Monday, August 07, 2006

Ruby & Momma Smooches...


... are THE BEST KIND!

Sharing with Bear...


... doesn't everyone eat popcorn with their noses?
*giggle*

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Birthday Girl!


Happy Birthday Jennifer!
AUNTIE LOVES YOU!
XoXoXoXo

A little girl...


... with very high hopes.

(psst, check out Ruby's Nonno in the backround, babysitting Bear! hee hee)

Over the moon in love...


... with my daughter & her bear.

(Thank you Karen for taking this amazing picture of us, I absolutely LOVE it!)

Ruby & Gwen...


...friends forever.

Saturday, August 05, 2006

A letter to a soon-to-be single mother...

Dear Krista,

You are MORE THAN WELCOME! Trust me when I say that we may not be walking in identical shoes, but they sure as hell pinch in the same places don't they? LOL We're a rare breed, the 'single mother by choice'. It's scarey, amazing, wonderful, unreal, mind blowing etc... the list goes on and on. But the two biggest things it is is BRAVE and IMPORTANT! We're single soldiers doing our 'hearts work'.

People ask me why I chose to adopt, and honestly, adoption chose me. Originally I was going to adopt an older child through the state of Massachusetts via MARE. (Mass Adoption Resource Exchange) I had found a little girl, Maria, she was 12. She loved to color, sing, play games, play sports outside with her friends, she liked school etc... she was a mixed race beautiful little girl & I was going to give her a chance at a better future & she was going to give me the gift of becoming a mother. Only, when I made that decision, it was Sunday & Mare was closed. So, I went to bed & figured "I'll call first thing in the morning."

That night, I had a dream of me walking through the mall holding onto this chubby little hand & when I looked down to see who'se hand it was I was holding, it was Ruby's. Chubby cheeks & all was smiling up at me & she said "Momma".
I woke up that next morning & KNEW my daughter was in CHINA. I called 'MARE' and asked about Maria, and they said " Maria was adopted a week ago, I'm so very sorry..." but I was happy to hear that she had found a forever family & I knew that things clearly are happening for a reason.

So call it fate, call it divine intervention but whatever you call it, I knew in my heart that my daughter was waiting for me in China. Not only waiting for me, but literally CAME & CALLED TO ME in my dream & got my attention. I heard you loud & clear Ruby girl, Momma's coming.

And the rest is history. I officially started the process in april of 04'. Paperchased until Dec 04' & my agency had my dossier put together & sent Jan 14th, 2005. I received my LID Jan 31st 2005. Then, I waited... and waited... and waited... and when I THOUGHT I'd receive my referral (july/august), I missed the cut off by ONE DAY! A HUGE BLOW! But I'm here aren't I? So I survived...

Trust me when I say, things really DO happen the way they do for reasons that we just can't understand & may never know. All I know is that when Sept 7th rolled around & my phone rang & it was Eric from my agency, I nearly fell off the couch when he wished me a 'happy birthday'. I laughed ("Eric's cute but he must not be that bright" I thought...) "Uh, Eric, it's not my birthday, my birthday's in August... " to which he said " IT'T NOT? Oh yeah, that's right, it's RUBY'S BIRTHDAY!" *THUD* my ass was on the floor in SECONDS FLAT! It was the best day of my life... one that I knew I was blessed to be experiencing.

It's a long journey not for the faint of heart but again, remember we're single soldiers... we can absolutely do it! But it helps to have a network of other single parents to lean on... so with that said, Krista... if you ever EVER need anyone to vent to, questions you want to ask, or just a shoulder to cry on, you use this: ***-***-****, anytime.

And remember, soul mates come in all forms, and I'm here to tell you that Mia, your soul mate, will take your BREATH AWAY, just like my little precious Ruby Cate did nearly one year ago.

Take care hon! *hugs*


-Amy & Ruby Cate
Mother & Daughter- Nov 20th, 2005,
Officially a forever family- Nov 21st, 2005.
Beyond blessed to have found one another- Every Day.

Friday, August 04, 2006

What a difference a year makes...


(This was the very first time Ruby ever set foot in her new bedroom...
is it me or is she just the teeniest little punkin' ever?)

Seems wild to even try to think that one year ago today was my very first entry into this world we all call blogland.
Funny kinda, back then I could never even comprehend that a year would pass, nevermind the things that would happen to me during that time.
Crazy.

It's wild to think that today is the first of many 'year anniversaries' that I'll celebrate. First this, the blog... next, the day that changed my life forever, my referral.
Not only was it the best day ever for me, but it was one year to the day that Ruby was born into this world. It's neat to think that things happen in 'year incraments' for us.
And not only will Sept 7th this year be my referral's anniversary,
BUT it'll be little Miss Ruby's 2ND BIRTHDAY!

I just don't have any words for that.
Soon, it'll be the year anniversary of Got'cha Day and then Adoption Day and theLong Trip Home etc... it's just mindboggling.

But you know what? I wouldn't change a thing.
Life is good!
*smile*

Thursday, August 03, 2006

Sometimes...


... after swimming in the pool with Momma,

I get a wee bit sleepy from all that sun,

& I need a little nap.
Wake me in an hour Momma... g'night!

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

CALLING ALL FLAT BEAR LOVERS!

Little mister Flat Bear is still hanging out in Virginia but would very much like a new destination on his agenda... SO, I'm asking all the readers, (THAT MEANS YOU TOO LURKERS!) who of you would like to host Mister Flat Bear at your place for a short visit? As before, the first person to comment on this post will be the winner & then I'll get your address & 411 from you so that Flat Bear can be on his way!

WOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO

Tuesday, August 01, 2006

A new calendar month...

... is such a BEAUTIFUL CLEAN PAGE IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!
If you guys could only see the crap written on my calendar for the month of July you'd be dizzy from trying to read it all- let's just say I'm glad to now have a NEW page up with NOTHING written on it except family things to do to genuinely look forward to... things like:

LOBSTER FEST 06'


*DROOL*

I absolutely ADORE LOBSTER and once a year, every summer usually falling in August, my family has our annual Lobster Fest & invites our friends from NH down to enjoy it with us!
As if that wasn't fabulous enough, this year it happens to fall on my birthday and I just can't think of a better way to spend that day than eating lots of LOBSTER, lots of fresh native CORN ON THE COB, and FRESH BREWED SWEET TEA!

Maybe getting another year older doesn't have to be so bad if you've got good food, good friends & all your family around to enjoy it with you.
Oh, and lots of melted butter don't hurt neither!
*grin*
(yes I know that wasn't proper english... DEAL WITH IT!)
hee hee


Monday, July 31, 2006

That inner voice...

... you know it's funny, call it women's intuition, call it a hunch- regardless what you call it, it's right every time. That inner voice that screams to you when you try to ignore it...

I learned long ago that when it came to new guys in my life, that I'd need to do my best to find out what I could asap so as to avoid any messiness down the line.
If I catch someone lying, in any way, shape or form, it's done.

Let's just say that it's funny when faced with a 'girl' online, who appears to be someone new, you find out lots of things... things that that inner voice was screaming at you about that you chose to ignore because it was just nice to be held & kissed again.

Never ignore that inner voice.
Someone I trust very much once told me that you have to listen to that inner voice,
even if what it's telling you is hard to hear.
It's true...

I don't for one second regret yesterday, it was much needed, it lifted my spirits and I slept the best I've slept in weeks.
I also don't regret going online today incognito to find validation for what my inner voice was screaming about yesterday.

Chalk it up to a nice few hours of kissing & that's that.

I think I'm going to be single for the rest of my life by choice.
Less headaches that way.

Sunday, July 30, 2006

Cloud 9...


... party of 2!

Date Sunday Update:

Nick was a no show, so be it.
Phil (who was going to be date #2 for next weekend) called & asked if I was getting ready for my date with Nick & I said " I'm ready, but haven't heard from him, I'm pretty sure he's gonna be a no show..."
to which he replied: "Hiss loss, my gain, I'm coming over... that ok with you?"
"Hell yeah that's ok with me!"

Long & short of it, Phil & I had a FANTASTIC day! He met my daughter, my parents,
my uncle & aunt & fit RIGHT IN!
Everyone loved him & he loved everyone... including me. *evilgrin*
And the boy smelled DELICIOUS!
Let's just say that it wasn't the date I had originally anticipated, but it was by FAR a FANTASTIC SURPRISE!

*the fact that he's a phenominal kisser doesn't hurt either*
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Upon leaving he pulled me close, kissed me & said,
" I dont know who it was who didn't show up today, but the guys a fool,
and now I'll be coming back tomorrow, not him."

Life is GOOD.

*smile*





PS: God bless victoria's secret on their
'delicious smelling' cologne for men- OMG!

'Very Sexy' for him.
YES IT WAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, July 28, 2006

Can YOU...

...guess WHO?



This beautiful scarf is going to be a gift for a fellow blogger.
Any guesses who it might be?
*grin*

C'mon, go ahead, I know you wanna guess...
Plus, I'll be curious to see who you all think it is.

hee hee

I won't say who, but I will tell you that it's not my buddy Karen, because her scarf
is going to be this delicious RASPBERRY color that I have yet to start.
(but no worries Karen, it'll be ready in time for your winter.)

Nope, this one is a surprise for someone who is also pretty good at surprises herself.
Now I don't know if these colors are her favorite, but I just fell in love with the two together.
Actually the red is called 'Candy Apple Red' and I bought a ton of it to make a blanket for miss Ruby, but had some leftover and thought it would go beautifully with the 'Golden' color.
Thus, a scarf is born...


(PS: for all you fellow knitters, here's the 411 on my scarves:
I use Takumi bamboo size 11 needles
and I always use Lion Brand Homespun yarn and cast on 18 stitches & knit until the entire skein of yarn is gone. Nothing fancy either, just good ole' knit stitch for this Momma.

It makes for a long, toasty, soft scarf that's fabulous during those cold winters we get here in new england! Don't get me wrong, hot cocoa works too
but a hand made scarf is a 'MUST HAVE' !)

Almost done... *UPDATE*


This is the christmas stocking I've been working on for my niece Isabella.
It's not quite done yet but very close, just a little more outlining to do then it gets sent off to CA to the woman who does my finishing work.
It was a labor of love but it's fun to do!
If you're the type to enjoy crafts and enjoy counted cross stitch, I highly recommend taking a needlepoint class, as it's easy to learn & lots of fun!
(Plus, alot more forgiving if you make a mistake than in counted cross stitch.)

Once it's finished & sent to CA, I can expect to receive a completely finished stocking just prior to Thanksgiving... neat huh?

Niecie doo, AUNTIE LOVES YOU!
*hugs* to my Isabella...


*UPDATE*



Ok so here's the stocking once all my work is finished!
The outlining makes everything pop to the eye & now I can finally head over to B.F.Goodstitch to pick out the colors for the velvet backing & the satin lining & then it's OFF TO CA IT GOES!
*smile*
Now I can get back to my knitting... working on a special scarf for a friend.
I know I know... I'm an old lady trapped in the body of a 33 year old, what's up with THAT?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

Socks


Socks... such a simple word, right? Five little letters smooshed together to describe those soft toasty guys we pull up over our feet before putting on shoes, yes?
Well, tonight as I was getting miss Ruby ready for bed after her bath, I had put on her lotion, put on her diaper, her onesie, and then I said "Do you want shoes tonight baby?" (shoes meaning ROBEEZ)
she thought for a moment, then looked up at me & said, clear as a bell "Socks Momma" and I was a little shocked because although she's heard me say that word a thousand times, she had never ONCE said it out loud... until tonight.
*grin*
I smiled at her & said
"YES HONEY!! SOCKS!! GOOD GIRL!!"
she smiled this big proud smile & said
"Socks, shoooooes!"
by this point I'm so proud that I'm tearing up and laughing to boot...
"YES BABY, SOCKS AND SHOES! GOOD GIRL! YOU'RE SO SMART!"

You know, when I named this blog I did so because it's so very true to who I knew Ruby would be... a little girl who not only does but SAYS things, in her 'OWN TIME'-
-Socks are no exception.

If laughter is the best medicine...


... then SMILES are CONTAGIOUS!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

It's official...


... my first 'official' date is this sunday.
It's nothing fancy, per request of me because honestly, fancy isn't what makes a mark in my book, it's quality, not quantity.
We're going to a quiet little place locally to eat & then maybe back here for some swimming depending on weather.
It should be fun, at least I hope it'll be fun, who knows.
I've been wrong before about things, this could clearly be no exception to my string of shitty luck as of late... never know.

What I do know is that I'm gonna just be myself, as I am always.
I probably won't even put makeup on since I have a pretty nice tan going already & don't need much makeup, really. Maybe just make sure my hair is down & pretty rather than bunched up in it's traditional 'mess-0'lastic' as per usual.
Pretty hair can't hurt, right?

It's just weird... this dating stuff.
I had set myself to think that I'd never have to do the 'first date' shit ever again.
No worries about a first anything for that matter, first date, first hand holding, first hug, first kiss, etc...

I really thought they were all behind me but how little I knew & how wrong I was.
Just breaks my heart.

I will live, I can do this dating thing again even if it's not something I remotely thought of doing.
Everything is strange at first, right?
I mean nobody goes into something like this gung-ho correct?

Sunday's date is Nick, and NO Karen his last name isn't Lachey *weasel*
hehehe
But you know, if you plan your visit accordingly, and you BEHAVE yourself,
maybe we COULD try to go HERE while you're up visiting. *grin* hehehe LOL

As for my Nick, he is easy on the eyes & has been my friend now for well over a year, so I know I can count on him to STILL BE MY FRIEND regardless where this date leads us.
It's just funny how things happen, things that completely alter your life in ways you never saw coming & were powerless to stop them.

Sometimes people say things they don't mean, and then they mean things that they absolutely say...
it's hard to know the difference, but easy to feel it in your heart.
Hurt is hurt no matter how you slice it.

Sunday, although weird, will hopefully be good.

And yes Karen, I'll send you a pic.
*smile*




Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Moving on...

Yes, that's right, I'm moving on as far as dating goes. It's healthy right? I mean, when one love has ended it's normal & expected that one should move on with their lives. I mean, after all... I can't sit at home every night & cry over this can I?
Well, I mean I did for nearly two weeks and crying is really, well...
...overrated.
(plus my eyes were always puffy & sore.)


It's funny... of all the really shitty things I've been through in my life, heartache seems to always be the worst of them. Never impossible to get over but hard nonetheless.

I've decided that of the 3 guys who asked me out
(yes, I know it's insane & it never ever happens to someone like me...)
that the first guy will most likely end up just being a friend as we've been friends for a while now & seem to be comfortable there, which is totally ok in my book.
Especially since good, sincere, respectful, honest & genuine friends are hard to come by.

The second one will probably never happen as he lives so far away & works a graveyard shift so his time is therefore very limited... and truth be told, as a single mother with a toddler, my time is limited too, so there's that.
(plus he's a vegetarian...
I just never understood those people, no offense to any of you who are.)

And the third one is from right here on the north shore.
He's nice from what I can tell so far- after only one phone conversation.
(but hey, I've been wrong on my judgement before)

Let's just say I'm guarded. He's italian like me, lives below his parents and I above, he's got one younger sibling as do I and he's easy to talk to and enjoys the little things in life... or so he says.

I'm just not ever going to jump in head first ever again, period.

So, he'll have to be patient with me, very patient.
I've told him that it's gonna be a slow journey, and he said
"it's one I'm happy & willing to be patient for,
if it means I get an opportunity to know you better."

Nuff said.
That's all I can ask right?

It's funny, if anyone had asked me a month ago where I thought I'd be tonight, it would not have been here, blogging about this.
But, it is, and I'll be just fine,
even if my heart feels it won't.





Sunday, July 23, 2006

Where in the world are...

... FLAT Bear and FLAT Ruby Cate??


The real Ruby Cate and Bear would like to know where their
'FLAT' counterparts are currently residing.

Could whoever has Flat Ruby Cate and Flat Bear please email us at: mom4ruby@yahoo.com
with their whereabouts & a few photos so that we may update their respective blogs?
Thanks a bunch!

-Ruby Cate & Bear
(& Momma too)