Good Times...
... so today was just another normal day in the 'Ruby Cate' house.
Twins came promptly at 7:15am, had a 'textbook' day as far as childcare, games, books, puzzles, meals, diaper changes, naps, etc...
Fastforward to tonight around 5ish-
Ruby & I set out to get a few things at the grocery store.
Nothing big, essentials to make my pasta fagioli, fresh veggies & sundried tomato sausage to dice/chop & freeze in individual ziploc bags for future use when Risotto is calling my name.
No big deal right?
Not so much...
Upon arriving home to one very empty house, I realized that I now had about a dozen bags full of heavy groceries, one very hungry toddler, one extreemly loved Bear, one new 'board book' purchased during our shopping excursion, one purse, one kid size sippy, one momma size sippy, a heavy set of keys & a partridge in a freakin pear tree!
I digress...
So, since I am always fairly prepared for shit like this, I immediately pick up my cell phone to dial Ruby's babysitter down the street to see if she can just come lend a hand with miss Cheeks so I can get our goods into the house sans difficulty.
Well, it was a brilliant idea, had she been home where she should've been rather than AT THE BEACH WITH FRIENDS!
*sigh*
Ok, on to plan B: used cell phone again to call my sweet neighbors from across the street. Jason & April are a-damn-dorable & they both adore Ruby.
Ring... (c'mon, please be home) ring... (omg you've got to be kidding me!) ring...
*click* Hello?
Oh my GOD you're home! *dig it*
So Jason & April are more than happy to come over & occupy miss Ruby Rubes while I bring in the bags... and even mister cutie pie Jason helps me with a few himself!
*I love my neighbors!*
So, you're thinking " big deal Amy, you got people to help you, doesn't sound like much of a challenge to me..."
*patience is a virtue*
So, once saying a big fat THANK YOU to Jason & April, we head upstairs & Ruby shuts the door for Momma and in the house we are... groceries, tired looking 'Bear' & all.
I get Ruby settled in with her blankets, Bear & a sippy & her newest favorite show PEEP and the Big Wide World and off into the kitchen I go to prepare tonight's dinner & dice peppers, onions, baby bella mushrooms, garlic, sausage etc... for the freezer.
Ruby's happy, I'm in my 'element' and all's right with my world...
...all's right until I hear,
"Uhoh, Momma?... Momma?!"
*cries*
I run to her side only to be bowled over by a smell unlike any other.
Dead fish covering rotten skunk carcas sprinkled with worms WOULD'VE SMELT BETTER THAN WHAT I ENDURED MY FRIENDS!
I immediately pick up my daughter only to feel that her toosh seems a bit 'damp'.
*I use 'damp' because to call it a soupy mess would just be gross, wouldn't it?*
I run her into the bedroom & slowly, AND I DO MEAN S-L-O-W-L-Y take her clothes off one layer at a time.
If there was such a thing as a shitsprayer bottler, imagine if you will someone holding my child hostage until EVERY INCH OF HER ADORABLE LITTLE SELF was COVERED AND THEN dress her & wait to see how challenging the removal of said outfit will be.
FUN WITH A CAPITAL 'F' MY FRIENDS!
*psst, I'm lying!*
There's NOTHING FUN about a good old fashioned
ASS-PLOSION!
HOLY DISGUSTING BATMAN!
So, literally, and I do mean LITERALLY, 32,000 WIPES *give or take a few* & LOTS OF STRATEGICLY PLANNED HAND MANEUVERS LATER, my child is not only CLEAN but she's stark nekkid as there wasn't one stitch of clothing salvagable.
GOOD LORD!
She's lucky I love her, that's all I'm saying.
All's well that ends well yes?
I mean after all, I did manage to not only get the pasta figioli finished but I put all the groceries away, made my 4 batches of frozen 'risotto' fixin's for future use, dressed my child & then fed her dinner, emptied & reloaded the dishwasher, made the twins breakfast for the morning & got their sippies ready, got my water in my kettle & my tea/sugar in my teapot all ready for the boiling water come morning.
Christ knows I HAVE to have my pot of 'get-the-hell-up' or I'm useless & three small children will be left to flounder & bounce around like fish out of water.
*that would be bad*
Now, I'm beat, exhausted, wiped out, drained...
... just plain tired.
Ugh.
All I can say is:
T G T F!
(thank goodness TOMORROW'S FRIDAY!)
G'night!
Twins came promptly at 7:15am, had a 'textbook' day as far as childcare, games, books, puzzles, meals, diaper changes, naps, etc...
Fastforward to tonight around 5ish-
Ruby & I set out to get a few things at the grocery store.
Nothing big, essentials to make my pasta fagioli, fresh veggies & sundried tomato sausage to dice/chop & freeze in individual ziploc bags for future use when Risotto is calling my name.
No big deal right?
Not so much...
Upon arriving home to one very empty house, I realized that I now had about a dozen bags full of heavy groceries, one very hungry toddler, one extreemly loved Bear, one new 'board book' purchased during our shopping excursion, one purse, one kid size sippy, one momma size sippy, a heavy set of keys & a partridge in a freakin pear tree!
I digress...
So, since I am always fairly prepared for shit like this, I immediately pick up my cell phone to dial Ruby's babysitter down the street to see if she can just come lend a hand with miss Cheeks so I can get our goods into the house sans difficulty.
Well, it was a brilliant idea, had she been home where she should've been rather than AT THE BEACH WITH FRIENDS!
*sigh*
Ok, on to plan B: used cell phone again to call my sweet neighbors from across the street. Jason & April are a-damn-dorable & they both adore Ruby.
Ring... (c'mon, please be home) ring... (omg you've got to be kidding me!) ring...
*click* Hello?
Oh my GOD you're home! *dig it*
So Jason & April are more than happy to come over & occupy miss Ruby Rubes while I bring in the bags... and even mister cutie pie Jason helps me with a few himself!
*I love my neighbors!*
So, you're thinking " big deal Amy, you got people to help you, doesn't sound like much of a challenge to me..."
*patience is a virtue*
So, once saying a big fat THANK YOU to Jason & April, we head upstairs & Ruby shuts the door for Momma and in the house we are... groceries, tired looking 'Bear' & all.
I get Ruby settled in with her blankets, Bear & a sippy & her newest favorite show PEEP and the Big Wide World and off into the kitchen I go to prepare tonight's dinner & dice peppers, onions, baby bella mushrooms, garlic, sausage etc... for the freezer.
Ruby's happy, I'm in my 'element' and all's right with my world...
...all's right until I hear,
"Uhoh, Momma?... Momma?!"
*cries*
I run to her side only to be bowled over by a smell unlike any other.
Dead fish covering rotten skunk carcas sprinkled with worms WOULD'VE SMELT BETTER THAN WHAT I ENDURED MY FRIENDS!
I immediately pick up my daughter only to feel that her toosh seems a bit 'damp'.
*I use 'damp' because to call it a soupy mess would just be gross, wouldn't it?*
I run her into the bedroom & slowly, AND I DO MEAN S-L-O-W-L-Y take her clothes off one layer at a time.
If there was such a thing as a shitsprayer bottler, imagine if you will someone holding my child hostage until EVERY INCH OF HER ADORABLE LITTLE SELF was COVERED AND THEN dress her & wait to see how challenging the removal of said outfit will be.
FUN WITH A CAPITAL 'F' MY FRIENDS!
*psst, I'm lying!*
There's NOTHING FUN about a good old fashioned
ASS-PLOSION!
HOLY DISGUSTING BATMAN!
So, literally, and I do mean LITERALLY, 32,000 WIPES *give or take a few* & LOTS OF STRATEGICLY PLANNED HAND MANEUVERS LATER, my child is not only CLEAN but she's stark nekkid as there wasn't one stitch of clothing salvagable.
GOOD LORD!
She's lucky I love her, that's all I'm saying.
All's well that ends well yes?
I mean after all, I did manage to not only get the pasta figioli finished but I put all the groceries away, made my 4 batches of frozen 'risotto' fixin's for future use, dressed my child & then fed her dinner, emptied & reloaded the dishwasher, made the twins breakfast for the morning & got their sippies ready, got my water in my kettle & my tea/sugar in my teapot all ready for the boiling water come morning.
Christ knows I HAVE to have my pot of 'get-the-hell-up' or I'm useless & three small children will be left to flounder & bounce around like fish out of water.
*that would be bad*
Now, I'm beat, exhausted, wiped out, drained...
... just plain tired.
Ugh.
All I can say is:
T G T F!
(thank goodness TOMORROW'S FRIDAY!)
G'night!
3 comments:
omg Amy:
I wish I was living closer to you. Ruby Cate and my girls can play while Mama can go out and do her thing without any worries.
Or call me and I would have love to unload your groceries.
Please take care and give Ruby Cate a big hug and kiss
Sherrie in HB
Ah, the 'plosion. Good times, friend, good times. Since you're a pro at it now, I know who to call when our 'lil darling lets it all hang loose (pun intended.)
~Auntie K and Gen
Whew...what a day! All that and you still got the cooking tackled. I'm gonna have to get some better organizational skills.
Hey....I also got bloglines to recognize you (finally) so ignore that question I sent ;0)
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