Bridging The Gap...

...I'd like to share with you all a recent letter sent to Ruby's foster Mother.
(what a gift it is that I am even able to make such a connection...
sometimes, I am beyond speechless at just how blessed my little family is.)

Dear Wu Mu Hua & Family,

It is with much love that we send you this letter. First we would like to wish you a HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR! Although we are worlds apart, we are celebrating with you in our hearts as well! Ruby just crawled up into my lap as I was typing this letter to you & I asked her: "Ruby, do you remember the woman who took care of you in China? Your China Mother? If you could say anything to her right now, what would you say?" Ruby thought for a moment, and then smiled up at me & said: "Ruby say, I wuv you!" It brought tears to my eyes and makes me happy to know that she can say such sweet loving things to you, Wu Mu Hua! I will be forever grateful to you for the love and care you showed Pei Pei until the moment she was placed in my arms.

Currently we are working on using the 'potty' like a BIG GIRL! She will do it when I am always asking her to do so, but if I let too much time go by, she just goes in her 'pull up' (it's worn like underwear but works like a diaper). I have every confidence that she will learn to properly use the potty in her own time, as she does with everything else. We just have to remember to be patient with each other until then.

Ruby is a very smart little girl. Her favorite thing in the whole world is the MOON! Every night, we must look out the window & see what phase the moon is in, and believe me, she knows them ALL by their actual NAMES! So, if you are ever having a night when you are missing Pei Pei, simply look up at the moon, and know that we aren't that far away after all... because we too are looking at that very same moon.

It's amazing to me how easily Ruby picks things up & then REMEMBERS what she's learned! I never have to tell her something twice. If she's genuinely interested in something and asks me to explain it to her, I will explain it, and then she knows it, for GOOD! Our little girl is a very smart COOKIE and I could not be PROUDER!

Ruby is now a beautiful TALL 3 year old young lady who loves to do anything artistic. Whether it's sculpting with clay, or painting or drawing or coloring, she's happiest when she can be quietly enjoying all that the colors of the rainbow have to offer her. She also LOVES BOOKS & READING! We visit our local library at least once a week & always bring home new books to read together & enjoy! Ruby also is still very much in love with her Bear that I gave to her on the day she was first placed in my arms. She calls him "Bear", and she says, and I quote: "Bear best friend, Bear best friend... he's a teddy bear!". She never goes ANYWHERE WITHOUT HIM, EVER! (he even has a little seat belt for when we go out in the car!) She is 37 inches tall (3 feet, 1 inch) and weighs 32 & 1/2 lbs.
I look at her every day & can't believe that this beautiful young lady is the same sweet little baby I first laid eyes on over two years ago. Where does the time go?

I took a job at our local YMCA in their babysitting room caring for the children and Ruby gets to come with me and simply LOVES IT! It's only part time for now but I'm hoping that it will turn into full time work eventually. Until then, we're patient. Somehow, God always manages to provide us with what we need & we never go without. I feel very blessed!

Also, Ruby can speak two languages! I don't know if I mentioned this before, but my father is originally from Italy, born & raised and did not move to America until he was 19 years old. He met my mother & the rest, as they say, is history.
His first language being Italian, I asked him to please only ever speak to Ruby in Italian, and knew that she'd have no choice but to learn... and learn she DID! The two have full conversations now in Italian and it's just the sweetest thing to see! I too can speak Italian, but did not learn until I was in my teens.

I have every intention to also see to it that Ruby learn to speak Chinese as well, but so far haven't been able to find a local teacher for her. I am hoping to find one before this year is out, she turns 4 in September and I think that 4 is a good age to take on another language. So far, she's doing excellent learning the two that she's around on a daily basis... I know that she'll do wonderfully once I do find a suitable Mandarin teacher! As always, we're just a letter away so we'll keep you posted as best we can!

Wu Mu Hua, I want you to know that words can't express to you how much I appreciate everything you did for little Pei Pei when only my heart knew of her existence. It's surreal that it's been over two years since that first moment I laid eyes on her. Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for the gift of her in my life. On Nov. 20th of this past year, we celebrated 2 years together, and in honor of that occasion, I took Ruby to the mall to have professional pictures taken of her & her beloved Bear and I've sent the two photos to you along with this letter. I hope you enjoy them as much as I do! I know that for us, Nov 20th is a special day of celebration, and for you it must be a sad reminder of the day you had to say a very sudden, very sad goodbye to our girl. I want you to know that I do speak of you to her, she knows that you exist and that you were, are & always will be a very important part of her past, present & future. You helped mold her into the beautiful young lady she is today. Every Christmas, we speak of you, every holiday, you are NEVER forgotten. You are only far away in miles, but never far from our hearts. Please always know this and carry it with you in your heart as well.

You know, she asks sometimes about her little scar on her right upper arm, and I tell her that is her 'angel kiss'. I tell her of a story of when she was a very small baby in China, how one night she was so beautiful & so sweet that an angel from heaven came down just to give her a special kiss because she was loved so much. She smiles every time I tell that story & beams with love because she knows she is loved. I know you still love her very much, as you always will, as we both always will.

Anything I can do to help bridge the gap between our worlds, I am happy to do and I know that writing a little letter & sending a few photos isn't much, but I do hope that it's enough to fill you with Ruby's love from the inside out for weeks after! If you can ever manage to send an email, even if I can't understand it, I can ask Ning to help me out and so you are welcome to email me, ANYTIME, at the following address:

mom4ruby@yahoo.com

We may speak different languages but the one language we both know by heart is love,
and I'm pretty sure that language is spoken through smiles & hugs.

ALL OUR BEST TO YOU & MANY MANY WISHES FOR A WONDERFUL NEW YEAR!

Sincerely,

-Amy & Ruby Cate Pei Mu

ps. I have not forgotten about your wish to find your other little girl you fostered, the one who ended up in Spain. I am sorry to say that I have not yet been able to locate her. I wish I had better news but sadly, I do not. I won't give up & will keep trying as long as it takes.

*hugs & kisses* from our corner of the world to yours!

-Amy & Ruby

Post Holiday Wrap-Up...

...man did I have a BLAST this holiday season!

First, I want to thank everyone who sent Ruby & I a gorgeous Christmas Card!
I LOVED THEM ALL & WILL PROUDLY DISPLAY THEM ON MY FRONT DOOR FOR MONTHS TO COME!


(no lie, every year I have such a hard time parting with them,
that they tend to stay up until I 'HAVE' to take them down!)
aka: October!

Second, I wanted to share with you all some of Ruby's Christmas creations!
She proudly displays them all over our house and quite frankly,
it just wouldn't be 'HOME' without them!


Third: I'm happy to report that not only is Ruby suddenly 'ok' with using the potty,
but she's done it successfully now, TWICE!
(no, I don't have a picture of that, figured I'd spare ya!)
And because of this new development,
I have taken it upon myself to
R-E-M-O-V-E
that g##$%^$%^damn,
CHANGING TABLE
from her room!

Behold, the new space:
Ruby informed me that it's now called:
Bears Corner.
She uses the chair to sit & read Bear stories,
puts him down for naps in the little bed,
(was mine when I was a little girl, my father made it along with the matching bureau)
and that bureau is filled with Bears sweaters,
all 1,255,546,267 of them!
*laughing*

Oh, and it's funny, but even though I didn't ask for anything for Christmas,
things that I had secretly wished for had a way of finding me.
Like, when my parents completely took me by surprise
& gave me the Rachael Ray cookware set!

(pictured is only a 10 piece set, mine's 13!)

I ABOUT LOST MY TREES WHEN I SAW THAT HUGE BOX
FULL OF GLORIOUS ORANGE COOKWARE!

Soups, beware!
Amyla's now properly ARMED & READY TO COOK!

And how I was just about out of my most favorite perfume on the planet,
and got just enough Christmas money that I could splurge on a GINORMOUS BOTTLE!
(GOD BLESS BJ'S! 3.4OZ BOTTLE FOR ONLY 54 BUCKS!)
I am so so SO in love this stuff!
It makes me happy to smell like this every day
&
I honestly get more compliments on how I smell not only from men,
but from WOMEN as well!!
*evilgrin*
hehehe

AND if those two wonderful things weren't enough,
that Christmas money also managed to pay for my new enV cell phone.
It truly wasn't anything I had planned on getting because as I've said before,
I am SUCH a creature of habit & my old Nokia was fine with me.
That is, until it broke.
It's just nice that phone dying happened to coincide with the holidays...

And now, last but CERTAINLY not least... a blast from the past:

Just because I CAN'T believe how much she's grown!
(and because it happens to be one of my favorite pics of her)
Is that sweet little baby really the same big girl sound asleep next to me in my bed?

Talk about the ultimate gift.
Who needs Christmas when every morning is like opening up a present
your heart always knew you wanted.

I hope everyone is enjoying their families & friends this time of year as in every day
&
to those still waiting,
my heart waits with you
&
I pray for safe
&
speedy arrivals of your referrals!
SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Hang in there, when it finally happens it's truly going to be the moment that takes your breath away & you'll never forget it for as long as you live.
*BIG CYBER HUGS TO EVERYONE*

-Amy

Happy PAJAMA New Year!!!!!

It's hard to believe that last night was
MY 5Th annual Pajama New Year party,
& RUBY'S 3rd!

Every year we both look forward to getting fun new pj's to wear just for the occasion!

Ruby's, of course, were GREEN,
& mine were obviously RED!

There was so much going on
that I only managed to take these few pictures of us being silly
before bedtime.
Well, before Ruby's bedtime-
(I didn't get to bed till 3:30am...)
But we ALL had fun & after the second scare for me in 07'
I've come to the conclusion that I'm allergic to shellfish.
Long story, short version:
Lobster roll finger sandwich late August: severe reaction, scared me to death.
Last night's 'house lo-mein', one TEENIE bite of an even teenier shrimp: Ditto!

No more shellfish for Amyla.
BOOO HOOO
I SO LOVED LOBSTER, THIS ALLERGY IS UNFAIR!

Ok, I've purged my shellfish angst.
Feeling better already.
(kinda)

Back to PNY (pajama new year):
Jen, Elvis & the muffin man (aka: Mikhail) came over as well as Aunt Catherine and to round the evening off, we were graced with a surprise visit from one very funny, very drunk Kristen.
Gotta love the drunk pop in.
LOL

I did something last night that I don't think I've ever done ONCE in my 35 years on this planet.

I PLAYED MONOPOLY FROM START TO FINISH WITHOUT GIVING UP!

Sadly, I can't say that I was the winner, Aunt Catherine ran away with the property and the money, but Jen & I fought till the end as best we could!
(in vain, I might add, Cath's a SHARK!)

Elvis, God bless the boy, was out COLD way before midnight. LOL
With his sleeping son on his chest & miss Ruby was curled up in my bed & fast asleep as well.

We played & chatted & laughed & reminisced till the wee hours until my eyes were BEGGING me to shut them.
Four hours later, I'm up. LOL

Today, should be at the very least, interesting.
If I don't collapse mid way through it, that is.
*OyVeY*


HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE!!!
To all my friends with their precious children home,
May 2008 bring another 365 days full of smiles, laughter and fun!

And to all my friends still patiently & not patiently waiting to bring their babies home,
may 2008 bring an end to your waiting and a beginning to your 'forever family'.

*hugs* from our home to yours!

-Amy & Ruby Cate
(& Bear...)

Green With enV...

...BEHOLD!



Still learning how to use it,
but man is it KEWL!

Anyone else with enV?
(my old cell, my beloved -NOKIA- died on me sadly.
I LOVED my old phone!
When it died, I was left with searching for a new one.
Verizon is phasing out their NOKIA line sadly,
and of all their phones this was the one I could see myself having for another couple years.
Not to mention, Ruby approves the color!
*grin*
hehehehehe

Her Smile Says It All...

Chicken Set = HAPPINESS!

Hope you all had just as magical a Christmas as we did!

Christmas Eve...

...one little girl waiting patiently for Santa to come,

& finally visions of 'chicken sets' dance in her head...
(all while her best friend keeps his nightly vigil)
Shhh... I think I hear hoof steps on the roof!
*peeking*

Behold...

...A "CHICKEN SET",



A Doll House,
(a GWEEN ONE)


&

HANGERS!


hee hee

Somehow, I have a feeling I'm going to love tomorrow morning,
just as much as my sweet girl.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Anyone Want A...

...few DOZEN Christmas Biscotti's?
hehehe

From left to right: Chocolate Almond Biscotti, Cranberry Walnut Anise Biscotti & Hawaiian Fruit & Nut Biscotti
(both of those recipes are THIS ONE just add the fruits, nuts & flavoring of your choice!)
You can really get creative, as well as pretty messy!
Merry Christmas Eve Everyone!!!
*Hugs* from our house to yours!

-Amy, Ruby Cate & Bear too.

Damn that FULL MOON! *updated/photos*

I'll never understand why we have the dreams that we do.
It's early morning Christmas eve, I have to work, thus why I'm up, and I had a dream last night, so vivid, so REAL, that I woke up shaking.
No, it wasn't a scary dream, it was something of an impossibility perhaps, but one my heart always has on the back burner of possibility.

You all know I've been to Italy many times... yes?
Well, two of my biggest loves in life currently reside there still.
(and NO they're not Pizza & Gnocchis...)

One's name is Valerio, the other Pietro.

Valerio was my first true, OMG isn't it great to be alive,
kind of love.
The kind that, many years later, as an adult woman of 35,
I still smile & blush a bit when I think of him.

Over the years I have kept contact with Pietro,
but sadly I can't say the same for Valerio.
Reason being?
Pietro's wife, a complete DOLL and friendly as hell.
Valerio's wife?
*not so much*

I digress...

So, back when I was a wee girl of 13-14 years, Valerio & I were inseparable.
I have photos of he & I together that,
every now & again, I'll peek at to remember those times & bring back such wonderful memories.

Well, last night, I had a dream I was dancing at this bar with some friends I didn't know.
(first of all, I don't dance, SECOND of all, I haven't been to a bar in EONS, thus, a dream!)

The bartender gets a phone call & calls me over to say that
"that gentleman over the other side of the bar wants you to know that you're still beautiful
and asked if you were engaged?"

I'm all, huh??

I look down the other and of the bar to see this man,
standing beside a woman,
and smiling at me.

I did not recognize him but told the bartender that,
no, I wasn't engaged but to please thank him for the compliment,
trying to ignore that he had said 'still beautiful', which meant that somehow, he knew me.

I kept dancing & now had my arms around this random (but handsome) guy and asked if he'd play along so that mister 'stranger with the compliments' would leave me be.
He did, and we ended up kissing.
Heh, gotta love a dream...

Upon seeing this kiss, stranger marched down the bar to where we stood and pulled us apart & showed me his wallet, or more to the point, it's contents.
Girl trailed along side him still smiling, at this point I think to myself that she might be 'slow'...

I take his wallet against my better judgement & look inside...

and there they are;
every single picture of Valerio & I ever taken from that summer together.

And I look up, and his eyes are the same, only, he's not the 15 year old Valerio, he's a man.
I start to immediately shake and can't form one word from my mouth,
in either Italian or English.
He reaches over, grabs my hands & says
"You're still so beautiful Amy, we have both waited a long time for this..."
and he slips onto my finger, the ring we got years ago to symbolize that we were dating.
"This time," he says, "this is forever... marry me?"

I was crying like a baby and could barely stand...
this HAS to be a dream!

All at once, the woman finally spoke.
It was Elena, his sister;
"Amy, he's been searching for you for a long time, he never stopped loving you."

OMG OMG OMG OMG
My heart was racing,
I was crying,
VALERIO WAS HOLDING MY HANDS for Christ's sake,
and I thought that at any minute I could easily faint dead on the spot.



I looked up at him,


my old love,



my first love,


smiled,

and woke up.


WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?

I know it was a full moon last night but COME ON!

Now, I must disappear to work as I leave my sleeping Ruby snoring in my bed
only to have my parents take my place until she wakes up.

I either need to be far more cognizant of the moon phases,
or perhaps I should find me a new guy to date.

Either way, it'll have to wait as I'm off to work.

Peaceful...

... & quiet.
I had forgotten just how beautiful
my neighborhood can be this time of year.
I LOVE winter!

Me... SPEECHLESS?

Ok, well maybe not speechless,
BUT STUPEFIED, PERHAPS?
DUMBFOUNDED?
PERPLEXED?
AGHAST?
STARTLED,
PUZZLED?
STUMPED?
DISMAYED?
SHOCKED?
AND MOST IMPORTANTLY;
FLABBERGASTED!

Very long story, very short version:

At doctor's today, had my height recorded.

5 feet 2 & 1/2 inches



SAY WHAT BIOTCH?

NOW I KNOW YOU DIDN'T JUST TELL MY ASS THAT I'M
5 FEET 2 & 1/2 INCHES
WHEN CLEARLY IT SAYS RIGHT HERE ON MY LICENCE
(showing her licence)
THAT I'M
5 FEET 4 INCHES!
SEE?!#$%
YOU MUST BE MISTAKEN,
OBVIOUSLY YOU NEED TO DO THAT OVER!

(do over)



5 feet 2 & 1/2 inches.




HOLY
SHIT
NO F'N WAY!

(woman with the ruler)

"Yes f'n way..."

Excuse me while I take my newly short ass to a pity party for 1.
at the local chapter of the lolly pop guild.

*SNIFFLE*

=*(

Ruby's Very First...

...SNOW QUEEN!

Granted, she's not that fancy if you're talkin' REAL QUEEN.
BUT, since we're talkin' SNOW QUEEN,
THIS GIRL ROCKS!

We had such a good time making her!
Ruby named her Frosty,
appropriately enough,
and was THRILLED to use
hazelnuts for her eyes,
a little nubbin of a carrot for a nose,
and since we couldn't find sticks,
two of Nannie's kitchen utensils stood in for arms!
(& FYI: that's Ruby's special 'MARY HAT' on her head!)
When our work was down, Ruby stood back, surveyed the results, and said:
"Momma, wanna go inna house, is cowld out here!"

Now, it's raining & all that glorious snow is slowly melting away sadly.
All that means for me is that the morning commute more than likely
brings with it solid sheets of ICE EVERYWHERE,
as far as the paranoid driver can see.

GOOD TIMES!
(not)

This Is Either Really Adorable...

...or really GROSS!
How many times does my kid wipe her nose
WITHOUT A TISSUE
for crying out loud!

I made this little video to show all of you
just how WELL Ruby plays independently with her toys.
Especially her 'Little People',
of which we clearly have about a zillion.

And again as with all videos,
once you click play,
hit pause & wait for the whole thing to load before checking it out.

I really need to buy more tissues!
*shaking head*

Oh, and just in case you're wondering,
my reason for (not so) secretly video taping her,
(you'll see why I said 'not so' towards the end of the clip)
was because whenever I tell someone that Ruby really enjoy's playing by herself,
I usually get these half cocked looks as if to imply
'yeah right, suuuuuuure she does...'
so this is to share with you all that, yes-
Ruby truly does enjoy playing independently
with only Bear & her imagination to keep her company.
Oh, don't misunderstand,
we play together too and it's filled with smiles, silliness & laughter,
but more often than not, my girl wants to play 'all by self Momma'...
...and it never ceases to blow my mind just how happy she is.
Keep playin' baby, you make those LITTLE PEOPLE look good!
*proud Momma smile from ear to ear*

Psst, Hey Bella...

...you think Santa's gonna know we're sittin' in his chair?
I don't know where the heck he is, we've been at this party for hours now!

And I don't know about you but I hope it's soon,
cuz Nannie's starting to drive me nuts with that camera!

You know, screaming like that won't help matters,
Santa doesn't come if you're naughty, remember??
Try & tone it down, I got a chicken set ridin' on this...

Blackberry Streusel...

Ok, felt like making something yummy to go with my tea,
and boy was this it!

Ingredients:
1 cup butter (2 sticks) softened
1 cup sugar
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 egg
2 pkg Quaker instant oatmeal regular flavor (not pictured)
1 jar (10 oz) blackberry preserves

You will need an 8X8 Pyrex baking dish.
(preheat oven to 350)

Combine butter and sugar & beat at low speed, scraping the bowl often, until well blended.

Add flour, oatmeal & egg. Beat until mixture is crumbly, 2 - 3 minutes.

Reserve 1 cup crumb mixture for topping
& take remaining mixture & press into greased baking dish as evenly as possible.
Spread preserves to within 1/2 inch of edge of crust.

Crumble reserved mixture over preserves.

Bake for 45 minutes (until lightly browned)

Remove from oven & COOL COMPLETELY FIRST before cutting into bars.
(makes about 24 bars)

Enjoy!

A Conversation With Santa... *updated*

*click on links to find out what she really was asking for...


Santa: "Well Hello there little girl, what's your name?"
Ruby: "Santa, I need presents."
Santa: "Is that so? And what presents would you like this year?"
Ruby: "Ruby want a chicken set, an'a doll house, a GREEN ONE an' hangers." (look what's hanging inside the doll closet)
Santa: "Well Ruby, those sound like wonderful presents. Maybe Santa can bring some to your house this year..."
Ruby: "An'a put em unner a tree, ok?"
Santa: "Ok, you got it Ruby. Will you come back and see Santa again next year?"
Ruby: "Yes, an Momma gonna haffa drive, ok?"
Santa: *smiling* That sounds ok to me. You have a Merry Christmas Ruby!"
Ruby: "Bye Santa, Ruby wuv you!" *hugs the big guy*

Can I just say, quite a FAR CRY from last year!
HAHAHAHA

Wow...

...X's 3!

1st Christmas 2nd Christmas 3rd Christmas

Is it really our 3rd Christmas together?
Was this really the 3rd time I've been able to take my baby to see Santa?
Well, she's not a baby anymore.
She's growing into a sweet, wonderful, funny, loving, beautiful little lady.
And me?
Oh, I might be finding white hairs along the way,
& feeling aches & pains in places that I didn't know I could,
I have a bedtime that is painfully closer to hers with each passing night,
and yet,
I just know that I would not trade places with anyone else in the whole world,
ever.
They don't get to hear that beautiful child call them, "Momma".
Life is good.

Faster Than A Falling Ornament...

...taller than a Christmas tree?
Huh?@%#$%
Ok, so I'm NOT seeing things;

Here's our

First Year

& here's our

Second Year

& yes, this was seriously just taken

Tonight:

My kid's as tall as our tree.
(when the hell did THAT happen?!)
*sigh*

We did have a blast decorating the tree though.
Even made a few new ornaments prior to decorating.
(I sculpt with Scupley polymer clay)
And here are the newest additions to our box-O-ornaments:

Ruby requested this little guy,
"Momma wanna make a ice skating bear wif'a green sweata an'a hat too!"
Ask baby & ye shall receive!


This one I felt like making,
clearly you all know who it is so no need for introductions.
hehehe ;)
(and yes my stove IS that FILTHY in the backround.)
LOL My Mother's gonna have heart failure when she sees I posted this. LOL


Here's Santa Bear...
he's from a few years back.

I so miss my boy,
more than I have words to express it.
When I found this ornament in the box, I just paused a moment & my eyes filled with tears.
Ruby caught sight of this & walked up to me, took my hand & said:
"Momma no cry, Ebbyeezer happy he in heaven. Ruby here now."
Which, of course only made me cry even more...
She then decided that what I needed was a big hug & she kissed my cheek & said:
"I wuv you SO MUCH Momma, no cry."


I really am beyond blessed.

So, although my heart will always have a hole in it where Ebenezer once lived,
my heart will also always be blessed to be overflowing from the love of this gorgeous child.
And you just can't ask for anything more at Christmas, I'm pretty sure of that.

& to Ebenezer,
you're forever in my heart pal,
till we meet again old friend.
*big fuzzy Momma hug all the way up to dog heaven*

Merry Christmas.