Confession... *updated*

...is good for the soul.

#1388

& now;

#1491

(to be continued...)

Cheap Therapy...

...another word for 'BLOGGER'.

It just feels good to purge, doesn't it?

And sometimes it doesn't even matter what you type, it's just the act of typing something, anything... that helps.
(a good friend just reminded me of this, & it's oh so true... but then again, how could it not be, for he is a smart smart d00d~)

-OUT-

No Misspellings found
dig it.

"Snuggle Momma...?"

...was all my daughter kept asking me tonight as I attempted to put her to bed.
That little face, that sweet high pitched voice of hers, as she looked up at me with those charcoal almond eyes & a glimmer of hope in them that perhaps, just maybe, Momma might snuggle...


...might my ass, YOU BET YOUR TOOKUS I'LL SNUGGLE BABY!

Rock on with the snuggling!


Then, of course you know that no snuggle would be complete WITHOUT some adorable conversation, right?

Allow me:

R: Momma, no rainbows, no rainbows...
A: No baby, no rainbows right now, it's dark out. We'll see them in the morning though, once the sun is out, ok?
R: No sun, Momma, no Rainbows. Sun!
A: That's right baby, the rainbows don't come out unless the sun is out too luvie...
R: Momma?
A: Yes Ruby?
R: Uhh Voo Momma... Snuggle. *grabs my finger with her whole hand...*

*smiles*

Life.
Is.
Good.

=)

The "*Muddy" Truth...

(...a conversation.)

mom4ruby: have a good night did ya?
kristen: hi
mom4ruby: hi
kristen: my sister is over
mom4ruby: kewl
kristen: we are watching the first season of prison break
mom4ruby: my frien andrew is over
mom4ruby: kewl
kristen: friend
kristen: " "
mom4ruby: never seen it but heard it rocked
mom4ruby: yes, just friend
kristen: it does
mom4ruby: Muddy was gonna come over
mom4ruby: said he would
kristen: did you hear from muddy
mom4ruby: but as usual, a dissappointment again.
kristen: did he remember puking in my kitchen
mom4ruby: same shit different day
mom4ruby: not really
kristen: that sucks
kristen: dont put up with that
kristen: it is crap
mom4ruby: he also doesn't remember completely missing the fucking bowl in my bathroom
mom4ruby: I know
mom4ruby: did you check the blog? L;OL
kristen: negative
mom4ruby: I blogged about it, it's my way of venting
kristen: didnt have time today
mom4ruby: What I Got For Christmas... (a true story)
mom4ruby: (this is what I said)
kristen: and i forgot the name of it... can you email it to me ?
mom4ruby: ...if you're waiting to hear of wonderful fluffy gifts & fabulously fantastic fare, keep waitin'.

This story starts simply, with;
1 Matty,
1 Amy,
1 Neighbor
(we'll call her Kristen)
Several dozen shots of Sambuca
&
a pool table
(& no partridge in a pear tree...)
mom4ruby: I'm cutting to the chase, the story is far too involved to get into here, HOWEVER...
mom4ruby: it ends simply, with;

a little puke
a drunk friend
a sober friend
passed out on the bed
erratic movement towards the bathroom in a sad attempt to pee
MISSING THE TOILET COMPLETELY
and then,
crashing on my couch & being covered over by a friend who loves him FAR TOO MUCH.
kristen: lol
kristen: halarious
mom4ruby: So, let's recap...

I didn't drink,
I didn't throw up,
I didn't piss & miss the bowl,
I DID clean up BOTH OF THE ABOVE just because,

and here I sit blogging to you all.

Oh, but the very end of my story is a good one,
I am in LOVE WITH MY NEW PERFUME
which masks the aforementioned scents of items above.
All is right with my 'Light Blue' Christmas.
God Bless Dolce & Gabbana!

*& damn the sambuca*

g'night...
(couch situation will be updated as new events unfold...)
mom4ruby: OMG and fyi, I got TWO bottles of that shit
mom4ruby: so if you end up liking it you may have one of them if you like.
kristen: lol
kristen: hey i am being beckoned...
mom4ruby: it's seriously disgusting how much I'm in love with the way I smell, there must be a support group or something for me.
mom4ruby: ok ttyl
mom4ruby: have a good night!
kristen: ill catch you
kristen: lol
mom4ruby: later gater
kristen: yes there should be a support group
mom4ruby: again, sorry about Muddy
kristen: even my mom noticed how in love with him y ou were
mom4ruby: no more gin for him.
mom4ruby: OMG SHE DID NOT
kristen: she said you can do better... LOL
kristen: no kidding
kristen: yes she did
mom4ruby: wtf did she say?
mom4ruby: it's THAT OBVIOUS?
mom4ruby: ugh
kristen: lol
kristen: yes
kristen: night
mom4ruby: g'night hon
Yahoo! Messenger: kristen has signed out

*a nickname given to Matty in a drunken stupor by our dear Kristen as she attempted to call him both 'Matty' & 'Buddy' at the same time; hence is born:
Muddy.

What I Got For Christmas... (a true story)

...if you're waiting to hear of wonderful fluffy gifts & fabulously fantastic fare, keep waitin'.

This story starts simply, with;
1 Matty,
1 Amy,
1 Neighbor
(we'll call her Kristen)
Several dozen shots of Sambuca
&
a pool table
(& no partridge in a pear tree...)

I'm cutting to the chase, the story is far too involved to get into here, HOWEVER...

it ends simply, with;

a little puke
a drunk friend
a sober friend
passed out on the bed
erratic movement towards the bathroom in a sad attempt to pee
MISSING THE TOILET COMPLETELY
and then,
crashing on my couch & being covered over by a friend who loves him FAR TOO MUCH.

So, let's recap...

I didn't drink,
I didn't throw up,
I didn't piss & miss the bowl,
I DID clean up BOTH OF THE ABOVE just because,

and here I sit blogging to you all.

Oh, but the very end of my story is a good one,
I am in LOVE WITH MY NEW PERFUME
which masks the aforementioned scents of items above.
All is right with my 'Light Blue' Christmas.
God Bless Dolce & Gabbana!

*& damn the sambuca*

g'night...
(couch situation will be updated as new events unfold...)

Santa Drives A Car?

According to my daughter, he does. LOL

Allow me to share with you all the conversation that took place this morning:

Me: "Hi Ruby, guess who CAME LAST NIGHT?!"
Ruby: "Who Momma?"
Me: "Santa, baby girl!"
Ruby: "Car? Car? Car?"
Me: "No sweetie, Santa rides in a sleigh and is pulled by reindeer!"
Ruby: "No, Momma, CAR! CAR! CAR!"
Me: "Oh, really...? Well, what color car does Santa drive?"
Ruby: "White car Momma!"

So, there you have it, Santa drives a WHITE CAR!

(My kid doesn't lie!)
HEHEHEHE

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

Christmas Kisses...

Christmas Smiles...

Christmas Giggles...

Why is it that I ALWAYS wait till the last minute...

... to get one of THESE every year!?!??

Yes, I did order that exact one &
you bet your ASS I'm totally PSYCHED for it to GET HERE!

Now, I'm good to go for ~2007~...
*got my pj's ready!*
'smile'
hehehe

Let's ring in the new year CHINA STYLE!

Merry Christmas...

...sleep well baby, Santa's on his way!

(& while I know you asked for bristle blocks this year,
I'm pretty sure Bear asked if he could bring you a pillow- can ya BLAME HIM?!)

I'm ok, you're ok...

...is the theme of my Christmas Eve this year.

First, let me start this post by telling you all that I'm feeling a little under the weather,
nothing major, but just enough to warrant a little extra sleep this morning and my daughter KNOWS when I don't feel so good. I don't know how she knows, but she does.

Today, I woke up at 9am.
NINE A.M.!
Upon realizing the time, I panicked & jumped up to grab the monitor
& listen in on what my girl ( who is typically up at 8am) was doing
after having been lying awake for over an hour alone in her crib...

...what do I hear?
*talking*
"Uhh Vooo Bear... Hi! No, red bwanket, puhpull one, Momma?
No, shhh Bear... nigh nigh shh...etc"

I smiled from ear to ear, how amazing is my little girl that she KNOWS that if I haven't come in to get her yet, there is a reason & she's PATIENT & waits because she KNOWS I will come in as soon as I'm up. UNBELIEVABLE!

I jump up, throw my sweats on, my hair up in a clip & grab my glasses & tip toe into her room...

...I turn the corner & she catches sight of me & says:

"Hiiiiii Momma!"
I said: "Hiiii Baby! How are you? Did you sleep well?"

She thinks for a moment & says;
"Momma, you ok?"
I about near fell over.

"Awwww honey, I'm ok baby, Momma was just tired today. Are you ok?"

her reply?

"I ok Momma... *smile*"

MAN I LOVE THIS KID!!!!!!!!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

The Nose Picker

Vs.

The Messy Hair Giggler...

*grin*

(I'm pretty sure it's going to be a close match!)

Do Not Disturb...

...a girl & her bear,

ESPECIALLY when SMOOCHING!
(& yes she ALWAYS makes that face when making out with her buddy)
hehehe
So damn cute...

So Hard To Say...

...goodbye.

Yes, sadly, it's time to say 'goodbye' to my beloved & loyal 'sippy'
that I've had LITERALLY for over 5 years.
(feel free to laugh now if you'd like...)

*sigh*


See that sippy on the left? That's my old one, it was with me when I was first diagnosed with MS, it was with me for that long trip to CHINA, it kept me hydrated WHILE IN CHINA
and was Ruby's FIRST SIPPY as she would NOT take any of the ones I had brought for her... she only wanted to 'share Momma's'.
But, as you can see... mine is old, faded & finally, just recently, suffered a small 'crack' right under where my black hair elastic always sits snug ready for use.
(hair in my face pisses me off so you can never be ready enough
to pop that shit up in a pony tail, right?!)
When I first bought it, it looked JUST LIKE THE BRIGHTLY COLORED ONE ON THE RIGHT!
(no lie)
But alas, all good things must come to an end, this is also true with sippy's.

My NEWEST FRIEND (<--- click there & then click on the SUN for "summer stuff" & scroll through the photos till you come to the 22oz Freezer Bottles/style #020) comes with brothers & sisters this time...
...a gift from my friend & ex boyfriend, Scott.

He asked me what I wanted for Christmas & I told him, nothing... that I didn't need anything.
Then, the crack happened & I was so beside myself with everything that's going on in my life that I figured, "great, what a way to get kicked when you're down..."
I know, it's JUST A SIPPY, but when you drink as much water as I do & like the convenience of having it ready & available to you in a NON SPILL way,
IT'S WORTH IT'S WEIGHT IN GOLD, FRANKLY!

So, goodbye old friend, you've served me well & now that I've said a proper 'goodbye',
I can finally lay you to rest in the recycle bin.
May you be turned into another sippy to bring happiness to
someone else for many more years to come...

-End-

Patiently Waiting...

...as Bear's often do.

Sliding with Momma is something I LOVE to DO!


(Actually, that's a lie... she CHUCKS ME down that thing EVERY TIME
& I land NOSE DOWN IN THE DIRT! We just had to say that other stuff, so that it would 'rhyme'. Rhyme/schmyme... NEXT TIME LET'S PAINT INSTEAD!
-Bear)

Unbelievable...

...that I can live in a place where THIS article's title is ACCEPTABLE?

I reside in one of the most liberal BLUEST states in the nation,
yet THIS CRAP has to make it's way into my daily paper.

I understand that the article is speaking out against China's new regulations concerning International Adoption, but the powers that be here at the Boston Herald,
should have chosen more wisely their wording for that title, period.

I mean, what happened? Didn't we put ourselves on the map for being the FIRST STATE TO LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE? I was never more proud that day of the place I called 'home'.


Sure, ok so you can be gay & get married, rock on, what's next, oops, be careful, before you know it you'll be told you can't be fat & ugly & gay & marry?
And forget about adopting from china if you fall under those categories...
...perish the thought!

And WHOSE TO SAY WHAT'S FAT & UGLY ANYWAY?
Society's view on beauty is what is the UGLIEST OF ALL in my eyes!
Sure, I'm a bigger woman than most, but you know what, there are TONS of guys who FIND ME PERFECTLY SEXY AS IS!
Who's to say what is BEAUTY & what ISN'T?
Sadly, in the case of china, if Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, than China being the beholder, us fatty's are out of luck, and God forbid if you have a repaired cleft lip etc,
I COULD PUKE I'M SO ANGRY AT THIS!

The article is basically SLAMMING the CCAI'S new rules regarding INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION but COMPLETELY FAILS TO SEE THAT THEY'RE ONLY PERPETUATING THE UGLINESS BY USING THEIR TITLE:

"FAT AND UGLY CAN'T ADOPT FROM CHINA"

You know, far be it from me to tell them how to do their job, but...
couldn't it have said "New CCAI rules leave many heartbroken..."
or even
"Love & ability to provide may not prove enough to new Chinese standards..."
etc...

ANYTHING BUT FAT & UGLY CAN'T ADOPT FROM CHINA!

Shame on you Boston Herald, shame on anyone who had a hand in printing such a title that you thought for even a SECOND that that was ACCEPTABLE!

(Because it WASN'T!)

And don't even get me started on the other issue at hand...

...by these new regulations & restrictions, China is essentially saying that me, ME
that I'm unfit to parent my child, my Ruby.

And that, to me, just is NOT ok in my book.


I'll tell you one thing, in a year or two, when Ruby is able to articulate her feelings with words, I'll be sure to ask her if she feels I'm a fit mother, and share with you all, her answer.
But for right now, I'm pretty sure all the hugs & kisses & 'uh voo Momma's' speak for themselves, this 'single fat momma' is doing A'Ok as far as Ruby is concerned.

My heart now breaks for the many families who will
not be able to adopt under these new guidelines.
I pray that they will all find their way to their children-
some way,
some how,
some form
& with Godspeed.

The Smell of Matty...

...is something I just absolutely LOVE!

Whenever I see him,
whether it's for a quick minute or a lengthy visit,
he leaves his scent on me.
We hug,
there it is...
We kiss,
his scent is on me to stay...

Just like most of you all,
I'm sure you don't just wear jeans 'once'...
...I know I don't.

The same goes for winter sweaters,
although those are only a 'twice worn' option
where as the jeans are clearly more of a 3 or 4 time option.

I was at Matty's last night, visiting him & his family while Ruby slept
& Nonno was on 'monitor patrol',
and from all the hugs & kisses I received & gave,
Matty is now here with me this very second,
if not in the physical sense,
definitely in the yummy scents!

So, as I slipped my favorite cranberry sweater over my head this morning,
there it was...

...my Matty.
To just sit there & inhale him, in that moment...

...pure heaven.

His smell is around me,
on me,
near me,
part of me.

I feel like he's wrapped himself around me for the worlds best & longest hug ever.
That is a gift in & of itself...
...lest we take into account the fact that he also gave Ruby & me a Christmas gift as well.
I'm just feeling very blessed tonight...

...blessed & a little lucky too.

At night when Ruby & I give thanks for the people in our lives who make us smile,
Matty is always at the top of that list.
Thank you, Matty.
We love you, always.

-Us

Tuesdays with Uncle Steve... (Tues, Dec 19th, 2006)

...CHEDDAR BROCCOLI SOUP WITH BACON, CARROTS & ONIONS!

Oh.
My.
God.

THIS SOUP ROCKED!




And NO I did NOT make it, OUR VERY OWN UNCLE STEVE CONJURED UP THIS FIERCE BOWL OF HEAVEN & TO PROVE IT ALL TO YOU, ALLOW US TO SHARE IN THE JOY THAT IS, EVIL CHEEZE YUMMY VEGGIE SOUP!

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon butter, melted
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1/4 cup melted butter
1/4 cup flour
2 cups half-and-half
2 cups chicken stock or bouillon
1 package frozen chopped broccoli

1 cup carrots, julienned
salt and pepper to taste
4 strips thick cut bacon, chopped

8 ounces grated sharp cheddar

Directions:
Saute onion in butter. Set aside. Cook bacon and set aside as well. Cook melted butter and flour using a whisk over medium heat for 3-5 minutes. Stir constantly and slowly add the half-and-half (this is called making a roux). Add the chicken stock whisking all the time. Simmer for 20 minutes.

Add the broccoli, carrots and onions. Cook over low heat until the veggies are tender for 20-25 minutes. Add salt, pepper, and bacon. The soup should be thickened by now. Pour in batches into blender and puree (I don't have a blender so I used a hand mixer and mixed it right in the pot on high speed). Return to pot over low heat and add the grated cheese; stir until well blended.



Serve with a CRAPTON of HOT BUTTERED BISCUITS AND OH MY GRAVY YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF ONE HELL OF A DINNER!!!!!!!!!!

*thud* sorry, my fat ass just fell out of the chair, I ate too much!



hehehehe

Concentration + Dedication =

...Rainbow Creation.