Monday, November 20, 2006

One year since 'got'cha'...

(a letter to my daughter on our special day...)


Dear Ruby,

It's hard to believe we've been Ruby & Momma for a solid year now when really,
it feels like a lifetime, since before I knew you in my life, you lived in my heart.

While Momma was in China waiting to see your precious face in person, I knew I had to figure out a way to mark that special first day of ours in a very unique way. After much thought, Momma decided to mark the day with a special little gift... but not just any gift, one from your place of birth, from China. Sure I knew I could just as easily buy a bunch of little things from the states & give you a new little gift every year but it wouldn't be the same, and I knew it.

So, while at the Cloisonne place in Beijing, I purchased a bag full of little Christmas tree ornaments, all very precious, all unique, all from China and all just like you, one of a kinds. I knew that every year, on the anniversary of our 'got'cha' day, I'd let you reach into that bag full of little red boxes & take one out. Then you'd carefully open it as I watched & whatever ornament was inside, was to be our newest addition to our Christmas tree that year.

There were 33 ornaments originally. (in the excitement of arriving home that first night way back on Nov 30th, 2005... family members got some & that's ok.) I have since had friends get a few more here & there & now Momma only needs six more to make our original 33 back. Momma has some very wonderful kind friends who she can ask to bring some back for us when they travel to China, so please don't worry. I'll find a way to get those last six ornaments baby girl... I promise!

Oh, and why 33? Because that's the number of years that Momma had to wait to find you.

My hope is that someday, when you've opened all 33 ornaments, and they then adorn your Christmas tree in your home, that just the mere sight of them all, makes you smile.
And seeing all 33 of them helps to bring back memories of each & every 'got'cha' day that we've celebrated together since our very first one.

I love you so much baby, to the moon & back, and the sun & back, and the stars & back and to China & back!

Happy Got'cha Day baby, you're my living breathing dream come true!

Love always,

-Momma
XoXoXoXoXo

ps. A few photos from the morning of our first got'cha anniversary... let the traditions begin!

Got'cha Day Ornaments:
Nov 20th, 2005 (teapot)
Nov 20th, 2006 (Navy heart w/butterfly)
...to be continued.

Sunday, November 19, 2006

101 'Amy'isms', just because... (get some tea, it's a good read)

1. I'm obsessed with tweezing hairs, period. Regardless of where they are, however the peskiest of them all are the random face/neck/chin hairs. GOD HAS A SENSE OF HUMOR!

2. I've been known to offer to tweeze someone else's random hair upon noticing it, drives people nuts & they think I'm insane. (they're probably right)

3. I love the smell of 'Sexy For Him' by Victoria's Secret... good God all mighty, DROOL CITY!

4. I will only burn Yankee Candles & usually only prefer the home baked goodies types of scents... although my fav is Macintosh.

5. Mac's are also my computer of choice.

6. I talk way too much, I should probably listen more.

7. I still giggle like a silly person whenever I see Ruby's name on anything... (ie: prescriptions, social security card, early intervention paperwork, etc...) just LOVE seeing it in PRINT!

8. Love the smell of baby powder but only when freshly sprinkled on freshly clean baby toosh... (C'MON LITTLE NUTTER, AUNTIE WANTS TO CHANGE A TEENIE DIAPER!)

9. I love to read but ironically enough have a difficult time keeping up with my book club.

10. I knit, but only scarves & only the knit stitch.

11. I sculpt with polymer clay & have been known to make a Christmas ornament or two.

12. I see (but mostly hear) dead people... no lie. It's mainly my own relatives but have been known to occasionally hear from someone who has passed while I'm in the presence of their living relatives. Weird things get told to me, and as I know this is a gift to be able to hear these things, in my heart I know that I must relay them to whoever they're for. Things may not make sense right away but eventually, everyone I've ever done this for has found validation in what was said. Of course, you start telling people you're hanging out with that their dead relatives are speaking to you and, well... things generally tend to get a tad bit weird. Understandably... & instantly whoever it is I'm speaking to, looks at me funny & wants to go home. LOL Hey, don't kill the messenger.

13. I type far too fast (as told to me by my friend Jen, little mister Nutter's Momma!)

14. I have tea & toast nearly every morning for breakfast.

15. I can count my closest friends on one hand but am beyond proud to have each & every one of them in my life.

16. I love my parents more than they know.

17. I sit & stare at Ruby at least once a day & wonder what I did right in this world to deserve her. I am in awe most days...

18. I love to laugh.

19. I tend to stay friends with ex's.

20. I still am close to & talk with my recent ex's mother... she's a doll.

21. I have MS, but MS doesn't have me.

22. I have a fantastic family who I'm blessed to still have around.

23. I miss my deceased relatives, but my Nonna is still here, she never left. Only physically. (CIAO NONNA! TI AMO TANTISSIMO PER SEMPRE!)

24. I love my TiVo & never watch shows when they're actually on, who the hell DOES that anymore anyways? Oops, I'm sorry, probably all you 'dial up'ers huh? MY BAD! LOL

25. I LOVE THE RED SOX & HATE THE YANKEES! (get over it)

26. I own two autographed photos of Jason Varitek #33 *DROOL*

27. Favorite tv shows are: Dexter, House, Desperate Housewives, The Class, How I Met You're Mother, Two & a Half Men, Men in Trees. (in no particular order)

28. I have a MEGA CRUSH on Hugh Laurie!!! (age tis' but a number!)

29. I HATE TO FLY! (yet I hopped several planes & trekked my ass to China & back... ah, the things we do for LOVE!)

30. I have been in love before.

31. I have never been married or engaged.

32. I drink a crapton of water every day.

33. Is the age I was when I first held my daughter in my arms.

34. Is how old I currently am even though most days I feel like a kid.

35. I've been a nanny for so long now that if I had to do something other than that as my profession, I don't know what I'd do!

36. I am always honest to everyone about everything. (that pisses some people off)

37. I make a mean risotto.

38. I actually love to cook anything & everything. I can bake & enjoy it from time to time but prefer cooking & rarely measure. I guess you could say I'm a chip off the old RR's block HOWEVER, she's clearly skinnier than me.

39. I show people how much I care about them through the meals I prepare. Food is love.

40. I love my back being rubbed, it rarely happens but when it does (thanks Karen) it's fantastic!

41. I love my friends more than they know.

42. I still get giddy whenever I buy a brand new box of Crayola's... mmmmm who doesn't love the smell of a fresh box of CRAYONS!

43. Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of GOT'CHA day for Ruby & Me... WOW.

44. Sometimes I think that it's odd how I don't mind at all putting my thoughts in such a public forum for anyone to read.

45. Every day I worry about Ruby's future.

46. Sunday's are my LAZY day. (I'm still in my pj's from last night & it's 5:33pm.)

47. I love getting snail mail, it makes me giddy. (letter writing is a lost art)

48. I don't wear perfume, only bath & body works warm vanilla sugar lotions & spray's & shampoo/conditioner etc...

49. If I were to wear perfume someday, it would be 'LIGHT BLUE' by Dolce & Gabbana.

50. I can't believe that in less time than it takes me to change Ruby's diaper I've just rattled off 50 things about myself, see, I told you... I talk too much & type too fast. hee hee

51. I need to lose more weight.

52. I miss those friends who have dropped by the wayside.

53. I still think of them from time to time.

54. I think my daughter has the most perfect hair on the planet.

55. I once started the process to undergo gastric bypass surgery, but changed my mind & decided to lose the weight the old fashioned way... with patience, discipline & hard work.
(didn't want to be some one's science project & get all hacked up, thanks but I'll pass.)

56. I wasn't as disciplined or hard working as I had hoped.

57. Sometimes, if I am left alone with my thoughts for too long, I start to cry because I realize that I am the only parent Ruby has & that scares me.

58. I love my little niece Isabella, she's a goddamned doll baby and she's walking now even though I haven't seen her in action yet. (I know she's diggin' those squeaky shoes I got her in China)

59. I used to have gel nails but got rid of them prior to adopting. Who has time?

60. I'm selfish when it comes to sleeping, I like my bed to MYSELF. (I can, however, share with my little doodle bug when she's sick & LOVE doing so.)

61. Sometimes at night before drifting off to sleep, I wonder who in the world is thinking of me at that exact moment? Maybe you...?

62. I hate politics & never once voted a day in my life. Sorry, I know it's a privilege however, I don't understand any of it & feel that it's my vote to make so until I understand what it is I'm voting for, never once will I mark down some one's name just because 'so & so' suggested I do so. Comprende?

63. I think most people are good, but I also think most people are two meltdowns away from crossing that proverbial line.

64. I love my glasses... I no longer like my face without them.

65. I wonder if I'll ever find love again & get married someday?

66. I wonder what questions Ruby will have for me when she can finally start articulating her thoughts better.

67. I am planning to take Ruby back to China when she turns 10. I think it is important that she see where she came from.

68. I love reading other adoptive families blogs.

69. I said a prayer the other night for Christi & Abbey's safe return home... God listened.
(one peek at her post about the bag-o-vomit during the flight back & you just KNOW GOD HAS to have a SENSE OF HUMOR!) Welcome home you two... glad you arrived safe & sound!

70. I CAN'T STAND GUACAMOLE! (bogus nasty green shit, BLECK!)

71. I no longer drink alcohol.

72. Is the year I was born, man I'm gettin' up there...

73. I used to drink alcohol every Saturday night out with the girls (and by girls I mean Jen & company...) and we'd be known for ordering RED DEATHS! (usually by the half dozen)

74. Sometimes mornings after a shot, I wake up with numb arms from the elbow's down.

75. I once woke up with useless arms altogether. Literally two hanging hunks of flesh. Didn't get them to move for over an hour... which normally I'd have been kewl with BUT I HAD TO PEE AND I HAD ON PJ'S WITH PANTS!

76. I now wear only NIGHTGOWNS to bed just because of that.

78. I miss Ebenezer... I wish he was still here with me physically. I need an Ebby hug.

79. I love both chocolate & bread but if I had to give one up for the rest of my life, chocolate would go.

80. My favorite number is 13... always has been. Guess it's an Italian thing.

81. I can speak Italian & hold my own with relatives... it's more than I can say for my genius of a brother. (sorry Adam, but you could still learn you know, it's never too late)

82. I would like to learn how to play piano someday.

83. Maybe Ruby & I will both take lessons together someday & give my mother's Steinway a reason for being downstairs other than for holding up picture frames.

84. I wish I remembered my Nanna. (my Mother's Mother.)

85. I wish I had her gift for playing piano by ear.

86. I hope I tell Ruby enough & share enough & document enough so that one day, when I'm no longer here, she'll have answers to things she wonders about.

87. My favorite sandwich is peanut butter & jelly.

88. I only buy all natural peanut butter; ingredients: peanuts & salt.

89. Less is more...

90. I HATE KNICK NACKS! (sorry Mom)

91. I doubt I'd ever be as brave as my friend Karen... I don't think I would've ever shaved my head. You're my hero woman.

92. I love that I can be privy to watching two of my closest friends go through their pregnancies especially since I'll never have biological children. Jen & Kristina, you both ROCK! Can't wait for little mister MAN & little mister NUTTER!

93. I'm generous to a fault, even with strangers.

94. I never wear socks, always barefoot or sandals. Only shoes/boots in winter when absolutely necessary.

95. I love the cold, hate the heat.

96. I wish I had the funds & the room to adopt once more.

97. I'd love to be a contestant on Deal or No Deal, yes, I said it... two reasons: 1. I'd give Howie Mandel a BIG ASS BEAR HUG! (gotta love a germophobe) and 2. I'D TELL THE BANKER TO BITE MY ASS! *grin* (& probably leave with .50 cents. LOL)

98. If I ever did get on that show & won any substantial amount of money, I'd give most of it to my parents & just save enough to get Ruby & I a newer, safer car.

99. I'm a VW girl & only drive stick shifts.

1oo. I know how to make homemade limoncello (thanks Dad!) but never once would drink it myself.

101. I would love for 101 other bloggers to take what I've done here right now & do it on their own blogs... it's pretty cathartic. For those of you who do choose to do it, just go with your thoughts. As you can see from mine, there was no real rhyme or reason to it, I just jotted things down as they came to me & honestly I could probably think of 101 more but really, for now... this is enough. =) Oh, and be sure to let me know if you've done 101'you ism's because you KNOW I'd love to check em'out.

-Amy

PS. If you haven't seen Vicious Circle (HBO SPECIAL) or the recently aired COMIC RELIEF 2006, OMFG WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? Seriously... in honor of my LOVE for a fellow MASSHOLE, I give you Dane Cook's RANDOM BITS'N'PIECES... ENJOY!

Belated Birthday Surprises...


...always a GOOD THING!

Alright, we'll just tear this off here...


...and Nanna, you gonna take that? Ok great...


...now a little over here,


this piece right here...

Here's another piece Nanna...
Bear, you could do more than just watch ya know!


Sure, hide your head in shame, I see how it is...


No, no, no... no peeking!


Sure, now when all the hard work is done, NOW you show your face!


Well don't think for one second that whatever's in this box is for you mister...


Here, I'll just put this box cover right here & VOILA!

Where's Bear?

*snicker* hee hee

Hmmm, let's see, a card? If only I knew how to read...


Says something here about 'Auntie Pat' & 'Uncle Dan'...


Excellent, thanks for tellin' me who it's from Nanna!


Nice! TISSUE PAPER!!!!!!!


Oh yeah, and a sweat shirt too...


What's that Nanna? There's more...?
Hmmm... let's see,


Ok, yup, you're right... FUN PANTS!
*dig it*


Hmm, now how does Momma get these little hanging thingies off the clothes again?


Find that plastic guy, yup- got it...

and let's see, she just sticks it in her mouth like this...

(amazing the things kids pick up when you think they're not looking isn't it?!)
LMFAO!

A GREAT BIG THANK YOU TO AUNTIE PAT & UNCLE DAN
FOR MY ADORABLE FUN PINK SWEAT SUIT! I LOVE IT!!!!!

Mine! Mine! Mine! Mine!

If you don't live near the ocean, perhaps you're only introduction to these fellas


is from THIS movie...


Trust me when I tell you that they're the Rats of the AIR! These guys will fight over & EAT ANYTHING THROWN OUT!
Thus, the term 'air rats'.

Every morning I throw leftover breakfast (i.e.: toast, cereal, apple peels, banana pieces etc...)
to the squirrel's & birds etc. and EVERY MORNING WITHOUT FAIL,

these guys show up ready for action...


You can hear them coming from a mile away & man do they mean BUSINESS!



But I love all God's creatures, so there's no discrimination here at:

'BOSTON BREAKFAST BUFFET'

Squirrels much prefer CINNAMON COOKIES over anything else anyways.
;)
hehehehehe

Just in case you were wondering what 'beautiful' looks like...


...goodnight.

P.S.

Next time I go rantin' & ravin' atop my proverbial SOAP BOX about something, I should perhaps, JUST IN CASE, have a pair of THESE shoes handy in the event of an "open mouth, insert SHOE' moment... because honestly? My red fuzzy slippers (in classic RED) from Land's End just didn't do it for me! HAPPY FEET sure, but not so easy on my digestive system!

Diary of a sick toddler...

...captains log: day one, bronchitis:

6:30am woke up in Momma's bed happy but still very sick & with a high fever
7:00am Cereal & milk + vitamins for breakfast
7:15am penicillin & Tylenol
7:30am Maisy TiVo time on couch with Bear
8:30am warm bath complete with hair washing & deep conditioning
9:00am dressed back into toasty pj's & back on couch with Bear
10:20am fell asleep on floor in front of pink toasty chair, gently laid into Pack-N-Play to finish out remainder of nap
11:30am woke up hungry & thirsty, signing 'food' & 'drink', gave her peanut butter pretzel sandwiches & water sippy with ice & more penicillin & Tylenol.
(both winners in this house even when very sick & refusing all other foods...)
12:00pm more Maisy time, Bear sensing a routine forming...
1:00pm fast asleep again on floor, this time Momma leaves well enough alone & covers both Ruby & Bear over with a toasty blanket.
3:00pm awake again, asking for more food & drink, downstairs to Nannas house to see what we might find
3:105pm eating cool ranch doritos at Nannas since refusing everything else she had to offer.
(no pbpretzels at Nannas...)
4:00pm back upstairs to do a puzzle or two but then signing for more water & maisy
4:10pm couch this time with fresh water sippy & Bear, who is not shocked to be watching the same episode of Maisy that he saw just moments ago it seems...
5:30pm fast asleep on couch to the point where eventually I hear serious snoring
6:00pm laid them both gently into the crib, sound asleep for what appears to be the night...
11:00pm (momma just finished up watching The Shawshank Redemption) went into Ruby's room one last time to check on her before going to bed herself.
Enters room only to find Ruby sitting straight up with Bear in her arms & smiling saying AND signing: "Hi Momma, eat? Food? Drink? Waffles?" etc...

THE GIRL WANTS WAFFLES, THE GIRL GETS WAFFLES!
Could've cared less if it was 3:45am, my girl who basically refused food nearly all day, wants waffles then damnit SHE GETS WAFFLES!

12:00am 4 mini waffles, 1/2 banana, 4 oz milk, a handfull of cheerios & one final dose of penicillin & Tylenol later and Ruby & Bear are both out cold in the toasty comfort of Momma's bed.
So much for no 'co-sleeping' huh?
I guess when I was doing all my 'nanny preaching' bullshit I forgot to take into consideration the possibility of a sick child. Against my rules or not, I'll be damned if I'm not going to keep my daughter's labored breathing so close that I can feel it tickle the back of my own throat!
When babies are sick, co-sleeping is A'OK in my book!
Now, you'll excuse me as I go enjoy my midnight snack of fillet of 'sole'.
*wink*

Saturday, November 18, 2006

Same, but different...


... recently my good friend Sherrie asked me
when I was going to post a picture of my new hair cut.
Well, aside from cutting shorter layers into it...
(those shorter pieces near my cheek, they weren't there before...)
...it's really not all that different.
Still pretty long so honestly, unless you see me in person, or NOT wearing a black sweater' you can't see the difference, really?
So, it's the same, but different.
Just easier on me since the weight of it is not as much as it once was... my hair tends to be very thick & heavy so the more of it I have, the worse my headaches would be.

So, Sherrie, this pic's for you babe, hope it curbs your curiosity a little.

Bronchitis...


...high fever, runny nose, watery eyes, aches & pains etc.
Just look at my poor girl, you can tell she's miserable.
=*(
Last night she slept with me in my bed because I didn't want her away from me for even so much as a second! All night she curled up next to me with Bear clutched in her hands as I lay next to her listening to her labored breathing & tried not to cry.
I love her so much & when she's sick, it's hard when you know you've done everything you can, and still she's unhappy.
Why can't they invent a 'Momma Magic Wand' to make shit like this disappear?
And while they're at it, make one that covers MS & Cancer, could ya?

Two opinionated...

... perhaps, sometimes, most always during 'GETTING DRESSED' time!

I am a jeans & T-shirt/sweater type Momma. Comfort first, cuteness later.
My daughter, originally was starting out on this same path by default but something happened once 'TWO' hit, the girl found her voice & a bunch of fabulous words including but not limited to,
"NO!"

When dressing my little doodle bug now, don't even THINK about suggesting JEANS for 'pants' because you'll get the ever popular 'NO!" followed by the 'Italian evil eye' (which she nails every time frighteningly enough) and then if after suggesting the jeans, you don't have a 'fun pants' backup option, you'll get the 'swiper' move which is to throw her arm out at you & say in a very deep, growly type 'monster' voice "GO'WAY"!
Fun huh?

So, we are now at the FUN PANTS phase of parenting a toddler.
A short cute Asian who has one very big mind of her own & on that mind?
FUN PANTS!
What are fun pants you ask?


Anything cotton & stretchy & soft with a BRIGHT COLOR OR PATTERN TO THEM!
Those, my friends, are currently the bain of my existence...
...in adult world we call those 'period' pants or 'fat' pants... or perhaps for this upcoming week only, 'thanksgiving' pants.
But 'FUN PANTS'?
I dunno about that...

In my 20's when I was going bar hoppin' every weekend with the girls to toss back half a dozen red deaths or more, I'd wear snug fitting jeans & would only deem them 'fun' if I ended up with a date by the end of the night.
(use your imagination... my mother reads the blog.)

Thus, now, jeans are just jeans (mid 30's & no more drinking has resorted to my 'fun night's being the ones I spend giggling with Ruby to the point where my sides hurt. =)
So honestly, any outfit I'm wearing becomes fun.

But my child?
WILL! HAVE! NO! PART! IN! JEANS! PERIOD!

So sad too, since I bought the most adorable pairs in China in several different sizes to last me the first few years home.
*what did you expect, china shit was CHEAP!*

So, perhaps a jean online' yard sale'? LOL
I dunno, all I know is that if my kid is this opinionated now at TWO, I'm so in trouble come teenage years.

As long as she doesn't start asking for THESE pants, I'll manage...



Man, if I had a tub... I'D HAVE CALGON TAKE MY ASS AWAY!
(if only for an hour...)
*sigh*

Even an old nanny can learn new tricks...

...seriously, in over 16 years you'd have thought I've seen everything & anything 'kid', but not so much!
During a recent visit from our dear friends Karen & Gwen, we were introduced to these WONDERFUL CRAYONS!



I have many Melissa & Doug items in my home for Ruby Cate but had never EVER seen these fantastic OUT OF THIS WORLD' must be made of plastic cuz they NEVER BREAK, PHENOMENAL CRAYONS! Trust me when I tell you that they are a MUST HAVE! Not only are they solid (kid proof) but they're TRIANGULAR in shape, thus NEVER ROLLING ANYWHERE OR FALLING PERIOD!
And let's face it, some of us have kids that enjoy purposefully CHUCKING THINGS just to see how hard & how far they can make them go, BRING IT ON TODDLERS cuz these little colorful chunks of JOY ARE HERE TO STAY! I'm telling you, I even think I stepped on them a few times & STILL NOT ONE BROKEN ONE!
(no fat jokes)
BUT SERIOUSLY, if you haven't already,
invest in these wonderful crayons for your little one, you'll be glad you did!

Thursday, November 16, 2006

Storytime...






A black & white version of the truth...



The kindness of a stranger...

(The following is a true story relayed to me from a very dear friend...)



I was standing in line at the K-Mart to purchase some play-doh for my child,
a mere 7 dollars, nothing big.
Two people in front of me, a mother & a daughter, also in line, waiting to purchase a Dora shirt, clearly for the little girl. The mother thinking that the shirt was on sale.
It was not.
They reach the cashier, the shirt gets rung up & the mother realizes she does not have enough cash with her. She says to the cashier "This is so embarrassing, I'm sorry but I don't have enough... "
She then says to her daughter, "I'm sorry sweetie, but mommy doesn't have enough for your shirt, we're going to have to leave it here & go home."

I noticed the tears start to well up in the little girls eyes as she reluctantly took her mother's hand & with her head hanging slightly lower than before, quietly left the store for home.

I threw my plastic at the cashier & said in a hurry "RING THAT SHIRT UP PLEASE! Keep my card, I'll BE RIGHT BACK!"
Leaving the play-doh on the counter & my credit card in the hands of a perfect stranger, I hurried outside with the shirt in hand to catch up to that mother & daughter.
I looked feverishly for them afraid that I was too late...

...and there they were, getting into their car.

I ran up to them, smiled at the mother & handed her the shirt & said, simply:

"Merry Christmas."

The mother's eyes filled with tears & the daughters face lit up brighter than any Christmas tree I've ever seen.

The mother proceeded to say to her daughter, "Sweetie give the nice lady a hug & say thank
you..."
To which I replied, "oh it's ok, I'm not feeling all that well & I wouldn't want to get her sick, just the smile on her face is thanks enough for me."

And, feeling better than I have in a very long time, I went back into K-Mart to pay for my play-doh.

I can only hope that if I were that mother, that a stranger would do the same for my child.
Wouldn't the world be a much better place if they did?

Merry Christmas everyone!


One year ago, right now...








...my "forever" began.


Wednesday, November 15, 2006

I simply can't believe...

... that one year ago tonight, was my last night home
before leaving for that long 30+ hour trip to China.

Pretty surreal if you ask me.

Amazing how fast a year can fly by when you're not crossing days off a calander.

Next anniversary is monday, our one year 'gotcha' moment...


...I could NOT be HAPPIER!

XoXoXoXo

I love you Ruby!

<3
Momma

Today's 'SMILE' brought to you by...


...children's motrin cold

You'd never in a million years guess that my child woke up this morning with a fever of 102
due to currently cutting her 2yr molars, would ya?
;)

Like teething never even happened...

BOOOOOOYA!

Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Bear Love...