Jeans @ Starbucks?

Ahhh... is there anything better than a BRAND NEW PAIR OF JEANS???

I THINK NOT! (unless it's CHOCOLATE!)hehehe
Ok, so here's what I wanna know people... since WHEN did Jeans STOP being called 'Jeans' AND START Being called : AUTHENTIC NONSTRETCH BOOTCUT NATRUAL WAIST, STRAIGHT HIP & THIGH, STLIGHTLY FLARED LEG (aka: MORE IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY MUCH LESS LOCATE & BUY! Honestly, IT'S LIKE TRYING TO BUY JEANS AT STARBUCKS!!! )

Me:"Yes, I'd like a pair of jeans please?"
Them: "I'm sorry? and what kind of Jeans would you be interested in today?"
Me: "Uh... blue, jeans?"
Them: "*annoying pissy "I hate that I have to be nice to you cuz you're the customer" smile* Ah... Maam, what KIND of blue jeans? We have tall nonfat flare, or cropped frappe'pedal pushers' we have grande bootcut with whipped cream, then there's button'espresso fly in natural regular...etc"
Me: "*headache starting to brew hardcore* Uh... Ok, just a 'REGULAR' pair of BLUE JEANS in my SIZE will do... zipper waist if that's not too much to ask... Oh, and hold the whipped cream, I'll get that later at Pretzel Time..."
Them: *evil look in their eyes* Maam, Really, they all have zippers...
Me: "It's Amy actually, NOT Maam, and I'm sorry, what did you say your name was? Satan?? Look, I'm old enough to have CHANGED YOUR DIAPERS *underbreath* you little snot..., And ACTUALLY you JUST DID SAY that you had BUTTON'ESPRESSO FLY in NATURAL REGULAR, and since I want ZIPPER then CLEARLY I should SPECIFY CORRECT?
Them: "Well MAAM, *evil shit eatin'grin through gritted teeth* Yes I MAY have mentioned that...
Me: "Look, I'll just find my own pair ok? Thanks for your help *not*..."
Them: *yelling down the back of the store to a fellow 'snotnose employee'* "OMG I'M GOING ON BREAK, ANYONE WANT ANYTHING AT STARBUCKS???"

And so you can see why EVEN THOUGH IT PAINS ME TO SEE JEANS ASSUMING THEIR PLACE IN THE 'ANNOYANCE WHEEL OF SHIT' they are a necessity and so, I ignore all who work in the store & HELP MYSELF to a fantastic pair of jeans that were EASY TO FIND once I didn't have ms.snotnose trying to crawl up my ass & set up camp for a SALE! (hate those people!)

In all fairness, I have to say that for years now I've shopped at Lane Bryant (that's clothing for us 'big & beautiful' gals) and I really do LOVE THEIR JEANS! They last forever & get more comfortable with every wash! So what if trying to locate the pair I want makes my eyes cross & my head spin? I just need to know my size (24 petite) and the style I like (REGULAR BLUE W/ZIPPER *ugh*) and I'm all set.

And yes, even for us bigger girls there is such a thing as 'petite' although I have to admit I laugh OUT LOUD in the store every time I see ANYTHING with 'petite' on it, cuz... let's face it ladies, Lane Bryant isn't a SKINNY CHICK STORE! It's for the sexy, selfconfidant REAL WOMAN WITH CURVES! (aka:fatty mc'fat) but you know what, after losing over 80lbs, I could care less what it's called, cuz I was wearing a size that was SO BIG that Lane Bryant DIDN'T EVEN CARRY IT!... that's right, there was a time when all I could fit into was sweat pants & yoga stuff... fun fun fun... NOT!

So to now be able to go in & pick out a size that ISN'T their biggest size & try it on & have it fit me so nice & comfy and smile knowing that, no only does it fit but it LOOKS DAMN GOOD ON ME, well.. that's pretty fanfriggentastic* in my book! (*and yes, that's a word... I think I'm going to start my own Amyla' Dictionary... and my friend Jen can back me up on this & probably contribute many words herself as we each have our own special language. LOL )

Anyhoo... so Ruby had a blast at the mall, after I bought my new jeans, we went down to the lower level to the 'kids play area' and Ruby had herself a BLAST!!! Running around & laughing & being so silly that every parent in there was smiling & telling both myself and my mother how 'beautiful & funny & adorable' she was... I smile outside, & inside my heart is borderline bursting... A. because they're right, and B. because I feel like THE luckiest Momma in the world!

How was everyone else's day today? C'MON LURKERS... SPILL THE DETAILS, I'd love to know, AND ANYONE WITH A NEW 'AMYLA WORD' for my dictionary, feel free to share! =)