Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Tuesdays With Uncle Steve... *FINAL UPDATE*

...POT ROAST BABY!

Ingredients:

4 T butter
Beef Round Roast
(bottom of the round)
Mine's a 7 & 1/2 pound er & cost somewhere in the neighborhood of $18 bucks!
( cook 20 minutes PER POUND!)

1 can Campbell's french onion soup (plus 1 can water)
1 Spanish onion chopped
1 pkg portebella mushrooms cubed
2 cloves garlic minced
1 pkg baby carrots cut into little circles
Few shakes around pot of Gravy Master
Salt & Pepper to taste

Directions:


In large soup pot on medium high heat, add butter & let melt.


Rinse off the roast & have ready to toss into pot...

Add into pot & brown each side of roast...
(few minutes on each side)


Should look like this (above) once sealed on a side, do this to ALL SIDES.


Add Salt & freshly ground pepper



Then if you're smart, (like me)
you'll have all your veggies chopped & READY
so when it's time, you can just TOSS EVERYTHING INTO POT with Roast!
(you can't see them all but the chopped onions are on the very bottom, then the mushrooms, then the carrots & if you look close enough, you can see the little mountain of minced garlic at the very top... Mmmmm SO GOOD!)


After adding veggies add your can of soup plus one can of water.

Give a stir with a wooden spoon
& make sure all the veggies are either around the roast,
or towards the bottom of the pot.

Then reduce heat & cover pot.
Every half hour or so, turn the roast inside the pan & give the veggies a stir.

Now this monster is a bigg'un SO it's gonna take
roughly 2 & 1/2 hours to cook him.

Honestly, the longer & slower you cook a roast, the more tender he becomes...

...GOOD GRAVY THIS IS GONNA BE YUMMY!

(And oh yeah, speakin' of GRAVY, there WILL be more pics to follow
cuz once this guy is totally cooked, I'm going to turn those veggies into a
yummy, dark & delicious HOME MADE GRAVY to be served over
smashed potatoes! *drooling*)

Stay tuned...

Ok, it's about half way into my cooking time &
look at how BEAUTIFUL our friend here is turning out?!
It's about now when I shake in some Gravy Master for added flavor
as well as a deeper color later on when making the gravy!
Mmmm too bad blogs can't portray SMELL!
Smell-O-Blogging, what an IDEA!
You people would NEVER LEAVE THIS PLACE!
hehehehe
LOL

T-minus 15 minutes to dinner!

And what does miss Ruby have to say about all this?
"Momma, Rot Post!"

That's right, my daughter just referred to our dinner as 'ROT POST' hehehe
You know it baby, let's go eat some ROT POST!
*grin*
Oh and don't forget...
I WILL take & post a photo of a finished meal on a plate once done, I PROMISE!
After all, how often does one get to enjoy Rot Post with her daughter?
*smile*

Oh yeah, YOU KNOW THAT SHIT WAS GOOD!
My father made his Italian peas & pancetta, SO YUMMY!
(can't give you that recipe, cuz then I'd have to kill ya...)

And the TRUE test of my work?
Ruby cleaned her plate... so I guess that means she gives it:

"TWO SPOONS UP!"

Psst... the gravy was made by adding two packets of 'brown gravy mix' (sold in individual little pouches) and adding more gravy master & some Wondra flour until the desired consistency.
Bon Appetit'!

If Santa answered his mail honestly...

...letters might look a bit like the following:




Dear Santa
I wood like a cool toy space ranjur fer Xmas.
Iv ben a gud boy all
yeer
yer Frend,
BiLLy


Dear Billy,
Nice spelling.
You're on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about
I send you a friggin' book
so you can learn to read and write?
I'm
giving your older brother the space ranger.
At least HE can spell!

Santa

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year,
and the only thing I ask for is

peace and joy
in the world for everybody!

Love,
Sarah


Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you,
didn't they?

Santa

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this,
but for Christmas,
I'd like for my
mommy and daddy
to get back together.
Please see what you can do?

Love,
Teddy


Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the baby-sitter
like a screen door in a
hurricane.
Do you think he's gonna give that up
to come back to your frigid
mom
who
rides his ass constantly?
It's time to give up that dream.
Let me get
you some nice Legos instead.
Santa

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike,
a Playstation,
a train,
some G.I. Joes,
a dog,
a
drum kit,
a pony
and a tuba.

Love,
Francis


Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?
I bet you're gay,
I'll set you
up
with a Barbie.
Santa



Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree,
and I left carrots for
your
reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan


Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs
and carrots make the deer fart in my face
when
riding in the sleigh.
You want to do me a favor?
Leave me a bottle of
scotch.
Santa



Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year?
Are you busy making
toys?
Your friend,
Thomas


Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China.
I have a condo in Miami,
where I spend
most of my time making low-budget porno films.
I unwind by drinking myself
silly
and squeezing the asses of cocktail waitresses
while losing money at
the craps table.
Hey, you wanted to know.

Santa



Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping,
do you really know when we're
awake,
like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible or are you just a Blonde?
Good luck in
whatever you do.
I'm skipping your house.

Santa



Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year.
Please please please PLEASE

PLEASE
could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whinny begging shit may work with your folks,
but that crap
doesn't work with me.
You're getting a sweater again.

Santa



Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house,
how do you get into our home?

Love, Marky

Mark,
first, stop calling yourself "Marky",
that's why you're getting
your
ass whipped at school.
Second, you don't live in a house,
you live in
a
low-rent apartment complex.
Third, I get inside your pad just like

the bogeyman does, through your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa


(hee hee, that was sent to me in an email from my friend Jen and I laughed SO HARD I nearly wet my pants! HAD to share it here & don't anyone bitch about "oh, it offended me", IT'S MEANT TO BE FUNNY, HAR HAR, GET IT?)
Laughter is good for the SOUL!

Monday, December 11, 2006

Ode' To A Cookie...



...Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
your sprinkles make my lips so green...




Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
We got you at the bakery...




You are so soft and tasty,
Your layers moist & flaky...




Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
My fingers are so green you see...




Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
I ate you cuz you're yummy...





Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
You are now in my tummy...




There are no more- you were the last,
I ate too much, I now have gas...




Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
Oh Christmas Tree (cookie)
The green that won't wash off of meeeeeeeeeeeeeee!



*thank you, thank you very much...
Green Ruby has left the blog!*

Two Kinds of Magic...

...courtesy of faux candlelight.

These are the 'candle window lights' I put in my windows every year since first moving out on my own. They're plastic, the color of butter & slightly cheezy with the fake wax drippings to boot.
But I love them.

Ruby, too, loves them & LOVES going around the house at night with me to turn each & every one on.
It's a little routine we've developed together & although we DID do it last year, I'm sure she doesn't remember all that much, but THIS YEAR, she's totally ON BOARD!

We hold hands, Bear at the ready, and off we go, one window at a time... each light, Momma turns the bulb just enough to ignite a 'flame' and each time, "*GASP* MOMMA! LIGHT! OOOOHHH!" as if she's never seen it happen before.
To her, it's magic...
...to me, she's magic.


Embarrassing With A Capital... *UPDATE* (see bottom)



...PERM!

Oy, this picture speaks for ITSELF...

Clearly common sense does NOT A JUNIOR IN HIGH SCHOOL MAKE!
(at least when it comes to HAIR)

Oh, and speaking of hair, c'mon ladies of the 80's... and I KNOW THERE ARE PLENTY OF YOU OUT THERE, WHAT was your GLUE OF CHOICE when it came to your DAILY DOO?
*don't deny it, if you've ever loved def leppard or gone to a Duran Duran concert, OR enjoyed that freakin' flock O seagulls or couple's skated to REO SPEED WAGON, THEN YOU HAD BIG HAIR, PERIOD END OF DISCUSSION!!! So SPILL IT!*

HEHEHEHEH

I tried to Google (images) my hairsprays past (ie: Stiff Stuff and Freeze It) but no such luck, sadly. I can still see them like it was yesterday... both in long yellow aerosol cans, both always ready to freeze the shit out of my lethal bangs, and both, for some odd reason, ALWAYS nearly empty, what WAS up with that anyway?
Unfortunately, I came up with NADA... so sad- but trust me, that stuff WORKED!

Quick, let's lament about 80'S HAIR & I'll run & get the 'BOSTON' & 'Steve Miller Band' cd's!
*grin*
hehehehehe

UPDATE: my dear friend JEN would like us all to refer to her previously posted PROM PICTURES of her & our friend Deidre, also juniors at the time said photos were taken.
Yes we all went to the same satanschool, yes we all hated it, yes we all used too much hair product... BUT the best thing? We're all STILL FRIENDS so many moons later, and that you just can't put a price on, well maybe Di could, but let's not & say we did, k Di? *grin*

LOVE YOU GIRLS!
hehehehe

P.S. (All's fair in love & prom pics)

Yep... it's blurry, but it's me.
*sigh*
Yes, to answer your question, that WAS INDEED a wedding dress I wore to prom.
(you may laugh now...)

Sunday, December 10, 2006

"Aunt Corn"...

...so often times, Ruby is in my bedroom with me playing.
She's got her fair share of toys in here & that's ok with me.
I had just gotten out of a shower & was getting dressed and as I am pulling on my toasty cotton "fun pants" (as Ruby loves to call them), I notice her reaching for something under my bed.

Now, those of you who know me KNOW that that's probably not a good idea since you really NEVER know what's gonna be under there to take a bite out of you!
I say to her, "Ruby honey, get out from under Momma's bed, ok baby?"
She says to me, "Momma, Aunt Corn!"
*puzzled look* "Ah, sweetie, what did you say?"
Ruby smiles & says again, "Momma, Aunt Corn!"

Ok, now I know you don't have a vegetable for an aunt but I'm intrigued, so I'll bite...

"Sweetie, who's Aunt Corn?"

Ruby then holds up a Caruso Hair Roller high above her head & proudly exclaims,
"Aunt Corn! Aunt Corn!"

*smiling & a bit teary at this point* Awwwwww sweetie, you're right, that IS Aunt Karen's hair roller... she must've left it here from her visit baby.

Yes, my daughter who has no idea that her beautiful Aunt Corn who wore the rollers in her hair, is now her beautiful Aunt Corn, who wears soft toasty cashmere cable knit hats on her beautiful bald head.
Something tells me that once Ruby returns said red roller to her beloved Aunt Corn come Jan... that Aunt Corn just might save those rollers for another day.

I'm proud of my daughter for remembering her Aunt Corn (her way of saying Karen) via way of something as simple as a little red hair roller...
...and I'm even more proud of my friend Corn, ah, I mean Karen, for having the nuts to take her own hair before Cancer even had a chance.

Girl, you're so wonderful if you really were corn, you'd be POPCORN!
Because, just like popcorn, you too are loved by everyone!
(although don't go slathering butter on yourself... trust me, it can get messy!)

;)

XoXoXo
-AhMeeMee


You've heard of a 'do-over'...

...well, consider this a 'SOUP-OVER'!

Ok, so you remember that chicken taco soup I made the other night?
Well, I was bored tonight & craving it again for dinner
but didn't have the bacon SO, I fiddled with the ingredients to suit what I had in the house and OH MY GOOD GRAVY DID IT COME OUT WAY BETTER TONIGHT THAN EVER BEFORE!

Below is the new REVAMPED RECIPE and seriously,
TRUST ME WHEN I SAY TRY IT THIS WEEK!
You won't regret it!

Chicken Taco Soup... (Momma Style!)

Ingredients:
EVOO (few times around the bottom of a large soup pot)
1 Spanish onion chopped
1/2 red onion chopped
2 lg cloves garlic either minced or chopped
(tonight I chopped although normally I mince,
was just too lazy to get out the mincer again & get it dirty, it's sort of a PITA to clean!)
salt & pepper to taste
1 pkg (3 large) boneless chicken breasts, cut into bite size pieces
1 box of 'TACO BELL' taco dinner kit
(contains 8 corn taco shells, 1 season packet & 1 sauce pouch)
1 large can CRUSHED tomatoes
1 & 1/2 cups chicken stock
1 brick sharp cheddar (or cheese of your choice) freshly grated
1 lime cut into wedges
small container sour cream

Directions:

In large soup pot go several times around with EVOO over medium high heat.
Chop onions & garlic & throw in.
While they're cooking, cut Chicken up into bite size pieces & add to pot, stirring occasionally.
Once chicken is almost fully cooked, add spice packet & mix well.
In another five minutes, add sauce packet & again, mix.
Then add the crushed tomatoes & chicken stock.
Stir & lower heat a bit & let cook.

Then get to work grating your block-O-cheese & set it aside.
Take the 8 corn taco shells & put into ZIPLOC bag & BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF THEM till they're all crushed into bite size pieces.

In each bowl, add a hand full of corn tortilla pieces, a hand full of cheddar cheese on top & with a large ladle, gently pour piping hot soup OVER tortillas & cheese.
Squeeze a little lime all over top & garnish with a large dollop of sour cream.

SERVE & ENJOY!

Seriously, I am not a very huge Mexican fan but once in a blue moon do I REALLY get a craving for it, tonight... the moon was BLUE!

*grin*

I would've taken pics to show you all but can't find what I did with my digital camera. LOL Trust me, it looked VERY DELICIOUS & tasted EVEN BETTER!

MANGIA TUTTI!

Good LORD...


...CATHERINE, YOU CAN'T JUST SHARE A YUMMY PICTURE LIKE THIS
WITHOUT TELLING US
HOW YOU MADE THESE
DELICIOUSLY EVIL LOOKING
LITTLE DISCS FROM
CHOCOLATE PRETZEL HEAVEN!
OMG!!!
DO SHARE, DO SHARE!
(please?)

-Amy & Ruby Cate
(If I find round pretzels that can be ordered online, I'll SEND YOU THE LINK! So far, all I managed to find were these square pretzels...)


As Ruby Grows...


(Top: Christmas 05') (Bottom: Christmas 06')



...so does the TREE!

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Who Needs Mistletoe...

Christmas Bear...

Missing a friend...

Decorate...

Just for shits & giggles...

...check THESE out!
LMFAO



Ruby Cate --

[adjective]:

Sexually stunning



'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Nice, my kid's only TWO & already she's sexually stunning?
Good Lord HELP ME COME TEENAGE YEARS!
*sigh*




Amy --

[adjective]:

Similar to butter in texture and appearance



'How will you be defined in the dictionary?' at QuizGalaxy.com

Sadly, this is probably true. LOL
But hell, who doesn't love BUTTER?
*grin*

Friday, December 08, 2006

Strange...

...8:34pm phone rings

Me: "Hello?"
Matty: "HEY BABY! HOW'YA DOIN' TONIGHT?"
Me: (surprised) "Uh, I'm good Matty, how bout you?"
Matty: "Aw baby I'm good, listen you wanna snuggle up & watch a movie tonight? Cuz uh, I got this movie I haven't watched yet & I think we should watch it, ya know?"
Me: (me thinks he has perhaps had one drink thus far, possibly two) "Uh, sure Matty, you can come over, I'm just reading..."
Matty: (interrupting) "GREAT! So I'll be over in like a few minutes ok? All right Amy, I can't wait, here I come baby!" *click*

Now, I've been friends with Matty long enough to know that this coming over is neither A.) a good thing, nor B.) the smartest thing to do on a work night... but I digress.

So, minutes pass & nothing happens.
I call to make sure he is aware that the walk is slightly icy & to be careful when coming up the front stairs.

*ring,ring*
Matty: "Hello?"
Me: "Hey hon, it's just me, listen I was just calling to tell you..."
Matty: "Awwww c'mon Aim, you know I'm coming over right now, jeesh!"
Me: "Ah, actually Matty, I know that but that's not what I was calling, I was CALLING because I want you to be aware of the icy front walk way so as to avoid slipping & falling..."
Matty: "Aw Aim, you're a doll, do you know that? Aren't you a sweetie!"
Me: "Yes, I know... just be careful."
Matty: "I'm on my way baby!"
*click*

Now, not that I'm counting or anything but that's TWICE now that he's hung up without saying goodbye. Isn't alcohol fun?
*NOT*

I proceed to get back involved in my book I'm reading and literally maybe a minute IF THAT goes by & 'SLAM' the front door shuts, followed by footsteps up my front stairs.
*knock knock*

Me: "Come In..."

*silence*
*rustling noises like he's trying to fumble with his coat or something*

*knock knock*
(rolling eyes)

Me: "Yes Matty, COME IN..."

~Enter Matty~

(he looks incredibly adorable, smells even better than he looks & walks directly over to me (seated on the couch with my book) and reaches down, grabs me in a hug & kisses my cheek & says "Hi Baby! I'm so happy to be here, I'm in such a good mood tonight!"

Me: "Yes, I noticed..."
Matty: "Ok so look I have this movie (pointing to movie) but we don't have to watch it if you don't want to, I really just wanted to hang out with you and it doesn't matter what we do really. Although we probably should watch the damn thing since I've had it for like days & I brought it with me to Jack's house but we never fuckin' watched it either so maybe it's a sign, maybe it's a shit movie & we shouldn't watch it either. Hey do you still have those Dane Cook CD's? Let's go curl up in your room & just shoot the shit while listening to him, he's a funny fucking bastard isn't he Amy? *hugs me again* BABY YOU'RE SO CUTE TONIGHT, I'M SO HAPPY TO BE HERE! Did I tell you I'm in like the best mood?"

(this run on sentence continues for what was probably the longest ten minutes of my life...)

Me: "Ok, well why don't we go curl up in my room & chat, I'd love to finish listening to Dane Cook, you know I love listening to him with you.
Matty: "Awwwwww, you do honey, really?"
Me: "Yes, you know that. Ok so let's go..."
(grabbing his hand to lead him into my room, he's fairly steady on his feet, perhaps I've misjudged him, perhaps he really is just in a good mood, who knows... )

*enter my bedroom*

Me: "Ok, do you remember where we left off, cuz I don't"
Matty: "Oh I dunno, fuckin just play it from anywhere, it's all good!"
Me: "Ok..."
(playing DC's CD's *grin I love saying that* hehehe and getting comfortable sitting on the bed)

We spend at least an hour or two listening to his comedy but when I say to you that the run on sentence didn't stop for Dane Cook, I'm not kidding.

Matty was REELING on life, not sure why, not sure what caused it, but he was just in a good mood. He was sweet, held my hands almost the whole time, kissed me a few times on the forehead, cheeks & lips but all gentle sweet kisses.
(the kind that girls remember more so than the sloppy 'typical guy' kisses, ya know?)
We get all toasty & he literally talked the entire time, about lots of things (most of which I forget already, thanks MS, always lookin' out for me *grr*)

We lay there just relaxing, he finally slowed his mouth down & then within seconds of stopping talking, he fell asleep.

Nice, so here I am listening to Dane Cook (who, by the way, is the funniest fucking bastard on the face of the planet *next to my JACK BLACK* when you can actually HEAR HIS JOKES because nobody is trying to TALK OVER HIM) and Matty's sound asleep and so I just curl up with him a little & let him zonk out for a few because I have this feeling that he just needs to rest before I send him home. I know he has to work in the morning & I know how early he gets up, but a little cat nap here curled up with me can only help him in the long run.

10:45pm *Matty slowly wakes up*

Me: "Hey, you ok?"
Matty: "What fuckin' time is it?" *groggily searching my bedroom for a clock*
Me: "It's quarter of 11. You ok to drive home?"
Matty: "Yes Amy, I'm fine I just gotta get home & get to bed, I have to work in the fuckin' morning..."
Me: "Ok, c'mon, I'll walk you out..."

*walking to living room*

Matty: *hugging me* "Aim, you're the best you know that? I love you"
Me: "Matty, I love you too... and you're not so shabby yourself. Now drive safe & get to bed."
Matty: "I'll talk to you tomorrow k?"
Me: (knowing that I won't talk to him again till probably next week sometime) "Ok luv, you got it..."
Matty: "G'night Amy, thanks for... uh, thanks."
Me: "You're welcome hon... g'night"

And that was that & here I sit relaying it all to you people...

...just like I said; Strange.

You've got questions...

...I've got answers!

My family & friends have been recently asking me;
"What can we get Ruby for Christmas?"
Honestly, Ruby really does not need clothes at all &
with her Early Intervention coming along SO WELL,
I asked her E.I. worker, Lisa for a few suggestions:


So without further ado,
I give you educational suggestions provided by:
Melissa & Doug


Melissa & Doug Lacing Beads in a Box


Melissa & Doug Primary Lacing Beads



Melissa & Doug Geometric Stacker


Melissa & Doug Pound -A- Peg




Melissa & Doug Pound and Roll



Melissa & Doug Bear Dress Up

Melissa & Doug Vehicles Sound Blocks

Melissa & Doug Stack and Rock Pals

Melissa & Doug Tools Chunky

Melissa & Doug Construction Chunky

Melissa & Doug Color Puzzle Cards

Melissa & Doug Mailbox and Mail Set


Melissa & Doug ABC Chunky


Melissa & Doug Jumbo Numbers Chunky


Melissa & Doug Latches Board

Melissa & Doug Children Around The World Lacing Puppets w/Tin Box

Melissa & Doug Children Around The World Floor Puzzle