Slow & Steady...

...so I went & had my one on one with the surgeon yesterday. Seems that even though I've lost the weight they told me to lose & did everything they asked, I'm still an "Apple." Who knew? So, what does that mean you ask? Well, it means that I'm still pretty 'solid' around the middle, which means that I need to lose another 20 lbs before he's comfortable operating on me. Nice. Which means that now, my surgery date is no longer May 28th, but they've moved it back to June 18th.



Now, in the grand scheme of things, OBVIOUSLY whatever is healthier & SAFER FOR ME is what I want. But to have been immersed in this journey for over seven months now, I really was looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel... and that light had a date. May 28th.

Not so much.

I know, every time I look at Ruby & enjoy the blessing that she is, I am reminded that this isn't a race, but more a safe journey to a new life, one that will hopefully be a long & healthy one full of all the happiness I have come to enjoy being Ruby's Mom.

I just hope that once I lose the rest of this weight & June rolls around, that they don't then say to me that I need to lose more weight & push it back even further to say, 2009? Ugh, how that would not be what I want to hear.

You know, I know this isn't a place for chatting about politics or religion, but I do think that everything happens for a reason and perhaps there's a reason I am now attending church again. Sure it was initially to introduce Ruby to it but it seems that now, more than ever, I'll need every one of God's graces to help me through this, for as patient as I know I can be, it's my guess that this whole process will dance on every last one of my nerves before all's said & done.
God grant me strength!

Ruby & Bear's Baptism...

...yup, you heard that right, Ruby AND Bear, BOTH got Baptized today.




Father Charles was more than understanding when he heard that miss Ruby was quite adamant on having her best friend, Bear, Baptized as well. It was the cutest thing you've ever seen & everyone in the church had smiles from ear to ear.
I think not only because Ruby was the only big girl in a sea of crying babies,
but also because she was VERY serious on making sure her friend received the sacrament too. After he was officially Baptized, (on his nose, not his forhead, quite fitting I thought...) Ruby was quick to wrap Bear in her Baptismal blanket she had received only moments earlier. It just warmed my heart all over as she hugged him & said, "There Bear, see? It's not a problem, you baptized just wike Ruby now, wets go home an have cake Bear, ok?" *hugging her friend*



But only Ruby received a candle, apparently there was some concern of a certain Bear going up into flames, so we ixnayed the andlecay. Ruby was just fine with that, I heard her whisper to him, "Issok Bear, I will share wif you, ok? Cuz I wuv you Bear."

Ah, Baptism & Bear love... what's better than that?

Oh wait, that's right, I almost forgot: CAKE!



















And last but CERTAINLY NOT LEAST, my handsome little nephew, baby J.D.
Barely a month old & he's already stolen my heart!

3 Word Sunday...

..."RUBY NO GO!"


(a formal protest to her upcoming baptism, merely an hour away...)

GOOD TIMES!

Sometimes When You Least Expect It...

...the lessons you teach your child, have a way of coming full circle.




Me: "Ruby, what did you do?"
Ruby: "Momma, it's wipstik! Ruby is so pwitty!"
Me: *smiling* "Yes Ruby, that you are... but where did you GET such pretty lipstick?"
Ruby: "Momma, is wite heah, in you pawkey book, see?" (holding up my purse as proof)
Me: *laughing now* "Yes baby, I see... did you ASK Momma if you could share her lipstick?"




Ruby: *looking slightly put out* "Mooooooommmmmaaaaaaaa, we a good team! We AWAYS SHARE, REMENER?"

Feeling quite foolish as, twas I who taught her that, I simply replied:
"You're right Baby, we ARE a team. And you are also right because teams should ALWAYS share. Thank you for reminding me Ruby."
Ruby: "S'ok Momma, sometimes you forget..."

How silly did I FEEL!

;)

Tuesday's With Uncle Steve...

...so, I know I haven't posted a recipe in like FOREVER, but there's a reason for that.
Since the beginning of this process of preparing myself for surgery, I've had to totally revamp the way I eat & how I eat & WHAT I eat & when I eat, etc...

It's fine, I'm doing very good & am excited about my bypass surgery.
Not nervous, not worried, not scared, JUST COMPLETELY & UTTERLY EXCITED!

That having been said, my cousin Steve has been a VERY GOOD SPORT about all the healthy eating & he, himself is losing weight NOT TO MENTION THE BOY QUIT SMOKING!
THREE CHEERS FOR UNCLE STEVE!!!!!!!!!!!!! THREE MONTHS & THE REST OF FOREVER, HE'S ROCKIN'!

So, tonight, since I didn't have much planned for dinner, I threw together, a "last minute soup".

No, literally, I threw this shit together at the last minute... thus:
LAST MINUTE SOUP!



LOL

I opened the fridge, looked around at my options (slim pickin's) and chose the following:

1 lg onion (rough chop)
2 lg cloves garlic (rough chop)
1/2 green pepper -stolen from my mother- (rough chop)
1/2 pkg sliced mushrooms -stolen from my mother-
leftover roast chicken (rough chopped bite size)
hand full shredded carrots -stolen from my mother-
2 celery stalks chopped
1 T chicken seasoning
1 can diced tomato's
1 can tomato soup
1 can cream of celery soup
8 sliced (pre wrapped) orange American cheese
2 cups uncooked large pasta shells
8 cups chicken stock.
Salt & pepper to taste


Ok kid's this is how it all went down: (& before any of you make a face at the ingredients, TRUST ME, I've just returned from the kitchen after sampling my soup,
and OH MY YUMMY IT'S GOOD!

EVOO in bottom of large soup pot over medium high heat.
Toss in onion, garlic & chicken & cook 10 minutes. (stir occasionally)
Now add carrots, mushrooms, celery & peppers. Mix & cook another 10 minutes.

Add both cans of soup & the can of tomato's.
Mix & cook 5 minutes.

Add 8 slices of American cheese & 8 cups stock. Mix well
Reduce heat, cover & simmer 1 hour.

Now add uncooked shells. Mix well & cook 20 minutes or until pasta is al'dente

Salt & pepper to taste.

Serve with fresh grated parm cheese & ENJOY!


LAST MINUTE SOUP... who knew?!

3 Word Sunday...

...Full Moon Rising!

(Moon provided courtesy of Muffin Man, my best friends HANDSOME boy, who one day will KILL ME for sharing this photo with the masses!) hehehe
Is it just me or is everyone else instantly hearing 'BAD MOON RISING' by John Fogerty in their heads? LOL

What, No Lightning...?

Those of you who know me, sit down.
Those of you who only know me through blog land, sit down as well...






















...Today, Ruby & I went to 11am Mass.
At a CHURCH.
And not just any church, MY CHURCH!
(yes, I have a church, it's true.)

And not ONCE did I hear a thunderbolt or see streaks of lightning zooming towards me.

I'm happy to report that, not only did we enter the building unscathed, but we left intact as well.
Intact & enlightened.
Not in the sense that one would think, but more in a, I'm doing right by my daughter sort of way.

As a child, I was raised Catholic. It's all I knew.
Sit, stand, kneel, (repeat).
I guess as a child I didn't bitch because, hey, it's what you did.
Your parents said (insisted) we're going to church... you went.

Now, as an adult of nearly 36, (ugh) I have come to realize that although I'll never really understand what people say about 'getting something out of the church', I DO understand their right to go. Honestly, I get more from quiet peaceful reflective time on my own, in my own apartment. My quiet moments with God are better than any I've ever gotten in Church, it's just a fact. I know there is a God, I believe in God, how could I not? Every time I look into the eyes of my gorgeous daughter I am reminded of how blessed I am that I get to parent this sweet little girl. That, in & of itself, is proof enough to me that God exists in this world & He does good things.

Now, nothing against those of you who are weekly church goers & 'get something' out of the experience, that's great & a part of me envy's you that, but it's just not been my experience. At least not that I've ever recalled.

Nope, now as an adult I know I'm continuing this tradition I knew as a child because I firmly believe that each child, regardless of the religious persuasion of their parents, SHOULD have some sort of feeling of belonging & a starting path to head down & once they become old enough to know how & what they want that path to take on for them in their lives, then they'll make that decision. I just think it would be a much harder thing to accomplish coming from a place of nothing, rather than a place of something.

So, something it is for us.

I will admit that, being a bisexual I have a hard time with A LOT of what the Catholic Church teaches, many times I've felt that perhaps the Unitarian Universalist Church would be a more welcoming atmosphere for me, but I digress. That aside, there is more that I do agree with in the Catholic Church than not, so I've decided we'll leave our differences at the door & agree to disagree & do all this in the name of good intentions for my daughter & her future.

In the end, whatever she chooses to do with her life & how she chooses to embrace her spiritual side, it's her choice. I won't judge, I'll just be here for guidance & always with love, for her.

You might be wondering why I chose today to take Ruby to church for the first time.
Good question.
Truth is, next Sunday, after 11am mass, Ruby is to be baptized.
I know, SO DRAGGED MY ASS on that one, but now it's time.
I wanted it done prior to my surgery & since surgery is a little over a month away,
April seemed like the perfect time.

Now, she's old enough to understand what's going to take place.
We've talked about it. She's seen the church. She's experienced a Mass.
She didn't talk or cry or complain ONCE! She was a dream child.
Perhaps it's that God was so stunned to see me in his house that even he was speechless & granted me a one day reprieve from screaming & tantrums.
His little 'welcome back' gift to me.
Who knows... whatever the reason, I am thankful...


...and hopeful.

Strangers Say The Darndest Things...

...things like, "I have one of those at home too!" (as I'm walking past a couple on a park bench, hand in hand with Ruby, diaper bag slung over my shoulder...)
OK, I'm game, I'll play along.
"Oh, is that so?" (thinking maybe he means one of those DIAPER bags, right?)

"Yep," he says. "Sept mine's all grown up now. Got one's 21 and the other's 19."

Realizing that he's CLEARLY referring to MY CHILD, I'm furious but remain kewl cuz otherwise I'd have clocked him in his big fat STUPID head! (and violence isn't top of my list of things to teach Ruby...)

"Oh." I say. "Were your children born in China as well?" (holding back this incessant urge to PUNCH the guy!)

"Nope, both from Korea. Good ones though..."

ONES? LIKE WE'RE TALKING APPLIANCES OR FURNITURE OR SHOES? GOOD LORD, AND I THOUGHT I HAD NO TACT!

I smiled politely & wished him & his wife/friend, whatever she was, a good day & we walked on. I was SO annoyed inside that I think I was even holding Ruby's hand a little too tightly. (sorry baby!)

You know, I've heard some lame ass STRANGER comments before, but that one, at this stage in the game, just THREW ME FOR A LOOP!

Who the hell did he think he was?

I'm all for adoptive families bonding over the gifts we have in our children, but WHEN IT'S DONE WITH TACT & RESPECT.

That guy?

I could have done without.

Busy, Busy, Busy...

...that's life these days in the Ruby Cate household. On top of being really busy with the new bookmyblog business, (2 orders & counting...) Miss Ruby has been going through some, shall we say, trying times as of late. Not sure what to think of them or how to even put my finger on them but they're here. It wasn't just the temper tantrum where she slapped my father in the face, twice. Or the day at the park where she felt it necessary to take her GINORMOUS bottle of BUBBLES and giggle as she called my name & proceeded to pour them over her feet, socks, shoes & all. And it certainly wasn't the time that I was trying to get a little work done & asked her three times to STOP screaming, (she does that alot around the house with Bear, but a silly 'having fun' type screaming, not the type where she's angry at the world or anything, but SCREAMING nonetheless...) no it couldn't POSSIBLY be that. But today, for me, the breaking point was when we were at the home of a local adoptive mother who also happens to teach the catechises class for Ruby's upcoming baptismal, and Ruby thought it necessary to tear this womans house APART whilst having THE MOTHER OF ALL BREAKDOWNS complete with screaming, throwing things, kicking, etc... NOT good times.

After calming her down enough to have a conversation with her (still at this woman's house mind you) I asked her why she was so upset...

Now before I tell you her answer I must preface this by saying that this woman & her husband are also adoptive parents. Their daughter, Caroline, was born in Jiangxi province, China and is currently 15 months old. They returned from China this past December & it's no coincidence that she, is who was chosen to teach me my Catechises lessons prior to the services at the end of the month.

I never just haul Ruby anywhere without first sitting down with her & explaining to her WHERE we are going, WHO is going to be there & WHY our visit is necessary.

She knew that there was a girl from China there, she knew that we were just going to visit & she KNEW that we'd leave once the lesson was over.

What I DIDN'T KNOW however, was that she was going to act out in a way that I never could have seen coming.

Ok, so back to her answer as to why this sudden behavioral uproar...:

Me: "Ruby, why are you behaving so naughty fresh today?"
Ruby: "Ruby NO WANNA GO BACK A CHINA! RUBY STAY HEA WIF MOMMA! RUBY NO GO!"
Me: (stunned that she even thought that) "Ruby, sweetie, I love you very much and I can promise you that we are NOT going back to China, and YOU, my dear, are VERY STUCK WITH ME for ever and ever and ever. Ruby, you are my favorite person in the whole wide world, remember?"
Ruby: "Yes Momma, I remener. Nayme we go home now affa I howd baby Carloine tight tight tight an gentle, ok?"
Me: "Ruby, baby Caroline wants her Momma to hold her right now but I am sure you can say hi & give her a GENTLE hug, ok?"
Ruby: "An pway wiff her toys, ok Momma? An NO GO A CHINA! Ok Momma?"
Me: "Ok Ruby, that sounds like a deal."
Ruby: "Fank you Momma. I wuv you soooo much. Fank you no Ruby going a China anymore. Ruby an Momma stay hea foreva an eva, deal?"
Me: "Deal." (hugging her so tight & hoping that my tears aren't overflowing from my eye sockets.)

I had NO IDEA that she would understand this meeting to mean that she might be given away or sent back to China. It just shows me how little I really understand about how my daughter processes her past prior to me and how much more sensitive I need to be concerning this topic because we clearly still have alot of work to do to instill in her that, for better or worse, I'm hers and she's mine, forever. Period.

Any thoughts on this one? Ideas & assvice appreciated...

Thanks.

Guess What WE Have...

...CONJUNCTIVITIS!
Yep, that's right, Rube's caught it, most likely from the kid's room at the Y,
and even though I was a NUT JOB washing my hands & hers, brought her to the doctor ASAFP for some medicine, applied it RELIGIOUSLY the 4x's a day, washed the sheets on the bed, TOSSED BEAR IN THE WASHING MACHINE FOR GOOD MEASURE, did EVERYTHING I assumed would keep me UN-CONJUNCTIFIED... I STILL GOT IT!

Damnit.


Not that it hurts or anything, but c'mon, let's get real, it's just a big pain in my arse and SO NOT ATTRACTIVE! The only UP side to us both now having it?
The HELL with the laundry... I am NOT washing sheets again & again just to have us re-funk them, ya know? ONCE THIS IS GONE FOR GOOD, and who knows when the hell that will be as I don't remember a thing at ALL about this crap, THEN & ONLY THEN will I clean this house from top to bottom washing anything that isn't pinned down & cleaning up or Junk'ed Zone.

I even missed my function last night with the Y which I was REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO!
It was an evening out, ON THEM, complete with Italian food AND a HYPNOTIST!
Who doesn't like to see a hypnotist? NOT ME THAT'S FOR SURE! LOVE EM!
(even if they never have been able to hypnotize me, not a chance, too strong willed for that...) They had raffles as well for everyone scheduled to be there, I WAS ONE of those scheduled few (apparently most of the Y staff feel that once they leave work, that that's it, no gatherings outside of work etc... don't ask, I think it's ridiculous! Anyway... so they gave away iPods & DVD players & other things.
I just know that to have gone while contagious, would NOT have been kewl.
For 1, I look awful but more importantly, I refuse to be the person who has complete disregard for other's health & just SHOW UP cuz I WANNA BE THERE! Won't do it.

It's always the parents like that, the ones with the SICK KIDS who KNOW their kids are SICK & come playing the "OMG HE IS? I DIDN'T KNOW" card just so they can drop the kid off & get two hours of workout time in. No concern at all for all the OTHER kids in our care, the ones who AREN'T sick, who have now been exposed to YOUR KID who you KNEW was sick but came anyways... selfish.

Not a fan of those parents & refuse to be like that myself... so miss the event I did & I'm sure I'll hear all about how much fun it was from one co-worker who I adore, who will give me all the dirt on the night.

So that's that, aside from looking horrendous and feeling like my eyes could burst out of my head at any second, it's Sunday morning, I've work to do on an order for BOOKMYBLOG.COM (very VERY kewl!) and then my brother is going to come over later to attempt to fix my dvd player, which if he can't, will just be one more thing that needs replacing around here. HAHAHA It's true what they say, when it rains it POURS.
But it's times like these that all I have to do is ask Ruby what happens when it rains & she'll reply: "Momma, wain neva hurt the fwowers..."* too true baby, too true.


Off to conjure up something for breakfast...



*(a saying my Nana (mother's Mom), Ruby's Great Nana used to say every time it rained & someone within ear shot was complaining about it. I think it's brilliant & LOVE that Ruby still uses it all these years later.)

3 Word Sunday...

...Red Sox Fans!

And The Winner Is...

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

It's funny, before doing the actual event that I video taped with my cell this morning, yesterday my Mom & I thought it wouldn't be a bad idea to do a few practice runs to make sure Ruby understood the concept of JUST ONE TICKET & not a handfull. We used the actual tickets that were used this morning & I SHIT YOU NOT, each time she chose a winner, EVERY TIME, it was always the same person, MICHELLE! I would mix them up THOROUGHLY and have her try again, what happened? SAME THING, MICHELLE! So, I guess Michelle, you were DESTINED to be the proud new owner of my Kitchen Bible! I hope it brings you, Julia & Daddy as many happy meals as it has us over the years. *HUGS*

All our love!

-Amy & Miss Ruby Cate (who did a GREAT job NOT ONLY picking the winner but ALSO SAYING:
CONGRATULATIONS!!!) hehehehe

In The Running... *UPDATE*

...the TICKET #'s are as follows:
*UPDATE*

New addition to the running for the Kitchen Bible: MY3MUTTS (aka: Kim)

Kim, your #'s are: 420459, 420460, 420461, 420462, 420463
*************************************************************************************


Michelle: #'s 420454, 420455, 420456, 420457, 420458

Jen: #'s 420449, 420450

Olson Family: #'s 420451, 420452

Of Masks & Men: #'s 420446, 420447

Robin A.: #'s 420453

Tiffany & Eliza: #'s 420445

I used actual Fair Tickets with numbers already on them as well as I've written everyone's name on the back of their corresponding ticket #'s.

UPDATE:
I THOUGHT that everyone had until midnight tonight, but 'chip in' had other ideas. So, to honor what I said about having till midnight tonight, if anyone wants to buy a chance for a $1., you can donate directly via paypal by clicking on the DONATE button to your right. And NO WORRIES, Miss Ruby is STILL going to pick a winner first thing in the morning! (Saturday, April 12th)

And Michelle, thank you for bringing that to my attention.
Your additional donation of $5. is very much appreciated!
Your new (additional) ticket #'s are:

420464, 420465, 420466, 420467, 420468




GOOD LUCK TO EVERYONE!

Only Two Days Left...

...till Ruby draws a winner for the 'KITCHEN BIBLE' raffle.
Remember for every dollar donated, you get one chance, so if you donated 4 dollars, you get 4 chances etc... If you wanted in on the raffle & haven't done so yet, there is still time to scoop up a ticket or two!

Ruby is VERY EXCITED to be working with ACTUAL TICKETS!
(reminiscent of our local Salem Willows in the summer AND the Topsfield Fair in the fall, in which both places require tickets for their various RIDES!)

I just hope that Ruby DOESN'T think that by picking a 'ticket' on Saturday morning that that will entitle her to ONE RIDE! I sure as hell HOPE NOT, since the only thing around to potentially ride is her tricycle & she hasn't been interested in that thing (sadly) hardly at ALL!

Golden Dishes...

...still sick again today, worse in fact but despite feeling like death's doorstep, I still have a child to care for & feed. Snack time came & miss Ruby Roo asked for 'cheezzits' and an apple. Normally, we buy Macintosh apples, my favorite. But this last time at the market, the Golden Delicious were on sale, so we bought a half dozen of those. As I slicing up the apples, Ruby notices that they're not red & asks:
"Momma, why not deese macintosh?" To which I replied: "They're not Macintosh Ruby, you're right. They are called Golden Delicious & they're a yellowy green color baby..."

She thinks about that for a few, grabs a slice, takes a big bite, smiles & says:
"Momma, I WUV GOWDEN DISHES!"

I nearly choked on my water, funniest thing so far today!
It's nice to know that even when I feel like the only contribution I've made today was to keep my couch warm, that I can still enjoy a good solid chuckle due to the brilliance of my kid's humor. Good GOOD times!

Oh, and speaking of laughing, Julie, when Tess EVER turned the water BACK ON once you shut it off & looked at you and LAUGHED as if to say, "Sorry Mom, totally fruitless, I'm just gonna do this again & again... I'm in charge remember?" I LAUGHED OUT LOUD SO MUCH SO that Ruby came running & insisted on watching the video at least four times, she digs it too, only NOW SHE WANTS TO GO PLAY IN THE BATHROOM SINK AS WELL! THANKS JULES! GRRRRRRRRRR lol ;)

I May Have Stayed Home Sick Today...

...but that in no way means that I lost my sense of SILLY!
On the contrary, with Ruby by my side, SILLY always tends to make an appearance.

Physically, I feel like someone's shoved me down 5 flights of stairs,
but emotionally? Well, I can't stop smiling OR laughing.
(though clearly I am having a hard time with the whistling...)

hehehe

Monkey Farts...

...honestly, this is the type of stuff that Ruby learns when her older cousins visit. LOL

Along Came Cassie...

...and there lies poor ole' Bear.






Need I say more?

(For those of you curious what in the hell Cassie Kitty is, check THIS out, but remember... curiosity killed the cat!)

3 Word Tuesday...

I'll preface this post by saying that I know the 'three word' gig is typically done on Sundays, however, I have good reason for sharing my first '3 word' on a Tuesday...

...allow me to explain:

I'm very blessed. Blessed in most everything I do. Blessed in the family I'm a part of, especially my Ruby who is beyond measure the greatest gift ever bestowed upon me. I'm blessed in the company I keep. People who I consider to be some of the most amazing friends a girl could ever hope for.
Blessings all around, yes?
Yes.

Today is no different...
...Today, for me, that blessing came two fold;


1st, in the form of my baby brother, who isn't such a baby anymore as today at 3:05pm, he turned 33 years old, &
2nd, in the sweet angelic form of my brand spankin' new NEPHEW, Joseph Domenic, my little brother's greatest birthday present in all his 33 years, his second child, his first son.

I can't explain to you all what it felt to hold that little guy earlier today, much was going through my head as the sweet smell of newborn filled the air around me & simultaneously put a smile so big on my face, it was hurting my cheeks. I love him so much & he doesn't even know me yet. I love my little brother so much & he's probably sick of me by now. LOL ;) (can't blame him after all those mud pie sessions, not to mention those old metal 'CLIP ON' roller skates that I 'encouraged' (forced) him to wear while being hauled down the street from the back of my banana seat bike courtesy of an old rope found in Dad's garage & me safely making the corners without so much as a scratch, while he... well... let's just say 'not so much' for him.)

It's mind boggling to me that my little brother is a father to two now. Isabella, my niece, will be 3 in October and is not only one of my favorite people in the world, she's Ruby's too. And now, little J.D. graces us all with his sweet little soul. Named for two very important men in my life, my late Nonno (grandfather in Italian) Domenico, and my father Giuseppe (Joseph). My dad was without words today as he held his namesake for the first time... moments like these make me realize just how blessed I am. That little boy, the one who carries so much history in his name alone, has his whole life ahead of him and I am blessed with the privilidge of watching him grow and blossom into whatever it is he is destined to do in this world.. and I could not be happier. Still, so many kisses yet to bestow on this kid, but for now, I'll leave you with his amazing little image taken with my not so amazing cell/camera phone.




In three words?

"Loving My Nephew..."

Who needs chocolate when I can lose myself in J.D. snuggles...

...ain't nothing better.

Don't Ask...

...but she literally made up this song today after watching an episode of Kai Lan.
Now, my first thought was "well obviously she's mimicking something she heard in the show," but I went back & watched it from start to finish & guess what?
NO SONG!
So now I'm left wondering where on EARTH she came up with this & WHAT THE HECK is she truly saying! Here's what I HEAR, you all be the judge:



"When you feewing sad, an you can cheer me up in a buck. An I can't,
an you can drop, an you can jump all around an that make me happy all the time,
an I can DO IT!"

American Idol 2021, WATCH OUT!
*grin*