER say " YEP, NEARLY 100 LBS!" Just makes me feel good.

I know this isn't a big transformation when you consider how much more I have yet to go, but it's a hell of a start, yes? ;) hehehe

A Case Of The Sillies...

4th Week Post OP...

...and here's what I've learned about my new pluming:

I sip water constantly, but was doing that before the surgery as well only, BEFORE surgery, there were times I was so thirsty, I'd GULP. Not anymore. Not ever.


Things I CAN eat: (and by 'can' I mean a bite or two...)
Eggs
Tomato
Fresh Mozzarella Cheese
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Smart Food Popcorn!!!!!!! <----------makes me SO HAPPY I could CRY!
Yogurt
Sugar Free Fat Free Chocolate Pudding
Turkey Chili (homemade by me, if anyone is interested I'll post the recipe later!)
Shredded Deli chicken and/or turkey
Any/All fruit SO LONG AS THE SKIN IS REMOVED!
Carrots, peas, corn on the cob, any veggie (except broccoli) SO LONG AS THE VEGGIE IS COOKED OR STEAMED, NO RAW VEGGIES!)
Lean Cuisine Meals (only ones with turkey & chicken)
Pear Juice (drank every morning & night as a natural way to be sure I am always regular, I drink it when taking my supplements. Trust me, IT WORKS! Never ONCE needed a stool softener!) hehehe
PIZZA! Had ONE small piece, it has onions, peppers, and mushrooms on it & I ate the whole thing, CRUST & ALL and was FINE!

There are other things but so far, that's what I'm kinda happy with & living off of.

Now, more importantly, here are the things I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TOLERATE, PERIOD:

TONIC! (Soda)
Gum
Alcohol
Butter
Sugar
Sweets (ie: cakes, cookies, candies, muffins, etc...)
Heavy Carbs (ONLY bread, whereas the pizza, was fine since I ate the other things off it FIRST before touching the crust...)

Honestly, I had a homemade blueberry muffin the other day... (Ruby made them with my Aunt) and my daughter INSISTED that "Momma you twy one! Pwease?!" Against my better judgement I ate one, the whole thing, and was in the fetal position on the couch for the better part of the afternoon & Ruby had to end up going downstairs to visit her grandparents because I literally felt like I was going to die.

THAT is MY dumping.


I don't vomit, I don't get diarrhea, I just get this AWFUL NAUSEOUS feeling & need to curl up in a ball & pray for it to go away, or to die, whichever comes first. But TRUST ME WHEN I SAY, I think I'd MUCH PREFER VOMITING OR HERSHEY SQUIRTS OVER THIS DEATH BALL that I become. It's NOT FUN so I NO LONGER CRAVE, EVER, those things that I KNOW will make me feel like that. It's JUST SO ODD! I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE CAKE!
Not anymore. Maybe a little lick of frosting come Ruby's birthday this September, but NO CAKE! Just not worth it.

So, there's that... any one have any questions? Lay em on me, I'm an open book...

*hugs*

-Amy

Although I ONLY Have ONE Child...

...my front hall suggests otherwise. LOL hehe




Ruby sharing a giggle with her Nonno...




And yet another pic of me, just taken minutes ago. Yes, I am aware it's the same top. When you lose as much weight as I have you only have two or three tops that FIT YOU still. I'm trying to make the most of them while I still can! ;)

Because I Know It's All You Want Anyways...

A Girl & Her South African Hat...

Chocolate Brown is the new BLACK!

...I seriously spent over 7 hours tonight in my colorist's chair at the salon saying 'goodbye' to BLACK hair (tired of the white hairs making the all too regular appearance with a BLACK back drop... pissed me off!) and hello to CHOCOLATE BROWN!
I know, not that much of a difference just yet, but over time, as my body morph's into something new, so will my hair color as I intend to eventually have several pretty shades of brown all mixed in so that the white hairs won't know WHAT the hell to do!

(one can only hope...)

Yeah, Not Really Something Anyone Warned Me About...

(my BEFORE photo, taken about a month before my surgery...)


(& not necessarily my 'after' photo just yet as it's only been two weeks since surgery, HOWEVER, this photo shows how much weight I have lost as I now have a face WITHOUT whatever that shit was that was attacking my NECK! And it also shows my UGLY ASS NEW STUPID GLASSES that I HATE! Long, LONG story to go with those, but let's just say that I've been too disturbed to even share it thus far... perhaps sometime soon. In the meantime, just pretend that they are still my gorgeous thin little black frames you've all come to know & love, as I did... UGH!)

Ok, onto the REAL meat & taters of this post;

...I mean it's not like they were going to sit me down & say: "Now Amy, keep in mind that when you start to really lose weight after the surgery, you may lose a substantial amount of it in your breasts first...oh, and by the by, one breast may lose far more weight than it's twin so, you could be 'lopsided' for a bit until they even out..."

I REALLY WISH SOMEONE WOULD'VE PERHAPS MENTIONED THAT SHIT TO ME, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? I've gone down at LEAST 2 cup sizes & several inches around thus far but, if I'm being COMPLETELY HONEST here, my LEFT GIRL is still larger than her RIGHT COUNTERPART! Now, NEITHER OF THEM feel like MY BOOBS, period. BUT, at least the left one is SOMEWHAT SIMILAR TO WHAT SHE USED TO LOOK LIKE NOT TOO LONG AGO. Little miss Right? WHO'S BOOB IS THIS? NOT MINE CERTAINLY! OMG!

And now, not only have I shrunk so much that even my SMALL, TIGHT, NEVER COULD WEAR THEM BEFORE jeans are FALLING STRAIGHT OFF ME so that I am really only wearing the knit, capri, drawstring pants I bought at Kohl's, BUT EVEN THOSE ARE A SCORCH BIG! ugh... and those were just 1X's.

Please don't misunderstand, I'm NOT complaining, honest I'm not...

...but all this losing weight & having someone else's right boob, and pants falling off sometimes in public is just a bit much to process, ya know? I feel like I'm walking around in someone else's body! Not to mention that, recently upon taking miss Ruby to her favorite place in the whole world (Salem Willows), we did what we always do when we go there together... we split a small lo-mein (chicken this time instead of our usual beef as I can only have chicken & turkey & fish for the first 4 months...) and instead of eating it & tossing away it's wrapper. We split maybe two or three bites a piece, had a TON left over, brought excess noodles home, put in fridge, had the next day for lunch, still a ton left over, put THOSE in fridge, enjoyed them again the 3rd day, only a few bites for me & miss Roo managed to finish whatever noodles still made it in the carton.

NEVER did I think a small lo-mein would last us THREE FRIGGEN DAYS! Do you people know how much money I'm saving on groceries? IT'S STAGGERING!

Not to mention, the pay off when I spend some time with someone who, I love dearly and haven't seen in FOREVER & his jaw hits the floor because he can't believe it's me & how in the world did I lose half of myself & OMG you look beautiful etc, etc, etc...

Not saying anymore just yet. I love him too much to risk ruining anything but let's just say that he's been in a special corner of my heart now for many, many years.
(The fact that his mother LOVES me & his father thinks I'm a hoot, IS JUST AN ADDED BONUS!)

WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And now, for some Ruby pictures, because I know you all didn't come here just to listen to me bitch about my uneven boobs!

Yeah, Not Really Something Anyone Warned Me About...

Alive & kicking...

...sorry it's taken me this long to post an update, but I've been quite regimented in following doctors orders to a T (kinda) and trying my best to stay home, stay mellow & avoid lifting anything over 10 lbs. (and by over 10 lbs, you KNOW I mean RUBY!)
Tell me THAT isn't the hardest thing ever to do on the planet? Especially when she looks up at me & says, 'Momma wanna snuggle?' OMG KILLIN ME!
She asks DAILY (and multiple times daily) to see 'Momma's tummy', and says "Momma's tummy is sore, Ruby be very gentle!" and she always is.

I was going to take a pic of my stomach for you all to enjoy but then thought, really, who but my daughter enjoys that? LOL So decided against it.
As I type this my little girl is in the kitchen with her Nanny. T (Uncle Steve's Mom) and the two are making cookies together, A-DAMN-DORABLE!

I, on the other hand, am not only sitting here praying for the last bits of the CO2 to exit my abdomen, but wishing that I had bought several flavors of the protein shake that has come to be the bane of my existence.

Other than that, all's good. I have two more weeks to rest & feel better before I have to return to work & the real world as it may be, but I'm so ready for anything other than the walls of my apartment. LOL It's fun to stay home when you CHOOSE to, but when it's doctor's orders? ALL I WANNA DO IS GO DRIVE MY CAR LIKE A SILLY WOMAN JUST TO FEEL THE WIND IN MY FACE DAMNIT! Anyhoo

Hope everyone enjoyed a wonderful 4th & I promise to continue to update as my progress continues. Oh, btw, 10 lbs down as of the scale this morning... ON TOP of the original 70.

I should change the name of this blog to: "THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MOMMA!"

I'm home...

...I'm swollen, I'm sore, I can barely finish my protein shake as just about half way through it I feel stuffed, but it's all good. Just took a nice long hot shower & plan to follow through with that date I made with my pain meds & my couch.
Ruby was very happy to see Momma, slightly freaked out by all the 'spots' on Momma's tummy, (there were 7 of them), and is still playing downstairs with her Nannie while Momma gets a bit of rest. Thank you ALL for keeping me in your thoughts & prayers.
Clearly, you were heard...

*hugs*

-Amy (aka: the soon to be, incredible shrinking woman...)