Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Six Strange Things...

...about ME!
I've been TAGGED, so here goes...
(sadly, it's limited to ONLY six, but I'll try my best to pick the BEST ones!)

1. I'm OBSESSED with TWEEZING any/ALL random stray hairs I find on my body!
Be it face, lip, neck WHEREVER, IF IT'S NOT MEANT TO BE THERE OR IT'S THERE AND I DON'T WANT IT THERE, IT'S SOOOOOOO GONE! I'll sit in front of a mirror for AN HOUR STRAIGHT until I get that little bastard OUT!
(I know, I need a support group...)

2. I am CONSTANTLY drinking water, 24/7! I am NEVER without my 'sippy' regardless of where I am or what I'm doing, you find me, you'll find that plastic thing usually nearly empty as I must fill it & drink bottle after bottle of water!
(it holds nearly 3 cups of water & I must drink at least a dozen of them a day...
you do the math!)

3. I'm peeing CONSTANTLY!
(see #2)

4. My favorite color is RED & although every room in my home is a different color,
not one room is RED, how sad is that?

5. I NEVER dry my hair, ever. I shower, toss in some
Neutrogena Triple Moisture Healing Shine Serum,
pull it up in a twist, toss in a clip & go!

6. My hair is SO THICK that at the end of the day,
once I take that clip out,
my hair is STILL WET from my morning shower. How's THAT FOR STRANGE?!

(and cuz I can't just pick six, here's a bonus #7!)

7. I am CONSTANTLY HOT! I absolutely HATE THE SUMMER and
ADORE THE COLD COLD WINTER MONTHS!
Last night, I went out to play pool with some friends & although there's snow & ice on the ground, I wore my Birkenstock sandals out... no lie!
(& NO I wasn't cold!)

Ok, I tag Johnny for this one... and for the record Johnny, THOSE STEAKS LOOKED FANDAMNTASTIC! OMG!
*DROOL*

Monday, January 29, 2007

A Love Letter: Translated...

Dear Pei Mu's Mother,

Got your letter, it was a big surprise to have it arrive from inside china. I do not have any friends or family who would send a letter, but I got the letter from your friend Ning. The first time I got the letter I was wondering 'where is this letter coming from' so I opened it & right away your daughters picture was right in front of my face and I was yelling to everyone in my family to come over & see the picture of our daughter! by that time my husband was working out on the farm & when he heard me screaming, he stopped working ,ran home & asked if a letter came from our daughter! So the whole family is so excited & so appreciative to receive the letter & the pictures they don't want to put it down, we all started to cry! We miss her so bad and we never thought we would get a letter from you with the pictures and it was so nice of you to think about sending a letter & pictures to us! For you to understand how much we miss our Pei Pei means so much! My whole family says thank you thank you & please say thank you to your friend because without your friends help we never would have had contact with you and understand how everything is going on thank you so much to bring the news about Pei Pei's new life in US now.

We are not worrying anymore because we got your letter and your pictures of Pei Pei and we know everything about her life now & we won't worry about her anymore and we know that you work taking care of children for many years and we know that you are the woman who has a big loving heart and are a wonderful Mom & Pei Pei is a lucky girl to have such a wonderful Mom & thank God for you.
Thank God you have so much love for Pei Pei & she has a happy healthy life to grow up. When Pei Pei was just born she was sent to our family for fostering and now our whole family love her just like she was our own. She is like the princess in our family even for only 14 months, we feel like it's more than 14 months, she was like our own child and those months we took care of her the best we could. We were concerned about everything about her, even when she felt a little bit unwell, we worried so much about her. When we were eating we always take turns to hold her, our whole family, so she won't be alone.
When Pei Pei was a little baby, she was smart and happy and such a lovely girl, when we get the call from the orphanage that Pei Pei was going to be adopted into a foreign family & she was leaving in a couple days, it was hard to hear. It hurt like someone just hit us in the head ,it really really hurt. We didn't know what to do, those couple days when we watched Pei Pei, how happy she was, our hearts broke and it made us cry... when we think now about those days, it's hard to remember that time. I thought about adopting Pei Pei myself, but because in our family right now we don't have enough money and the government warned us not to do that, so we could only let her go. That day when I sent Pei Pei to the orphanage, me and my husband were crying & crying, and when the people from the orphanage came and took Pei Pei away from us, I was so distraught, I collapsed on the ground & by the time my husband managed to wake me up, Pei Pei was gone already & I cried forever out on the ground and I was devastated that I will never get a chance to see my daughter Pei Pei again. I get so upset when I think about that. Other people thought about that & felt sad for me but they tried to make me feel better & told me it's best to just go home now because there is nothing more that I can do.

Up until that day, Pei Pei was the last girl we will ever foster. I am afraid it will happen again and I get too sad, I can't handle it. It's because we love Pei Pei so much, we can't handle saying goodbye to her. I have been reading your letter over and over and every time I think about Pei Pei, I would take the letter out & read it again and again. We totally understand the love you have for Pei Pei and I am so happy for Pei Pei to have you as such a good Mother. Also she plays with you well and you do anything to help her grow up to be a good girl and every person from China they all have big hearts and one day Pei Pei will grow up she will always do the same for you like you do for her. She will always love you, her wonderful Mom, We hope to keep in touch with you and one day when Pei Pei grows up, please tell her there is a Mom in China who loves her so much and tell her promise to come back to china to see the country where she was born.
In my family, I have over ten people. I have two sons, they are working doing jobs in Guangzhou. I also have a daughter who has a job in Fuzhou. My husband and I stay at home & work for the farmers & take care of our grandsons.

By now we are ok with the money stuff, we're not a rich family but it's ok. The Jiangxi province of china is not a real rich province, it's kinda poor but I believe after ten or thirteen years, Jiangxi province may be much better, not as poor. By the time Pei Pei comes to visit us in China, our province will be muh better, it's a beautiful province, you will see.

Thank you so much for the beautiful necklace that you sent. It's not problem for you to send a letter to me... could I ask you a favor, Chinese new year is coming up & my two sons they will be coming home from Guangzhou for Chinese new year, if possible that we can see pei pei on the internet, you could please call your friend & we can set up a time to put on the computer & we would like to see you on the internet. Please please say thank you to your friend Ning , thank her alot for all her help. Maybe in the future we may still need her help to contact you. Please promise me you will keep in touch.

Much love to all of you and many many hugs and kisses to our dear sweet Pei Pei!

She's blurry...


...but she's my CHUNK-O-CHINA!
LOOK AT THOSE CHEEKS ON MY BABY GIRL!
She looks to be about the same age she was when her finding ad photo was taken.
(guessing by her hair growth, or lack thereof...)
which was about 3 months... GOOD LORD EITHER SHE'S GOT ON 50 LAYERS OF CLOTHING OR MY GIRL ALWAYS LOVED HER NOODLES!

(I'm guessing that the little girl on left of pic is the other girl our FM fostered...)

A Much Needed Pick-Me-Up...


...arrived today in the mail.
*smile*
(waiting on a translation, stay tuned...)

Sunday, January 28, 2007

Kick Me While I'm Down...

...still no nanny job in sight, didn't get the job I was going for recently & just found out this morning that the tax refund (adoption tax credit) that I was COUNTING ON to kinda get me through this bump in the road of my life, IS NOT COMING!

Turns out, if you haven't worked up until this tax term to put back into your taxes, you don't get to take out what is rightfully yours to begin with.

This year?
I'm getting a whopping $40. dollars back.

$40 FUCKING DOLLARS!

If anyone needs me I'll be stewing in a puddle of my own juices right over here in the corner.
I need to meltdown before I have a nervous breakdown...

...pray for something, ANYTHING or else I just don't know what's going to happen.


Friday, January 26, 2007

Morning Hair, Giggles, Bear Kisses & My Nannie...





Mystic Knitting...


...a scarf made of allot of love & a dash of stupidity
while watching one pretty good 'on demand' flick in the early a.m.



Let's just hope he likes it as much as William Bear does...
*why am I craving pizza now?*

Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Bear Love & Benadryl...


...a winning combination.

Tuesday's With Uncle Steve...

...Chicken Taco Stoup w/sour cream & lime!

Ingredients:




EVOO (twice around pot)
4 cloves fresh minced garlic
1 can crushed tomatoes
1 pkg thick center cut bacon
1 red onion chopped
1 Spanish onion chopped
1 block extra sharp cheddar cheese
2 large boneless chicken breasts cut up bite size
1 pkg taco seasoning mix
4 cups chicken stock
1 lime
tortilla chips

Directions:


In large soup pot on medium heat, go twice around bottom of pot with EVOO.
(extra virgin olive oil)


add fresh minced garlic & brown being careful not to burn!


Add whole pound of bacon cut into bite size pieces.


once bacon has browned up (ten minutes) add both onions.
(Spanish & red)


Pepper to taste.
(I don't add salt as the bacon is salty enough as is...)


Stir & cook about ten minutes until onions are slightly transparent.


Add boneless chicken breasts & stir. Cook about ten minutes or so.


Then add can of crushed tomatoes.


Then add 4 cups of stock, stir well.


Now add your packet of taco seasoning.


Let simmer another ten minutes until mixture comes to a low boil.


Reduce heat & add the zest of one lime.
(save the actual lime to be juiced over each bowl prior to presentation)


Now it's time to prepare bowl for serving:


In bottom of bowl, crush a handful of tortilla chips of your choice.



Now crumble a handful of freshly grated extra sharp cheddar cheese on top of those...


...ladle one full heap er of the stoup on top of the tortillas & cheese.
(soup will be very hot, thus melting the cheese on contact)


Finish off with a generous dollop of sour cream in the center & two tortilla chips for garnish.
(squeeze fresh lime juice over entire bowl)




& SERVE!

Then, if you're lucky enough...


...you'll be enjoying THESE for dessert!
*drool*


After all, who doesn't like to taste the rainbow?
hehehe
Ruby & Bear wish everyone a
GOOD NIGHT!

*pray for sleep*

That which doesn't kill us...

...is supposed to make us stronger, right?

What most of you do not know is that prior to leaving for NC, I went on two separate job interviews with the local YMCA to be a teachers assistant in their infant/toddler room.
The pay wasn't much but it was a job & it was right up my alley.
1st interview was to chat with the director...
...2nd was to spend actual time with the kids, over two hours to be exact.

Phone just rang, they'd like to thank me for my interest but are going with someone else.

Se La Vie'

As of Feb 1st, my $ has run out & we'll be living on a wing & a prayer, or two.

...just keep us in your thoughts & pray that either I find a job,
or one finds me soon because now it's just getting scary.

Serenity Now...


I don't for one second regret at all going to visit our friends & enjoying what was quite possibly,
the most fun 2year old birthday party celebration ever, hands down.

I do, however, regret that in doing so, I've set my child's progress back some.
My girl, to anyone who knows her, is the most chill, relaxed, sweet heart of a kid.
Honest, she just is.

Now?
She's timid, scared, cries alot more, is clingy & can't do a THING unless Velcro'd to my side.
Literally.
I used to be able to leave the room & let her play independently with whatever toy it was that had her undivided attention...

Now?
Not so much.

I even so much as think about leaving the room,
FIRST
I have to convince her that it's ok to get down from my lap for just a little bit because,
"Momma has to potty"
or
"Momma has to take a shower"
etc...

THEN (assuming I was successful at talking her 'down')
I attempt said necessity with little to no success.

I really am convinced that this recent trip scared her into thinking that she was being abandoned again, which clearly is not the case... but just try convincing a 2 year old who has been through that horror twice already in her little lifetime of that.
Not so easy.

She used to go down at night without a hitch...

Her own bed, her own room, no problem.

Now?

The pack & play (she calls it her 'nappy') in MY bedroom
& since returning home,
not
one
solid
night
of
sleep
yet.

I say yet because I was told to not expect that right away as clearly she's showing signs of regression, ok fine, I'll give you that.
So she's regressed, nothing we can't work through with time & patience, right?

Obviously the answer to that is 'right, yes, no problem Amy... time & patience.

But what I want to know is, what about 'healing'?

How many times do I have to look into her beautiful eyes & say to her over and over and over;
"Ruby, Momma loves you so much & I'm not going anywhere, ever.
You're stuck with me baby..."

This morning, after breakfast & after much crying because I got up from the table to wash my hands... through tears, my daughter said to me "stuck me baby, stuck, stuck..."

So, I guess it's getting through to her, slowly.

If only I could be sure of the 'surely' part of that saying...

Already tonight she's been up several times,
each abrupt screaming match worse than the last.

I know that this experience has made me realize that neither Ruby nor myself will be flying anywhere again, anytime soon, period.

GOD, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change;
the courage to change the things I can;
and the wisdom to know the difference.

Please.
(no comments on this one, just venting for my own sanity & still hoping for a little serenity...)

Just keep us in your prayers, thanks.


Sunday, January 21, 2007

Home...

...is where Ruby wanted to be & I needed to be.

Wonderful to see friends & celebrate together
but even better to be home safe & sound.
More later, my bed is calling me to curl up in it & drift off
while listening to the soft sounds of my daughter's peaceful sleep.

G'night.

Saturday, January 20, 2007

P-A-R-T-Y!


Friday, January 19, 2007

Safe & Sound...

...& already in my 'fat pants' & sans bra.

Uneventful flight, happy to be on solid ground, Ruby's a trooper & quite possibly the best kid in the WORLD!

We're all doing fine & Ruby, Gwen & Julia are all enjoying their together time.

More later, oh, and I didn't bring my camera so you'll have to be patient & wait for any/all pics that Karen takes & uploads to make it to the blog.

*hugs* to all!

-Us
(just a little south of normal)

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Dreaming of...


...chicken & dumplins'!

Have Cheerios...


...will TRAVEL!

We leave in the morning & will arrive in NC shortly before noon
& will be enjoying a week's worth of much needed 'de-stressing' with our
beloved friends, Karen & Gwen & a host of other friends who just simply,
light
up
my
life.

More blogging from the south people... CIAO!

ps. Karen, that's your scarf hangin' on that bag... I'll be wearing it down!
*grin*

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Easiest Recipe Ever...


...nuff said?

*laughing*

WOOOO HOOOOOOO
Sometimes, Tuesday's with Uncle Steve were meant for
BREAKIN' ALL THE RULES!


Man do I love Munchkins!
(Is that politically correct to say that? I don't think I can say that?? Am I supposed to call them "little donuts"? AHHHH SO CONFUSING!)
hehehehe
YUM!

Monday, January 15, 2007

Finally...

...remember a while back when I blogged about this?

Well, I only heard them talk about it that Oprah episode
yet never managed to get around to viewing it for myself...

...despite always having good intentions to do so.

Well, today as miss Rubes took her daily nap,
I curled up to a little 'on demand' &
FINALLY caught this amazing movie!

To say that it's a love story is an understatement...
...it's a soul mate story.
A forbidden love affair that tugs at your every heart string
until the instant the credits roll.

I was moved through the entire film & at the end was brought to tears.
Heath & Jake were flawless, period.

This, is a film, I absolutely intend to own,
just as soon as I find a job & can afford it.

Trust me, if you've never seen it, make a date night whether with someone else
or just with yourself, but one way or another, plan to see this movie very soon, if not tonight.

I only hope that I experience passion like that
at least once in my life.

Smiles & Cheeks...



Have Bangs - Will Travel...