Just some good old fashioned...

... MONKEY BUSINESS!

(in new pink monkey PJ's!)

hehehe
(for the record, monkey business before bed... ROCKS!)

And the winner is...

With only ONE WRONG, our best guessers of 'Ruby Speak' are Susan from Atlanta, GA, and Cil!
(who I'm not quite sure of her whereabouts since her blog isn't functional)
But, no matter... YOU BOTH did AMAZINGLY WELL missing ONLY ONE!
Not too shabby Susan, for a Momma in waiting!
GIRL YOU'RE READY FOR THE TODDLER SPEAK NO PROBLEM!
Now, what do they win exactly? I dunno, I didn't really give that much thought to be honest. LOL Perhaps Ruby will be so inclined to create a couple of her 'RUBY ORIGINALS' in fingerpaint & send them their way... sound like a plan?
(Susan & Cil, just email me your info privately & consider it done...)
*she really makes a mean painted mess, frame quality fingerpainting for sure!*


So, here's what she's REALLY saying when she says the following:

1. Pacle - Apple
(don't ask WHY she says it that way, she just does. LOL)
2. Tose - Toast
3. Malk - Milk
4. Baannn - Banana
5. Ohhhsss - Cheerios
6. Wawul - Waffle
7. Teeeeeee - Tea
8. Peesbarr - Peanut Butter
9. Bupter - Butter
10. Zotto - Risotto
11. Cooks - Cookie
(referring to Pizzelle's, Italian waffle cookies I make from scratch, SO YUMMY!)
12. Brockie - Broccoli
13. Caarrr - Carrot
14. Chickto - Chicken
15. Paytoh - Potato

I'm amazed at the accuracy of some of your guesses! Some were truly a little more challenging with good reason, most people never EVER think that Pacle would mean Apple, not in a million years! LOL Hell, had it not been my kid I'd have never known it was Apple.
I'd have guessed popcicle too!

SO, CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR FANTASTIC GUESSES!

The Evil returns...

Honest to GOD... I've seriously HAD IT with these ridiculous 'absent parent/insert toy' type toys that seem to CONSTANTLY resurface regardless of time or generation.

When I was a kid it was THIS creepy ass toy that parents thought was just amazing, yet I recall it SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME!



"Uh, Ma? I really prefer my stuffed animals NOT TO COME TO LIFE & TRY TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH ME ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP... EWWW!"
(Why am I having awful CHUCKY flashbacks?)
IF IT'S FUZZY & A DOLL, DON'T GIVE IT THE POWER OF BATTERY INDUCED SPEECH!
Christ, that's enough to send MOST OF US spiraling into a pit of therapy the likes of which you've never seen!

Thankfully my Mother was none too impressed with that evil number, thus he never made his way into the Italian house to spread his Ruxpin funk on anyone!

It's now, over 30 years later, and the marketing genius that is Hasbro, thinks that

THIS CREEPY TEDDY #2 IS JUST WHAT THE ABSENT PARENT ORDERED!



C'mon people, what ever happened to YOU reading a book to your child?
A novel idea I'm sure, but think for a second...

Can any toy EVER in the HISTORY of Toys take the place of some quality 1 on 1 time between you & your child?

Not! So! Much!

Honestly everyone... can't YOU just read to your children?
Don't sit them in front of yet another battery powered 'babysitter' to occupy their little impressionable minds so that you can get one more fax sent or one more dish washed or one more ANYTHING done.

Because I'm here to tell you that when those little impressionable children become adults & someone asks them to remember what stands out most about their childhood...
I can GUARANTEE you that it's NOT going to be the hours upon endless hours they sat in front of some stupid talking, story telling, battery sucking bear...

Life isn't that hellish that you need an electronic babysitter to occupy your child for a few minutes so you can get something accomplished.

I am a single mother who works a FULL week as a Nanny to 1 YEAR OLD TWINS in addition to my 2 year old toddler. I get my work done, I get my OWN stuff done & not ONE of those children ever needs the aid of a talking storytelling bear.
AND I take it a step further & prepare all the meals I serve them from SCRATCH!
No, I'm not claiming to be Betty freakin' Crocker, but what I AM boasting is my ability to KNOW that it's the little things like this that matter.
It's the little things that children take with them into their adulthood.
It's the home cooked meals, the stories read, the giggles shared, the time spent...
And on top of all that, when the twins or Ruby wants a story read...
I read it to them.
I do.
Me, myself & I!
And you know what? They SIT for the story!
They LOVE being read to, hell, I'M 34 AND I STILL LOVE A GOOD STORY!
Doesn't everyone?
It's something that none of us outrgows... ever.

Is whatever it is that you need to get done, really that pressing a 'thing' that you need to get 'it' done RIGHT NOW?
Can't it wait?
I mean really, is your life going to come to a screeching halt if you don't get those last dishes into the dishwasher or run that vaccum one more time?
Trust me, eventually your child will nap.
Maybe not during the day like you had hoped, but surely at night, hell we all gotta conk out at some point, yes?

Thirty years ago my Mom did those things with me, and trust me... I remember.
Everything.

Thirty years from now, if we ask our children what they remember most,
what do you think they'll say?
What do you HOPE they'll say?

Are you hoping for " Man my mom was so kewl to always let me sit & listen to that super kewl bear read me stories... Huh, what's that? How did Mom tell it?
Uh, I dunno, she never read the books to me, it was always just the bear..."

Or do you want it be a little something like this:

"My Mom used to read to me my favorite book over and over even though I'm sure it drove her a little nuts! She knew how much I loved it and no matter how many times I wanted to hear it, she'd just smile & keep on reading it because she loved me.
AND she did all the voices herself! Talk about a memory & one hell of a Mom..."


No kid is going to say, "Man am I ever psyched that I spent every weekend in front of that electronic freakoid bear thingie, those were quality stories. Oh, my mom? I dunno, she was probably busy... but oh that bear, let me tell you about the bear, good times!"


NOT!

Please people, at the end of the day, the first thing I think about isn't the stuff I got accomplished, because it's just that, stuff.

The things that stick to the roof of my mouth like really good peanut butter, are the moments my daughter & I giggled together, the stories I read her over and over that she NEVER seems to get sick of & ALWAYS appreciates my attempt at the silly voices & sound effects, the small but powerful gesture of simply her grasping hold of my finger as I push the shopping cart through the market tonight & upon feeling her touch, I look down to see her gorgeous coal colored almond shaped eyes glistening up at me with a smile so big it nearly masked her adorable ears... as she said 'Uh Voo Momma', while I'm picking out which rice cakes to buy.

Those my friends are the moments that matter not only to my child, but to me.
The time spent with them, TIME...
Not money.
Not toys.
Not clothes.

Time.

So this christmas when someone says to you "OMG have you seen that adorable new talking bear... blah blah blah? Aren't you going to get one for your child? It's the hottest new toy you know! All the mothers are trying to get their hands on one!"

Smile & politely say, "Eh, I'm pretty sure my little one won't be interested in that, anyways... she's already got a pretty good storyteller at home, and I don't require batteries."

Mealtime speak... *updated*

Ruby LOVES mealtime... she's very verbal with me about what she wants & isn't shy about asking for anything... ever!
*like mother like daughter*
The following are her words for things she LOVES to eat!
She says them often, but as you can see, they don't don't necessarily look like they should.
Can you guess what's what?

1. Pacle
2. Tose
3. Malk
4. Baannn
5. Ohhhsss
6. Wawul
7. Teeeeeee
8. Peesbarr
9. Bupter
10. Zotto
11. Cooks
12. Brockie
13. Caarrr
14. Chickto
15. Paytoh

GOOD LUCK!


*We don't eat cheetos ever. I don't eat things like that anymore,
( you can't lose 80lbs by eating things like that, period.)
So you'll never find them in my house...
Also, we don't do popcicles, only skinny cow ice cream sandwiches.
(Some of you are amazing at your guesses! Alas, try again!)

Little Women...

... for little Ruby.

One great big classic of a book...

... for one fast growing little girl with a great big curiosity for life!


Someday Ruby, once Momma teaches you how to read,
we'll tackle that one TOGETHER!
(I promise.)

Every night, without fail...

... Ruby insists on hearing THIS book.

It's an extremely sweet story and the bear kinda resembles her 'Bear'.
It definitely doesn't hurt that I make the 'sound effects' for the 'blowing wind' and the 'stormy rain' hitting the rooftop.
*grin*
If you're a sucker for a good Board Book, then I insist you get your tooshie to Barnes & Noble or right here online to Amazon.com and hook your little kidlet up with this destined to become a classic, story of love, bedtime routine, and kisses goodnight.
Ruby & Bear give it 4 'paws' up!
hehehe

And the winner is...

...Katherine Fortunato!!



Congratulations to her on the top winning bid for Elmo TMX!

Hopefully there will be one more very happy child this christmas
because of this fuzzy giggling monster.
*smile*
& FYI: I managed to get one for Ruby JUST IN CASE she decides that she may be curious enough to want one... & if not, it'll be a gift for her cousin Isabella. =)

If laughter is good for the soul...

... then the sound of my daughter's early morning laughter
is hands down, the breakfast of champions!


hehehehe


Breakfast anyone... ?


Actually these belly laughs were courtesy of her favorite new show...

Peep in the Big Wide World


It's on every morning on TLC...


... and it's the ONLY show she'll literally sit for an entire eppisode.


Personally, I think it's the duck, aptly named 'Quack', that she adores the most!

I know he's my personal favorite!
Because truthfully, he's just good solid 'funny' with a capital QUACK!

"Munch..."

Me: "Hey Ruby... you wanna have some lunch baby?"

Ruby: "Mmmm, munch Momma!"

Me: "No Ruby, not 'munch' baby, it's Lunch... LLLLunch... with an 'L'. Can you say Lunch?"

Ruby: "Mmm, munch, munch!"

Me: *laughing* "hee hee, baby you're so funny, can you even TRY to say Lunch? Let's try it..."

Ruby: "NO!"

Me: "Ruby, you know Momma doesn't like when you say 'no' sweetie, it's ok if you want to call it 'munch' but we should at least try to say it correctly. Wanna try again?"

Ruby: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!"

Me: (trying to hold back serious laughter) "Ok baby, we'll try it another time, ok? Momma loves you!"

Ruby: *giggling* "NO! NO! NO! ... Momma?"

Me: "Yes Ruby?"

Ruby: "mmmmmm Munch! Uhhh Vooo Momma!"

Me: *smiling* " I love you too baby, to China & back..."

Ruby: *giggling* "Chiii" (her word for China)

Me: "Yes baby, Momma loves you all the way to Chiii..."

*Risotto & fish is now being served at the kitchen table...*

A WHAT?@#$%?

Ok, this is a RUBY FIRST my friends!

My daughter who LOVES pants, jeans, t-shirts, going barefoot etc...

... just asked me for 'A DRESS?!##$%#$%' !


Now don't look at me like that Ruby,
you KNOW that you've NEVER ONCE EVER ASKED MOMMA FOR A DRESS!


I was SHOCKED to say the least!


Then she took it one step further & while pointing to her toes said:
"Shoes Momma!"

So at first in very 'cinderella' style, we tried her very first pair of shoes she ever wore in China.
They're cute white leather mary jane's in size 4's.

Eh, not so much baby girl, those shoes are too small.

No sweetie, really... you can't shove your feet into them.
*SHOES MOMMA!*
Baby, let's find a pair that'll fit, ok?
*wanders off to find her Green Keds that Nanna bought her*

Ok so they're not girlie shoes, not so much...

(once a tomboy, always a tomboy)

BUT THEY ARE FUN!

And absolutely made for DANCING!

Dancing & JUMPING!

GO RUBY GO!!

*honestly, never in a million years did I think I'd hear my daughter ask for a dress,
I'm still sitting here in shock*
hee hee

But for the record, she makes that dress look cute!
Tomboy sneakers & all!
hehehehe

Good Times...

... so today was just another normal day in the 'Ruby Cate' house.
Twins came promptly at 7:15am, had a 'textbook' day as far as childcare, games, books, puzzles, meals, diaper changes, naps, etc...

Fastforward to tonight around 5ish-
Ruby & I set out to get a few things at the grocery store.
Nothing big, essentials to make my pasta fagioli, fresh veggies & sundried tomato sausage to dice/chop & freeze in individual ziploc bags for future use when Risotto is calling my name.
No big deal right?
Not so much...

Upon arriving home to one very empty house, I realized that I now had about a dozen bags full of heavy groceries, one very hungry toddler, one extreemly loved Bear, one new 'board book' purchased during our shopping excursion, one purse, one kid size sippy, one momma size sippy, a heavy set of keys & a partridge in a freakin pear tree!

I digress...

So, since I am always fairly prepared for shit like this, I immediately pick up my cell phone to dial Ruby's babysitter down the street to see if she can just come lend a hand with miss Cheeks so I can get our goods into the house sans difficulty.
Well, it was a brilliant idea, had she been home where she should've been rather than AT THE BEACH WITH FRIENDS!
*sigh*
Ok, on to plan B: used cell phone again to call my sweet neighbors from across the street. Jason & April are a-damn-dorable & they both adore Ruby.
Ring... (c'mon, please be home) ring... (omg you've got to be kidding me!) ring...
*click* Hello?
Oh my GOD you're home! *dig it*
So Jason & April are more than happy to come over & occupy miss Ruby Rubes while I bring in the bags... and even mister cutie pie Jason helps me with a few himself!
*I love my neighbors!*
So, you're thinking " big deal Amy, you got people to help you, doesn't sound like much of a challenge to me..."
*patience is a virtue*

So, once saying a big fat THANK YOU to Jason & April, we head upstairs & Ruby shuts the door for Momma and in the house we are... groceries, tired looking 'Bear' & all.
I get Ruby settled in with her blankets, Bear & a sippy & her newest favorite show PEEP and the Big Wide World and off into the kitchen I go to prepare tonight's dinner & dice peppers, onions, baby bella mushrooms, garlic, sausage etc... for the freezer.
Ruby's happy, I'm in my 'element' and all's right with my world...
...all's right until I hear,
"Uhoh, Momma?... Momma?!"
*cries*


I run to her side only to be bowled over by a smell unlike any other.
Dead fish covering rotten skunk carcas sprinkled with worms WOULD'VE SMELT BETTER THAN WHAT I ENDURED MY FRIENDS!
I immediately pick up my daughter only to feel that her toosh seems a bit 'damp'.
*I use 'damp' because to call it a soupy mess would just be gross, wouldn't it?*

I run her into the bedroom & slowly, AND I DO MEAN S-L-O-W-L-Y take her clothes off one layer at a time.
If there was such a thing as a shitsprayer bottler, imagine if you will someone holding my child hostage until EVERY INCH OF HER ADORABLE LITTLE SELF was COVERED AND THEN dress her & wait to see how challenging the removal of said outfit will be.



FUN WITH A CAPITAL 'F' MY FRIENDS!
*psst, I'm lying!*
There's NOTHING FUN about a good old fashioned
ASS-PLOSION!
HOLY DISGUSTING BATMAN!




So, literally, and I do mean LITERALLY, 32,000 WIPES *give or take a few* & LOTS OF STRATEGICLY PLANNED HAND MANEUVERS LATER, my child is not only CLEAN but she's stark nekkid as there wasn't one stitch of clothing salvagable.
GOOD LORD!
She's lucky I love her, that's all I'm saying.

All's well that ends well yes?
I mean after all, I did manage to not only get the pasta figioli finished but I put all the groceries away, made my 4 batches of frozen 'risotto' fixin's for future use, dressed my child & then fed her dinner, emptied & reloaded the dishwasher, made the twins breakfast for the morning & got their sippies ready, got my water in my kettle & my tea/sugar in my teapot all ready for the boiling water come morning.
Christ knows I HAVE to have my pot of 'get-the-hell-up' or I'm useless & three small children will be left to flounder & bounce around like fish out of water.
*that would be bad*
Now, I'm beat, exhausted, wiped out, drained...
... just plain tired.
Ugh.
All I can say is:
T G T F!
(thank goodness TOMORROW'S FRIDAY!)
G'night!

Tickle Me 'ITALIAN'...

... Ok so here's the deal, through the magic of one of my best friends on the planet, I have in my possession, the following:


If you don't know who this little guy is, then perhaps you're just like me & living under a rock?!
LOL


I didn't know at all until my friend told me about him.
Now I can't say how I have one but I do... I usually have all the 'hook up's' courtesy of my Italian side but this time, it's due to my Southern side!
*grin*




Now, since Ruby isn't much of a fan of this red fuzzy guy, I figured I would just list him on ebay, make some mom's day & quite possibly her christmas as I guess these little guys are nearly impossible to come by and whatever money I make from the sale, goes into our 'ITALIAN TRIP FUND' for next June.




I haven't been to Italy in nearly 15 years... & Ruby has yet to set foot on her Nonno's soil. That is going to change this June, we're going for two weeks HOWEVER, I have to scrimp & save like a crazy person, which basically means we don't get out as much as we'd like unless it's something free. (ie: walks to the library, playing in the back yard, etc...)


But then I thought, eh... why ebay? Why not list him here? I have plenty of readers ALL with children/children on the way SO, rather than ebay, he's being listed HERE just for YOU !
All my faithful R.I.H.O.T. readers get first dibs.
I'm going to just leave it up to you all, that is if anyone's interested in him at all.


Leave me your 'bid' amount in the comments section & by weeks end, whoever has the highest bid, wins. And just like in true ebay fashion I have a COUNTDOWN TO ELMO ticker factory icon at the bottom of the blog. Bidding ends as of midnight on Sunday.
Winner to be announced first thing Monday Morning!
Oh, and if you'd rather your bid be private?

e-mail me instead!

I'll just update the comments section with an amount only
& that way, the bidders identity won't be revealed!
Ooooh this is going to be FUN!
LET THE BIDDING BEGIN!
(and if nobody should be interested in him, that's ok too cuz I can always just go back to my original plan of posting him on ebay... they're going for $150 & up!)
I don't know about you all, but that would make a nice chunk of change
to add to my Italian fund, plus it'll make me happy knowing that not everyone on the planet gets to bid on him like on ebay, but it's an event privvy only to my readers, my friends!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

Ruby's Book Club...

... will have online *monthly meetings* with anyone interested in joining!

Standard Bookclub Rules according to Miss Ruby:

-Must either love to read or at least be willing to make yourself LOOK like you love it...

-Must have a fabulously toasty chair to plunk down into with this month's book selection as chozen by miss RUBY...

-Must not be afraid to be 'different' and chill 'in your own way' ...
( it's OK to break the rules on occasion... Momma said so!)


(I'm pretty sure that's not how one would assume a toddler relaxes in her chair, but it seems to work for Miss Ruby Roo...)
-Always have an ice water sippy handy for those thirsty reading moments...
-Always bring a friend or two...
(note her new friend DUCK in the backround on Momma's ottoman...)


And last but not least,

-FOR GOD SAKES, ALWAYS ENJOY YOURSELF!

The Devil in the White City...

Book club selection for September,
& so far, I'm LOVING it!

And in the immortal words of Ross Geller...

"... I just grabbed a spoon."


*smile*

'Stealth-Aunt'

Ok, so my Aunt Allegra (Ruby's Nanna T) is staying downstairs at my parents place while they're whoopin' it up in ITALY! (jealous like you CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE!) And truth be told, I like that she's there because honestly, if I were to have an MS attack, it's just not the smartest thing in the world to be in such a big house & be the only adult with a child in tow. So far so good & I'm probably going to be just fine as I usually am, HOWEVER, can't hurt to be safe right? So, why 'stealth-aunt' as the title to this post? Let me explain...

My aunt is fun & loud, just like me, she's KNOWN whenever she's in a room, or a house, or within ten feet or so of you, just like me. LOL So if she's loud & boisterious WHY IS IT that literally, I look outside my apartment & one minute her car's there & the next, *POOF* it's gone!?!@?!! Seriously, keep in mind that the driveway is HUGE, it's easy to hear ANYONE start a car from ANYWHERE in my cozy little apartment because I always have every window open, even if it's just a crack. HOW IS THIS WOMAN DISSAPPEARING WITHOUT ME SO MUCH AS HEARING HER START THE ENGINE?

Oh, and the car, if I showed it to you you'd say;
" Now come'on Amy, you're trying to tell me you didn't hear THAT CAR leaving?"

Yes, that's what I'm telling you.

SO, either I'm going DEAF in my 30's OR, the woman is a secret stealth bomber on a mission to make me feel like I'm losing my mind!
Guess what Leggy... IT'S WORKING!
hehehe

Seriously maybe all these years of listening to myself talk, and talk, and talk, and talk-
has ruined my hearing.
It's possible...
... I'm sorry, what was that?

Men In Trees... *updated*

" The truest thing I know about relationships is that sometimes we don't know anything at all.
You can't always get the one you want and sometimes the one you get may not be the right one at all... but if you have hope, the universe has a funny way of showing you exactly what you need.
The challenge is to let yourself be alone until the right one shows up...
but you can't hide either.
Heartbreak sucks...
but not having heartbreak sucks more.
The answers aren't in a lecture or a book but maybe if you get yourself happy, you'll find the right one.
I believe this because against all odds, I'm still an optimist.
That's the thing about love...
if it were that easy, everyone would have it.

*More Men in Trees...*

So I guess there's no easy way to move on from a relationship.
You can't flip a switch and suddenly be over it,
because the road really is full of hidden pot holes.
You can try staying in the relationship...
You can stay home and dream of the perfect unobtainable one...
But in the end, it just takes time and some Alaskan tap water
and the help of a town full of good men.
Thanks for sleeping with me Elmo."

Ok, who'se brave enough to attempt this?

L'approvazione, questa è uscita dall'ordinario per me, TUTTAVIA, ho desiderato inviare qualcosa aromatizzare sul blog una punta! Sono curioso quant0 di voi REALMENTE tenteranno di provare & calcolare fuori che cosa ho scritto, piuttosto che commento giusto su come non potete capirli… CAPPISH? Con la persona che può leggere il questo & calcolare fuori che cosa dice, i PUNTI ENORMI di INDENNITÀ e forse sorpresa trasmessa personalmente dal RUBY lei stessa! Hee Hee, BUONA FORTUNA! Ed a quelli di voi che REALMENTE PARLANO ITALIANO (sì Rina, questo li significa…) non rovinare la sorpresa per il resto di noi che devono calcolare fuori un senso tradurre questo testo con l'uso dei loro calcolatori & dei loro cervelli! hee di hee Ciò dovrebbe essere DIVERTIMENTO per dire il minimi!

CIAO!

Happy Birthday to you...

... Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday Dear
RUBY!
Happy Birthday Toooo Youuuu!!!
*clapping*
YEAH!



hehehe only my kid is full of herself enough to start applauding BEFORE the song ends but just immediately AFTER hearing her NAME!
*grin* hehehe

That's my girl!

Ruby tell Uncle Steve... GO! GO! GO!

If it says the video is no longer available... be patient, because it IS available, HOWEVER I literally just uploaded it... SO, it takes a little while for it to be fully functional via the blog. Come back in a few minutes & click on it again, should be just fine. =) (& to Uncle Steve who was SO patient with constantly playing his cell phone over and over and over and OVER and OVER some more for my bossy little 'GO!' girl... Thanks! ) *smile*