Slow & Steady...
...so I went & had my one on one with the surgeon yesterday. Seems that even though I've lost the weight they told me to lose & did everything they asked, I'm still an "Apple." Who knew? So, what does that mean you ask? Well, it means that I'm still pretty 'solid' around the middle, which means that I need to lose another 20 lbs before he's comfortable operating on me. Nice. Which means that now, my surgery date is no longer May 28th, but they've moved it back to June 18th. 
Now, in the grand scheme of things, OBVIOUSLY whatever is healthier & SAFER FOR ME is what I want. But to have been immersed in this journey for over seven months now, I really was looking forward to the light at the end of the tunnel... and that light had a date. May 28th.
Not so much.
I know, every time I look at Ruby & enjoy the blessing that she is, I am reminded that this isn't a race, but more a safe journey to a new life, one that will hopefully be a long & healthy one full of all the happiness I have come to enjoy being Ruby's Mom.
I just hope that once I lose the rest of this weight & June rolls around, that they don't then say to me that I need to lose more weight & push it back even further to say, 2009? Ugh, how that would not be what I want to hear.
You know, I know this isn't a place for chatting about politics or religion, but I do think that everything happens for a reason and perhaps there's a reason I am now attending church again. Sure it was initially to introduce Ruby to it but it seems that now, more than ever, I'll need every one of God's graces to help me through this, for as patient as I know I can be, it's my guess that this whole process will dance on every last one of my nerves before all's said & done.
God grant me strength!
3 comments:
Wow Amy... I had no idea people had to lose weight before having weight loss surgery! Congrats on all the hard work you are doing.
Yes, I was asked to lose 20lbs, which I did, and now I have to do it all over again. Only this time, I only have a month in which to do it, where as initially, I lost the first 20 over a period of 4 months. It's all about learning how to eat healthy & retrain your brain into HOW to eat what you eat... not JUST eating healthy, but eating the protein FIRST, once protein's gone, THEN the veggie/fruit and once that's gone, then the carb IF you're even hungry for a carb by then, which most likely, after surgery, I won't be. My stomach will be the size of an egg. Oh, also... no liquids with meals, period. Stop drinking an hour before meals & not so much as a sip until an hour AFTER you finish eating. This isn't just for now, it's for the rest of my life. I'm getting used to it surprisingly, but it certainly wasn't an easy transition to make. Like for instance, this morning I'm currently enjoying my morning cup of tea. Once I'm done that, I have to look at the clock. If it's 8:30, then I wait till 9:30 to have my breakfast, which will either be yogurt, or an egg, or a string cheese. Period.
All in the name of health & living as long as I can for the world's most beautiful Ruby Cate Pei Mu ever to grace my life.
Worth it?
You bet'cha.
=)
Oh, also... I'm having my surgery done laproscopically, which is another reason they require weight loss prior to the procedure. Otherwise, they'd just cut me open & that's just not an option for me. The less scarring, the better. My tummy already looks like a 'connect the dots' puzzle from all the MS related scars from my subcutaneous self-injections of the Rebif.
Well, I can understand not wanting to be cut open! I'm about to be cut open on May 23...and am SO dreading. They will attempt laparoscopic surgery, but because of scar tissue from a ruptured appendix and another surgery, they don't think it will be possible.
That is a big change in eating hsbits... congrats on doing so well with it. And you are right... it is all SO worth it for many many years with Ruby!
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