Tazmanian Devil's got NOTHING on my twins!

And this is only after about a 20 minutes... LOL

If I had a tub I'd say this is a 'calgon' moment...
but since I don't, I'll settle for a hot shower & 3 napping children.

Questions to test your limits...

... answer them all, answer none, answer just a few, answer only one, whatever you're comfortable with. Being honest with yourself is brave, being honest with yourself in a shared public forum is heroic. Where are my heros?


What is the single greatest act of kindness you have ever received from a stranger?

What one experience do you most desire that you haven't yet had?

What do you hate most about ambitious people? And like most?

What is your biggest pet peeve?

What experience do you have the greatest fear of?

What part of your day-to-day life requires the most patience?

When were you most and least selfish?

What's the wildest thing you've ever done in public?

What is the thing you're best at?

When was the time that you could least believe your eyes?

What was the biggest bridge you've ever burned?

What makes you most nervous?

What is your biggest contribution to the world?

What are you most greedy for?

What makes you lose your temper most easily?

What one natural thing would you most like to see?

What is the single most beautiful word in your language?

What's the best hiding place you know?

Whose absence have you felt most in your life?

What was the best wish you ever had come true?

What is the best gift you ever received?

What was the hardest decision you ever had to make?

What's the best thing you've ever tasted?

What experience has made you wisest?

Who is the person you find hardest to please?

Who is the person you are most candid with?

Who is the person you can most easily anger?

Where was the farthest from home that you've ever felt? And actually been?

When were you happiest to come home?

Telemarketers are Comcastic...

Ok, so weirdest thing yesterday...
My house phone rings, it's 'unknown name, unknown number'
so I thought 'eh, probably a telemarketer' but I answered anyway.
The woman on the phone (henceforth known as S.B. *stupid bitch*) says...

S.B.: "hi, is this Miss Belanger?"

I was like "huh?"

S.B.:"yes, is this Miss Belanger?"

I said "Uh, NO... there's nobody here by that name..."

S.B.:"well, are you sure? I have Lisa Belanger at this number..."

I said "uh, I should hope I'm quite aware of who is & isn't in my own home thank you very much. What is this concerning anyway?"

S.B.: " Oh, she had an appointment for us to come set up her comcast cable & had the appointment cancelled & we just wanted to know why she cancelled..."

I said "well that's very interesting EXCEPT Lisa Belanger does NOT LIVE HERE!" (clearly stupid people work for comcast...)

S.B.: "Well could you check?"

I was like, "I'm sorry? Did you just ask if I could 'check'?"

S.B.: "Yes Maam, that's correct."

I hung up.

I honestly have the patience of a SAINT when it comes to most things... animals, children, family, most neighbors, select strangers etc... but THIS WAS JUST TOO MUCH!

And here's the kicker, I actually HAVE A FRIEND NAMED LISA BELANGER! Well, she was Lisa Belanger but she has since married & she took her wife's last name so she is no longer Lisa Belanger but still, even if she WAS, she's never once lived here in my home.

And let's take this one step further, let's say that at one time she DID live here with me (which she didn't)... if I say to S.B. that "No she does not live here" that should suffice, yes? One would think.
And then you dumb asses at comcast wonder why people cancel their appointments with you for service? Sadly, that should be painfully obvious!

Must've been 'weirdo Wednesday'... good times.

heh

By popular request...

... I give you:


WHITE TRASH ONSIE TIME!


*Ruby Style*

hehehe

GOOD TIMES!

A true mixed bag of fun...

... eh, well maybe not really 'fun' but a mixed bag for sure.
What exactly am I talking about, you ask?
MS.

Somedays I wake up with my hands completely all pins & needles, others it's both arms with no feeling at all.
Sometimes I stumble when I try to walk, talk, move etc.
Others I wake up feeling like I could run a marathon in
'make believe fat people can jog too' world.
(and no we don't all wear spandex there...)
It's silly cuz it's shitty & uneventful & frusterating & invisible to the average 'people watcher', but it's here, like it or hate it... it's mine.
Subcutaneous weekly shots & all.
This bad boy's all mine.
Short term memory loss,
constant feeling being overheated,
drinking water so much that I must pee a zillion times a day...
the list goes on.

On days when I actually use my handicapped placard for parking, and people watch me get out of the car without assistance and walk 'somewhat normally' into wherever it is I was headed, I feel their stare upon me. Feel them silently judging me based soley on appearances.
Probably thinking to themselves:
"Ugh, look at her! She isn't handicapped! She's probably just too lazy from being fat so she parks there. I hate those people!"

And then I carefully mount my placard atop the rearview mirror & all their silent judgemental thoughts they so quickly formed of me begin to slowly drip off their guilt ridden faces with a snails pace as they desperately try to avoid my gaze.

Shame on them.
Shame on everone who judges another in haste, just because.

Is their life so perfect that they can stand there & judge mine?

No, it's not.

Did they think for a second that maybe, just maybe, I've made monumental achievments in my 34 years so far? That perhaps maybe this 'fat girl' used to be much heavier but actually got off my ass enough to drop 80lbs?

Probably not.
Because that would require them to use those brain cells
they wasted on the cheap pot their friends sold them.
God forbid.

Nope, people are unfortunately creatures of habit & some things undoubtedly never change.

What does change, however, is my beautiful little girl.

I was watching Ruby play today, as she does every day, by running around the house, giggling, kissing (making out with) Bear, stacking blocks, doing puzzles, bringing me book after book to read, the typical daily moments of a not so typical toddler.

She smiled about a million times, she held my hand on & off just because & without being prompted from me.
She talks a blue streak when she thinks I'm not within ear shot, she loves to have 'white trash onesie time' while wearing only her ladybug rain boots & a smile.
(I love white trash onsie time, someday I'll capture it in a photo...)
She eats salad and meatloaf & loves mashed potatos and pickles...

... and she's my daughter.
All that beautiful, wonderful, amazing person is in this perfectly adorable package otherwise known as Ruby Cate.

I see her play & wonder to myself, "how long before she starts to notice when Momma stumbles on her steps or her words or her movement?
Will it matter to her that other children in the world have two parents instead of just one, like her?
Will it matter to her that her Momma has MS and other childrens Momma's are 'normal' ?
(an ugly little word I hate but we'll use it for now since it's late and I don't have the energy to make clever substitutions at the moment...)

If I teach Ruby nothing else, I hope to God I teach her self love, & acceptance & respect for herself & for others. Regardless of how they appear on the outside.
Everyone has a story to tell.
She'll have hers & I hope one day she'll learn
to sit still long enough to listen to someone else tell theirs.
I want her to know that you never judge a person till you've walked a mile in their shoes, and that to laugh is the best medicine there is.

I'm just afraid for the moment that once I make such a comment, she'll come back with:
"Momma, if laughter is the best medicine, then why isn't your MS going away?
We laugh all the time!"

If it were only that simple baby girl...

Momma would make it so.

This post is to remind everyone to think before you judge, or better yet, don't judge at all.

Life is too short for stupid shit like that... just smile alot,
stop & smell the flowers, do a random act of kindness just because, and treat others the way you want to be treated.

So, tonight, MS is my story... what's yours?
And no chance at saying you don't have one, because I just said, we ALL have a story to tell...
So, be brave because I want to hear some of yours!
So, find your courage, take a deep breath & click that comment button & share a piece of yourself...

(I'll go get the popcorn...)

Knitting & Math don't mix!

Ok, so it's come to my attention that several of you admire my knitting technique, which in all honesty, although flattering, is hysterical to me since I a.) only learned to knit last year & b.) ONLY know the knit stitch. LOL
My scarves are pretty yes, but so very simple it's outrageous!

Now, that said, if you like what I can do then hey, yeah me, right?
If people really are interested in buying a scarf for themselves, what else can I do but say... OK!

Just know that I only ever knit with This Yarn and it's obviously an easier faster project if it's one solid color.
If you want a scarf with multiple colors, it takes a tad bit more effort & time.



Also, the colors listed on the lion brand home page, however adorable & plenty, aren't always available at A.C.Moore which is where I go to get them.

The best way to get a truly unique & beautiful scarf is to just give me a few ideas for colors that you'd like together & let me pick the ones that go best with what you've described you'd ultimately like.
Trust me, I'm nothing else if not creative with an eye for what works well together.

As for the 'loopy fringe', I don't always do that... I have done a few scarves with loose end fringe but it tends to 'fray' & fast so it may end up looking messy, which is why I prefer the loopy fringe.

Now, there's the issue of what to charge. Like my post suggests, knitting & math really DON'T mix, but I'll do my best to be honest & fair with this whole thing... let's see:

The yarn is about $5 a skein, so depending on the colors you want & how many skein's I'll have to buy, it could be a cheap scarf but it could get costly if you want multiple colors. It takes about 2 to 3 days for me to crank out a solid color scarf and then the fringe usually takes an evening with some good old fashioned TiVo to go with it.
All in all I'd say that for each hand made solid color scarf, 25 bucks (which would include shipping to you) would be a fair price for material & time.
Multicolor scarves would be 5 dollars more per additional color & so on & so forth.
Make sense?



So, for instance:
1 blue scarf with loopy fringe: $25.
1 scarf with pink and orange with loopy fringe $30.
1 scarf with red, yellow, white & black: $40.

etc...

Fair enough?

If anyone is truly interested, email me & I'll be happy to see what I can do to help you out. After all, winter is right around the corner.
*grin*

I LOVE COLD WEATHER!
Happy happy, joy joy!

Coincidence... *update*

... or fate?

I love to knit, always knitting a scarf to keep my hands busy.
(...good for the M.S.)
Recently I knit over a half dozen to be sent to Italy with my parents for family & friends alike... everyone loved them, which was nice to hear.
But, here I am... still knitting. Only, this time, it's just a scarf that- when I saw the colors close together in the store, I just knew they needed to become a soft, toasty winter scarf. I couldn't quite put my finger on WHY I loved them together, just knew that seperately they were begging to become one.



So, tonight... as I'm putting the finishing touches on the scarf (my trademark loopy fringe) I was doing so while enjoying "Discovery Atlas: China revealed" on tv. (God bless TiVo!) And then, as I kept glancing up to see the tv between securing the loops, I realized that China's flag colors were nearly IDENTICAL to the ones I had chosen for this scarf. Can you EVEN? My jaw kinda dropped & I stopped knitting for a bit & it sunk in that this was a China scarf!
*grin*

I was happy as a pig in poop!
(but really, are pigs happy in poop or is that just a silly saying that unfortunately stuck?)

Anyhoo... the scarf is finished & even though I didn't quite get through the entire program *it's 2 hours long*, I did finish the scarf & am so happy at how beautiful it's turned out. Especially now that it has deeper meaning to me than just another 'scarf' ya know?

I think I know just who to give this to... can't reveal just yet on the blog who the lucky recipient is, but they'll know soon enough when it arrives on their doorstep, & just in time too... funny how Halloween is just around the corner, isn't it?
It just happens to be my favorite holiday, you know...

Oh, and as far as that program on Discovery? It's on again, check your local listings because I believe I saw several repeats on it. It's really one you'll want to tape, trust me.
Interesting doesn't even begin to cover it.


Someone asked for the code that was shown during the program...
Here it is:

S979L46

And I haven't ever sold my scarves but I suppose I am not against that if someone is truly interested in one. Shoot me an email if that's the case...

*smile*

Just some good old fashioned...

... MONKEY BUSINESS!

(in new pink monkey PJ's!)

hehehe
(for the record, monkey business before bed... ROCKS!)

And the winner is...

With only ONE WRONG, our best guessers of 'Ruby Speak' are Susan from Atlanta, GA, and Cil!
(who I'm not quite sure of her whereabouts since her blog isn't functional)
But, no matter... YOU BOTH did AMAZINGLY WELL missing ONLY ONE!
Not too shabby Susan, for a Momma in waiting!
GIRL YOU'RE READY FOR THE TODDLER SPEAK NO PROBLEM!
Now, what do they win exactly? I dunno, I didn't really give that much thought to be honest. LOL Perhaps Ruby will be so inclined to create a couple of her 'RUBY ORIGINALS' in fingerpaint & send them their way... sound like a plan?
(Susan & Cil, just email me your info privately & consider it done...)
*she really makes a mean painted mess, frame quality fingerpainting for sure!*


So, here's what she's REALLY saying when she says the following:

1. Pacle - Apple
(don't ask WHY she says it that way, she just does. LOL)
2. Tose - Toast
3. Malk - Milk
4. Baannn - Banana
5. Ohhhsss - Cheerios
6. Wawul - Waffle
7. Teeeeeee - Tea
8. Peesbarr - Peanut Butter
9. Bupter - Butter
10. Zotto - Risotto
11. Cooks - Cookie
(referring to Pizzelle's, Italian waffle cookies I make from scratch, SO YUMMY!)
12. Brockie - Broccoli
13. Caarrr - Carrot
14. Chickto - Chicken
15. Paytoh - Potato

I'm amazed at the accuracy of some of your guesses! Some were truly a little more challenging with good reason, most people never EVER think that Pacle would mean Apple, not in a million years! LOL Hell, had it not been my kid I'd have never known it was Apple.
I'd have guessed popcicle too!

SO, CONGRATULATIONS TO EVERYONE FOR YOUR FANTASTIC GUESSES!

The Evil returns...

Honest to GOD... I've seriously HAD IT with these ridiculous 'absent parent/insert toy' type toys that seem to CONSTANTLY resurface regardless of time or generation.

When I was a kid it was THIS creepy ass toy that parents thought was just amazing, yet I recall it SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME!



"Uh, Ma? I really prefer my stuffed animals NOT TO COME TO LIFE & TRY TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH ME ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP... EWWW!"
(Why am I having awful CHUCKY flashbacks?)
IF IT'S FUZZY & A DOLL, DON'T GIVE IT THE POWER OF BATTERY INDUCED SPEECH!
Christ, that's enough to send MOST OF US spiraling into a pit of therapy the likes of which you've never seen!

Thankfully my Mother was none too impressed with that evil number, thus he never made his way into the Italian house to spread his Ruxpin funk on anyone!

It's now, over 30 years later, and the marketing genius that is Hasbro, thinks that

THIS CREEPY TEDDY #2 IS JUST WHAT THE ABSENT PARENT ORDERED!



C'mon people, what ever happened to YOU reading a book to your child?
A novel idea I'm sure, but think for a second...

Can any toy EVER in the HISTORY of Toys take the place of some quality 1 on 1 time between you & your child?

Not! So! Much!

Honestly everyone... can't YOU just read to your children?
Don't sit them in front of yet another battery powered 'babysitter' to occupy their little impressionable minds so that you can get one more fax sent or one more dish washed or one more ANYTHING done.

Because I'm here to tell you that when those little impressionable children become adults & someone asks them to remember what stands out most about their childhood...
I can GUARANTEE you that it's NOT going to be the hours upon endless hours they sat in front of some stupid talking, story telling, battery sucking bear...

Life isn't that hellish that you need an electronic babysitter to occupy your child for a few minutes so you can get something accomplished.

I am a single mother who works a FULL week as a Nanny to 1 YEAR OLD TWINS in addition to my 2 year old toddler. I get my work done, I get my OWN stuff done & not ONE of those children ever needs the aid of a talking storytelling bear.
AND I take it a step further & prepare all the meals I serve them from SCRATCH!
No, I'm not claiming to be Betty freakin' Crocker, but what I AM boasting is my ability to KNOW that it's the little things like this that matter.
It's the little things that children take with them into their adulthood.
It's the home cooked meals, the stories read, the giggles shared, the time spent...
And on top of all that, when the twins or Ruby wants a story read...
I read it to them.
I do.
Me, myself & I!
And you know what? They SIT for the story!
They LOVE being read to, hell, I'M 34 AND I STILL LOVE A GOOD STORY!
Doesn't everyone?
It's something that none of us outrgows... ever.

Is whatever it is that you need to get done, really that pressing a 'thing' that you need to get 'it' done RIGHT NOW?
Can't it wait?
I mean really, is your life going to come to a screeching halt if you don't get those last dishes into the dishwasher or run that vaccum one more time?
Trust me, eventually your child will nap.
Maybe not during the day like you had hoped, but surely at night, hell we all gotta conk out at some point, yes?

Thirty years ago my Mom did those things with me, and trust me... I remember.
Everything.

Thirty years from now, if we ask our children what they remember most,
what do you think they'll say?
What do you HOPE they'll say?

Are you hoping for " Man my mom was so kewl to always let me sit & listen to that super kewl bear read me stories... Huh, what's that? How did Mom tell it?
Uh, I dunno, she never read the books to me, it was always just the bear..."

Or do you want it be a little something like this:

"My Mom used to read to me my favorite book over and over even though I'm sure it drove her a little nuts! She knew how much I loved it and no matter how many times I wanted to hear it, she'd just smile & keep on reading it because she loved me.
AND she did all the voices herself! Talk about a memory & one hell of a Mom..."


No kid is going to say, "Man am I ever psyched that I spent every weekend in front of that electronic freakoid bear thingie, those were quality stories. Oh, my mom? I dunno, she was probably busy... but oh that bear, let me tell you about the bear, good times!"


NOT!

Please people, at the end of the day, the first thing I think about isn't the stuff I got accomplished, because it's just that, stuff.

The things that stick to the roof of my mouth like really good peanut butter, are the moments my daughter & I giggled together, the stories I read her over and over that she NEVER seems to get sick of & ALWAYS appreciates my attempt at the silly voices & sound effects, the small but powerful gesture of simply her grasping hold of my finger as I push the shopping cart through the market tonight & upon feeling her touch, I look down to see her gorgeous coal colored almond shaped eyes glistening up at me with a smile so big it nearly masked her adorable ears... as she said 'Uh Voo Momma', while I'm picking out which rice cakes to buy.

Those my friends are the moments that matter not only to my child, but to me.
The time spent with them, TIME...
Not money.
Not toys.
Not clothes.

Time.

So this christmas when someone says to you "OMG have you seen that adorable new talking bear... blah blah blah? Aren't you going to get one for your child? It's the hottest new toy you know! All the mothers are trying to get their hands on one!"

Smile & politely say, "Eh, I'm pretty sure my little one won't be interested in that, anyways... she's already got a pretty good storyteller at home, and I don't require batteries."

Mealtime speak... *updated*

Ruby LOVES mealtime... she's very verbal with me about what she wants & isn't shy about asking for anything... ever!
*like mother like daughter*
The following are her words for things she LOVES to eat!
She says them often, but as you can see, they don't don't necessarily look like they should.
Can you guess what's what?

1. Pacle
2. Tose
3. Malk
4. Baannn
5. Ohhhsss
6. Wawul
7. Teeeeeee
8. Peesbarr
9. Bupter
10. Zotto
11. Cooks
12. Brockie
13. Caarrr
14. Chickto
15. Paytoh

GOOD LUCK!


*We don't eat cheetos ever. I don't eat things like that anymore,
( you can't lose 80lbs by eating things like that, period.)
So you'll never find them in my house...
Also, we don't do popcicles, only skinny cow ice cream sandwiches.
(Some of you are amazing at your guesses! Alas, try again!)

Little Women...

... for little Ruby.

One great big classic of a book...

... for one fast growing little girl with a great big curiosity for life!


Someday Ruby, once Momma teaches you how to read,
we'll tackle that one TOGETHER!
(I promise.)

Every night, without fail...

... Ruby insists on hearing THIS book.

It's an extremely sweet story and the bear kinda resembles her 'Bear'.
It definitely doesn't hurt that I make the 'sound effects' for the 'blowing wind' and the 'stormy rain' hitting the rooftop.
*grin*
If you're a sucker for a good Board Book, then I insist you get your tooshie to Barnes & Noble or right here online to Amazon.com and hook your little kidlet up with this destined to become a classic, story of love, bedtime routine, and kisses goodnight.
Ruby & Bear give it 4 'paws' up!
hehehe

And the winner is...

...Katherine Fortunato!!



Congratulations to her on the top winning bid for Elmo TMX!

Hopefully there will be one more very happy child this christmas
because of this fuzzy giggling monster.
*smile*
& FYI: I managed to get one for Ruby JUST IN CASE she decides that she may be curious enough to want one... & if not, it'll be a gift for her cousin Isabella. =)

If laughter is good for the soul...

... then the sound of my daughter's early morning laughter
is hands down, the breakfast of champions!


hehehehe


Breakfast anyone... ?


Actually these belly laughs were courtesy of her favorite new show...

Peep in the Big Wide World


It's on every morning on TLC...


... and it's the ONLY show she'll literally sit for an entire eppisode.


Personally, I think it's the duck, aptly named 'Quack', that she adores the most!

I know he's my personal favorite!
Because truthfully, he's just good solid 'funny' with a capital QUACK!

"Munch..."

Me: "Hey Ruby... you wanna have some lunch baby?"

Ruby: "Mmmm, munch Momma!"

Me: "No Ruby, not 'munch' baby, it's Lunch... LLLLunch... with an 'L'. Can you say Lunch?"

Ruby: "Mmm, munch, munch!"

Me: *laughing* "hee hee, baby you're so funny, can you even TRY to say Lunch? Let's try it..."

Ruby: "NO!"

Me: "Ruby, you know Momma doesn't like when you say 'no' sweetie, it's ok if you want to call it 'munch' but we should at least try to say it correctly. Wanna try again?"

Ruby: "NOOOOOOOOOOOO! NO!"

Me: (trying to hold back serious laughter) "Ok baby, we'll try it another time, ok? Momma loves you!"

Ruby: *giggling* "NO! NO! NO! ... Momma?"

Me: "Yes Ruby?"

Ruby: "mmmmmm Munch! Uhhh Vooo Momma!"

Me: *smiling* " I love you too baby, to China & back..."

Ruby: *giggling* "Chiii" (her word for China)

Me: "Yes baby, Momma loves you all the way to Chiii..."

*Risotto & fish is now being served at the kitchen table...*

A WHAT?@#$%?

Ok, this is a RUBY FIRST my friends!

My daughter who LOVES pants, jeans, t-shirts, going barefoot etc...

... just asked me for 'A DRESS?!##$%#$%' !


Now don't look at me like that Ruby,
you KNOW that you've NEVER ONCE EVER ASKED MOMMA FOR A DRESS!


I was SHOCKED to say the least!


Then she took it one step further & while pointing to her toes said:
"Shoes Momma!"

So at first in very 'cinderella' style, we tried her very first pair of shoes she ever wore in China.
They're cute white leather mary jane's in size 4's.

Eh, not so much baby girl, those shoes are too small.

No sweetie, really... you can't shove your feet into them.
*SHOES MOMMA!*
Baby, let's find a pair that'll fit, ok?
*wanders off to find her Green Keds that Nanna bought her*

Ok so they're not girlie shoes, not so much...

(once a tomboy, always a tomboy)

BUT THEY ARE FUN!

And absolutely made for DANCING!

Dancing & JUMPING!

GO RUBY GO!!

*honestly, never in a million years did I think I'd hear my daughter ask for a dress,
I'm still sitting here in shock*
hee hee

But for the record, she makes that dress look cute!
Tomboy sneakers & all!
hehehehe

Good Times...

... so today was just another normal day in the 'Ruby Cate' house.
Twins came promptly at 7:15am, had a 'textbook' day as far as childcare, games, books, puzzles, meals, diaper changes, naps, etc...

Fastforward to tonight around 5ish-
Ruby & I set out to get a few things at the grocery store.
Nothing big, essentials to make my pasta fagioli, fresh veggies & sundried tomato sausage to dice/chop & freeze in individual ziploc bags for future use when Risotto is calling my name.
No big deal right?
Not so much...

Upon arriving home to one very empty house, I realized that I now had about a dozen bags full of heavy groceries, one very hungry toddler, one extreemly loved Bear, one new 'board book' purchased during our shopping excursion, one purse, one kid size sippy, one momma size sippy, a heavy set of keys & a partridge in a freakin pear tree!

I digress...

So, since I am always fairly prepared for shit like this, I immediately pick up my cell phone to dial Ruby's babysitter down the street to see if she can just come lend a hand with miss Cheeks so I can get our goods into the house sans difficulty.
Well, it was a brilliant idea, had she been home where she should've been rather than AT THE BEACH WITH FRIENDS!
*sigh*
Ok, on to plan B: used cell phone again to call my sweet neighbors from across the street. Jason & April are a-damn-dorable & they both adore Ruby.
Ring... (c'mon, please be home) ring... (omg you've got to be kidding me!) ring...
*click* Hello?
Oh my GOD you're home! *dig it*
So Jason & April are more than happy to come over & occupy miss Ruby Rubes while I bring in the bags... and even mister cutie pie Jason helps me with a few himself!
*I love my neighbors!*
So, you're thinking " big deal Amy, you got people to help you, doesn't sound like much of a challenge to me..."
*patience is a virtue*

So, once saying a big fat THANK YOU to Jason & April, we head upstairs & Ruby shuts the door for Momma and in the house we are... groceries, tired looking 'Bear' & all.
I get Ruby settled in with her blankets, Bear & a sippy & her newest favorite show PEEP and the Big Wide World and off into the kitchen I go to prepare tonight's dinner & dice peppers, onions, baby bella mushrooms, garlic, sausage etc... for the freezer.
Ruby's happy, I'm in my 'element' and all's right with my world...
...all's right until I hear,
"Uhoh, Momma?... Momma?!"
*cries*


I run to her side only to be bowled over by a smell unlike any other.
Dead fish covering rotten skunk carcas sprinkled with worms WOULD'VE SMELT BETTER THAN WHAT I ENDURED MY FRIENDS!
I immediately pick up my daughter only to feel that her toosh seems a bit 'damp'.
*I use 'damp' because to call it a soupy mess would just be gross, wouldn't it?*

I run her into the bedroom & slowly, AND I DO MEAN S-L-O-W-L-Y take her clothes off one layer at a time.
If there was such a thing as a shitsprayer bottler, imagine if you will someone holding my child hostage until EVERY INCH OF HER ADORABLE LITTLE SELF was COVERED AND THEN dress her & wait to see how challenging the removal of said outfit will be.



FUN WITH A CAPITAL 'F' MY FRIENDS!
*psst, I'm lying!*
There's NOTHING FUN about a good old fashioned
ASS-PLOSION!
HOLY DISGUSTING BATMAN!




So, literally, and I do mean LITERALLY, 32,000 WIPES *give or take a few* & LOTS OF STRATEGICLY PLANNED HAND MANEUVERS LATER, my child is not only CLEAN but she's stark nekkid as there wasn't one stitch of clothing salvagable.
GOOD LORD!
She's lucky I love her, that's all I'm saying.

All's well that ends well yes?
I mean after all, I did manage to not only get the pasta figioli finished but I put all the groceries away, made my 4 batches of frozen 'risotto' fixin's for future use, dressed my child & then fed her dinner, emptied & reloaded the dishwasher, made the twins breakfast for the morning & got their sippies ready, got my water in my kettle & my tea/sugar in my teapot all ready for the boiling water come morning.
Christ knows I HAVE to have my pot of 'get-the-hell-up' or I'm useless & three small children will be left to flounder & bounce around like fish out of water.
*that would be bad*
Now, I'm beat, exhausted, wiped out, drained...
... just plain tired.
Ugh.
All I can say is:
T G T F!
(thank goodness TOMORROW'S FRIDAY!)
G'night!

Tickle Me 'ITALIAN'...

... Ok so here's the deal, through the magic of one of my best friends on the planet, I have in my possession, the following:


If you don't know who this little guy is, then perhaps you're just like me & living under a rock?!
LOL


I didn't know at all until my friend told me about him.
Now I can't say how I have one but I do... I usually have all the 'hook up's' courtesy of my Italian side but this time, it's due to my Southern side!
*grin*




Now, since Ruby isn't much of a fan of this red fuzzy guy, I figured I would just list him on ebay, make some mom's day & quite possibly her christmas as I guess these little guys are nearly impossible to come by and whatever money I make from the sale, goes into our 'ITALIAN TRIP FUND' for next June.




I haven't been to Italy in nearly 15 years... & Ruby has yet to set foot on her Nonno's soil. That is going to change this June, we're going for two weeks HOWEVER, I have to scrimp & save like a crazy person, which basically means we don't get out as much as we'd like unless it's something free. (ie: walks to the library, playing in the back yard, etc...)


But then I thought, eh... why ebay? Why not list him here? I have plenty of readers ALL with children/children on the way SO, rather than ebay, he's being listed HERE just for YOU !
All my faithful R.I.H.O.T. readers get first dibs.
I'm going to just leave it up to you all, that is if anyone's interested in him at all.


Leave me your 'bid' amount in the comments section & by weeks end, whoever has the highest bid, wins. And just like in true ebay fashion I have a COUNTDOWN TO ELMO ticker factory icon at the bottom of the blog. Bidding ends as of midnight on Sunday.
Winner to be announced first thing Monday Morning!
Oh, and if you'd rather your bid be private?

e-mail me instead!

I'll just update the comments section with an amount only
& that way, the bidders identity won't be revealed!
Ooooh this is going to be FUN!
LET THE BIDDING BEGIN!
(and if nobody should be interested in him, that's ok too cuz I can always just go back to my original plan of posting him on ebay... they're going for $150 & up!)
I don't know about you all, but that would make a nice chunk of change
to add to my Italian fund, plus it'll make me happy knowing that not everyone on the planet gets to bid on him like on ebay, but it's an event privvy only to my readers, my friends!
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
GOOD LUCK EVERYONE!

Ruby's Book Club...

... will have online *monthly meetings* with anyone interested in joining!

Standard Bookclub Rules according to Miss Ruby:

-Must either love to read or at least be willing to make yourself LOOK like you love it...

-Must have a fabulously toasty chair to plunk down into with this month's book selection as chozen by miss RUBY...

-Must not be afraid to be 'different' and chill 'in your own way' ...
( it's OK to break the rules on occasion... Momma said so!)


(I'm pretty sure that's not how one would assume a toddler relaxes in her chair, but it seems to work for Miss Ruby Roo...)
-Always have an ice water sippy handy for those thirsty reading moments...
-Always bring a friend or two...
(note her new friend DUCK in the backround on Momma's ottoman...)


And last but not least,

-FOR GOD SAKES, ALWAYS ENJOY YOURSELF!

The Devil in the White City...

Book club selection for September,
& so far, I'm LOVING it!

And in the immortal words of Ross Geller...

"... I just grabbed a spoon."


*smile*

'Stealth-Aunt'

Ok, so my Aunt Allegra (Ruby's Nanna T) is staying downstairs at my parents place while they're whoopin' it up in ITALY! (jealous like you CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE!) And truth be told, I like that she's there because honestly, if I were to have an MS attack, it's just not the smartest thing in the world to be in such a big house & be the only adult with a child in tow. So far so good & I'm probably going to be just fine as I usually am, HOWEVER, can't hurt to be safe right? So, why 'stealth-aunt' as the title to this post? Let me explain...

My aunt is fun & loud, just like me, she's KNOWN whenever she's in a room, or a house, or within ten feet or so of you, just like me. LOL So if she's loud & boisterious WHY IS IT that literally, I look outside my apartment & one minute her car's there & the next, *POOF* it's gone!?!@?!! Seriously, keep in mind that the driveway is HUGE, it's easy to hear ANYONE start a car from ANYWHERE in my cozy little apartment because I always have every window open, even if it's just a crack. HOW IS THIS WOMAN DISSAPPEARING WITHOUT ME SO MUCH AS HEARING HER START THE ENGINE?

Oh, and the car, if I showed it to you you'd say;
" Now come'on Amy, you're trying to tell me you didn't hear THAT CAR leaving?"

Yes, that's what I'm telling you.

SO, either I'm going DEAF in my 30's OR, the woman is a secret stealth bomber on a mission to make me feel like I'm losing my mind!
Guess what Leggy... IT'S WORKING!
hehehe

Seriously maybe all these years of listening to myself talk, and talk, and talk, and talk-
has ruined my hearing.
It's possible...
... I'm sorry, what was that?

Men In Trees... *updated*

" The truest thing I know about relationships is that sometimes we don't know anything at all.
You can't always get the one you want and sometimes the one you get may not be the right one at all... but if you have hope, the universe has a funny way of showing you exactly what you need.
The challenge is to let yourself be alone until the right one shows up...
but you can't hide either.
Heartbreak sucks...
but not having heartbreak sucks more.
The answers aren't in a lecture or a book but maybe if you get yourself happy, you'll find the right one.
I believe this because against all odds, I'm still an optimist.
That's the thing about love...
if it were that easy, everyone would have it.

*More Men in Trees...*

So I guess there's no easy way to move on from a relationship.
You can't flip a switch and suddenly be over it,
because the road really is full of hidden pot holes.
You can try staying in the relationship...
You can stay home and dream of the perfect unobtainable one...
But in the end, it just takes time and some Alaskan tap water
and the help of a town full of good men.
Thanks for sleeping with me Elmo."

Ok, who'se brave enough to attempt this?

L'approvazione, questa è uscita dall'ordinario per me, TUTTAVIA, ho desiderato inviare qualcosa aromatizzare sul blog una punta! Sono curioso quant0 di voi REALMENTE tenteranno di provare & calcolare fuori che cosa ho scritto, piuttosto che commento giusto su come non potete capirli… CAPPISH? Con la persona che può leggere il questo & calcolare fuori che cosa dice, i PUNTI ENORMI di INDENNITÀ e forse sorpresa trasmessa personalmente dal RUBY lei stessa! Hee Hee, BUONA FORTUNA! Ed a quelli di voi che REALMENTE PARLANO ITALIANO (sì Rina, questo li significa…) non rovinare la sorpresa per il resto di noi che devono calcolare fuori un senso tradurre questo testo con l'uso dei loro calcolatori & dei loro cervelli! hee di hee Ciò dovrebbe essere DIVERTIMENTO per dire il minimi!

CIAO!

Happy Birthday to you...

... Happy Birthday to You,
Happy Birthday Dear
RUBY!
Happy Birthday Toooo Youuuu!!!
*clapping*
YEAH!



hehehe only my kid is full of herself enough to start applauding BEFORE the song ends but just immediately AFTER hearing her NAME!
*grin* hehehe

That's my girl!

Ruby tell Uncle Steve... GO! GO! GO!

If it says the video is no longer available... be patient, because it IS available, HOWEVER I literally just uploaded it... SO, it takes a little while for it to be fully functional via the blog. Come back in a few minutes & click on it again, should be just fine. =) (& to Uncle Steve who was SO patient with constantly playing his cell phone over and over and over and OVER and OVER some more for my bossy little 'GO!' girl... Thanks! ) *smile*