Monday, August 25, 2008

You've Got Questions...

...I've got answers:

1.kris said...

A long time ago I read you were bisexual. Having once been on the psych path in majors, this was a subject that fascinated me and my ex husband and I debated about extensively. And, as most people are aware now, there are few in this world that are 100% hetero or homosexual, and that there really is a spectrum to what we are attracted to, etc.

When did you know? Do you feel you lean more in one direction or is it pretty much down the middle? Have you been in a relationship with a woman? And how do you plan to share this part of yourself with your daughter, or explain this aspect of you?


Answer: I have known I was bisexual since I was 7 years old. Yes, 7. Growing up I never just liked boys or girls, always equally liked both & once I hit high school, although I only dated guys back then, I always found the girls just as attractive. Now that I'm 36, I am very secure in who I am and the people I chose to spend time with & I find that although I am still very much Bi, I have only ever 'dated' women, no serious relationships with any as of yet & continue to date men but find it's the guys I have meaningful relationships with. Currently dating a very sweet, very handsome Chinese man named Al (aka:Chan, if I mention Chan, that's who I'm talkin' bout). As far as sharing this with my daughter, ABSOLUTELY! When I feel she's old enough to understand... 4 years old? Not quite there yet.





2. Phyllis said...

Not a real personal question but-- what happened to the rest of your novel?? I still think of you whenever I eat a Nilla wafer!!! (one of my daughter's favorite cookies!)

Answer: My Novel has taken a very long hiatus and although I do plan on finishing it one day, I just haven't been in a mood to do so as of late. I already know how things are going to happen & where the road is about to take Alice & Jess... just can't speculate on that right now & I sincerely apologize to those who were truly getting into it as I'm aware I've let you down... trust me, PROMISE keep reading the blog & one day you'll start to see chapters re-emerge, SCOUTS HONOR! (used to be a girl scout!) hehehe


3. Cindy and Co. said...

Are y'all watching the Olympics???

Answer: Yes, we did watch the opening ceremonies and certain parts of the Olympics, but truth be told, we didn't watch them all. House doesn't clean itself if I'm choosin' to sit in front of the tube all day ya know? And trust me, TiVo is a GOD SEND cuz otherwise I'd be livin' in a trash heap & NEVER seeing ANY of my shows that I love! =)


4. Elyssium Earth said...

You're kidding me?! Floyd, Cohen! You are down, Scarcella!! I in my poor little state have been sorely (and I mean sorely) deprived of internet access. This sorry situation is about to be remedied permanently. HELLS YEAH.

If we're layin' out cards then I guess I've always wanted to know how you found the money for your 'doption?? Did you save for like, ever? or get a little help from the famed Nonna and Nonno?

Answer: I saved money from Nannying but obviously, even the contents of my 'life savings' wasn't enough so I made extra money by doing phone sex at night. Was bringing in $200/hr. And for those of you thinking "OMG WHY ISN'T SHE STILL DOING THAT, THAT'S GOOD MONEY!?$#$" There's the issue of a short cute set of impressionable ears about & I'd really rather not explain THAT to her. LOL Bisexual, sure... phone sex? NOT SO MUCH!

I guess I have a really good 'phone voice'. Now, not that I've talked naughty to any of you but for those of you who HAVE talked to me on the phone, you can attest to the voice, yes? LOL

Friday, August 22, 2008

"Who's the Skinny Girl with the BIG HEAD?!@#"



No lie, JUST NOW took this pic of myself after my friend straightened my hair (just for shits & giggles to see what it would look like...) and I shared this pic via cell with a friend of mine & THAT'S WHAT HE SAID!>%#$^



I'm sorry, did you just say my head was big? A BIG HEAD? Seriously? Naw... you must be mistaken! I know he didn't just say THAT... !?!?!?! *SMACK*

Sunday, August 17, 2008

I've Taken It BACK!

As of today, August 17th, 2008, I have OFFICIALLY taken my BEDROOM BACK!
No pack & play...
No toys...
No puzzles...
NO trace of toddler, PERIOD!

Not that I don't love my little girl, obviously that goes without saying,
but I REALLY LOVE HAVING MY ADULT SPACE & I've finally RECLAIMED MY BEDROOM!

My bed is no longer against the freakin' wall. It's in the center of the room directly underneath my gorgeous print of 'Starry Night', where I can now look up & lose myself in it till my eyes close & the dreams begin...

I also did TONS of laundry & the last load is in the dryer, CAN I GET AN AMEN!
(and by 'tons' I mean at LEAST 8 loads or MORE!)

Whole house is vaccumed from top to bottom, dusted every surface, not a trace of a dish anywhere in sight (even the dishwasher is empty!)

Don't ask, I generally LOATHE cleaning, but every once in a blue moon (looking out window to check for hue') something inside me SNAPS and I HAVE TO SPEND THE WHOLE DAY CLEANING & RECLAIMING MY HOUSE!

Did it, DONE!

Also, what this means for miss Ruby is that as of tonight, SHE IS SLEEPING IN HER OWN BIG GIRL BED (my old daybed from back in my high school days) and SHE WENT TO SLEEP WITHOUT SO MUCH AS A PEEP & WAS COMPLETELY OK WITH IT!

Thank you GOD!

Sorry no pics as of yet but still don't own a digital camera & the only one I have (my cell phone) is charging so you'll all have to do your best to use your imagination.

Until next time...

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Wednesday, August 06, 2008

I Have No Title...

...perhaps because I honestly don't have much to write about except the same old same old... sad huh? I suppose when one is faced with such a dilemma one opens up the floor for questions, although I've always been such an open book that I doubt there's a soul among you who hasn't already found their answer to whatever it is they were wondering, in GRAPHIC detail in one or two of my past posts. LOL HOWEVER, that having been said, if you ACTUALLY DO have something on your mind that you've always wondered about & were too shy or just lurking & didn't want to ask, by all means, please- SHOOT!

No question too personal & all will be answered. I believe in censorship but here among 'INVITED' friends is certainly NOT the place. Ask, & ye shall receive.

-Amy

ps. Ruby is doing wonderful... I can't believe her birthday is just about a month away. WTF is THAT all about@?#$%% Man, how time flies!

Tuesday, July 29, 2008

HYSTERICAL & SO TRUE!!!

American kids: Move out when they're 18 with the full support of their parents.
Italian kids: Move out when they're 28, having saved enough money for a house, and are two weeks away from getting married....unless there's room in the basement for the newlyweds.

American kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings a Bundt cake, and you sip coffee and chat.
Italian kids: When their Mom visits them, she brings 3 days worth of food, begins to tidy up, dust, do the laundry, and rearrange the furniture.

American kids: Their dads always call before they come over to visit them, and it's usually only on special occasions.
Italian kids: Are not at all fazed when their dads show up, unannounced, on a Saturday morning at 8:00, and starts pruning the fruit trees. If there are no fruit trees, he'll plant some.

American kids: Always pay retail, and look in the Yellow Pages when they need to have something done.
Italian kids: Call their dad or uncle, and ask for another dad's or uncle's phone number to get it done...cash deal. Know what I mean??

American kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get only cake and coffee. No more.
Italian kids: Will come over for cake and coffee, and get antipasto, wine, a pasta dish, a choice of two meats, salad, bread, a cannoli, fruit, espresso, and a few after dinner drinks.

American kids: Will greet you with "Hello" or "Hi".
Italian kids: Will give you a big hug, a kiss on your cheek, and a pat on your back.

American kids: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs.
Italian kids: Call your parents Mom and Dad.

American kids: Have never seen you cry.
Italian kids: Cry with you.

American kids: Borrow your stuff for a few days and then return it.
Italian kids: Keep your stuff so long, they forget it's yours.

American kids: Will eat at your dinner table and leave.
Italian kids: Will spend hours there, talking, laughing, and just being together.


American kids: Know few things about you.
Italian kids: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

American kids: Eat peanut butter and jelly sandwiches on soft mushy white bread.
Italian kids: Eat Genoa Salami and Provolone sandwiches on crusty Italian bread.

American kids: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
Italian kids: Will kick the whole crowd's ass who left you behind.

American kids: Are for a while.
Italian kids: Are for life.
American kids: Like Rod Stewart and Steve Tyrell.
Italian kids: Worship Tony Bennett and Frank Sinatra

American kids: Think that being Italian is cool.
Italian kids: Know that being Italian is cool.

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Before & After (1 month post op) pics...



One month before my surgery...



...nearly one month AFTER my surgery.

Literally almost 100 lbs lost, not quite but it sounds better than saying 90 something, I'd SO much RATHER say " YEP, NEARLY 100 LBS!" Just makes me feel good.

I know this isn't a big transformation when you consider how much more I have yet to go, but it's a hell of a start, yes? ;) hehehe

Friday, July 25, 2008

Thursday, July 24, 2008

4th Week Post OP...

...and here's what I've learned about my new pluming:

I sip water constantly, but was doing that before the surgery as well only, BEFORE surgery, there were times I was so thirsty, I'd GULP. Not anymore. Not ever.


Things I CAN eat: (and by 'can' I mean a bite or two...)
Eggs
Tomato
Fresh Mozzarella Cheese
Extra Virgin Olive Oil
Smart Food Popcorn!!!!!!! <----------makes me SO HAPPY I could CRY!
Yogurt
Sugar Free Fat Free Chocolate Pudding
Turkey Chili (homemade by me, if anyone is interested I'll post the recipe later!)
Shredded Deli chicken and/or turkey
Any/All fruit SO LONG AS THE SKIN IS REMOVED!
Carrots, peas, corn on the cob, any veggie (except broccoli) SO LONG AS THE VEGGIE IS COOKED OR STEAMED, NO RAW VEGGIES!)
Lean Cuisine Meals (only ones with turkey & chicken)
Pear Juice (drank every morning & night as a natural way to be sure I am always regular, I drink it when taking my supplements. Trust me, IT WORKS! Never ONCE needed a stool softener!) hehehe
PIZZA! Had ONE small piece, it has onions, peppers, and mushrooms on it & I ate the whole thing, CRUST & ALL and was FINE!

There are other things but so far, that's what I'm kinda happy with & living off of.

Now, more importantly, here are the things I ABSOLUTELY CANNOT TOLERATE, PERIOD:

TONIC! (Soda)
Gum
Alcohol
Butter
Sugar
Sweets (ie: cakes, cookies, candies, muffins, etc...)
Heavy Carbs (ONLY bread, whereas the pizza, was fine since I ate the other things off it FIRST before touching the crust...)

Honestly, I had a homemade blueberry muffin the other day... (Ruby made them with my Aunt) and my daughter INSISTED that "Momma you twy one! Pwease?!" Against my better judgement I ate one, the whole thing, and was in the fetal position on the couch for the better part of the afternoon & Ruby had to end up going downstairs to visit her grandparents because I literally felt like I was going to die.

THAT is MY dumping.


I don't vomit, I don't get diarrhea, I just get this AWFUL NAUSEOUS feeling & need to curl up in a ball & pray for it to go away, or to die, whichever comes first. But TRUST ME WHEN I SAY, I think I'd MUCH PREFER VOMITING OR HERSHEY SQUIRTS OVER THIS DEATH BALL that I become. It's NOT FUN so I NO LONGER CRAVE, EVER, those things that I KNOW will make me feel like that. It's JUST SO ODD! I used to LOVE LOVE LOVE CAKE!
Not anymore. Maybe a little lick of frosting come Ruby's birthday this September, but NO CAKE! Just not worth it.

So, there's that... any one have any questions? Lay em on me, I'm an open book...

*hugs*

-Amy

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Although I ONLY Have ONE Child...



...my front hall suggests otherwise. LOL hehe




Ruby sharing a giggle with her Nonno...




And yet another pic of me, just taken minutes ago. Yes, I am aware it's the same top. When you lose as much weight as I have you only have two or three tops that FIT YOU still. I'm trying to make the most of them while I still can! ;)

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Thursday, July 17, 2008

A Girl & Her South African Hat...








Chocolate Brown is the new BLACK!



...I seriously spent over 7 hours tonight in my colorist's chair at the salon saying 'goodbye' to BLACK hair (tired of the white hairs making the all too regular appearance with a BLACK back drop... pissed me off!) and hello to CHOCOLATE BROWN!
I know, not that much of a difference just yet, but over time, as my body morph's into something new, so will my hair color as I intend to eventually have several pretty shades of brown all mixed in so that the white hairs won't know WHAT the hell to do!

(one can only hope...)

Sunday, July 13, 2008

Yeah, Not Really Something Anyone Warned Me About...


(my BEFORE photo, taken about a month before my surgery...)


(& not necessarily my 'after' photo just yet as it's only been two weeks since surgery, HOWEVER, this photo shows how much weight I have lost as I now have a face WITHOUT whatever that shit was that was attacking my NECK! And it also shows my UGLY ASS NEW STUPID GLASSES that I HATE! Long, LONG story to go with those, but let's just say that I've been too disturbed to even share it thus far... perhaps sometime soon. In the meantime, just pretend that they are still my gorgeous thin little black frames you've all come to know & love, as I did... UGH!)

Ok, onto the REAL meat & taters of this post;

...I mean it's not like they were going to sit me down & say: "Now Amy, keep in mind that when you start to really lose weight after the surgery, you may lose a substantial amount of it in your breasts first...oh, and by the by, one breast may lose far more weight than it's twin so, you could be 'lopsided' for a bit until they even out..."

I REALLY WISH SOMEONE WOULD'VE PERHAPS MENTIONED THAT SHIT TO ME, IS THAT TOO MUCH TO ASK? I've gone down at LEAST 2 cup sizes & several inches around thus far but, if I'm being COMPLETELY HONEST here, my LEFT GIRL is still larger than her RIGHT COUNTERPART! Now, NEITHER OF THEM feel like MY BOOBS, period. BUT, at least the left one is SOMEWHAT SIMILAR TO WHAT SHE USED TO LOOK LIKE NOT TOO LONG AGO. Little miss Right? WHO'S BOOB IS THIS? NOT MINE CERTAINLY! OMG!

And now, not only have I shrunk so much that even my SMALL, TIGHT, NEVER COULD WEAR THEM BEFORE jeans are FALLING STRAIGHT OFF ME so that I am really only wearing the knit, capri, drawstring pants I bought at Kohl's, BUT EVEN THOSE ARE A SCORCH BIG! ugh... and those were just 1X's.

Please don't misunderstand, I'm NOT complaining, honest I'm not...

...but all this losing weight & having someone else's right boob, and pants falling off sometimes in public is just a bit much to process, ya know? I feel like I'm walking around in someone else's body! Not to mention that, recently upon taking miss Ruby to her favorite place in the whole world (Salem Willows), we did what we always do when we go there together... we split a small lo-mein (chicken this time instead of our usual beef as I can only have chicken & turkey & fish for the first 4 months...) and instead of eating it & tossing away it's wrapper. We split maybe two or three bites a piece, had a TON left over, brought excess noodles home, put in fridge, had the next day for lunch, still a ton left over, put THOSE in fridge, enjoyed them again the 3rd day, only a few bites for me & miss Roo managed to finish whatever noodles still made it in the carton.

NEVER did I think a small lo-mein would last us THREE FRIGGEN DAYS! Do you people know how much money I'm saving on groceries? IT'S STAGGERING!

Not to mention, the pay off when I spend some time with someone who, I love dearly and haven't seen in FOREVER & his jaw hits the floor because he can't believe it's me & how in the world did I lose half of myself & OMG you look beautiful etc, etc, etc...

Not saying anymore just yet. I love him too much to risk ruining anything but let's just say that he's been in a special corner of my heart now for many, many years.
(The fact that his mother LOVES me & his father thinks I'm a hoot, IS JUST AN ADDED BONUS!)

WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

And now, for some Ruby pictures, because I know you all didn't come here just to listen to me bitch about my uneven boobs!









Yeah, Not Really Something Anyone Warned Me About...

Saturday, July 05, 2008

Alive & kicking...

...sorry it's taken me this long to post an update, but I've been quite regimented in following doctors orders to a T (kinda) and trying my best to stay home, stay mellow & avoid lifting anything over 10 lbs. (and by over 10 lbs, you KNOW I mean RUBY!)
Tell me THAT isn't the hardest thing ever to do on the planet? Especially when she looks up at me & says, 'Momma wanna snuggle?' OMG KILLIN ME!
She asks DAILY (and multiple times daily) to see 'Momma's tummy', and says "Momma's tummy is sore, Ruby be very gentle!" and she always is.

I was going to take a pic of my stomach for you all to enjoy but then thought, really, who but my daughter enjoys that? LOL So decided against it.
As I type this my little girl is in the kitchen with her Nanny. T (Uncle Steve's Mom) and the two are making cookies together, A-DAMN-DORABLE!

I, on the other hand, am not only sitting here praying for the last bits of the CO2 to exit my abdomen, but wishing that I had bought several flavors of the protein shake that has come to be the bane of my existence.

Other than that, all's good. I have two more weeks to rest & feel better before I have to return to work & the real world as it may be, but I'm so ready for anything other than the walls of my apartment. LOL It's fun to stay home when you CHOOSE to, but when it's doctor's orders? ALL I WANNA DO IS GO DRIVE MY CAR LIKE A SILLY WOMAN JUST TO FEEL THE WIND IN MY FACE DAMNIT! Anyhoo

Hope everyone enjoyed a wonderful 4th & I promise to continue to update as my progress continues. Oh, btw, 10 lbs down as of the scale this morning... ON TOP of the original 70.

I should change the name of this blog to: "THE INCREDIBLE SHRINKING MOMMA!"

Wednesday, July 02, 2008

I'm home...

...I'm swollen, I'm sore, I can barely finish my protein shake as just about half way through it I feel stuffed, but it's all good. Just took a nice long hot shower & plan to follow through with that date I made with my pain meds & my couch.
Ruby was very happy to see Momma, slightly freaked out by all the 'spots' on Momma's tummy, (there were 7 of them), and is still playing downstairs with her Nannie while Momma gets a bit of rest. Thank you ALL for keeping me in your thoughts & prayers.
Clearly, you were heard...

*hugs*

-Amy (aka: the soon to be, incredible shrinking woman...)

Sunday, June 29, 2008

8 Months...

...several pants sizes, 70 lbs & lots of hard work & sweat & water aerobics later,
I AM FINALLY HAVING MY SURGERY FIRST THING TOMORROW MORNING!

WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!! I worked my ASS off to earn this & I am SO EXCITED to finally take the next step to becoming a healthier me.
(I'd say 'happier' too, but honestly, I've always been happy & it never matted to me what size I was...)

I leave my house at 5am sharp & head for the hospital with my father. (he's dropping me off...) I have a 5:45am check in time & then it's off for all the pre surgical hullabaloo bullshit that has to be done & then it's "ok Amy, count backwards from ten..." & by 8 I'm guessing, I'll be sleepin like a baby! Then, the magic begins!

Yes, I know it's permanent.
Yes, I know it's major surgery.
Yes, I know it's completely rearranging my internal plumbing.
YES, I STILL WANT THE SURGERY!

What everyone needs to know is that I am very AWARE that this surgery is NOT A QUICK FIX! On the contrary, it's just another tool to help me with the rest of my weight loss & new lifestyle to get to where I can no longer worry about health issues & concentrate more on my beautiful daughter, who, by the way, will be spending the next two days being spoiled BEYOND ROTTEN by her Nannie & Nonno. (my parents)

Ruby is so cute, today she learned a new song, one that was on my friends 'myspace' page, and without realizing what the words were, I let her hear it & thought, "isn't that cute, she likes Nick's song...". Then, she asked if I'd video her dancing & playing the drums *my legs* to it. Sure baby, let's go...

Allow me to share with you all this snippet of video & that lovely song. Don't google the lyrics... You'll find that, despite what I thought I heard, it's actually not 'dance trucker dance...' *LAUGHING* Nice huh?






Yes, I know I should perhaps discourage her from listening to that song again, but honestly when she started singing about the truckers, I thought it was just adorable & didn't have a friggen CLUE! (What can I say, not really into that type of music, DAVE MATTHEWS ALL THE WAY BABY!)

See ya'll on the flip side!

Friday, June 27, 2008

BEST CONCERT EVER!!!



Here's just a snippet of the evening I had the other night...

STILL REELING from the ABSOLUTE BEST TIME EVER!

What a way to celebrate prior to surgery this coming Monday!

Oh, and hopefully *fingers crossed* I'll have internet access from the hospital so I can update the blog & let you all in on my progress. Also, if any of you have myspace, look me up by email: mom4ruby@yahoo.com and feel free to add me, as I maintain a much smaller blog there too. Wish me luck!

-Amy