God, Grant Me Strength...*updated/see bottom*
...to not lose my mind or start pulling out my hair during this POTTY TRAINING process.
And make no mistake, for us, it's a PROCESS!
At first, I was all gung ho about getting her a potty seat.
Her own little 'big girl' seat to go pee pee on.
Only problem was, she was barely home six months when I bought it,
(jumped the gun clearly)
and used it for Bear.
Nothing more.
THEN, a few miraculous times, BOOM she'd actually USE THE THING!
I thought, SUCCESS!
At first we hand made a potty chart,
it got filled up with stickers both for going & for trying.
(incentive I thought... I hoped...)
Next, we bought a big ole poster board & filled that up too.
And then another & the same, filled up...
...with lots of 'trying' but no real history of repeat success.
Sporadic success, questionable success, unreliable success.
Things migraines are made of really...
More time goes by, now my girl isn't so little anymore, she's grown into this gorgeous TALL girl who clearly has outgrown that silly first potty I foolishly bought her.
So, smart me thinks, OK, time for a NEW POTTY, one that RUBY CAN PICK OUT HERSELF!
(figured if I let her be involved in the whole process, it might lead to a better success rate.)
Psst, I was wrong.
So, we buy this new chair, had higher than high hopes, first day home she used it three times in a row, SUCCESSFULLY & OF HER OWN ACCORD I MIGHT ADD!
Were things beginning to look up?
*fingers, toes, eyes etc, crossed*
Day two with the new potty seat... three accidents & four dirty pull ups later.
Ok, next bright idea, NO MORE PULL UPS!
I am so annoyed that I allowed her to become the 'lazy' kid when it comes to pottying.
Honestly, that's what pull ups do.
Sure they buy me 'laundry free evenings' filled with quiet book reading & steaming cups of tea rather than overflowing baskets of urine drenched laundry that can't wait to be washed as it will promptly turn the house a lovely scent of BLECK should I toy with the idea of NOT doing it asaFp.
So, at first, pull ups all day long seemed like my life saver.
Now?
I'm rethinking the whole thing.
Why did I think that was a good idea?
Ruby is days away from officially becoming 3 & 1/2
and she's nearly taller than ME
( she might be taller than my brother actually come to think about it)
and she UNDERSTANDS THE MECHANICS OF WHAT A POTTY SEAT IS & HOW IT'S TO BE PROPERLY USED! SHE GETS THAT!
She just is CHOOSING TO NOT COMPLY.
Oh yes, that's right, it's a CHOICE.
And if I hear one more time from one more person
(mainly my parents)
that, "Oh, she's just a baby, she doesn't understand..."
I'm going to scream so loud that her foster family will hear me clear as a bell in China!
Baby my ASS! This kid speaks two languages AND understands some Chinese as well as 'sign'.
Baby she is not.
Allow me to indulge you in a moment in my day today,
which oh, by the way, happy Valentine's day to you all,
despite getting dressed up in Red (me) & Pink (Ruby),
we had a very non-traditional Valentine's day.
My daughter's gift to me was to sit for a half hour on her potty,
tell me that she didn't have to go but "Thank you trying!"
and then immediately proceed to pull her undies up,
(Dora ones I THOUGHT would also help, again thought wrong)
pulled her pants up, grabbed her buddy Bear,
squat over a puzzle on my bedroom carpet & RELIEVE HERSELF RIGHT THERE.
Only MOMENTS after having been SITTING for a half hour or MORE on a potty,
this girl got up, maintained composure enough to get dressed,
had time to grab her friend & pick a puzzle to 'pretend' to be interested in before she finally allowed herself to pee.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She has control all right, just in the things she WANTS not the things she knows her Momma wants for her.
I am so fed up with it that I literally, this morning, decided no more pull ups.
PERIOD.
AMEN.
END OF STORY.
(ok, that was SO my mother just then...)
I told her from now on, she only gets to wear pull ups at NIGHT.
That's it.
For the rest of time now, she'll wear big girl clothing & if she pees, she pees.
I will do laundry until I comprise enough used dryer sheets to fashion myself a g'damned dress!
No more pull ups!
Today alone, three outfits, dirtied.
She sits, she does nothing, always says "THANK YOU TRYING!", then proceeds to do her best impression of a PUPPY IN TRAINING!
I'm having flash backs to Ebby's puppy years & trust me, she's cute, but this is NOT FUN
AND after I clean up her mess, she doesn't want to play fetch with me or snuggle & kiss my face.
SO not the same experience. I can't tire her out with playing to guarantee myself she'll nap for a few hours & I can then get to that mountain of laundry that has begun to crawl up the sides of my walls.
Nope, she's a toddler, a little girl who has chosen LAZY over SUCCESS.
I so could kick myself because I know I had every hand in this by being the enabler always with a pull up at the ready.
Shame on me for opting for convenience & cleanliness over learning experience.
Shame on me for thinking about myself first rather than what was best for my daughter.
I know this isn't the end of the world but as you can see, I've typed a freakin' book here so you can tell that this is something that is driving me INSANE right about now!
She is taking a nap right now surprisingly, merely because she's still trying to shake that cold & the Benadryl she takes for her allergies makes her drowsy sometimes.
Today clearly is one of those times.
So while she naps, COMPLETELY DRY I MIGHT ADD, I sit here & vent my frustrations.
If I were a gambling woman, I'd bet that as soon as she wakes up, IF she's still dry (which it looks like she might end up being...) she'll sit again, "try", get up, say "THANK YOU TRYING!" and then piss again on my carpet, or in the kitchen, or in the living room, or ANYWHERE but where she should be going, her beloved potty that only three days ago, she was so very very excited about using.
So again, I ask... GOD, GRANT ME STRENGTH!
Oh, and for the record, I'm already on my second load of laundry today.
(so far, I have half a boob covered on that dress... more to come.)
*She woke up dry, sat on the potty (because I insisted), did a minimal amount of pee pee, still praised her BIG TIME, sticker & everything and prayed that this time would be different.
She pulled her undies & pants back up, curled up on the floor of my bedroom with Bear
and proceeded to completely drench her pants, the down throw she was laying on, my carpet,
her Bear, etc...
I really am at a loss for what to do next besides successfully lose my mind
&
every ounce of patience I used to pride myself on having with children.
*sigh*
Why is it that raising other people's children is so much easier than raising your own?
And make no mistake, for us, it's a PROCESS!
At first, I was all gung ho about getting her a potty seat.
Her own little 'big girl' seat to go pee pee on.
Only problem was, she was barely home six months when I bought it,
(jumped the gun clearly)
and used it for Bear.
Nothing more.
THEN, a few miraculous times, BOOM she'd actually USE THE THING!
I thought, SUCCESS!
At first we hand made a potty chart,
it got filled up with stickers both for going & for trying.
(incentive I thought... I hoped...)
Next, we bought a big ole poster board & filled that up too.
And then another & the same, filled up...
...with lots of 'trying' but no real history of repeat success.
Sporadic success, questionable success, unreliable success.
Things migraines are made of really...
More time goes by, now my girl isn't so little anymore, she's grown into this gorgeous TALL girl who clearly has outgrown that silly first potty I foolishly bought her.
So, smart me thinks, OK, time for a NEW POTTY, one that RUBY CAN PICK OUT HERSELF!
(figured if I let her be involved in the whole process, it might lead to a better success rate.)
Psst, I was wrong.
So, we buy this new chair, had higher than high hopes, first day home she used it three times in a row, SUCCESSFULLY & OF HER OWN ACCORD I MIGHT ADD!
Were things beginning to look up?
*fingers, toes, eyes etc, crossed*
Day two with the new potty seat... three accidents & four dirty pull ups later.
Ok, next bright idea, NO MORE PULL UPS!
I am so annoyed that I allowed her to become the 'lazy' kid when it comes to pottying.
Honestly, that's what pull ups do.
Sure they buy me 'laundry free evenings' filled with quiet book reading & steaming cups of tea rather than overflowing baskets of urine drenched laundry that can't wait to be washed as it will promptly turn the house a lovely scent of BLECK should I toy with the idea of NOT doing it asaFp.
So, at first, pull ups all day long seemed like my life saver.
Now?
I'm rethinking the whole thing.
Why did I think that was a good idea?
Ruby is days away from officially becoming 3 & 1/2
and she's nearly taller than ME
( she might be taller than my brother actually come to think about it)
and she UNDERSTANDS THE MECHANICS OF WHAT A POTTY SEAT IS & HOW IT'S TO BE PROPERLY USED! SHE GETS THAT!
She just is CHOOSING TO NOT COMPLY.
Oh yes, that's right, it's a CHOICE.
And if I hear one more time from one more person
(mainly my parents)
that, "Oh, she's just a baby, she doesn't understand..."
I'm going to scream so loud that her foster family will hear me clear as a bell in China!
Baby my ASS! This kid speaks two languages AND understands some Chinese as well as 'sign'.
Baby she is not.
Allow me to indulge you in a moment in my day today,
which oh, by the way, happy Valentine's day to you all,
despite getting dressed up in Red (me) & Pink (Ruby),
we had a very non-traditional Valentine's day.
My daughter's gift to me was to sit for a half hour on her potty,
tell me that she didn't have to go but "Thank you trying!"
and then immediately proceed to pull her undies up,
(Dora ones I THOUGHT would also help, again thought wrong)
pulled her pants up, grabbed her buddy Bear,
squat over a puzzle on my bedroom carpet & RELIEVE HERSELF RIGHT THERE.
Only MOMENTS after having been SITTING for a half hour or MORE on a potty,
this girl got up, maintained composure enough to get dressed,
had time to grab her friend & pick a puzzle to 'pretend' to be interested in before she finally allowed herself to pee.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She has control all right, just in the things she WANTS not the things she knows her Momma wants for her.
I am so fed up with it that I literally, this morning, decided no more pull ups.
PERIOD.
AMEN.
END OF STORY.
(ok, that was SO my mother just then...)
I told her from now on, she only gets to wear pull ups at NIGHT.
That's it.
For the rest of time now, she'll wear big girl clothing & if she pees, she pees.
I will do laundry until I comprise enough used dryer sheets to fashion myself a g'damned dress!
No more pull ups!
Today alone, three outfits, dirtied.
She sits, she does nothing, always says "THANK YOU TRYING!", then proceeds to do her best impression of a PUPPY IN TRAINING!
I'm having flash backs to Ebby's puppy years & trust me, she's cute, but this is NOT FUN
AND after I clean up her mess, she doesn't want to play fetch with me or snuggle & kiss my face.
SO not the same experience. I can't tire her out with playing to guarantee myself she'll nap for a few hours & I can then get to that mountain of laundry that has begun to crawl up the sides of my walls.
Nope, she's a toddler, a little girl who has chosen LAZY over SUCCESS.
I so could kick myself because I know I had every hand in this by being the enabler always with a pull up at the ready.
Shame on me for opting for convenience & cleanliness over learning experience.
Shame on me for thinking about myself first rather than what was best for my daughter.
I know this isn't the end of the world but as you can see, I've typed a freakin' book here so you can tell that this is something that is driving me INSANE right about now!
She is taking a nap right now surprisingly, merely because she's still trying to shake that cold & the Benadryl she takes for her allergies makes her drowsy sometimes.
Today clearly is one of those times.
So while she naps, COMPLETELY DRY I MIGHT ADD, I sit here & vent my frustrations.
If I were a gambling woman, I'd bet that as soon as she wakes up, IF she's still dry (which it looks like she might end up being...) she'll sit again, "try", get up, say "THANK YOU TRYING!" and then piss again on my carpet, or in the kitchen, or in the living room, or ANYWHERE but where she should be going, her beloved potty that only three days ago, she was so very very excited about using.
So again, I ask... GOD, GRANT ME STRENGTH!
Oh, and for the record, I'm already on my second load of laundry today.
(so far, I have half a boob covered on that dress... more to come.)
*She woke up dry, sat on the potty (because I insisted), did a minimal amount of pee pee, still praised her BIG TIME, sticker & everything and prayed that this time would be different.
She pulled her undies & pants back up, curled up on the floor of my bedroom with Bear
and proceeded to completely drench her pants, the down throw she was laying on, my carpet,
her Bear, etc...
I really am at a loss for what to do next besides successfully lose my mind
&
every ounce of patience I used to pride myself on having with children.
*sigh*
Why is it that raising other people's children is so much easier than raising your own?
3 comments:
I was VERY lucky with Julia in the potty department, but I did want to share one thing that worked when she had the occasional accident. I very calmly explained to her that in life, we are responsible for cleaning up our own messes, and then I handed her a sponge/wipe/etc to clean up her pee. Trust me, I only had to do this two or three times before she stopped having accidents, because she was seriously not excited about the idea of cleaning up her own pee. She never pooped on herself thank God, so I didn't have to go down that road with her. It might sound like a bit of tough love, but if you maintain your composure completely and don't make them think of it as a punishment, simply something they have to do because we all have to clean up our own messes. This is something I drilled into Julia's head from day one -- when she'd drop food on the floor I'd make her get out of her chair and help me clean it right then. LOL. Anyway, sorry for the novel, but it's my best suggestion. Ruby hopefully will tire of cleaning her own pee and cooperate! Good luck!
Because you can give other people's children back. You have to keep your own. Has she had to clean up her mess yet? This is def a control issue as in she needs to control. Glenys was able to do this because of day care only. I am the lazy parent and allowed pullups because I don't like cleaning up messes. Glenys is in school all day so other kids are for this instance good peer pressure. We only have them at night because she is in my bed and I don't intend on having to change sheets in the middle of the night. Oh and Glenys asks to go in her pullup as soon as it is on and in the a.m. when she wakes up!!
It is sure a good thing they are cute!!
Beverly
This is good for me to read. We have two potty chairs and some pull-ups, but haven't really started training hard core. I'll learn from your experience and not rely on those pull-ups too long.
Our one advantage is that our carpeting sucks. It needs to be replaced, but we wisely decided to wait until after potty training. ;o)
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