Ruby's Word Cloud...

So, taking a page from our dear friend's Karen & Gwen,
Ruby is pleased to share with everyone, her her very own Word Cloud...

I have GOT TO...

... get myself OUT of this FUNK I'm in!!!

This morning as I sat at the computer to check my email for any job replies,
(there were none...)
I looked up & noticed the date... March 21st... March 21st?
How can that be?
I missed the 20th?!?!?
But wait, I couldn't have missed the 20th!
That's the anniversary of the day Ruby and I first held each other,
kissed each other,
became mother & daughter,
cried together,
dried each other's tears,
forever became a perfect size family of TWO!

Wow, I'm a horrible mother to have forgotten such an important day...

...yesterday was four months, FOUR MONTHS!

Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been that long & then other times it seems like that's not NEARLY long enough because clearly Ruby & I have been together FOREVER!

Over the past days when I took a much needed break from blogging, I spent alot of time just being Ruby's Mom.... and what I realized is that, no matter where anyone is in their life, if you're a Mom, hell, if you're a PARENT, you're going to worry.

Even when things are all going great & money isn't an issue,
you'll still worry.
Successful businessmen worry...
hardworking single mothers worry...
unemployed people worry...
friends of those parents worry...
family members of those parents worry...


...and friends that you've never met but who follow your blog religiously worry.

I want to thank everyone who took the time to leave me a heartfelt comment and also those who took the time to email me privately with some of the most amazing letters I think I've ever had the pleasure of reading, most of which brought tears to my eyes.
I will never delete those letters & cherrish their words forever.
It's nice to know that even in strangers, friendship can be found.

I had a woman & her daughter who had stumbled upon my blog & read it daily come down from CANADA! We visited & I took her & her adorable daughter into Salem & we went & saw the Yin Yu Tang: A Chinese House and it was nice to be a 'tourist' in my own neighborhood.
Truth be told I had never seen the inside of that museum, once. (truly a shame)
But it was a nice distraction from sitting at home & just worrying about where the money is going to come from, ya know?

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'll be ok.
I don't know how.
I don't know when.
I don't know why.
I just know I will.

Thank you to everyone who waited patiently for my return to blogging, I think that most of you were right, that leaving blogging is kinda silly since it's pretty theraputic to be able to put my thoughts down to 'blog' and mull them over.

I have a wonderful following of friends out here in Blogland, and I love & thank you all for your patience, understanding and kind words.

I had friends who I know & love dearly send a surprise package to this house in Ruby's name
to cheer us up, and it helped, it really did.
(Thank you Thia! Ruby loves you SO MUCH!)

And cuz I KNOW you're all dying for at least a pic or two... here are some from my day in Salem with Shauna & macLean...

Momma & Ruby at the Salem Beer Works for lunch...



Ruby enjoying her hotdog & fries for lunch...
(do you KNOW how MESSY it is to take the skin OFF a hotdog ??)
YUCK! hehehe


macLean & her Mom Shauna enjoying their afternoon in Salem...


Entrance to: Yin Yu Tang / The China House...


Little Miss Ruby Cate fitting RIGHT IN with the museum's DECOR... hehehe
(and for those of you who either have forgotten or didn't know this, the lions are at the entrance to most places 'CHINA' and the MALE is the one on the left, he is ALWAYS on the left but it's not how you'll remember it's the male, clearly it's cuz he's the one playing with his 'BALL'! LOL how fitting... sorry Johnny!
And the female, always on the right, is the one with the baby under her paw...
The females always caring for the little ones,
the male always playing with his ball.
HAHAHAHAHA

Sorry, I just get SUCH A KICK OUT OF THAT! MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME!

Anyway... so, in a nutshell:

I'M BACK!

I've missed you all just as much if not more than you've missed me blogging,
I can promise you that... SO,

Let the blogging' BEGIN!

M.I.A.

Ruby & I will be M.I.A. (missing in action)
for a little while... as I'm not really in a 'blogging' kinda place to be honest.
Stress & MS don't mix all that well and every time I log in the first thing I see is my daughter's precious face & then I'm reminded that soon I am going to be seriously struggling to provide the basic necessities for her.
My little girl hasn't a clue what I'm facing, nor should she.
Kids should be carefree & silly & happy without a worry in the world.
... it's what us Mom's are for,
to do the worrying all the while trying to put on a happy face.

I just hope that in the process I don't have a mental break down or another MS attack from the stress... Sorry to those of you who read me on a daily basis but this 'funny girl/mom' is scared to death & just needs some time to pray, regroup, hope for a miracle... pick one.

One last glimpse of my reason for living...


...until we return, everyone please take care.

-Amy & Ruby Cate

Anyone in the mood for a PARTY?

...ok, as most of you may know, I've been a professional Nanny for many years, 15+ to be exact. In all those years I never once had to collect unemployment, which came in handy when it was time for me to stay home with Ruby... granted it's not nearly as much as I was making when I was working but it was enough to get by and enjoy every day with my child.

Sadly, my unemployment days are coming to a close with my last week to collect being the first week of April.
Normally, I wouldn't worry because I always tend to find more work but it's different now. I have a child to consider... I want to care for someone's child in the comfort & safety of my own home rather than commute to them as in all the previous years. Seems easy enough but there are alot of families who aren't 'keen' on this idea, don't ask but it's just the way it is.

... with my money slowly dissappearing & a child looking to me to provide, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified, because I am.
I look daily in the classified's, check through my network of friends & the 'word of mouth' system, look constantly on craigslist etc... but nothing.
It's weird, I was just talking tonight to a friend of mine who is also a Nanny & she said she wished she could help me out but it seems like whenever there are families in need of a Nanny, we all have work... and on the flip side, when there's a bunch of us Nannies in need of employment, no families can be found.
Let's add to this the fact that I'm a single mother with no husband to help out & make the stress just a little less.... and let's toss in some MS for good measure keeping in mind all the while that since going on unemployment I've gone 'sans' health ins... oh yes, this is my PITY (holy shit I'm terrified, what am I gonna do)PARTY.. and you're all invited so please, won't you pull up a chair & I'll pour you a steaming cup of tea? (It's about all I can offer at this point so hopefully that'll do...)

Any suggestions on what to do to try to make it through April
without suffering from a nervous breakdown in front of my daughter?
Or how to start earning money quick? Or maybe anyone have a rich uncle?
It sucks but this is honestly the first time in a LONG time that I'm officially terrified...
...keep both Ruby & Me in your prayers please, I know we'll need all we can get!

18 months & counting...

Miss Ruby had her 18 month checkup today... she did great!

Here are her stats:

Height: 32.25 in.
Weight: 23 lbs.

She's in the 50th percentile for both height & weight and our doctor says she's doing excellent.
She was beyond impressed with how Ruby understands not only English but Italian as well.
I asked her (in both languages) to show the doctor where her nose was & where her leg was etc... and asked in random order & mixed up the languages to try to catch her off guard... but not so much with my little snickerdoodle!
Regardless of what language I spoke to her in, the kid was ON THE MONEY with her responses every time! She also knows a few signs & was able to tell the doctor that yes, she'd like 'more tea' LOL hahaha too cute.

She did get a shot today poor thing, I was not one of her favorite people after having to hold her snug long enough for the nurse to get at her arm. Let's just say that if looks could kill, I'd have to have my friend Karen post this one for me as I'd be six feet under from the STARE my child gave me after the nurse left. LOL Thankfully it never lasts that long because once we get in the car & head to the store to get a few things for dinner, I picked up some 'pirates booty' and MAN DID SHE LOVE THAT STUFF! Smiles all around & some well deserved booty for a successful doctor's visit. Next visit June 13th... we'll see what the next few months hold for my little girl & what new milestones she'll conquer next! *grin*

Crib Bumpers??

Sure they're cute & snazz up the crib, but MAKE NO MISTAKE,
they're A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS to put on and off when you have to wash them!!!
So, why am I bitching? I'm not, I'm here to sing their praises, because regardless of how much I HATE having to take them down to wash them & then put them ALL BACK ON with those TEENIE TINY LITTLE (never long enough) ties & TIE EACH SET ON INDIVIDUALLY, I do it every time.

WHY?

... because without them, I wouldn't be able to snap shots like this one.

My girl looks SO COMFORTABLE & completely lost in her dreams next to her best pal Bear.


I mean, look at that rested little face... not a care in the world & toasty as can be... all because she's got her own personal little 'crib ottoman' if you will.

Put your feet up Baby, sleep any way you want to, just be cozy & happy...
...Momma will continue to fuss with that obnoxious thing each & every time... why?

...because I love you.

Rainbow Brite's got NOTHIN' on my daughter!

Friends for life...

This is Hanna (aka: Hanna Banana), with my fuzzy son, Ebenezer...

I met Hanna when she was only a few weeks old &
I became not only her Nanny, but her friend.

Shortly after becoming her Nanny, I adopted one very sweet, very little, 7lb English Cocker Spaniel & named him Ebenezer.
He & Hanna (being the same age, they're both 10 now)
grew up together & became the best of friends...

...and still are to this day.

Hanna and I remain very close even though it's been more than 6 years since working for her family. She does still call me 'Nanny' (she always has), and I think it's adorable... always loved that.
She spent the night the other night with Ruby & me, but as you can see from these pictures, it's obvious who she truly wanted to be with.
Ebenezer and her have a friendship that can't be put into words...
...but is easily seen through photographs.

Nanny loves you Hanna!! And Ebenezer too!!

Piggy Bank?? Magic Mirror??

Eh, who knows WHO CARES! This thing's better than Momma's MAGIC 8 BALL!!!

*grin*

Ruby & Bear Hit the LIBRARY!

Ruby: "Ok Momma, let's HIT THE ROAD!"
Bear: "Ruby, why is your seatbelt normal & mine's got me in a choke hold??"

Ruby: "Wow Bear, Look at all these BOOKS!"
Bear: " Ruby, I can't see anything but the inside of your nose..."


Ruby: "Ok so let's check this place out... it looks pretty fun don't you think?"
Bear: "The carpet looks lovely..."


Ruby: "Wow, what's this funky looking thing? I think I'll try it!"
Bear: "I think I just pulled a muscle in my back..."


Ruby: "Here Bear, you sit here while I give these things a whirl..."
Bear: "Oh yeah, this is far more comfortable... *not*"


Bear: "Ok, is it just ME or does ANYONE see anything WRONG with this picture??"


Ruby: "I'm sorry Momma, what's that? I did what to Bear?"


Ruby: "Awww buddy, I'm SO SORRY! *kiss*
I just got a little excited cuz we've never been here before & it's just so much fun! "
Bear: "Ruby, I love you too but now you're covering my nose & I can't BREATHE!"


Ruby: "Here pal... you sit here, that should be more comfortable than the last time!"
Bear: "MUCH BETTER! Ahhh FINALLY my back isn't hurting!"


Ruby: "Ok... so if I could just get this blue thingie up & around..."
Bear: "Take ALL THE TIME YOU NEED RUBY! I'm fine RIGHT HERE!"


Ruby: "Ooooh, LOOK OVER HERE, THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!"
Bear: "Uh, Ruby... where you going?"


Bear: "Ok ,you SO just LEFT me HANGING HERE!"


Bear: "And now I've fallen... *sigh*"

*I See... (*romper room flash back for those of you old enough to remember.)

I See my old faithful friend, Ebenezer, and...

Sleeping Beauty & the Moon, and...

Lots of PEARLY WHITES, and...



Teething toddler, and...


THE BEST BED HEAD EVER!!!

But most of all, I see my beloved dog and my beautiful daughter,
and I wouldn't change a THING!

*grin*

Bald is Beautiful...

Silly is as Silly does...

As silly as can be...

Ah... the POWER OF WORDS!

Dictionary Schmictionary! <----- CLICK ME YOU KNOW YOU WANNA!

Jeans @ Starbucks?

Ahhh... is there anything better than a BRAND NEW PAIR OF JEANS???

I THINK NOT! (unless it's CHOCOLATE!)hehehe
Ok, so here's what I wanna know people... since WHEN did Jeans STOP being called 'Jeans' AND START Being called : AUTHENTIC NONSTRETCH BOOTCUT NATRUAL WAIST, STRAIGHT HIP & THIGH, STLIGHTLY FLARED LEG (aka: MORE IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY MUCH LESS LOCATE & BUY! Honestly, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO BUY JEANS AT STARBUCKS!!! )

Me:"Yes, I'd like a pair of jeans please?"
Them: "I'm sorry? and what kind of Jeans would you be interested in today?"
Me: "Uh... blue, jeans?"
Them: "*annoying pissy "I hate that I have to be nice to you cuz you're the customer" smile* Ah... Maam, what KIND of blue jeans? We have tall nonfat flare, or cropped frappe'pedal pushers' we have grande bootcut with whipped cream, then there's button'espresso fly in natural regular...etc"
Me: "*headache starting to brew hardcore* Uh... Ok, just a 'REGULAR' pair of BLUE JEANS in my SIZE will do... zipper waist if that's not too much to ask... Oh, and hold the whipped cream, I'll get that later at Pretzel Time..."
Them: *evil look in their eyes* Maam, Really, they all have zippers...
Me: "It's Amy actually, NOT Maam, and I'm sorry, what did you say your name was? Satan?? Look, I'm old enough to have CHANGED YOUR DIAPERS *underbreath* you little snot..., And ACTUALLY you JUST DID SAY that you had BUTTON'ESPRESSO FLY in NATURAL REGULAR, and since I want ZIPPER then CLEARLY I should SPECIFY CORRECT?
Them: "Well MAAM, *evil shit eatin'grin through gritted teeth* Yes I MAY have mentioned that...
Me: "Look, I'll just find my own pair ok? Thanks for your help *not*..."
Them: *yelling down the back of the store to a fellow 'snotnose employee'* "OMG I'M GOING ON BREAK, ANYONE WANT ANYTHING AT STARBUCKS???"

And so you can see why EVEN THOUGH IT PAINS ME TO SEE JEANS ASSUMING THEIR PLACE IN THE 'ANNOYANCE WHEEL OF SHIT' they are a necessity and so, I ignore all who work in the store & HELP MYSELF to a fantastic pair of jeans that were EASY TO FIND once I didn't have ms.snotnose trying to crawl up my ass & set up camp for a SALE! (hate those people!)

In all fairness, I have to say that for years now I've shopped at Lane Bryant (that's clothing for us 'big & beautiful' gals) and I really do LOVE THEIR JEANS! They last forever & get more comfortable with every wash! So what if trying to locate the pair I want makes my eyes cross & my head spin? I just need to know my size (24 petite) and the style I like (REGULAR BLUE W/ZIPPER *ugh*) and I'm all set.

And yes, even for us bigger girls there is such a thing as 'petite' although I have to admit I laugh OUT LOUD in the store every time I see ANYTHING with 'petite' on it, cuz... let's face it ladies, Lane Bryant isn't a SKINNY CHICK STORE! It's for the sexy, selfconfidant REAL WOMAN WITH CURVES! (aka:fatty mc'fat) but you know what, after losing over 80lbs, I could care less what it's called, cuz I was wearing a size that was SO BIG that Lane Bryant DIDN'T EVEN CARRY IT!... that's right, there was a time when all I could fit into was sweat pants & yoga stuff... fun fun fun... NOT!

So to now be able to go in & pick out a size that ISN'T their biggest size & try it on & have it fit me so nice & comfy and smile knowing that, no only does it fit but it LOOKS DAMN GOOD ON ME, well.. that's pretty fanfriggentastic* in my book! (*and yes, that's a word... I think I'm going to start my own Amyla' Dictionary... and my friend Jen can back me up on this & probably contribute many words herself as we each have our own special language. LOL )

Anyhoo... so Ruby had a blast at the mall, after I bought my new jeans, we went down to the lower level to the 'kids play area' and Ruby had herself a BLAST!!! Running around & laughing & being so silly that every parent in there was smiling & telling both myself and my mother how 'beautiful & funny & adorable' she was... I smile outside, & inside my heart is borderline bursting... A. because they're right, and B. because I feel like THE luckiest Momma in the world!

How was everyone else's day today? C'MON LURKERS... SPILL THE DETAILS, I'd love to know, AND ANYONE WITH A NEW 'AMYLA WORD' for my dictionary, feel free to share! =)