*DROOL*

Good LORD, Send this boy to me tonight in my dreams...
PLEASE!
EVERY TIME he opens his mouth to sing,
I literally get CHILLS ALL UP & DOWN MY ARMS, NECK & BACK!!!
(is his wife one lucky woman or WHAT?!?!?!!?!)
Sing it Chris! WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO

C.I.F.A.?

'Christ, it's Friday AGAIN?'

*sigh*

Not to take anything away from those of you who LIVE for Fridays, but for those of us desperately searching for a job, the arrival of Friday is just a painful reminder that yet another week is gone without any luck whatsoever.

The worst part of this is that I found what could quite possibly be THE MOST PERFECT FAMILY EVER to Nanny for...

-BUT-

(you KNEW there was a BUT in there, don't act all surprised!)


They live quite a distance away & are looking for someone to drive to them.
Honestly those are the only two crappy points I see about them, PERIOD!

The wife (who I spoke to on the phone for well over an hour & a half practically) was SO friendly & her daughter, who is now 2, was adopted from China as well & is just as sweet as a peach she's so adorable!
Her & I are both huge believers as far as 'same page' parenting is concerned and we just got along like we had been old friends.

BUMMER!
I so sometimes hate this stupid MS... if I didn't have to give myself shots & I didn't have to live knowing that any given morning WITHOUT WARNING I could be draggin' ass & never get my shit together in time to leave this house on time to make it to someone's house.

Now, watching a child here, piece of cake cuz kids don't care if you're in your jammies still or not when they arrive, they just want to know that they'll get love & hugs & care & giggles through out the day, and that I can provide 110%!

We did decide though that we MUST get our kids together for a play date, so at the very least Ruby and I both found ourselves two wonderful new friends.

Now, what to make for dinner? hmmmmmmmm

Einstein would agree...

Ok, so let's set the scene... this morning as every morning, my Mother comes upstairs to have breakfast with Ruby. (& me too I guess since I happen to be here so I'm included by default...) LOL

So, we have our breakfast which is almost always the same thing:
tea & toast
(mine with jam & Ruby's with creamcheese & olive/yes she EATS THAT & LOVES IT!)
(Ruby also has yogurt & milk & cut up fruit sometimes too... depends on her mood.)

So after breakfast, my Mother usually plays with her a little bit while I clean up the breakfast table & then check my email etc...

Ruby disappears into her bedroom & is awfully quiet, usually quiet = suspicious activity of some sort!

My Mother had to boogie to the store to get some turkey gravy and I wanted to go see what was up with miss 'Cheeks'...

On my way into her room, she emerges holding a new diaper & looks up at me smiling & says "GO!"
(her newest word)

I laughed and picked her up & kissed her & said " Where do you want me to go you silly girl?"
and it was just then that I smelled something...
(remember that 'suspicious activity?)
Well, it happened right in her diaper!
Silly girl was in there all quiet to have her morning poop & then came right out to TELL ME that she absolutely needed a diaper change!
My daughter is a GENIUS!
*grin*

(now if we could just conquer E=mc2...)


LOL
And sorry no pics of the actual event as I'm pretty sure most of you don't allow the paparatzi in your bathroom while you're doing your 'business'... Ruby isn't all that much a fan of it either, so you'll just have to use your imagination on this one, but TRUST ME- IT WAS FUNNY!

Bear's Hero...

In what can only be described as a brave yet ballsy move, Bear's friend Pupper jumped in with only moments to spare, to save his friend from suffocating by using the 'paws of life'...

Bear is now breathing easy & Pupper has earned himself the
medal of honor
from all of us here at: R.I.H.O.T.
Congratulations Pupper! NICE WORK!!

(now, can we all just get some sleep?)

THIS JUST IN:

BEAR MOMENTS AWAY FROM BEING RUSHED TO LOCAL E.R.
FROM WHAT APPEARS TO BE POSSIBLE COMPLICATIONS OF
BREATHING CAUSED BY TOO MUCH LOVE
& NOT ENOUGH AIR THROUGH THE NOSE.

(More information to follow as it becomes available)

Shots X's 2

Ruby knowing that we're at the doctor's office & doing her best to pretend that I'm not even there & calling her so we can go into exam room #1...

A last ditch, but brilliant, effort to "hide" underneath a chair with book & her accomplice 'BEAR'...

Two shots & much crying later...
Ruby is now safe & sound and half asleep (note the slightly open eyes...)
in the comfort of her own home, in her own living room, in her own pack-N-play.

It was a long morning but my Girl & her Bear were TROOPERS!

I love them both SO MUCH... <3

Seriously??

Ok, so AGAIN last night another odd dream... I don't know if it's the Tea I'm drinking or what... but every night now for three nights in a row, really wonderful but strange dreams! 1st there was my dream about This Guy... who knew a 'kiss' dream could be SO REAL! *grin* (Thanks Taylor!) hehehe, next came my dream about a certain Doctor House, (yes I have a BIG ASS CRUSH ON HUGH LAURIE** AND YES I KNOW HOW OLD HE IS, HE'S STILL SEXY DAMNIT!)

**“Hugh Laurie…
the British actor is the thinking woman’s sex symbol.”
- Entertainment Weekly

Then finally, last night I had one about an ex boyfriend who I haven't seen or spoken to in long time! It's odd... maybe water before bed is best... ?

I have a DREAM BOOK that I could & probably should be looking this stuff up in, but right now my mind is still reeling...

I don't mind having vivid dreams to the point where I feel like the person was/is still actually in my bedroom... *rustling in my closet...* (Taylor, is that you??) it's just that for guys who I don't know & clearly will never meet, it's ok, they're safe dreams... but to have one about a man I once loved very much and still miss to this day, that's just a hard pill to swallow.

Ok, time to go shower & get ready to take miss 'Cheeks' to the Dr.'s for a shot. Poor thing hasn't a clue what's on tap for this morning's festivities...

Ever get a song stuck in your head?

Menamenah

*evilgrin*
LIKE THIS ONE??
SORRY BUT I COULD NOT RESIST!
(thanks to Uncle Steve for sending this to us...)
HAHAHAHAHA

Man, does this mean that I'm gonna have weird trippy 'muppet' dreams tonight?
Somewhere out there is a support group missing their leader... ME!

*sigh*

Ruby & Bear...

... say goodnight.

( & yes that's a new 'spring sweater' for our friend Bear.
Ruby picked it out herself, but I'm pretty sure that had we let HIM DECIDE, he'd have picked something 'sans girlie flowers'... but hey, that's LOVE people!
It's like the ugly christmas sweater you KNOW you've all gotten, that you felt COMPELLED to wear because you love the person who gave it to you,
not necessarily because you're diggin the sweater!)
HAHAHAHA
I'm reminded of 'A Christmas Story'...
(hands down one of THE FUNNIEST MOVIES OF ALL TIME!)
and the infamous PINK BUNNY PJ'S... LOL
Poor kid should've aimed that red rider bb gun at his aunt & shot HER EYE OUT for even SENDING THAT PINK MESS HIS WAY!!!

Giggles & wooden fruit...

BIG LOYALTY, small package.

How can I NOT feel complete inner peace when I look at my beautiful daughter all snug in her bed with Bear, sleeping soundly.
She is the poster child for a 'peaceful night's sleep'...

Bear, on the other hand, sleeps with his eyes open 24/7, because he's keeping a constant watch over his best friend Ruby, making sure that her rest is uninterrupted.
(trust me, I'm pretty sure he was staring me down as I volleyed for position prior to snapping these photos!)

Bear is, well, he's a lot of things:

Cute? Yes.
Fuzzy? Yes.
Soft? Yes.
Fierce when it comes to protecting his Ruby? ABSOLUTELY!

It's nice to know that she's in such good paws.
G'night Bear, keep my Ruby safe.

NOW I can sleep.
Sweet dreams everyone.

Zzzzzzz...

Sleep VS. the power of the mind...

There's nothing like knowing you should be in bed when the reality is
the power of your thoughts has truly taken over & you're no longer in control of your actions.

I know I want to go to bed... I've already told my legs to get up & walk my ass over to the bed & crawl in, but they're not really hearing me I'm guessing...
...tonight, they have a mind of their own, as do my fingers flying over the keys while I type this with the speed of light.
It's insane how MS can take some things away from you yet others aren't effected in the least, ie: my typing.

After my initial diagnosis, my handwriting went completely in the shitter. It used to be pretty & swirly & fun... now it's just no more than 'chicken scratch' that I truly dislike.
I thank God every day that I am so efficient at typing & that my fingers NEVER let me down.
Sure, I may spell a word wrong here or there but hell, at least I can still get my thoughts down somewhere without having it be this big outrageous effort on my part to make it legible to others, much less myself.
It's really the real reason I started this blog in the first place... you see, I initially started keeping a journal for Ruby... but once I saw that what started out as really pretty entries in an even prettier book slowly turned into the type of ancient hieroglyphics that need professional deciphering, I gave up & turned to my friend, the computer. The keyboard is my partner in crime, the words are my thoughts turned solid for all to read.
(I don't mind sharing... I have nothing to hide.)
Here, in blogland... I just pick my font, hopefully remember to do a spellcheck & voila, a new entry into the story of my life... my life with Ruby... my life with MS...
My. Life. Period.

I am still holding out hope that I'll find the perfect job soon...
...I know that it's easy to say that everything happens for a 'reason' and that 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle' yadda yadda yadda...
but let's get real folks, of all the cheezy catch phrases in the world, one of my favorites is the one that speaks the most truth...

SHIT HAPPENS!
It knows no color, no race, no age, no social status...
... it just KNOWS it's bound to happen eventually, to me and you.

And the real question isn't "what am I going to do", but more " what am I NOT going to do?"

I'll tell you what I'm NOT going to do, I'm not going to give up hope that I'll eventually find something.
Sure it may take a crap ass long time to find just the right family & make just the right match for all involved... but if there's one thing I've learned in all the years I've been working professionally as a Nanny, it's this... that connection is so magical that it's worth waiting for cuz when you finally find it, it's a job that you wake up EVERY DAY & are glad that you have... feel blessed to call it yours.

That's the job I want, that's the family I long to work for...
...and I know I'll find it.

Just like the time between DTC/LID to Referral... the key here, is PATIENCE.

I think I can do this... I really do.

Idol DREAMS...

Ok, I have problems... I could LITERALLY listen to THIS boy SING all day & all night!
Sing it GREY CHARLES!! *grin* hehehe
The hell with 'Georgia' on my mind, I got TAYLOR ON THE BRAIN!
Is it wrong that I had a dream about this man last night that was so real when I woke up I was CONVINCED he was hiding under my bed???
THANK YOU GOD! AMEN!
*hehehe*

SING IT TAYLOR!!!!!!!!
YOU'VE GOT A FAN HERE IN BOSTON!!!!!!

Reality Check...

... ok here's proof positive that my daughter, however ADORABLE she is, is not ALWAYS the sweet cute girl you see in pictures.

Here is what happened just moments ago when I politely asked my daughter to give her cousin Isabella a little smoochie:

Me: Hey Ruby, can you give your cousin Isabella a smoochie wooch?
Ruby: (see above)


As you can see, my poor little Niecie Doo was like " Wow, what's HER problem??"


Lucky for Ruby, Isabella's a good sport & was still smiling despite the whole ugly scene. LOL

Ah, the joys of parenting. LOL

Ruby's Word Cloud...

So, taking a page from our dear friend's Karen & Gwen,
Ruby is pleased to share with everyone, her her very own Word Cloud...

I have GOT TO...

... get myself OUT of this FUNK I'm in!!!

This morning as I sat at the computer to check my email for any job replies,
(there were none...)
I looked up & noticed the date... March 21st... March 21st?
How can that be?
I missed the 20th?!?!?
But wait, I couldn't have missed the 20th!
That's the anniversary of the day Ruby and I first held each other,
kissed each other,
became mother & daughter,
cried together,
dried each other's tears,
forever became a perfect size family of TWO!

Wow, I'm a horrible mother to have forgotten such an important day...

...yesterday was four months, FOUR MONTHS!

Sometimes it's hard to believe that it's been that long & then other times it seems like that's not NEARLY long enough because clearly Ruby & I have been together FOREVER!

Over the past days when I took a much needed break from blogging, I spent alot of time just being Ruby's Mom.... and what I realized is that, no matter where anyone is in their life, if you're a Mom, hell, if you're a PARENT, you're going to worry.

Even when things are all going great & money isn't an issue,
you'll still worry.
Successful businessmen worry...
hardworking single mothers worry...
unemployed people worry...
friends of those parents worry...
family members of those parents worry...


...and friends that you've never met but who follow your blog religiously worry.

I want to thank everyone who took the time to leave me a heartfelt comment and also those who took the time to email me privately with some of the most amazing letters I think I've ever had the pleasure of reading, most of which brought tears to my eyes.
I will never delete those letters & cherrish their words forever.
It's nice to know that even in strangers, friendship can be found.

I had a woman & her daughter who had stumbled upon my blog & read it daily come down from CANADA! We visited & I took her & her adorable daughter into Salem & we went & saw the Yin Yu Tang: A Chinese House and it was nice to be a 'tourist' in my own neighborhood.
Truth be told I had never seen the inside of that museum, once. (truly a shame)
But it was a nice distraction from sitting at home & just worrying about where the money is going to come from, ya know?

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'll be ok.
I don't know how.
I don't know when.
I don't know why.
I just know I will.

Thank you to everyone who waited patiently for my return to blogging, I think that most of you were right, that leaving blogging is kinda silly since it's pretty theraputic to be able to put my thoughts down to 'blog' and mull them over.

I have a wonderful following of friends out here in Blogland, and I love & thank you all for your patience, understanding and kind words.

I had friends who I know & love dearly send a surprise package to this house in Ruby's name
to cheer us up, and it helped, it really did.
(Thank you Thia! Ruby loves you SO MUCH!)

And cuz I KNOW you're all dying for at least a pic or two... here are some from my day in Salem with Shauna & macLean...

Momma & Ruby at the Salem Beer Works for lunch...



Ruby enjoying her hotdog & fries for lunch...
(do you KNOW how MESSY it is to take the skin OFF a hotdog ??)
YUCK! hehehe


macLean & her Mom Shauna enjoying their afternoon in Salem...


Entrance to: Yin Yu Tang / The China House...


Little Miss Ruby Cate fitting RIGHT IN with the museum's DECOR... hehehe
(and for those of you who either have forgotten or didn't know this, the lions are at the entrance to most places 'CHINA' and the MALE is the one on the left, he is ALWAYS on the left but it's not how you'll remember it's the male, clearly it's cuz he's the one playing with his 'BALL'! LOL how fitting... sorry Johnny!
And the female, always on the right, is the one with the baby under her paw...
The females always caring for the little ones,
the male always playing with his ball.
HAHAHAHAHA

Sorry, I just get SUCH A KICK OUT OF THAT! MAKES ME LAUGH EVERY TIME!

Anyway... so, in a nutshell:

I'M BACK!

I've missed you all just as much if not more than you've missed me blogging,
I can promise you that... SO,

Let the blogging' BEGIN!

M.I.A.

Ruby & I will be M.I.A. (missing in action)
for a little while... as I'm not really in a 'blogging' kinda place to be honest.
Stress & MS don't mix all that well and every time I log in the first thing I see is my daughter's precious face & then I'm reminded that soon I am going to be seriously struggling to provide the basic necessities for her.
My little girl hasn't a clue what I'm facing, nor should she.
Kids should be carefree & silly & happy without a worry in the world.
... it's what us Mom's are for,
to do the worrying all the while trying to put on a happy face.

I just hope that in the process I don't have a mental break down or another MS attack from the stress... Sorry to those of you who read me on a daily basis but this 'funny girl/mom' is scared to death & just needs some time to pray, regroup, hope for a miracle... pick one.

One last glimpse of my reason for living...


...until we return, everyone please take care.

-Amy & Ruby Cate

Anyone in the mood for a PARTY?

...ok, as most of you may know, I've been a professional Nanny for many years, 15+ to be exact. In all those years I never once had to collect unemployment, which came in handy when it was time for me to stay home with Ruby... granted it's not nearly as much as I was making when I was working but it was enough to get by and enjoy every day with my child.

Sadly, my unemployment days are coming to a close with my last week to collect being the first week of April.
Normally, I wouldn't worry because I always tend to find more work but it's different now. I have a child to consider... I want to care for someone's child in the comfort & safety of my own home rather than commute to them as in all the previous years. Seems easy enough but there are alot of families who aren't 'keen' on this idea, don't ask but it's just the way it is.

... with my money slowly dissappearing & a child looking to me to provide, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified, because I am.
I look daily in the classified's, check through my network of friends & the 'word of mouth' system, look constantly on craigslist etc... but nothing.
It's weird, I was just talking tonight to a friend of mine who is also a Nanny & she said she wished she could help me out but it seems like whenever there are families in need of a Nanny, we all have work... and on the flip side, when there's a bunch of us Nannies in need of employment, no families can be found.
Let's add to this the fact that I'm a single mother with no husband to help out & make the stress just a little less.... and let's toss in some MS for good measure keeping in mind all the while that since going on unemployment I've gone 'sans' health ins... oh yes, this is my PITY (holy shit I'm terrified, what am I gonna do)PARTY.. and you're all invited so please, won't you pull up a chair & I'll pour you a steaming cup of tea? (It's about all I can offer at this point so hopefully that'll do...)

Any suggestions on what to do to try to make it through April
without suffering from a nervous breakdown in front of my daughter?
Or how to start earning money quick? Or maybe anyone have a rich uncle?
It sucks but this is honestly the first time in a LONG time that I'm officially terrified...
...keep both Ruby & Me in your prayers please, I know we'll need all we can get!

18 months & counting...

Miss Ruby had her 18 month checkup today... she did great!

Here are her stats:

Height: 32.25 in.
Weight: 23 lbs.

She's in the 50th percentile for both height & weight and our doctor says she's doing excellent.
She was beyond impressed with how Ruby understands not only English but Italian as well.
I asked her (in both languages) to show the doctor where her nose was & where her leg was etc... and asked in random order & mixed up the languages to try to catch her off guard... but not so much with my little snickerdoodle!
Regardless of what language I spoke to her in, the kid was ON THE MONEY with her responses every time! She also knows a few signs & was able to tell the doctor that yes, she'd like 'more tea' LOL hahaha too cute.

She did get a shot today poor thing, I was not one of her favorite people after having to hold her snug long enough for the nurse to get at her arm. Let's just say that if looks could kill, I'd have to have my friend Karen post this one for me as I'd be six feet under from the STARE my child gave me after the nurse left. LOL Thankfully it never lasts that long because once we get in the car & head to the store to get a few things for dinner, I picked up some 'pirates booty' and MAN DID SHE LOVE THAT STUFF! Smiles all around & some well deserved booty for a successful doctor's visit. Next visit June 13th... we'll see what the next few months hold for my little girl & what new milestones she'll conquer next! *grin*

Crib Bumpers??

Sure they're cute & snazz up the crib, but MAKE NO MISTAKE,
they're A HUGE PAIN IN THE ASS to put on and off when you have to wash them!!!
So, why am I bitching? I'm not, I'm here to sing their praises, because regardless of how much I HATE having to take them down to wash them & then put them ALL BACK ON with those TEENIE TINY LITTLE (never long enough) ties & TIE EACH SET ON INDIVIDUALLY, I do it every time.

WHY?

... because without them, I wouldn't be able to snap shots like this one.

My girl looks SO COMFORTABLE & completely lost in her dreams next to her best pal Bear.


I mean, look at that rested little face... not a care in the world & toasty as can be... all because she's got her own personal little 'crib ottoman' if you will.

Put your feet up Baby, sleep any way you want to, just be cozy & happy...
...Momma will continue to fuss with that obnoxious thing each & every time... why?

...because I love you.