Busy, Busy, Busy...

...that's life these days in the Ruby Cate household. On top of being really busy with the new bookmyblog business, (2 orders & counting...) Miss Ruby has been going through some, shall we say, trying times as of late. Not sure what to think of them or how to even put my finger on them but they're here. It wasn't just the temper tantrum where she slapped my father in the face, twice. Or the day at the park where she felt it necessary to take her GINORMOUS bottle of BUBBLES and giggle as she called my name & proceeded to pour them over her feet, socks, shoes & all. And it certainly wasn't the time that I was trying to get a little work done & asked her three times to STOP screaming, (she does that alot around the house with Bear, but a silly 'having fun' type screaming, not the type where she's angry at the world or anything, but SCREAMING nonetheless...) no it couldn't POSSIBLY be that. But today, for me, the breaking point was when we were at the home of a local adoptive mother who also happens to teach the catechises class for Ruby's upcoming baptismal, and Ruby thought it necessary to tear this womans house APART whilst having THE MOTHER OF ALL BREAKDOWNS complete with screaming, throwing things, kicking, etc... NOT good times.

After calming her down enough to have a conversation with her (still at this woman's house mind you) I asked her why she was so upset...

Now before I tell you her answer I must preface this by saying that this woman & her husband are also adoptive parents. Their daughter, Caroline, was born in Jiangxi province, China and is currently 15 months old. They returned from China this past December & it's no coincidence that she, is who was chosen to teach me my Catechises lessons prior to the services at the end of the month.

I never just haul Ruby anywhere without first sitting down with her & explaining to her WHERE we are going, WHO is going to be there & WHY our visit is necessary.

She knew that there was a girl from China there, she knew that we were just going to visit & she KNEW that we'd leave once the lesson was over.

What I DIDN'T KNOW however, was that she was going to act out in a way that I never could have seen coming.

Ok, so back to her answer as to why this sudden behavioral uproar...:

Me: "Ruby, why are you behaving so naughty fresh today?"
Ruby: "Ruby NO WANNA GO BACK A CHINA! RUBY STAY HEA WIF MOMMA! RUBY NO GO!"
Me: (stunned that she even thought that) "Ruby, sweetie, I love you very much and I can promise you that we are NOT going back to China, and YOU, my dear, are VERY STUCK WITH ME for ever and ever and ever. Ruby, you are my favorite person in the whole wide world, remember?"
Ruby: "Yes Momma, I remener. Nayme we go home now affa I howd baby Carloine tight tight tight an gentle, ok?"
Me: "Ruby, baby Caroline wants her Momma to hold her right now but I am sure you can say hi & give her a GENTLE hug, ok?"
Ruby: "An pway wiff her toys, ok Momma? An NO GO A CHINA! Ok Momma?"
Me: "Ok Ruby, that sounds like a deal."
Ruby: "Fank you Momma. I wuv you soooo much. Fank you no Ruby going a China anymore. Ruby an Momma stay hea foreva an eva, deal?"
Me: "Deal." (hugging her so tight & hoping that my tears aren't overflowing from my eye sockets.)

I had NO IDEA that she would understand this meeting to mean that she might be given away or sent back to China. It just shows me how little I really understand about how my daughter processes her past prior to me and how much more sensitive I need to be concerning this topic because we clearly still have alot of work to do to instill in her that, for better or worse, I'm hers and she's mine, forever. Period.

Any thoughts on this one? Ideas & assvice appreciated...

Thanks.