Beyond Proud...
...it's moments like this that make me realize just how blessed I am that she's my daughter.
GOOD JOB RUBY! MOMMA'S SO PROUD OF YOU!!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BABY!!!
Thursday, May 31, 2007
...it's moments like this that make me realize just how blessed I am that she's my daughter.
GOOD JOB RUBY! MOMMA'S SO PROUD OF YOU!!
KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK BABY!!!
Monday, May 28, 2007
My Girl...
...yes, she's sound asleep,
yes, she's in MY bed,
and YES, she's COMPLETELY ASS BACKWARDS!
God bless my girl, she can sleep in any position, ANYWHERE, ANYTIME!
hehehe
To coin one of Ruby's favorite sayings:
"Just like Momma!"
*big smile*
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
The Alphabet Song...
...as sung 'VERBATIM' by my daughter, Ruby Cate.
(no lie, I am still laughing as I type this!)
*imagine the ABC song in your head please, makes for a better read*
"A B C D E F G
H I J A
(burp)
A K A A E
M O O P Q
SING A ME...
...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!"
American Idol, HERE WE COME!
hehehehe
(no lie, I am still laughing as I type this!)
*imagine the ABC song in your head please, makes for a better read*
"A B C D E F G
H I J A
(burp)
A K A A E
M O O P Q
SING A ME...
...YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!"
American Idol, HERE WE COME!
hehehehe
Sunday, May 13, 2007
Monday, May 07, 2007
Ruby's Book Club...
...only has 3 rules*:
1. Book will be chosen by Ruby and/or Bear at all times.
2. Books can and should be read multiple times before switching titles with no complaints from reader and or fellow book club members.
and finally,3. Everyone MUST BE WEARING A BOW**, NO EXCEPTIONS.
*Ruby's Book Club reserves the right to change any/all of these rules at any time without notice to suit the needs of it's founder & her fuzzy silent friend.
**No bows were harmed during the making of this post.
Thursday, May 03, 2007
Mother's Day...
...a little early!
Thank you to my wonderfully sweet & thoughtful friend Sherry
for these GORGEOUS flowers, that,
not only brightened up my WHOLE HOUSE upon their arrival,
but made me realize just how lucky I am
to have her as my friend!
*hugs*
Thank you to my wonderfully sweet & thoughtful friend Sherry
for these GORGEOUS flowers, that,
not only brightened up my WHOLE HOUSE upon their arrival,
but made me realize just how lucky I am
to have her as my friend!
*hugs*
Finally...
...all of APRIL as seen through photos.
I've been DYING to post these for what felt like FOREVER without much success,
but thanks to a little gift from my beloved fuzzy friend Ebenezer,
It's now time to show you all what you've missed...
'Sleeping Beauty'
'Easter Egg Color Time'
'Cutest Easter Bunny Ever'
'She has her Momma's ears'
'Nonna Maria's Ricotta Cake'
Only make this ONCE a year, every Easter...
...man is it DELICIOUS!
'Nonno & Me minus one mustache'
'My "Uncle Amum" aka: Adam'
Gimmie a B! Gimmie an I! Gimmie a G!
Gimmie a G! Gimmie an I! Gimmie a R! Gimmie an L!
Gimmie a B! Gimmie an E! Gimmie a D!
What does it spell?
BIG GIRL BED!
'Sharing secrets with Bear'
(which basically means we're up to NO GOOD!)
'Mirror Mirror On The Floor'
I've been DYING to post these for what felt like FOREVER without much success,
but thanks to a little gift from my beloved fuzzy friend Ebenezer,
It's now time to show you all what you've missed...
'Sleeping Beauty'
'Easter Egg Color Time'
'Cutest Easter Bunny Ever'
'She has her Momma's ears'
'Nonna Maria's Ricotta Cake'
Only make this ONCE a year, every Easter...
...man is it DELICIOUS!
'Nonno & Me minus one mustache'
'My "Uncle Amum" aka: Adam'
Gimmie a B! Gimmie an I! Gimmie a G!
Gimmie a G! Gimmie an I! Gimmie a R! Gimmie an L!
Gimmie a B! Gimmie an E! Gimmie a D!
What does it spell?
BIG GIRL BED!
'Sharing secrets with Bear'
(which basically means we're up to NO GOOD!)
'Mirror Mirror On The Floor'
One Year Ago Today...
...I said my final goodbye's to my beloved friend Ebenezer.
I just can't believe it's already been a whole year.
I miss him.
SO MUCH, I miss him.
*tears*
(I don't know if this is a gift from my boy or not, but you'll all please notice that his picture is here, posted, without a blogger hitch. Coincidence? Or the power of love?
I'm going with love...
Thanks buddy, I miss you!)
I just can't believe it's already been a whole year.
I miss him.
SO MUCH, I miss him.
*tears*
(I don't know if this is a gift from my boy or not, but you'll all please notice that his picture is here, posted, without a blogger hitch. Coincidence? Or the power of love?
I'm going with love...
Thanks buddy, I miss you!)
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
'MAD!' & A Tale Of Two Fingers...
So I'm in the kitchen cleaning up from breakfast & Ruby is in her room playing with her toys.
Pretty normal morning... until:
*crying* 'Momma Help Please!'
I run in to find her little hand wedged into a 'shape sorter' that she adores & KNOWS how to use, but apparently this time had forgotten which end was 'up' so to speak.
"Awww baby, c'mere, give Momma a hug... you're all right my love."
"I sad Momma, I so sad..."
"I know baby luv, you'll be ok, your fingers are ok... Momma helped you, see?"
*looking down at fingers in question*
"I MAD Momma!"
Slightly stunned, I take a minute to digest what my child has just told me.
See, Ruby's always been able to use adjectives to describe her feelings to me. Always.
Things like 'happy' or 'tired' or 'sad' or 'hungry' or 'cold' or 'hot' etc...
But MAD?
That shit's new...
that came from way out in left field,
hitting this Momma square in the face!
"Baby, do you mean you're sad? It made you sad to get your fingers stuck?"
*looking up at me as if I've clearly lost the ability to understand her words*
"No Momma,Ruby MAD not sad!"
*throwing evil shape sorter across the room*
"Baby, that's not very nice...
I'm sorry that you're upset but we don't throw our toys, ok?"
"Momma, I not ok! No more toy! Ruby put away..."
*grabbing bear for a nose to nose makeout session, she walks out of the bedroom leaving me to sort through the chaos that was the evil finger eating shape sorter*
Man, I didn't expect to hear that word out of her mouth... not that it's a bad word or anything but I typically don't use 'mad' when speaking, even when I'm angry. I say Momma's upset or Momma's sad or even Momma's angry... but mad?
So as if that wasn't enough to have to process before even finishing my first cup of tea,
she re enters the room with this beautiful nugget of info:
*holding up the 'closet door incident' fingers from last week*
"Momma?"
"Yes Ruby..."
"My fingers?"
*sadly like clockwork I fall into step with my role
in her play lovingly coined around this house as: A Tale of Two Fingers*
"Awww sweetie, what happened to your fingers?"
"Fingers shut it in a door."
"Awwww baby, and whose fault was that?"
"Momma's fault."
*smile on her face*
"Oh my sweet, and what did Momma say when that happened?"
"I SO sorry, soooooo soooooooo sorry, Momma"
"Yes baby, Momma was so so sorry. And then what did Momma say?"
"Not do again."
"That's right luvie, I'll never do it again, because I love you."
"WuVoo Momma!"
*hugs & kisses*
And then,
as if satisfied with her role in pointing out the error of my ways,
she turns & leaves.
No lie, my kid has told that 'fingers in a door' story to ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN!
Neighbors we know.
Neighbors we don't know.
Strangers at Target.
Strangers at the grocery store.
Each & every one of her stuffed animals is privy to an individual tale
of the dangers of Momma's & closet doors... etc.
You get the idea.
And the worst of it is,
it's with a gleam in her eye that she points out who's at fault. LOL
That's my girl.
*smiling*
(I'm so in trouble when she's a teenager... I feel the grey hairs starting already!)
Pretty normal morning... until:
*crying* 'Momma Help Please!'
I run in to find her little hand wedged into a 'shape sorter' that she adores & KNOWS how to use, but apparently this time had forgotten which end was 'up' so to speak.
"Awww baby, c'mere, give Momma a hug... you're all right my love."
"I sad Momma, I so sad..."
"I know baby luv, you'll be ok, your fingers are ok... Momma helped you, see?"
*looking down at fingers in question*
"I MAD Momma!"
Slightly stunned, I take a minute to digest what my child has just told me.
See, Ruby's always been able to use adjectives to describe her feelings to me. Always.
Things like 'happy' or 'tired' or 'sad' or 'hungry' or 'cold' or 'hot' etc...
But MAD?
That shit's new...
that came from way out in left field,
hitting this Momma square in the face!
"Baby, do you mean you're sad? It made you sad to get your fingers stuck?"
*looking up at me as if I've clearly lost the ability to understand her words*
"No Momma,Ruby MAD not sad!"
*throwing evil shape sorter across the room*
"Baby, that's not very nice...
I'm sorry that you're upset but we don't throw our toys, ok?"
"Momma, I not ok! No more toy! Ruby put away..."
*grabbing bear for a nose to nose makeout session, she walks out of the bedroom leaving me to sort through the chaos that was the evil finger eating shape sorter*
Man, I didn't expect to hear that word out of her mouth... not that it's a bad word or anything but I typically don't use 'mad' when speaking, even when I'm angry. I say Momma's upset or Momma's sad or even Momma's angry... but mad?
So as if that wasn't enough to have to process before even finishing my first cup of tea,
she re enters the room with this beautiful nugget of info:
*holding up the 'closet door incident' fingers from last week*
"Momma?"
"Yes Ruby..."
"My fingers?"
*sadly like clockwork I fall into step with my role
in her play lovingly coined around this house as: A Tale of Two Fingers*
"Awww sweetie, what happened to your fingers?"
"Fingers shut it in a door."
"Awwww baby, and whose fault was that?"
"Momma's fault."
*smile on her face*
"Oh my sweet, and what did Momma say when that happened?"
"I SO sorry, soooooo soooooooo sorry, Momma"
"Yes baby, Momma was so so sorry. And then what did Momma say?"
"Not do again."
"That's right luvie, I'll never do it again, because I love you."
"WuVoo Momma!"
*hugs & kisses*
And then,
as if satisfied with her role in pointing out the error of my ways,
she turns & leaves.
No lie, my kid has told that 'fingers in a door' story to ANYONE WHO WILL LISTEN!
Neighbors we know.
Neighbors we don't know.
Strangers at Target.
Strangers at the grocery store.
Each & every one of her stuffed animals is privy to an individual tale
of the dangers of Momma's & closet doors... etc.
You get the idea.
And the worst of it is,
it's with a gleam in her eye that she points out who's at fault. LOL
That's my girl.
*smiling*
(I'm so in trouble when she's a teenager... I feel the grey hairs starting already!)
Sunday, April 29, 2007
The Real Deal...
As my friend Kristen & I stood in line waiting for the John Edward's show,
we both were amazed at the scale of his fans, even in a smaller venue such as
Boston's Radisson Hotel.
While waiting in line I met a wonderful woman... care to guess her name?
No?
Ok... I'll tell you.
Her name was Amy Elizabeth, and she was a Leo.
Weird?
Yes, but in a fantastic way.
Amy had lost her Mom years ago & was hoping to connect with her.
Secretly, I started hoping for her too.
She sat with me & Kristen, in fact I had her sit in between us just in case we got called on, we'd all stand up as a group & maybe that would hold a better chance for her to potentially get read.
It was a shot, it couldn't hurt.
The event was being held in one of their ballrooms,
a room that held potentially up to 500 people but if I were to guess,
there were maybe slightly less than that once we all found our way inside
& found our seats.
They had a table set up with tons of pitchers of ice water & plastic cups.
The line was long & hot, slowly moving everyone through stairways and
narrow hallways that, if you were claustrophobic, must have sucked,
and finally one cluster at a time, we squished like sardine's
into little elevators that took us
all up to the 6th floor.
They took half of our tickets & returned the stubs in the event that anyone needed to leave the room to use the bathroom, you would need that stub to get back in, no exceptions.
Done.
Stub in pocket.
Thank you very much!
I made my way into the room, found an end seat along the right hand side
next to the water table & about half way back from the front.
A perfect spot.
They had two employees of the John Edward's team with mic's testing to be sure the sound was correct & making sure everyone had found a seat & was ready to begin.
We had, and we were.
Of the two, there was a man & a woman, although I suspect the possessing more feminine qualities than the woman.
If I were a gambling woman, I'd bet the bank that this boy was gay...
Fabulously, wonderfully, outrageously gay, because I love gay men and they always have a way of making me smile just a little bigger & laugh just a little louder.
He did both.
He got up on stage & warmed us up & then explained to us the rules.
"When talking into the mic..." he said "Don't .... *..... *.....* this because ....* .....* hard ....* .... hear you."
(moving the mic around from left to right to prove his point,
we only heard half of what he said.)
"You need to keep the mic right here at your mouth so that John can hear what it is you're asking him, ok?"
Yes, ok.
Next, the rest of the rules were to follow;
"No flash photography, so if any of you need to take a picture, you can take one now!"
(he posed with a sparkling smile & a whirl)
We all laughed.
" There will be no audio and/or video recording,
and No this event is not being recorded for T.V., do you see any cameras set up? Trust me, John's camera crew isn't that little OR that fast. *laughing* And I'm pretty sure there aren't any hidden cameras, at least I hope there aren't!"
More laughter.
Ok, so once the seminar starts,
there will be no leaving the room to use the bathroom
so if you have to go I suggest you go now..."
A dozen or so of us get up & do exactly that.
(myself included)
The seminar is scheduled to run from 2pm till 4:30 pm.
He actually ran from 2 till a little after 5pm.
Amazing.
He came out onto the stage, everyone clapped & there was a smile across every face in there.
Well, the faces I could see anyway.
I would imagine that it's always exciting to see someone like him in person, whether it's your first time (like me) or your fifth.
He began with saying hi to all of us & explaining a few things that always happen at every show.
Everyone, whether they think they will or not, develops 'Psychic Amnesia', which means that when/if he calls on us to remember something... we won't.
Something that, to everyone else in the room seems like 'OMG DUH, IF THAT WAS ME OF COURSE I'D KNOW IT WAS ME', but to whoever it's meant for, it just sits in the air, waiting to be claimed.
Also, if he talks about someone 'above' us, don't look up, they're not literally floating over your heads, he simply means 'older' than us.
A contemporary to our side, is a sibling or cousin or friend, someone of the same age.
Someone who is 'below' us, would be someone younger, a child, a child of a friend, a younger someone... and again, no they are not below us so don't check under your chairs.
*Laughter*
Believe me, it's happened before, he says.
He starts talking a little about what he does and how he starts & everyone seems to be getting very excited at the prospect of witnessing him first hand at his amazing gift.
He stands completely still & is just quietly breathing for a minute or two... then he looks up & says;
"I'm being pulled over here" he points to the opposite side of the room from me, nearly in the identical location as me.
He had a man coming through who died from blunt force trauma suddenly.
It wasn't expected.
He's trying to reach his wife.
She was the mother of his two children & pregnant with their third, when he suddenly passed.
She was there with her mom & a few family members.
It took her a while to make the connection,
(psychic amnesia)
but once she did, the tears started flowing.
Poor thing, it was amazing to see this connection take place for her but it was sad too.
It makes you realize that she hasn't had any connection with her husband in nearly four years.
Her baby is 3 & a half.
John said that he wants her to know he's watching her always.
He's proud of how she's raising their kids, and his last one, a daughter, is a spitfire!
To be careful, because she came complete with a bag of tricks & is planning on keeping mom on her TOES!
Also, he said, he asked her PLEASE not to let anyone do that whole "Aww poor thing, she never knew her father" to her.
It's negative energy when people do that & this poor little girl is going to be bombarded with negativity every time someone mentions Dad & he does not want that for her.
He asked that when someone attempts that 'Awww' moment, to simply smile & say, "She's doing great!"
She had tears streaming down her cheeks.
Most of us were tearing up.
You couldn't not.
Next he is being called to the back of my section, to a man.
He lost his parents.
They both stood up, he started to read the man at first &
then shifts his attention suddenly to the woman.
"I have someone who is coming through who dies from an accidental gunshot"
She is visibly starting to choke up.
"He telling me to tell you he's so sorry. He didn't mean to do it, it was an accident."
She had seen her child's father accidentally shoot & kill himself in front of their 1 year old.
She went on to marry & have two other children, but that 1 year old, is now 15.
She begins to cry.
"I'm mad at him!" she says.
John smiles at her & says, "No you're not, he knows you're not."
She begins sobbing.
"No, I'm not..." she says through tears. "I just wish our son could've known him, I miss him"
And so, the seminar was well underway, each family making a connection before our eyes to the point that everyone, including my skeptical friend Kristen, was admitting to having the hairs on her neck stand up a few times from things John hit on that you can't pull out of thin air. "He's the real deal." she said to me.
Towards the end, he calls toward the back of my section again & says the following:
"Ok guys, this is really graphic, and I apologize but I gotta give it as I get it ok?"
We were all in agreement that it was ok.
"Someone passes by way of a murder, and is found dismembered & in a freezer."
NOT a common thing.
Not like lung cancer.
Not like a heart attack.
Not like a car accident.
This was VERY SPECIFIC.
This was one of those "OMG IF THAT WERE ME I'D KNOW IMMEDIATELY!" moments.
Two words:
Psychic Amnesia.
Nobody stood up.
Nobody claimed this.
Nobody knew what he was getting at.
John says:
"This is one of those moments where, I look like I'm standing here patiently waiting but inside I'm thinking 'MY GOD, WHO IS THAT OUT OF IT THAT THEY CAN'T CONNECT A BODY IN PIECES IN A FREEZER?!?' kind of thing..."
Nervous laughter breaks out around the room.
More silence...
...until suddenly,
a man raised his hand & a mic was brought to him.
He says:
"I don't know if this is a connection but, I got a cousin in jail right now who did that."
"Who did what?" John asks.
"Who murdered someone." he says.
John says, "Did he murder them in that way?"
"What?" the guy asks.
"Was the person he murdered found in pieces in a freezer?" John asks slightly horrified that he had to repeat such a thing again...
"Yeah." the man says.
The whole room is silent.
"Ok then," John says. "Welcome to your reading..."
It was his father coming through & using that very specific detail
as his way to connect to his son.
Something that he figured was far too unique NOT to recognize and would be a slam dunk.
It was, even though it may have taken a little longer than expected.
The reading continued... the man, although slightly embarrassed that he A. didn't pick up on such a thing right away, and B. is related to a murderer,
was really glad to have heard from his father.
Then John is being pulled up to the front of the room, opposite side as us, and hits the nail on the head with one family whose mother Helen came through.
Helen was a force to recon with.
This reading was the longest of the night, lasting nearly 30 minutes.
Helen had alot to say, her family in attendance was HUGE
(nearly a dozen people or so)
and everyone connected with EVERY THING JOHN SAID!
Things he described in their house (in the basement)
a cuckoo clock that no longer worked (in the basement)
stopped at a specific time that should mean something to them.
It did.
It was the time of their Mother's passing.
Amaxing.
Then there was a huge sticker of scooby doo stuck to a glass storm door
(shocker, in the basement)
Things that can't be random, were far too unique to this particular family to be coincidence,
also... all in their basement.
I think I speak for everyone when I started to jokingly think inside my head that it's a wonder that dismembered frozen body wasn't also found, in their basement.
I know, not funny, but it's how my mind works... what can I say.
All in all I was truly blown away at the gift this man was given years ago.
I even got to ask a question, I raised my hand, a mic was brought to me, I stood up & looked one very handsome John Edward face to face & I asked him how old was he when he knew he could do this, and does he ever get to turn it 'off' so to speak or is he always hearing things?
He told a story of being 15 & going to a psychic with his family.
He was disinterested but went upon insistence of his aunt.
He watched tv while one by one his family members were getting incredible readings.
He wasn't interested.
While he sat there, in his mind he kept thinking to himself, "If you're so psychic, then come ask me a question."
In the midst of the reading taking place as he was thinking that, the psychic woman pops her head out of the room & says "John, did you want to ask me something?"
He was shocked but didn't show it.
"No." he said.
"You sure?" she asked.
"Yep, I'm sure." he said.
He continued to watch tv until the readings of his family were finished & his aunt, came out & INSISTED he go in & be read.
He didn't want to.
His aunt wouldn't take no for an answer.
He was read... he was skeptical...
The psychic said he was gifted.
He didn't believe her.
He immersed himself in books having anything to do with this business of the supernatural.
Reading page after page of what was 'normal' to him, asking his friends at school if it was normal for them too? Didn't they have things like this happen to them? Couldn't they do this & that?
They couldn't.
He knew then that he was different.
He started to take his gift seriously.
22 years later, he's here with us reading our families.
He's happy.
"And do I ever get to turn it off?" he asks "No, not so much turn it off but shut down for periods of time here & there..." but he's always being a medium even when he doesn't think he is. He can't help it, he said, it's just who he is now.
After me, another woman had a question.
She wanted to know if someone dies at a certain age, is that the age of their spirit on the other side? Like, if she has a child who dies at 2, is that spirit forever a 2 year old?
John said that, once passed he believes a spiritual energy is the age that they were at their happiest, an age they were most comfortable at. His mother, for instance, died later in life, but when she comes through to him, she's in her 20's. He didn't know it was her at first because he was expecting to see the woman whom he'd last seen before she passed.
If that's the case, when I come through some day, I'm pretty sure I'll come through in my 30's, because I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now.
*smile*
After taking a few more questions, he said he'd like to thank us all for spending our Saturday afternoon with him and he'd like us to all take away one thing from today's events:
Communicate, Appreciate & Validate our loved ones here in the physical world,
before a medium like him has to do it for us.
In a word, he was;
Amazing.
Thank you John Edward for such a fantastic afternoon of enlightenment.
It is one experience I won't soon forget.
we both were amazed at the scale of his fans, even in a smaller venue such as
Boston's Radisson Hotel.
While waiting in line I met a wonderful woman... care to guess her name?
No?
Ok... I'll tell you.
Her name was Amy Elizabeth, and she was a Leo.
Weird?
Yes, but in a fantastic way.
Amy had lost her Mom years ago & was hoping to connect with her.
Secretly, I started hoping for her too.
She sat with me & Kristen, in fact I had her sit in between us just in case we got called on, we'd all stand up as a group & maybe that would hold a better chance for her to potentially get read.
It was a shot, it couldn't hurt.
The event was being held in one of their ballrooms,
a room that held potentially up to 500 people but if I were to guess,
there were maybe slightly less than that once we all found our way inside
& found our seats.
They had a table set up with tons of pitchers of ice water & plastic cups.
The line was long & hot, slowly moving everyone through stairways and
narrow hallways that, if you were claustrophobic, must have sucked,
and finally one cluster at a time, we squished like sardine's
into little elevators that took us
all up to the 6th floor.
They took half of our tickets & returned the stubs in the event that anyone needed to leave the room to use the bathroom, you would need that stub to get back in, no exceptions.
Done.
Stub in pocket.
Thank you very much!
I made my way into the room, found an end seat along the right hand side
next to the water table & about half way back from the front.
A perfect spot.
They had two employees of the John Edward's team with mic's testing to be sure the sound was correct & making sure everyone had found a seat & was ready to begin.
We had, and we were.
Of the two, there was a man & a woman, although I suspect the possessing more feminine qualities than the woman.
If I were a gambling woman, I'd bet the bank that this boy was gay...
Fabulously, wonderfully, outrageously gay, because I love gay men and they always have a way of making me smile just a little bigger & laugh just a little louder.
He did both.
He got up on stage & warmed us up & then explained to us the rules.
"When talking into the mic..." he said "Don't .... *..... *.....* this because ....* .....* hard ....* .... hear you."
(moving the mic around from left to right to prove his point,
we only heard half of what he said.)
"You need to keep the mic right here at your mouth so that John can hear what it is you're asking him, ok?"
Yes, ok.
Next, the rest of the rules were to follow;
"No flash photography, so if any of you need to take a picture, you can take one now!"
(he posed with a sparkling smile & a whirl)
We all laughed.
" There will be no audio and/or video recording,
and No this event is not being recorded for T.V., do you see any cameras set up? Trust me, John's camera crew isn't that little OR that fast. *laughing* And I'm pretty sure there aren't any hidden cameras, at least I hope there aren't!"
More laughter.
Ok, so once the seminar starts,
there will be no leaving the room to use the bathroom
so if you have to go I suggest you go now..."
A dozen or so of us get up & do exactly that.
(myself included)
The seminar is scheduled to run from 2pm till 4:30 pm.
He actually ran from 2 till a little after 5pm.
Amazing.
He came out onto the stage, everyone clapped & there was a smile across every face in there.
Well, the faces I could see anyway.
I would imagine that it's always exciting to see someone like him in person, whether it's your first time (like me) or your fifth.
He began with saying hi to all of us & explaining a few things that always happen at every show.
Everyone, whether they think they will or not, develops 'Psychic Amnesia', which means that when/if he calls on us to remember something... we won't.
Something that, to everyone else in the room seems like 'OMG DUH, IF THAT WAS ME OF COURSE I'D KNOW IT WAS ME', but to whoever it's meant for, it just sits in the air, waiting to be claimed.
Also, if he talks about someone 'above' us, don't look up, they're not literally floating over your heads, he simply means 'older' than us.
A contemporary to our side, is a sibling or cousin or friend, someone of the same age.
Someone who is 'below' us, would be someone younger, a child, a child of a friend, a younger someone... and again, no they are not below us so don't check under your chairs.
*Laughter*
Believe me, it's happened before, he says.
He starts talking a little about what he does and how he starts & everyone seems to be getting very excited at the prospect of witnessing him first hand at his amazing gift.
He stands completely still & is just quietly breathing for a minute or two... then he looks up & says;
"I'm being pulled over here" he points to the opposite side of the room from me, nearly in the identical location as me.
He had a man coming through who died from blunt force trauma suddenly.
It wasn't expected.
He's trying to reach his wife.
She was the mother of his two children & pregnant with their third, when he suddenly passed.
She was there with her mom & a few family members.
It took her a while to make the connection,
(psychic amnesia)
but once she did, the tears started flowing.
Poor thing, it was amazing to see this connection take place for her but it was sad too.
It makes you realize that she hasn't had any connection with her husband in nearly four years.
Her baby is 3 & a half.
John said that he wants her to know he's watching her always.
He's proud of how she's raising their kids, and his last one, a daughter, is a spitfire!
To be careful, because she came complete with a bag of tricks & is planning on keeping mom on her TOES!
Also, he said, he asked her PLEASE not to let anyone do that whole "Aww poor thing, she never knew her father" to her.
It's negative energy when people do that & this poor little girl is going to be bombarded with negativity every time someone mentions Dad & he does not want that for her.
He asked that when someone attempts that 'Awww' moment, to simply smile & say, "She's doing great!"
She had tears streaming down her cheeks.
Most of us were tearing up.
You couldn't not.
Next he is being called to the back of my section, to a man.
He lost his parents.
They both stood up, he started to read the man at first &
then shifts his attention suddenly to the woman.
"I have someone who is coming through who dies from an accidental gunshot"
She is visibly starting to choke up.
"He telling me to tell you he's so sorry. He didn't mean to do it, it was an accident."
She had seen her child's father accidentally shoot & kill himself in front of their 1 year old.
She went on to marry & have two other children, but that 1 year old, is now 15.
She begins to cry.
"I'm mad at him!" she says.
John smiles at her & says, "No you're not, he knows you're not."
She begins sobbing.
"No, I'm not..." she says through tears. "I just wish our son could've known him, I miss him"
And so, the seminar was well underway, each family making a connection before our eyes to the point that everyone, including my skeptical friend Kristen, was admitting to having the hairs on her neck stand up a few times from things John hit on that you can't pull out of thin air. "He's the real deal." she said to me.
Towards the end, he calls toward the back of my section again & says the following:
"Ok guys, this is really graphic, and I apologize but I gotta give it as I get it ok?"
We were all in agreement that it was ok.
"Someone passes by way of a murder, and is found dismembered & in a freezer."
NOT a common thing.
Not like lung cancer.
Not like a heart attack.
Not like a car accident.
This was VERY SPECIFIC.
This was one of those "OMG IF THAT WERE ME I'D KNOW IMMEDIATELY!" moments.
Two words:
Psychic Amnesia.
Nobody stood up.
Nobody claimed this.
Nobody knew what he was getting at.
John says:
"This is one of those moments where, I look like I'm standing here patiently waiting but inside I'm thinking 'MY GOD, WHO IS THAT OUT OF IT THAT THEY CAN'T CONNECT A BODY IN PIECES IN A FREEZER?!?' kind of thing..."
Nervous laughter breaks out around the room.
More silence...
...until suddenly,
a man raised his hand & a mic was brought to him.
He says:
"I don't know if this is a connection but, I got a cousin in jail right now who did that."
"Who did what?" John asks.
"Who murdered someone." he says.
John says, "Did he murder them in that way?"
"What?" the guy asks.
"Was the person he murdered found in pieces in a freezer?" John asks slightly horrified that he had to repeat such a thing again...
"Yeah." the man says.
The whole room is silent.
"Ok then," John says. "Welcome to your reading..."
It was his father coming through & using that very specific detail
as his way to connect to his son.
Something that he figured was far too unique NOT to recognize and would be a slam dunk.
It was, even though it may have taken a little longer than expected.
The reading continued... the man, although slightly embarrassed that he A. didn't pick up on such a thing right away, and B. is related to a murderer,
was really glad to have heard from his father.
Then John is being pulled up to the front of the room, opposite side as us, and hits the nail on the head with one family whose mother Helen came through.
Helen was a force to recon with.
This reading was the longest of the night, lasting nearly 30 minutes.
Helen had alot to say, her family in attendance was HUGE
(nearly a dozen people or so)
and everyone connected with EVERY THING JOHN SAID!
Things he described in their house (in the basement)
a cuckoo clock that no longer worked (in the basement)
stopped at a specific time that should mean something to them.
It did.
It was the time of their Mother's passing.
Amaxing.
Then there was a huge sticker of scooby doo stuck to a glass storm door
(shocker, in the basement)
Things that can't be random, were far too unique to this particular family to be coincidence,
also... all in their basement.
I think I speak for everyone when I started to jokingly think inside my head that it's a wonder that dismembered frozen body wasn't also found, in their basement.
I know, not funny, but it's how my mind works... what can I say.
All in all I was truly blown away at the gift this man was given years ago.
I even got to ask a question, I raised my hand, a mic was brought to me, I stood up & looked one very handsome John Edward face to face & I asked him how old was he when he knew he could do this, and does he ever get to turn it 'off' so to speak or is he always hearing things?
He told a story of being 15 & going to a psychic with his family.
He was disinterested but went upon insistence of his aunt.
He watched tv while one by one his family members were getting incredible readings.
He wasn't interested.
While he sat there, in his mind he kept thinking to himself, "If you're so psychic, then come ask me a question."
In the midst of the reading taking place as he was thinking that, the psychic woman pops her head out of the room & says "John, did you want to ask me something?"
He was shocked but didn't show it.
"No." he said.
"You sure?" she asked.
"Yep, I'm sure." he said.
He continued to watch tv until the readings of his family were finished & his aunt, came out & INSISTED he go in & be read.
He didn't want to.
His aunt wouldn't take no for an answer.
He was read... he was skeptical...
The psychic said he was gifted.
He didn't believe her.
He immersed himself in books having anything to do with this business of the supernatural.
Reading page after page of what was 'normal' to him, asking his friends at school if it was normal for them too? Didn't they have things like this happen to them? Couldn't they do this & that?
They couldn't.
He knew then that he was different.
He started to take his gift seriously.
22 years later, he's here with us reading our families.
He's happy.
"And do I ever get to turn it off?" he asks "No, not so much turn it off but shut down for periods of time here & there..." but he's always being a medium even when he doesn't think he is. He can't help it, he said, it's just who he is now.
After me, another woman had a question.
She wanted to know if someone dies at a certain age, is that the age of their spirit on the other side? Like, if she has a child who dies at 2, is that spirit forever a 2 year old?
John said that, once passed he believes a spiritual energy is the age that they were at their happiest, an age they were most comfortable at. His mother, for instance, died later in life, but when she comes through to him, she's in her 20's. He didn't know it was her at first because he was expecting to see the woman whom he'd last seen before she passed.
If that's the case, when I come through some day, I'm pretty sure I'll come through in my 30's, because I don't think I've ever been happier than I am right now.
*smile*
After taking a few more questions, he said he'd like to thank us all for spending our Saturday afternoon with him and he'd like us to all take away one thing from today's events:
Communicate, Appreciate & Validate our loved ones here in the physical world,
before a medium like him has to do it for us.
In a word, he was;
Amazing.
Thank you John Edward for such a fantastic afternoon of enlightenment.
It is one experience I won't soon forget.
Saturday, April 28, 2007
Guest Post by Auntie Jen
Hello Everyone, this is Ruby's Auntie Jen, trying to post some pictures for Amy. We took these when my son Mikhail and I went to visit Amy, Ruby and Bear. Doesn't Miss Ruby look like a superstar in her shades?
Up close and personal with Miss Ruby.
Hopefully Amy will be able to post pictures soon, but these should keep the masses happy for now!! ;-)
"You Don't?!?"
So, recently things have been a little hectic around here. First off, Ruby is doing GREAT! No worries there. Her & Bear are dancing their way through life & loving every single minute of it, thanks to Elliot Yamin, my kids new favorite song is ' MOVIN' ON ', how cute is that? Repeat play is a beautiful thing! Ok so if Ruby & Bear are great, then you can assume that the 'hectic' falls on my side of the tracks. Without going into much detail, I've been having lower right abdominal sharp shooting pains that come & go. Several exams & a series of ultrasounds later (ask me about that fun internal ultrasound, good times... NOT!) Anyhoo... so after all is said & done I had to hound my Dr's office for the results, those damn HIPA rules mean that ONLY my doctor can tell me the results & they usually refuse to do so on the phone. Note I said 'usually'. Let's just say that I can be pretty persistant when I want something.
Turns out, I have a twisted right ovary with a left ovary showing signs of calcification. What does that mean? Not a clue about the left one but they said it's normal & nothing to worry about, ok, fine. The twisted right ovary, basically they wanted me in asap to check it out again, via means of ANOTHER physical exam. I politely told her that 'thanks, but not so much. You & I BOTH know that because of my weight, you won't find anything, I mean afterall, isn't it the reason you sent me for the ultrasounds to begin with?" A very surprised 'Well, yes but..."
"Ok then, well thanks but I'll pass on being poked & proded like a roast before dinner. I'll call you on Monday & schedule something for next week."
"But Amy, we really need to see you today, now..." she said.
"Why?" I asked, "You plan on admitting me to the hospital for surgery today?"
"Well, no but..."
"Ok then, look, I understand that a twisted ovary means that the blood suppy to said ovary is compromised & I risk losing it. Guess what, I don't really care. I don't plan on ever having bio kids, ever. So If I lose an ovary, so be it. Also, keep in mind how LONG AGO I came to you WITH this pain & YOU put me off... 'oh it's probably nothing, maybe it was something you ate, maybe it's cuz of you doing your MS shots in your stomache... etc blah blah blah. So, if you can put me off for WEEKS then I can certainly put YOU off until Monday."
Of all of what I just told her, all she heard was, 'I don't plan on ever having bio kids..."
Cuz her response to me after that whole schpeel was " You don't?!?"
You know, what is wrong with women not just accepting other women's decisions in life to either HAVE bio children, or Adopt their children or go through in-vitro, etc...
My body, my life, my decision.
I said "No, I don't."
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Not that it's anyone's business but I believe I've told you before how I do NOT want to pass on my MS to anyone knowingly, period. Not to mention that the chances of my condition going heavily DOWNHILL after having given birth is pretty much a done deal should that happen. Thus, no bio kids. Oh, and by the way, have you forgotten that I already am the luckiest Momma ever with the worlds most beautiful daughter? Remember Ruby?"
Her: "Yes Amy, I remember... Ruby is a beautiful little girl..."
Me: "Damn skippy she is & you know what else she is? She's a little girl who DESERVES to have her MOTHER for as long as humanly possible in the best shape I can be, so avoiding anything that might make my MS take a turn for the worst becomes not just for me but MORE APPROPRIATELY FOR HER! Ok?" (in other words, totally wasn't your business to question my decisions in the first place & now I'm going to be hanging up...)
Can you believe that?
So, anyway... I call them back on Monday & take it from there.
It's not life threatening so I'll keep you all posted as to what the next step is BUT for right now, I have a cute little dancing Ruby who needs breakfast & I want to enjoy my morning with her because soon I'm headed out with my friend Kristen to Boston to go see this guy in person. In a very intimate small group setting for two & a half hours, CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT!
I'll miss Ruby but I know that she's in the best hands next to mine, those of her Nonno & Nannie! She'll have just as much fun this afternoon as I will, it's a good Saturday for sure!
Oh, and to those of you craving new pics, I've tried over and over and over to post some of the cutest images of my girl, but blogger is a female for sure, she's bitchy & WILL NOT LET ME POST ONE PIC! At least she hasn't thus far. I keep trying & when it finally let's me do so, you all will be the first to know! PROMISE!
Everyone have a great weekend & more later about John Edward & the twisted ovary!
Turns out, I have a twisted right ovary with a left ovary showing signs of calcification. What does that mean? Not a clue about the left one but they said it's normal & nothing to worry about, ok, fine. The twisted right ovary, basically they wanted me in asap to check it out again, via means of ANOTHER physical exam. I politely told her that 'thanks, but not so much. You & I BOTH know that because of my weight, you won't find anything, I mean afterall, isn't it the reason you sent me for the ultrasounds to begin with?" A very surprised 'Well, yes but..."
"Ok then, well thanks but I'll pass on being poked & proded like a roast before dinner. I'll call you on Monday & schedule something for next week."
"But Amy, we really need to see you today, now..." she said.
"Why?" I asked, "You plan on admitting me to the hospital for surgery today?"
"Well, no but..."
"Ok then, look, I understand that a twisted ovary means that the blood suppy to said ovary is compromised & I risk losing it. Guess what, I don't really care. I don't plan on ever having bio kids, ever. So If I lose an ovary, so be it. Also, keep in mind how LONG AGO I came to you WITH this pain & YOU put me off... 'oh it's probably nothing, maybe it was something you ate, maybe it's cuz of you doing your MS shots in your stomache... etc blah blah blah. So, if you can put me off for WEEKS then I can certainly put YOU off until Monday."
Of all of what I just told her, all she heard was, 'I don't plan on ever having bio kids..."
Cuz her response to me after that whole schpeel was " You don't?!?"
You know, what is wrong with women not just accepting other women's decisions in life to either HAVE bio children, or Adopt their children or go through in-vitro, etc...
My body, my life, my decision.
I said "No, I don't."
Her: "Why?"
Me: "Not that it's anyone's business but I believe I've told you before how I do NOT want to pass on my MS to anyone knowingly, period. Not to mention that the chances of my condition going heavily DOWNHILL after having given birth is pretty much a done deal should that happen. Thus, no bio kids. Oh, and by the way, have you forgotten that I already am the luckiest Momma ever with the worlds most beautiful daughter? Remember Ruby?"
Her: "Yes Amy, I remember... Ruby is a beautiful little girl..."
Me: "Damn skippy she is & you know what else she is? She's a little girl who DESERVES to have her MOTHER for as long as humanly possible in the best shape I can be, so avoiding anything that might make my MS take a turn for the worst becomes not just for me but MORE APPROPRIATELY FOR HER! Ok?" (in other words, totally wasn't your business to question my decisions in the first place & now I'm going to be hanging up...)
Can you believe that?
So, anyway... I call them back on Monday & take it from there.
It's not life threatening so I'll keep you all posted as to what the next step is BUT for right now, I have a cute little dancing Ruby who needs breakfast & I want to enjoy my morning with her because soon I'm headed out with my friend Kristen to Boston to go see this guy in person. In a very intimate small group setting for two & a half hours, CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT!
I'll miss Ruby but I know that she's in the best hands next to mine, those of her Nonno & Nannie! She'll have just as much fun this afternoon as I will, it's a good Saturday for sure!
Oh, and to those of you craving new pics, I've tried over and over and over to post some of the cutest images of my girl, but blogger is a female for sure, she's bitchy & WILL NOT LET ME POST ONE PIC! At least she hasn't thus far. I keep trying & when it finally let's me do so, you all will be the first to know! PROMISE!
Everyone have a great weekend & more later about John Edward & the twisted ovary!
Wednesday, April 18, 2007
"Momma So Sorry..."
Yesterday started out like any other day for us.
Breakfast, fun time with Nannie (her grandmother), changed a poopie 'pull up' JOY OF JOYS! (not) and then time to pick out the days outfit, which Ruby has always thoroughly enjoyed.
Not so much today.
Well, the picking out of the outfit wasn't the problem, we went with her fun green Christmas play dress with 'FUN PANTS' under it & a green bow & her bracelet.
No biggie.
But, why? Won't? The? Closet? Door? Shut?
*trying to shut the door*
Nothing, hmmm something must be stuck.
That's weird, no dresses or clothing stuck at the bottom?
*trying once more, harder this time, to actually shut it*
It's not shutting... I wonder what's stuck?
Ruby's Fingers.
OH MY GOD I'M THE WORST MOTHER ON THE PLANET I'VE JUST SMASHED MY LITTLE GIRLS FINGERS IN THE DOOR SO TIGHT, TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Immediately grabbed my child who, has yet to cry but is doing that, 'inhale' that takes forever and then waiting even longer still, to actually scream out in pain, fell to my knees with her in my arms, wrapped myself completely around her sobbing into her beautiful thick head of black hair and just kept saying over and over and over,
"I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY BABY,
MOMMA DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT TO YOU MY LOVE,
OMG I'M SO SORRY,
MOMMA MADE A BOO BOO!
I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY, I'M SO SORRY!"
etc...
Spending the better part of 30 minutes all curled up with one another
I finally got her calmed down enough to where I could look at her little fingers.
Her right hand, ring & middle fingers were in the JAM part of the door, not the part closer to the doorknob, but the part at the BACK THAT PINCHES LIKE HELL!
I felt so HORRIBLE ALL DAY BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID MISTAKE!
Her fingers were swollen to high heaven & it took the skin off in a few places,
I know, I'm feeling sad again just writing about it for you all...
So, I had a Dr. apt that morning anyway for myself & since Ruby & I see the same doctor, I told her I was going to bring her with me to my appointment so that Tina (our Dr.'s name) could see her pretty bow & dress & fun pants, and oh yeah, maybe her fingers too.
Upon hearing this my daughter immediately balled her right hand into a fist & hid it inside the sleeve of her dress. Never to come out again.
Ok, we'll deal with the hand thing when we get there... she's still hurting, her fingers were not only swollen to high heaven, but were hot as blazes so I know she's not about to let me play patty cake with her, ya know.
So we get in the car & head over to the Dr.'s and I have my exam (more about what mine was all about later but let's say it's gonna be followed up with an ultrasound next Thursday, and NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!)
Anyhoo, Tina took a look at Ruby's fingers & said that nothing was broken & that maybe I could just either give her some Tylenol or Motrin for the pain, which I did when we got home.
I felt like shit ALL DAY and it was obvious to anyone seeing me that I'd spent all morning sobbing, and not just 'any' cry, but the 'UGLY' cry, the kind you never want anyone else to ever see you doing, THAT kinda cry!
I digress...
We get home & Ruby's back in good spirits & the Motrin got her relaxed enough to take a snooze on the couch & I got to catch up on some blogs I had been meaning to read.
After those, I went to check on her on the couch & she was slowly waking up.
She looked at me & smiled & said "Hi Momma, How'a'yooo?"
I just started crying again.
Here she is, this little innocent beautiful child left by the grace of God in my care and I hurt her little fingers more than I can even imagine it must have hurt and rather than see me & start talking about the 'incident with the door', she smiles and says hi & asks how I am.
I just love her more than words can do the feeling justice.
I smiled back through tears & said, "I'm fine baby, how are you?"
She thinks for a second... and says;
"I ok Momma, shut a fingers in a door, momma a boo boo, Ruby no cry, Momma so sorry."
I know, I know... me too.
*smiling through tears again*
I don't know what I did right in my life to deserve this beautiful child as my daughter,
but I'm sure glad that she's here & forgiving.
Breakfast, fun time with Nannie (her grandmother), changed a poopie 'pull up' JOY OF JOYS! (not) and then time to pick out the days outfit, which Ruby has always thoroughly enjoyed.
Not so much today.
Well, the picking out of the outfit wasn't the problem, we went with her fun green Christmas play dress with 'FUN PANTS' under it & a green bow & her bracelet.
No biggie.
But, why? Won't? The? Closet? Door? Shut?
*trying to shut the door*
Nothing, hmmm something must be stuck.
That's weird, no dresses or clothing stuck at the bottom?
*trying once more, harder this time, to actually shut it*
It's not shutting... I wonder what's stuck?
Ruby's Fingers.
OH MY GOD I'M THE WORST MOTHER ON THE PLANET I'VE JUST SMASHED MY LITTLE GIRLS FINGERS IN THE DOOR SO TIGHT, TWICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Immediately grabbed my child who, has yet to cry but is doing that, 'inhale' that takes forever and then waiting even longer still, to actually scream out in pain, fell to my knees with her in my arms, wrapped myself completely around her sobbing into her beautiful thick head of black hair and just kept saying over and over and over,
"I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY BABY,
MOMMA DIDN'T MEAN TO DO THAT TO YOU MY LOVE,
OMG I'M SO SORRY,
MOMMA MADE A BOO BOO!
I'M SO SORRY!
I'M SO SORRY!
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABY, I'M SO SORRY!"
etc...
Spending the better part of 30 minutes all curled up with one another
I finally got her calmed down enough to where I could look at her little fingers.
Her right hand, ring & middle fingers were in the JAM part of the door, not the part closer to the doorknob, but the part at the BACK THAT PINCHES LIKE HELL!
I felt so HORRIBLE ALL DAY BECAUSE OF THAT STUPID MISTAKE!
Her fingers were swollen to high heaven & it took the skin off in a few places,
I know, I'm feeling sad again just writing about it for you all...
So, I had a Dr. apt that morning anyway for myself & since Ruby & I see the same doctor, I told her I was going to bring her with me to my appointment so that Tina (our Dr.'s name) could see her pretty bow & dress & fun pants, and oh yeah, maybe her fingers too.
Upon hearing this my daughter immediately balled her right hand into a fist & hid it inside the sleeve of her dress. Never to come out again.
Ok, we'll deal with the hand thing when we get there... she's still hurting, her fingers were not only swollen to high heaven, but were hot as blazes so I know she's not about to let me play patty cake with her, ya know.
So we get in the car & head over to the Dr.'s and I have my exam (more about what mine was all about later but let's say it's gonna be followed up with an ultrasound next Thursday, and NO I'M NOT PREGNANT!)
Anyhoo, Tina took a look at Ruby's fingers & said that nothing was broken & that maybe I could just either give her some Tylenol or Motrin for the pain, which I did when we got home.
I felt like shit ALL DAY and it was obvious to anyone seeing me that I'd spent all morning sobbing, and not just 'any' cry, but the 'UGLY' cry, the kind you never want anyone else to ever see you doing, THAT kinda cry!
I digress...
We get home & Ruby's back in good spirits & the Motrin got her relaxed enough to take a snooze on the couch & I got to catch up on some blogs I had been meaning to read.
After those, I went to check on her on the couch & she was slowly waking up.
She looked at me & smiled & said "Hi Momma, How'a'yooo?"
I just started crying again.
Here she is, this little innocent beautiful child left by the grace of God in my care and I hurt her little fingers more than I can even imagine it must have hurt and rather than see me & start talking about the 'incident with the door', she smiles and says hi & asks how I am.
I just love her more than words can do the feeling justice.
I smiled back through tears & said, "I'm fine baby, how are you?"
She thinks for a second... and says;
"I ok Momma, shut a fingers in a door, momma a boo boo, Ruby no cry, Momma so sorry."
I know, I know... me too.
*smiling through tears again*
I don't know what I did right in my life to deserve this beautiful child as my daughter,
but I'm sure glad that she's here & forgiving.
Sunday, April 15, 2007
A Letter To My Daughter...
Dear Ruby,
As I sit here & type this you are happily playing around the house with your beloved friend Bear. It's amazing to me how much you're growing right before my eyes. Last night, for instance, was a big night in our house as you spent your first night in a big girl bed! (Momma's old day bed from my high school days, talk about some memories...) I was proud that you were ready, (secretly I wanted you to still be my baby in the crib...), I was nervous as hell that you'd 'fall out', (you never did...), and I heard you wake up happily this morning proclaiming, "I up Momma! Ruby a big girl! I in a big girl bed!". Baby, when you say such amazing things to me over the monitor, it makes my eyes well up with tears, bittersweet tears, filled with both joy & sorrow. Joy that my girl truly is growing up, and sorrow that my days with a 'baby' are fast dissolving. It's true what other parents say that most 'parents to-be' disregard as I did... the old "it goes by so fast, they'll be grown before you know it...etc". I didn't believe it. I should have listened with my heart to that one, because right now, as the little girl I call Ruby is playing independently all around the house, anywhere but where I am because she no longer needs me as much as she once did, I feel my heartstrings, (be they red or any other color for that matter...) being pulled with a fierceness that I can't make stop. It's part of the pangs of parenthood I suppose... watching your baby become a little girl. You are a little wonder in my eyes. How you not only can speak English but Italian as well, blows me away! You are the best little sponge when it comes to learning new information, and the other night at dinner when you, all of your own doing, said in perfect pronunciation to everyone at the table, "Momma, Nonno bevi vino!"- (Momma, Nonno's drinking wine!) we all stopped & looked at each other in amazement. You are no longer that little wriggly girl who just babbled, drooled, couldn't crawl or walk, or take a step. No, you are not that baby any longer. Now, you are this big beautiful smart girl who never ceases to blow me away with what you've learned. You blasted through crawling like a pro only to graduate to cruising, then walking and now you can out run even me! You have full on conversations in two languages with your friend Bear and make a mean invisible tea for your splendid tea parties, which, by the way, is still my favorite invite to get! You no longer wear diapers, but have graduated to 'pull ups' and can sit on the potty, even though you don't quite yet feel ready to do anything on it, you are ready to sit & wait. And if you can sit & wait, then I can too. Take your time baby, don't grow up too fast on Momma, ok? I still need to hear you sometimes say, "Momma, help pwease?" and if you don't mind, could you finish it off with "Wuv'oo Momma!"
Thanks baby girl... I love you to the moon & back and the sun & back and the stars & back,
and to China & back!
Always & Forever,
-Momma.
All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another. ~Anatole France
Tuesday, April 10, 2007
It Was Bound To Happen...
...I knew it would, I just didn't know when.
For as long as I can remember, I've been surrounding myself with children, pretty much since the age of 13. During all those days, weeks, months, years, etc... I've become pretty good at self censoring myself & perfected 'toddler code speak'.
Things that one would NOT want to say in front of their child for fear of having it repeated, I was darn good at making sure not a cuss word escaped my mouth, ever.
Sure we all have those times when we slip, it happens... after all, we're only human, right?
I just never thought it would happen to ME!
I mean, this is ME we're talking about, the self proclaimed Nanny 911, but after tonight, make that Nanny 910 & 1/2.
It went a little something like this:
Uncle Steve was over as he is every Tuesday, and I was sharing a 'cute' but funny story of a conversation that took place earlier this morning between myself & Ruby.
You see, Ruby LOVES when 'Uncle Steve Coming...?!'.
So, silly me, said to her this morning, BRIGHT & EARLY I MIGHT ADD,
" Hey Ruby, do you know what today is?"
Her eyes light up but you can actually SEE her thinking this one through for the proper answer... then she smiles & finally replies:
"UNCLE STEVE COMING?!?!"
Proud in her ability to remember such things, I smiled & said;
"Yes baby, Uncle Steve's coming over tonight!"
Upon hearing this, Steve smiled.
I then proceeded to say to him,
"But I said this to her like, FIRST THING THIS MORNING, and then I realized that ALL DAY I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO HEAR HER ASK 'UNCLE STEVE COMING? UNCLE STEVE COMING?' I was like "OH CRAP!" cuz I knew I'd be hearing that question ALL DAY!
Not realizing that yes miss Ruby was not only still awake during this conversation but apparently listening INTENTLY to each & every syllable escape my lips, I hear (in a cookie monster'esque type growl)
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'
OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?@!#$%#$%
"Ruby, don't say that baby, say "Oh Mannnn!', ok?'
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (giggling)
"Oh Mannnnnnnnnnnn!'
"NO OH MAN MOMMA!... 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'" more giggling coupled with falling to the floor to roll around & repeat said word several more times.
OMG MY KID JUST SAID CRAP LIKE AN ANGRY FURRY BLUE COOKIE LOVIN' MONSTER, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?@!?
"Hey Ruby, listen to this, OHHHHHHH MAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!" (giggling in the sad hopes that perhaps she'll see that Momma's word is funny too & maybe she'll wanna try it out...)
*laughing* No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (louder this time & obviously more giggling.)
Picked up the phone, called Karen, "OMG Karen, you're never gonna believe what I just freakin' taught my kid!..."
"What?"
"Listen to this..."
"Hey Ruby, 'Ohhhhhhh Maannnnnnnnnnnnnn!'
No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
"OMG did your kid just say 'crap'?"
*hanging head in shame'
"Yes."
LAUGHING!
Sure, it's funny, of course it's funny, it's funny like a fart in a car but OMG MY KID NOT ONLY KNOWS THE WORD CRAP BUT GETS A KICK OUT OF SAYING IT LIKE TRUE BLUE MUPPET!
Oy Vey, I do believe that's Jewish for
OHHHHH CRAPPPPPPPPP!
*sigh*
For as long as I can remember, I've been surrounding myself with children, pretty much since the age of 13. During all those days, weeks, months, years, etc... I've become pretty good at self censoring myself & perfected 'toddler code speak'.
Things that one would NOT want to say in front of their child for fear of having it repeated, I was darn good at making sure not a cuss word escaped my mouth, ever.
Sure we all have those times when we slip, it happens... after all, we're only human, right?
I just never thought it would happen to ME!
I mean, this is ME we're talking about, the self proclaimed Nanny 911, but after tonight, make that Nanny 910 & 1/2.
It went a little something like this:
Uncle Steve was over as he is every Tuesday, and I was sharing a 'cute' but funny story of a conversation that took place earlier this morning between myself & Ruby.
You see, Ruby LOVES when 'Uncle Steve Coming...?!'.
So, silly me, said to her this morning, BRIGHT & EARLY I MIGHT ADD,
" Hey Ruby, do you know what today is?"
Her eyes light up but you can actually SEE her thinking this one through for the proper answer... then she smiles & finally replies:
"UNCLE STEVE COMING?!?!"
Proud in her ability to remember such things, I smiled & said;
"Yes baby, Uncle Steve's coming over tonight!"
Upon hearing this, Steve smiled.
I then proceeded to say to him,
"But I said this to her like, FIRST THING THIS MORNING, and then I realized that ALL DAY I WAS GOING TO HAVE TO HEAR HER ASK 'UNCLE STEVE COMING? UNCLE STEVE COMING?' I was like "OH CRAP!" cuz I knew I'd be hearing that question ALL DAY!
Not realizing that yes miss Ruby was not only still awake during this conversation but apparently listening INTENTLY to each & every syllable escape my lips, I hear (in a cookie monster'esque type growl)
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'
OMG WHAT HAVE I DONE?@!#$%#$%
"Ruby, don't say that baby, say "Oh Mannnn!', ok?'
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (giggling)
"Oh Mannnnnnnnnnnn!'
"NO OH MAN MOMMA!... 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!'" more giggling coupled with falling to the floor to roll around & repeat said word several more times.
OMG MY KID JUST SAID CRAP LIKE AN ANGRY FURRY BLUE COOKIE LOVIN' MONSTER, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH ME?!?@!?
"Hey Ruby, listen to this, OHHHHHHH MAAAAANNNNNNNNN!!" (giggling in the sad hopes that perhaps she'll see that Momma's word is funny too & maybe she'll wanna try it out...)
*laughing* No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' (louder this time & obviously more giggling.)
Picked up the phone, called Karen, "OMG Karen, you're never gonna believe what I just freakin' taught my kid!..."
"What?"
"Listen to this..."
"Hey Ruby, 'Ohhhhhhh Maannnnnnnnnnnnnn!'
No 'MAN' Momma, 'CRRRRRAAAAAAAAAPPPPPP!' *laughing*
"OMG did your kid just say 'crap'?"
*hanging head in shame'
"Yes."
LAUGHING!
Sure, it's funny, of course it's funny, it's funny like a fart in a car but OMG MY KID NOT ONLY KNOWS THE WORD CRAP BUT GETS A KICK OUT OF SAYING IT LIKE TRUE BLUE MUPPET!
Oy Vey, I do believe that's Jewish for
OHHHHH CRAPPPPPPPPP!
*sigh*
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