Before bed thoughts...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Life is a funny thing... things happen that you didn't expect nor ask for, yet they still happen & you find yourself coming face to face with challenges that you'd rather not have to deal with. But the reality is, sometimes you don't have a damn choice, so you deal. The question is, do you just do the least amount of 'dealing' to just get the shit over with & forgotten, OR... do you actually take the time to meet the challenge head on & deal with it in the appropriate way, regardless of it's difficulty level? See, I believe that it's these tough times, the ones we would rather run from but make ourselves stand up to, that make us who we our. It's our mistakes that we learn from that help build character... give us a sense of pride, of belonging. It's never easy to do what's right, we all know that the easy way out is always the 'wrong' way but it's what we usually think of first before we're faced with that inevitable 'line' where we either buck up & face the music OR bow out & run with our tail between our legs. I've always been one to face shit head on... maybe not right away, sometimes I'll admit that it takes a few test runs for me to get my engine revved up enough to do right by my convictions, but in the end I always do what's right, however hard it may be at the time.
My wish for Ruby is that she too will grow to have integrity, honor, pride, and a feeling of belonging to something more than just herself... something more than just her bedroom in this apartment in this house in Beverly. I hope she sees the world for the 'bigger picture' that it is & embraces all that it has to offer her. I hope she grows up to be a decent & kind human being who is selfless in her actions & kind in her words. If I do my job as her mother right, she'll be all those things & more, and I... I will be the most proud mother on the planet. I already am, because my little girl is a fighter. From being born to a biological mother who loved her enough to know that the better path for her to take would be one other than with her, to being found at 2 days old on the front entrance of a salvage center, to finding her way, over the next year of her life, into my heart & into my family. I am blessed, I am loved and so is my little girl. Every mistake I've ever made, ever bump in the road led me to where I currently stand. Past situations that broke my heart, they were just northern stars pointing to where I needed to be, and that's right here. Completely in love with a little girl I've never had the pleasure of holding or hugging or kissing, but that's all about to change soon. Ruby, if I promise you one thing in this life, it is that you will know you are loved. Always & forever, pure & honest, lasting & selfless, love that spans the globe even as I type this, my little girl, my beautiful birthday princess, Momma loves you and can't imagine my world without you in it. I am coming soon my love... very soon.

-Momma
xoxoxoxoxo

Shower Pictures...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Scroll down for pictures of my shower FINALLY! Rather than add them to a new post, I just edited my original "Baby Shower Sunday" post & put them there... enjoy! =)

-Me

Morning tea & sugar cookies...

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm Man do I love BLACK TEA!!!!!!!! Nothing better on a cool fall morning than a big steaming cup of my PG Tips tea & a big round sugar cookie from SCRATCH! Well, not from my kitchen mind you, from this fantastic place in Newbury called 'Tendercrop Farm'... OMG SO GOOD! I bought sugar cookies for myself, oatmeal raisin for my parents & chocolate chip for my brother & his very pregnant wife. Ebenezer is sitting at the foot of my bed, STARING at my cookie thinking " save me the last bite Momma... " I always do & he knows it! ;)
So, monday my sister inlaw & I went out shopping, had to return a few things to BabiesRus and get some things that I still needed for my upcoming trip. We also went to this little store in Danvers called 'The Learning Tree' and who should I run into but my 2nd grade teacher, MRS. BROWN! I nearly fell OVER! She remembered me immediately & asked about Adam as well, it was funny. She's a wonderful lady & was THRILLED to learn about Ruby ! I bought some books while there & also bought more books earlier in the day at Barnes & Noble MAN I LOVE BOOKS! Ruby's room is PACKED with books and I plan to read to her all the time! Hell, as it is I go in there at night & curl up on the floor with Ebenezer & read them to him. =) I don't know how much of it he understands but I DO know that he loves the time that we spend cuddling, regardless if I'm reading something out loud or not, he just knows that it's 'special' time just for him & his Momma. =)
Well, as far as my China goes, I'm still waiting on my TA to arrive, and it'll get here when it gets here. If there's one thing I've learned through this adoption process, it's that my Ruby does things 'IN HER OWN TIME' for sure, so it'll get here when it gets here & not a minute sooner. I can live with that. She waited until her birthday to show me her precious face & I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, I just am happy, bottom line.

I'm gonna go shower & head out to do a few errands but I'll blog more later I'm sure. Everyone have a great day!

-Me

Baby Shower Sunday...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Today was my Baby Shower 'Brunch' at the Beverly Depot. Great restaurant & lovely brunch. Tons, and I mean TONS of people showed up and a good time was had by all. I got lots of nice things to take with me to China for my sweet little Ruby Cate. I'm exhausted so you'll forgive me if I don't write more than that for now... Thanks to everyone who came today and thank you most of all to my parents who threw the shower, I love you both & so will Ruby with all her heart.
*hugs*

G'night.

-Amy

PS: Here are some pics from the shower... I finally was able to get them uploaded here so for those of you who didn't receive any via email, enjoy! =) Oh, and the children are all mostly kids I've nannied for in the past or nieces & nephews. And that gorgeous quilt was hand made by my very talented friend Emily with the quilt squares from my 'adoption group friends' when we did the 100 wishes quilt. I think it came out beautiful, just like I wanted it, random squares & it's PERFECT!!!!!!! THANKS EMILY!!!

Ruby's Finding Ad!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Today, my daughter's 'Finding Ad' arrived in the mail & MAN IS SHE ADORABLE AT 3 MONTHS OLD!!! hee hee It's the earliest known pic I have access to of my sweet little girl & I am happy to share it with everyone. For those of you interested in possibly obtaining your child's finding ad, please contact:

Research-China.Org

Brian is amazing & what he can do is just priceless! Without his help I would never have been given such a gift as a photo of my baby girl at only 3 mos old! ROCK ON BRIAN!!! =)

Blurred Vision & the Love of a Lion...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

So, technically I guess it's caused by my MS but sometimes I have these moments when my vision is completely blurred to the point where even having my glasses on doesn't seem to help much. ( Excellent news for local drivers in Beverly right? LOL ) It occured to me tonight that what we can't see with our eyes, we can always see with our hearts... now granted my heart wasn't given a licence to drive, my eyes had far more to do with that than my heart did but if we need a licence to drive a car & one to get married & one to operate heavy machinery... why is it that nobody needs a licence to care for someone else's heart? It's such a monumental responsibility & so many people just carelessly take it for granted... it's sad. Why is it that it's easier to get hurt by someone than it is to be loved by them? Life is funny that way... someday someone is going to prove me wrong & give me everything that I've ever wanted or needed in a lover/boyfriend/friend etc but until then it's me, myself & I against the world & tonight I'm just tired of being a one woman team. I have to say though that I am so blessed to have the friends in my life that I have... one tonight in particular who just made me feel like the only woman on earth & not only the only woman, but the most beautiful one, and that, without a doubt, is just amazing & I love him so much for what he just did for me. You know, for his age one would assume that he's just a kid & has alot of living to do, but to be honest, he's more mature & more wise than most of the men I know in their 30's. He's an old soul who is wise beyond his years & how blessed I am to have him in my life. He's strong & wise, just like a lion... and he's my lion, and oh how I'm the lucky one to have the love of a lion. *HUGS* I love you my sweet strong lion, never change.

-Amy

Late night conversations with a friend & 'True Love' ...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

... I love him, he knows I do, I just told him I loved him... not the 'in love with him' kind of love, not yet anyway... but the kind that makes you smile when you think of that person & just know deep down that you're blessed to have them in your life. That kind of love.
He is special to me in a way that nobody else ever has been. He fills arole for me that nobody else ever could even if they wanted to because you can't make that type of connection happen, it does because it's destined to. Just like I didn't ask to one day have MS... I just got it. Same thing, nobody asks for certain things in their life to happen, but when they do, embrace them for what they are & try your best to be a good & decent human being in the process. Because it's not what we are faced with in this life that matters, no... it's how we deal with those things that makes us who we are. My MS doesn't define me... on the contrary, it's who I've become since that diagnosis that speaks volumes & it's the reason why I know I'm going to be one hell of a mother to my beautiful little girl Ruby. Her life will be filled with many ups & downs, challenges that at the time may seem impossible to deal with, but as her mother, I'm here to not only tell her but SHOW HER that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE and just when you think you don't have anything left to give, that you can't POSSIBLY go another step, you find the strength in the deepest parts of your soul to put just one more foot in front of the other & soldier on. My girl is already a fighter, she's lived through more in her first little year of life than I have in 33. My girl is going to continue to be strong, to be brave, to know that no matter what life throws her way, she'll get through it, but once she's in my arms, I want her to know that from that day forward, she doesn't have to go through it alone... I will always be there right by her side. I love you my sweet little Pei Pei girl. Momma is counting the days till I receive TA & can get my toosh on a plane to come to China to wrap my arms around you, right where I belong!That is the most pure & wonderful form of 'TRUE LOVE' that I have ever experienced... I love my friends, I love my family, but the love I feel for Ruby is insurmountable, indescribable, incredible... and the purest of pure feelings that completely consumes me from head to toe. I am the luckiest woman alive.
G'night.
xoxoxo

ps. And to my friend... hang in there, things do get better & until they do, just look to your side & you'll find me right there next to you. *hug*

FIRST DAY OF FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

AHHHHHHH FINALLY!!!!!!! FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THIS IS HANDS DOWN MY FAVORITE SEASON OF THE YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not only is it my FAVORITE SEASON because of the GORGEOUS PERFEFCT WEATHER & THE TURNING COLORS OF THE LEAVES BUT THIS YEAR IT'S THE SEASON THAT I GET MY BABY GIRL RUBY!!!!!!!!!!!! Life is amazing... Ahhhhhhh =)

Today my buddy Steve & I went to Babies R Us & he bought me some things off my registry since he can't make it to the shower on sunday, so I picked out my HIP HAMMOCK! YIPPEE! And two AVENT sippy cups and two AVENT pacifiers as well as some 'fever cloths' that are disposable, they're supposed to help bring down a childs fever, let's hope I won't need to use them while in China, but better safe than sorry right? =)

Anyhoo, then we went to Salem Beer Works & had lunch & now I'm home. Tre my new frog is doing well so far... *fingers crossed* ... we'll see.

So I'm gonna go do some laundry now & catch up on my TIVO programs I have yet to get to. BBL. =)

-Me

Random thoughts...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Is Kindness more important than Honesty?

Truly, some would say it is, to spare the feelings of someone you care about is more important than speaking your mind & the truth... God FORBID you hurt someone's feelings, sure it's clearly better to just be fake & lie to make that person feel good right? WRONG!

So, to those who would say that kindness is key over Truth telling, I say the following:
I BEG TO DIFFER! Personally I want to put all the damn cards on the table & let's just call a spade a spade shall we? All this 'being kind to save face' bullshit is FOR THE BIRDS! You know, nobody ever said that life was easy, and you don't ever get dealt a royal straight flush on the first hand BUT YOU KEEP TRYING right? I mean isn't that what the point of playing the game is all about? The chance that someday you might just get lucky & get one hell of a hand?

Look, if you like someone, say so, NONE OF US is ever guaranteed a tomorrow. Christ, just BE YOURSELF and SPEAK YOUR MIND! SO FEW people do that these days and if I hear one more crap line from someone who is just trying to be 'kind' or spare my 'feelings' I'm going to CRACK!

I am NOT a fragile bird, or an antique piece of porcelian... I am tough as nails & can handle the truth from ANYONE. Sure I may not always like it but make no mistake, I'd rather hear the real deal than try to discipher sputtered out sentence fragments of some half truths that were easier to not only to say, but perhaps also to swallow. BULLSHIT!

So, is Kindness more important than Honesty?

You tell me?

3rd time's the CHARM... LET'S HOPE!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Ok, so laugh if you must but SERIOUSLY AGAIN I COME HOME TO A DEAD FROG! First time with Tad, was pretty devastating, I had her for nearly 10 years, so she was very special to me... this time, I get back from NH to find my newest little albino friend Peanut STONE COLD STIFF at the bottom of the tank, DON'T ASK CUZ I DON'T KNOW WHY, I wish I did.

So, I have a little 'moment' with Peanut before I say a few words, give her the 1 flush salute & send her to that big frog tank in the sea! UGH Such a bummer, anyway, so I call the pet store where I got her from, it's in Salem, and the guy is so very nice & sweet ( not to mention totally cute too) and he says that of course he remembers me & to come right down for another frog for free and he's so sorry about Peanut. He also remembered that I was adopting from China & asked if I had received her photo yet, HOW GOOD IS THAT! So when I went down there, he and I chatted for a few & I showed him Ruby's pic and he said she was gorgeous & contratulations over and over and over. How lucky I was to be becoming a mother to such a beautiful little girl & what a wonderful thing I was doing, etc etc etc... the usual things that kind people say to me when they hear that I'm adopting. Anyway, so we shoot the shit for a few & he takes me out back to pick out a frog, and I tell him to just pick one out himself because they were all gree this time ( no more albino's, so it didn't really matter) and so there's now a small green FAST frog in my tank once again. I need there to be 'life' in that tank on the kitchen counter, don't ask but I just like knowing that Ebby & I aren't the only ones up here ya know? So, back to the pet store, before I left he made me promise that I'd come down with Ruby once we're both home from China and to have a wonderful trip etc... He's a doll! Younger, but a doll nonetheless, I think he's 28 or 29... anyhoo, so dead frog made me sad, but new frog allowed me to flirt, not a bad gig. ;)

I'm gonna go catch up on my TIVO for a bit, catch everyone later!

-Amy

ps. New Frog's name is: Tre' the Charmer ( Tre' for 3rd and Charmer cuz THIS TIME HAD BETTER BE THE CHARM!)

NH & TAX FREE SHOPPING!

Ruby In Her Own Time...


Ok, so I'm up here with Jen & we went to the mall today and did some TAX FREE SHOPPING! I didn't buy a ton but did manage to get a new hands free earpiece for my cell phone, it's weird though the old one was just a little ear bud but this new one is some funky contraption that curls up & around my whole friggen ear! It'll take some time getting used to it I know but that's ok, the old one broke so I needed a new one! Ok so I also got a little yankee candle, this new scent called Cinnamon Apple Cranberry OMG SO GOOD!!! Jen's whole apartment smells DELICIOUS!!! We went to Olive Garden for their soup salad & breadsticks lunch, MAN WE NEED ONE OF THOSE ON THE NORTH SHORE OF MA! grrrr Maybe someday... For right now I'm gonna go curl up & get some rest before Jen & I watch 'Fever Pitch' she just bought the movie tonight but right now she's taking a nap so I should do that too. G'night for now, maybe more later. =)

-Amy

Prayers for my best friend...

... my closest & dearest friend in the whole world suffered an incredible loss this past weekend. My heart is broken for her & her dear husband and I ask all of you who read my blog to please say a silent prayer tonight that she may slowly start the healing process and know that her family & friends are always here for her to lean on no matter what. I love you my dear friend, always & forever. Tonights entry is dedicated to Spec, you will always be remembered & never far from our hearts.

-Amy

My Fuzzy Best Friend & NEARLY FINISHED STOCKINGS!!!

Ok, so could my sweet fuzzy boy Ebenezer be ANY CUTER?!@#$@#$%#$% I JUST LOVE HIM TO PIECES! I had to share that pic but honestly, this post is about something else, that picture of the stocking I posted earlier was just the image that comes with the kit, not the actual stocking I did for Ruby, HOWEVER THIS ONE IS! I tweaked with it a little & made it my own but everyone loves it, including ME! So, the stitching part is done & now I have to send it to a woman in CA who will now sew it all together as a 'finished product', cuz for right now it's just the stitching that I've accomplished... ( but make no mistake, it was a labor of love since I've been working on it since last year!)

HOPE EVERYONE LIKES IT!!!!!!!! =)

-Me

Beautiful Written Language...

Chinese Characters for American Names...

I thought this site was great! I recently ordered two CHOPS, one for my Ruby and one for my niece Isabella and this is the site where I was able to get the Character translation for their names. Ruby & Bella, SO NEAT! Just thought I'd put it out here for anyone else interested in looking up their child's name... ENJOY!

-Amy

Prayers for Gwen...

GwenBlog

Tonight I am using my blog for the greater good... I am reaching out to everyone who reads my blog whether on a daily basis or just once in a while... If you're reading these words, I'm asking you to PLEASE keep my friends in your prayers!!! They are currently in China with their precious baby girl Gwen who is unfortunately a very sick little girl. Please PLEASE, whether you believe in God or Buddah or Allah or whatever higher power put your faith in, remember my friends Karen & her husband Scott & their very small, very precious, very sick but VERY STRONG little girl Gwen when you say your prayers tonight. I believe in the power of prayer & I hope that the more people who have them in their thoughts & prayers, the healthier this sweet little girl will become & soon they will all arrive back in the USA a happy healthy whole family of 3! Thank you all SO MUCH! And to Karen & Scott who have shown themselves to be true warriors & the rock that their darling Gwen can lean on, I am forever going to be impressed with the love and dedication & unconditional commitment I'm seeing through your daily blog entries as you walk this path that is parenthood. Your love shines from China all the way to the states like the brightest star in the sky... it is imeasurable & pure & constant... a true love that will last forever. God bless you all & may he keep our little friend Gwen in the palm of his hands & close to his heart. She is one very strong little fighter... she takes after her mother. *BIG HUGS*

-Amy

Finished stockings, Survivor & house & Finding Ad's...

Ok, so I'm FINALLY FINISHED with Ruby's Christmas Stocking! ( the above pic is just a sample pic, I haven't found my digital camera to take an actual picture of her finished stocking but I will eventually, this just gives you an idea of what it looks like!) hehehe AND MAY I SAY: GOOD LORD THAT TOOK FOREVER!!! I am finished just in time to send it to the woman in CA who sews it all together with the felt backing & silk lining & all. I am THRILLED that it will be back here in time for Ruby's First Christmas as my baby girl! Life is good... =) Now, because I'm a glutton for punnishment, I am currently starting Stocking #2, for my unborn Niece Isabella Grace. ( My brother's baby...) Anyway, so I figure if I start it now, then her stocking will be ready for NEXT CHRISTMAS! lol And not a moment sooner! I'm good but hell, I don't have a magic wand! =) Now, it' off to watch Survivor & House eppisodes from this week, and may I say, yet again... GOD BLESS TIVO! ;)

More tomorrow. ;)

-Me

OH WAIT, I ALMOST FORGOT!!! In my email today I received the following:


From: brianstuy@research-china.org
Subject: Re: Please FIND MY BABY'S AD!!! =)
Date: September 15, 2005 12:34:46 AM EDT
To: AmyLa72@verizon.net


I have located your daughter's Jiangxi finding ad. It
contains her picture in black and white, as well as
other personal information.

I can make a photo of her ad for $35, which will
include negatives for later reprints.The ad is not
translated, but if you have no one that can do that
for you I can arrange for the ad to be translated for
$5. Research-China works with original newspapers,
not copies, to insure that the quality of your child's
ad is a high as possible.

I also have an extra copy of the actual newspaper page
her ad appears on which I can let you have for an
additional $40 ($75 total). Purchase of the newspaper
includes the close-up photo of her ad. It comes with
the request that you not make copies of it for other
families, but instead refer them to me. As you can
imagine, it has taken a ton of time and money to
obtain these newspapers.

I have a wonderful DVD of the Fuzhou orphanage and
surrounding area. It is available for $25.

You can place your order through Paypal
(www.paypal.com) at bhstuy@juno.com, or send a check
to me at:

Brian Stuy
550 W. 2450 N.
Lehi, UT 84043

Please include your daughter's Chinese name, her
finding date, her finding location and her orphanage
with your order.

Thanks for writing!

Brian
www.research-china.org


HOW KEWL IS THAT!!!! So I've sent him his payment as of this afternoon & I can't WAIT to see what my little Ruby looked like in her finding ad, as precious as ever I'm sure! G'night!

I LOVE SURPRISES!!!!!!!!!!!

CADOAM (Chinese Adoption Document Organizers and MORE)...

Ok, so I get home today from visiting with my babies, I missed Emma, Abi and Sam so much I HAD to go spend the day with them! So I get in & waiting for me in my mail was this 'surprise' package from my dear friend Katherine in NJ, MOMMY TO BEAUTIFUL ARIANNA!! So I open it and it's this fantastic GIFT CERTIFICATE TO THE ABOVE LINK!!! So I go & look at the items & get excited because I have enough to NOT ONLY ORDER TWO CHOPS (chinese name ink stamps) BUT LEFTOVERS FOR A LADYBUG ADDRESS BOOK & SOME LADYBUG NOTE CARDS!!!!!!!!! What a SWEET THING to come home to in my mail! THANK YOU KATHERINE!!!!!!! YOU'RE A DOLL & I LOVE YOU FOR MAKING ME SMILE SO BIG & FEEL SO SPECIAL TODAY! ;) I ordered two chops, one that says RUBY in english text & chinese characters & one that says BELLA also with text & characters. Ruby's is red ink and Bella's is black ink. I would've done Isabella but the characters are done by syllables so with only enough room for 'two' characters per stamp, Bella was the only option. ( For my niece who is due in a few weeks...) Thanks again Katherine, what a lovely surprise! I can't wait till my ladybug items & my CHOPS ARRIVE!!!!!!!!!!!! ;)

I just Love you!

-Amy

TIVO, Tea & Prayers

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Another tuesday night, another shot... no biggie, this MS thing is for the birds. Honestly if I didn't tell anyone that I had it, nobody would ever know. .. moving right along... So I'm still totally addicted to my two shows from way back in the day, and yes feel free to laugh, Dawsons Creek & Felicity. Yes, I know, I'm retarded... but TIVO ROCKS! Also, tonight was the first eppisode of HOUSE my show that is current that I ADORE! (truth be told, I have a HUGE CRUSH ON ACTOR HUGH LAURIE OMG OMG LOVE THAT MAN!) Sitting here, on the floor of my living room which is honestly where I've been spending most of my nights lately, don't ask. I have a perfectly good bed in my bedroom that sits empty night after night because, for whatever reason, I've been more comfortable out here in this room. I honestly don't know if it's the room or the couch (thanks Bernie & Phyl) or WHAT but I sleep out here night after night & am fine & well rested in the am. I'm enjoying a nice steaming cup of black tea & MAN IS THAT ONE OF THE BEST THINGS ABOUT BEING ALIVE LATELY! I love a good hot cup o tea, oh yeah, and I also just am head over heels in love with my precious baby girls BEAUTIFUL FACE! I can't stop staring at her, in my bedroom she's on my eMac, right here in the living room she's on my iMac, and in her bedroom her three original pictures from China are in beautiful frames on her bedroom bureau. I am so lucky sometimes when I think about it too long I just sit & cry because I am blessed beyond words. I need to get some sleep, but wanted to say to everyone who reads this tonight, please if you wouldn't mind, keep my friend's in your prayers tonight please. They are currently in China with their precious little one who is sick with RSV at the moment, and they need all the extra prayers they can get, thank you all so much to whoever reads this, I know that they will appreciate it too. And to my sweet birthday girl Ruby Cate Pei Mu... whatever she is doing at this very moment, I hope her heart knows that special things are in store for her & that a woman very far away loves her more than can possibly be measured, beyond the moon & the stars & back again, she is my world, my life, my everything... and I love her. Right now Ruby, I hope that your heart feels my love for you and smiles on the inside.

Love,

-Momma

XOXOXOXO

Life Is GOOD!!!

Passport renewal :$50.-
Passport pictures for China Visa: $10.-
Remaining Agency Fee: $4,000.-
Visa Cost per person: $130.-
FedEx cost to overnight documents to my agency: $30.-


Knowing that as of the moment those documents left my hands & were officially on their way to my agency I had NO MORE PAPERWORK TO WORRY ABOUT UNTIL I AM PHYSICALLY IN CHINA: PRICELESS!!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh Life is good!

Approval signed sealed & ALMOST delivered!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Well, it's official, I've checked the 'YES I ACCEPT THIS CHILD' box in the paperwork to go back to China and have all the necessary documents ready to go with passports & everything & will be headed to DHL first thing in the morning to send those to my agency overnight so they have them by tuesday! =) Once they have them they'll get put with the other acceptance letters from 7 other families in my group & then on Wed they all get sent to China. From there it's roughly 8-10 weeks before I travel. I must receive a TA (Travel Approval) first, then after receiving that, within a week or so I'm on a plane & off to get my beautiful birthday girl. Ronayne my friend who is traveling with me, is THRILLED because apparently today she realized that we'd be making a stop in Hong Kong, and I thought she knew that, but to listen to her go ON AND ON " OMG WE'RE GONNA GO TO HONG KONG, MY GOODNESS!!! etc etc etc" CLEARLY she didn't know at all & it was a very exciting tidbit of info for her, made her day. =) But then again, I'm always here to help. =) hehehe So for now, I continue to float on a cloud & just sit & stare at my little girl's precious face for hours on end. I know somewhere in the house there's probably dirty dishes to get to, or laundry just begging to be done, however... right now, all I want to do, is stare at that gorgeous little girl & periodically pinch myself because honestly I feel like it's all a dream. I'M IN LOVE!!!!!! That's all for now, more tomorrow I'm sure, I'm Italian and a LEO so honestly I just never shut up. G'NIGHT!

Ruby's first 'home'...

http://halfthesky.org/02CentersPrograms/centers/fuzhou.html

Cut and paste the above link into a new browser window to see the orphanage where Ruby is currently calling 'home'!! I'm so happy because it looks like such a wonderful place filled with bright colors and clean spaces & toys & wonderful nannies & staff who truly care about the work that they are doing!!! THANK YOU GOD FOR PLACING MY BABY THERE UNTIL SHE CAN BE PLACED IN MY LOVING ARMS! WHAT LUCKY BABIES MY RUBY IS WITH!!! I can't wait to go get my beautiful BIRTHDAY GIRL!!

A Mother's Love...

I finally got the translation of Ruby's referral info. I had been dying to know where she was found & who found her etc... The following is what her referral said:

Fu Peimu, female, born on September 7, 2004 (her birthday was estimated according to her umbilical cord). On September 9th, 2004 she was abandoned at the front entrance of the Emergency Help center. (since child abandonment is punnishable by stiff fines & jail time, her biological mother shows not only courage but true love of her baby to have been brave enough to leave her in such an obvious & BUSY place. Clearly, she could've easily been caught & reprimanded for doing such a thing, yet her child's welfare obviously meant more to her and for that I am touched & amazed & forever grateful. That one act of selflessness and unconditional love will be something that I will forever be grateful for & Ruby will know that she was TRULY loved by her biological mother.) She was sent to our institute a staff of the Emergency Help Center. When she first entered our institute, according to the doctor’s check up, she was in good health.

She has six meals a day & her primary food is milk formula, egg, rice cereal made into a paste & noodles porridge veggies, egg & other foods. (basically my little birthday girl loves to EAT!) She is up at 6am every morning and takes one nap every day from 10-noon. (YIPPEE!!) She likes to sleep in a bassinet but the light needs to be OFF before she'll go to sleep. She sleeps very well at night but sometimes is fussy.

She can stand with support under her armpits. She can stare at a moving bell and with a slight pull of her wrist, she can sit very steadily. She grasps things tightly and can move her legs up and down. She likes to lean forward to wards people. She can LAUGH OUT LOUD. (LOL) MY DAUGHTER!!!
She recognizes those around her and can turn her head when people talk or call her name or when there is a sound from something nearby. She 'LIKES TO EAT' ( as if you couldn't tell from her beautiful pictures!! my baby is a healthy girl!) She can say MAMA and other simple words. She is timid and shy but quite ACTIVE and OUTGOING! ( also my daughter!) She likes to imitate, listen to music, talk, sing, and likes busy places. (WELCOME TO BOSTON BABY!!) She is VERY ENERGETIC and reacts QUICKLY! She likes to play with other children and is an outgoing girl. She likes to take baths and the closest person to her is her caregiver.

This was all documented on April 30th, 2005. (she was nearly 8 mos old at the time)

All her health info checks out WITH FLYING COLORS! MY BABY GIRL IS BEAUTIFUL AND HEALTHY & READY FOR AMERICA!!! ;)

I am blessed, that's it, I am so wonderfully, beautifully, incredibly blessed beyond all measure. THANK YOU GOD FOR MY GORGEOUS BABY GIRL, YOU HAVE MADE MY DREAM OF BECOMING A MOTHER COME TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!

G'night Ruby, I hope to hold you in my arms very very soon! MOMMA LOVES YOU!!

XOXOXOXOXO

Because I just can't stop looking at her GORGEOUS face, here's one more...

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!

It is with MUCH LOVE and GREAT JOY that I share with you all the FACE OF AN ANGEL!

On September 7th at 3:23pm, I got 'THE CALL' on my Referral of my beautiful healthy baby girl: FU PEI MU!!! THE CALL CAME ON HER FIRST BIRTHDAY AS SHE WAS BORN EXACTLY ONE YEAR AGO TODAY, SEPT 7TH, 2004! She is gorgeous & I am simply OVER THE MOON IN LOVE WITH HER! I leave on Nov 16th from Boston's Logan Airport to go to CHINA to get my beautiful baby girl & bring her home!!!!!!!!!! =)

Ruby Cate Pei Mu
Born September 7th, 2004

DC Quote:

Ruby In Her Own Time...

" The things that you want are there for the taking... you just have to believe that you deserve them. "

-DC

Do prayers EVER get answered??

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Here's the thing... I'm not much of a church goer but I do consider myself to be quite spiritual & a good kind person, THAT SAID, I want to know why it is that night after night, I say my prayer & it still has yet to be answered? Perhaps my 'prayer line' to the 'allmighty power' is flawed? I guess it's possible, I mean I did just toss my friggen cell phone through the wash the other day, what's to stop me from somehow messing up my 'spiritual connection' without ever knowing I did so? UGH it is true that SHIT HAPPENS and LIFE SUCKS and there's not a DAMN THIN YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT!

You know, I enjoy having this blog because it is really helpful to be able to just purge every night & get shit out on the table & go to bed & do my best to leave it behind. I woke up this morning on my couch after only having gotten 3 hours sleep AT THE MOST and realized that yes, it's a new day, but NO, MY REFERRAL STILL ISN'T HERE YET! I think at this point I'm ALLOWED to be pissy and honestly, until I see my baby's face for real, I think most of you would be wise to just avoid reading my blog... it'll just depress you.

My friend is very wise... things we've talked about are similar in nature but not exactly on the same page... but close enough for sure. Two souls walking parallel through similar lives but just slightly different. Regardless, our hearts are in the right place relatively speaking, so that's good. We both need that in our lives.

I'm going to go check the status of this new package on it's way to my agency... probably another travel approval but honestly, I hope & PRAY that it's my referral, I just need to see my child's face. =(

-Me

Late night ramblings...

... my head feels like someone or something is slowly crushing it with a vice... the dead center of my skull is full of this piercing pain like being stabbed in that one spot over and over, right behind my eyes. My neck is sore, my back is killing me and my shot hurt like hell tonight, like a goddamned bee sting. On top of all that, add to my stress level the fact that I STILL have not received my referral for Ruby. Oh and then add for good measure, some emotional 'goings on' with a certain 'friend' of mine and GOOD LORD it's enough to drive a girl MAD! And if I have to hear 'we'll see' ONE MORE TIME FROM ANYONE I'm going to pick up the BIGGEST HEAVIEST OBJECT I FIND AND HIT THEM OVER THE HEAD WITH IT! T used to say that all the time & it completely pissed me off, it's such a boring use of words... it's a cop out, people say 'we'll see' when they are too damn afraid to address the subject at hand. They hide behind those words, and it's lame. Yes or No work just fine for me, USE THEM PEOPLE! Anyway... I am feeling like I might as well have been hit by a train full force & am now completely numb. IF anything happens tomorrow I'll log it but otherwise, this crappy entry in the wee hours of the morning is going to have to do for now.

-Me

Another Day...

... another TA! Grrrr It seems like every day there's another package on it's way to my agency & each time, although I hope deep in my heart that it's my Ruby's Referral, it's just someone else's Travel Approval, which is great for them, but SUCKS for me! I swear, if I had a quarter for every minute I spent being patient during this whole adoption process I'd have enough money to bring EVERYONE TO CHINA WITH ME TO ADOPT YOUR OWN BABIES ON ME! ugh So there's another package on it's way to my agency tomorrow, due by noon their time, 3pm my time. We'll see, I've lost all the 'excitement' at tracking these packages to be honest. It was fun at first now it's just like setting myself up for yet another fall, so what's the use? I know she'll come when she's good & ready but it seems as though my future daughter is truly living up to what is now my current mantra 'RUBY IN HER OWN TIME' HAS OUTRAGEOUSLY HIT THE MARK THIS TIME! It's a great book but I think if I ever adopt again, I'll get a book that is titled something like "THE BABY WHO ARRIVED EARLY!!" or something like that. I'm tired, I babysat my munchkins tonight, and am still here in marblehead at their house right now. I just put all three of them down for the night, read the stories, gave out all the kisses to everyone & a few hugs as well. I love them so much & it's nice to know that even if my darling Ruby is taking her time sharing her sweet face with her Momma, my babies who I've loved for the past 3 & a half years are always more than willing to share their sweet smiles and hugs & kisses and "I love you!"'s with their nanny! I am truly blessed, even if it appears that my daughter is somewhat of a slacker ;) LOL

-Amy (in slow motion these days)

Ahhhhh...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Ahhhhhh MUCH BETTER! Brand new CELL PHONE! Same brand as before, Nokia 6015i, I'm very 'old school' and am a serious creature of habit so this is my phone of choice! ;) The only bummer is that all my numbers in the old one were lost so I only have a few numbers in this new one, no big deal. I honestly didn't call half those people anyway. I also got my ringtones back too, and am very happy now. I know, I'm retarded... whatever, I'm happy! =)

Family is coming tomorrow for a few days & they're staying in my room so tonight, after I'm done watching my friends Kids I'm going to strip my bed & put on new bedding etc to have it ready for them when they arrive tomorrow. For now, I'm going to go play with Kayla & Danny, she's nearly 4 and he's 2... and they're ADORABLE! ;) HEHEHE

More later maybe!

-Amy

CELL PHONES!!! GRRRRRR!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

So it's not even 8am yet and I've been up & showered & dressed & am leaving shortly for the friggen Verizon Wireless place to get a NEW CELL PHONE YET AGAIN! grrrrrr I would very much like another Nokia but honestly, after two of them dying, I probably should switch to something else... but I JUST ORDERED A KEWL NEW FACEPLATE FOR THIS PHONE DAMNIT~! IT'S GOT A LADYBUG ON IT!!!!!!! I hope they can replace this with the same model if not, maybe I can write to the guy from ebay that I got the faceplate from & get the same one but just for whatever new phone model I end up getting should it come to that! grrrrrrrrrrr leaving here at 8:30am, want to be the FIRST in line at that place, NOT GONNA WAIT AT ALL! Need my phone cuz it's how my AGENCY gets in touch with me! Lovely that I'm days away from getting "THE CALL" and my cell phone decided to SHIT THE BED! ok, I need to go work more on Ruby's Christmas Stocking... it's so close to being finished I'd like to have it done within the next week or so. I think the deadline for having it finished in time to send to the woman in CA who sewes it & puts it all together is like Sept 15th or 17th or something like that, so I have a little more time. Ok, off to work on that, once the cell is working again, I'll blog it. PISSAH!

Let's try this again...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Ok so there is one more package on it's way from Beijing to my agency... it's left Beijing but so far hasn't touched down in CA. I will obviously be tracking it but I think this time, until I get the call from my agency that YES it is INDEED my referral, I am going to just chill & be a silent observer. The events of the last few days were the roller coaster ride from HELL! Talk about a fast ride straight into a brick wall! ugh...

So, for now, new package on it's way & once I know more, I'll post more. But for now, I'm going to sleep, gotta get up bright & early to be the first customer at the cell phone store to get a new phone, mine died completely tonight.

Later Gater!

-Me

False Alarm...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

It was TA's (travel approvals) that they received today, not referrals. HOWEVER, as of right now, there is another package headed to my agency from China, and I'm hopeful that this time it WILL be my daughters referral. I will track it online & keep my blog up to date but the DHL guy says that because of monday being a holiday, it's schudueled ETA is by Noon, this coming Wednesday, Sept 7th. No more to type for now, I'm emotionally drained & need to go curl up & nap. Sorry.

SHIPMENT DELIVERED!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

TRACKING SUMMARY:
CURRENT STATUS: SHIPMENT DELIVERED!
DELIVERED ON: 9-1-05 9:50am

OMG !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ANY MINUTE NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! C'MON CALL DAMNIT CALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

WITH DELIVERY COURIER!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

OMG IT'S ON IT'S WAY TO MY AGENCY!!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT I'M SHAKING LIKE A LEAF & THIS IS SUCH A WONDERFUL DAY, MY FRIEND KATHERINE FROM NJ HAD THE SAME DTC & LID AS ME & SHE JUST GOT HER BEAUTIFUL DAUGHTERS REFERRAL & HER LITTLE GIRL IS 10 MONTHS OLD TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG WHAT A WONDERFUL DAY THIS IS, I THINK I'M GONNA FAINT!

ONE SMALL STEP FOR MAN

Ruby In Her Own Time...

ONE GIANT LEAP FOR MY REFERRAL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ok, current status is this...

at 6:56am pacific time it arrived in WA at the DHL facility!

NOW I JUST HAVE TO WAIT TILL DHL DELIVERS IT TO MY AGENCY BY NOON THEIR TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMGWOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOO

STILL IN TRANSIT!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...

REFERRAL STILL IN TRANSIT! I've got my camcorder all set up on the tripod in the living room, aimed at my favorite toasty chair surrounded by all my books that I LOVE and have my Ruby Journal and special pen courtesy of my BEST FRIEND IN THE WORLD, JEN, SOON TO BE MOMMY JEN! YEAH SPEC! HEHEHE I have my cell phone on the ottoman in front of the chair & it's ready to go & I have my RED SOX hat on cuz it's just a bad hair day all around so hats are GOOD! I have a little list of things to remember to ask Eric when he calls from my agency to tell me he's staring at Ruby's BEAUTIFUL FACE! OMG I'm bundling all my emotion up inside but trust me, when that call comes & I hit record, it'll all come rushing out and the tears will flow... HAPPY TEARS!!!!!!!!!! OMG RUBY MOMMA CAN'T WAIT TO FIND OUT ALL ABOUT YOU BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Everyone keep Ruby & Me in your prayers today... I know we're going to need them for sure!

'ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!!'

Ruby In Her Own Time...

REFERRAL IS ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!! As of this morning current status is: "In Transit" it left San Francisco at 4:06am & is on it's way to Washington state! OMG OMG OMG OMG I am feeling sick to my stomach I need to go sculpt to direct all this nervous energy towards something! But first A COLD SHOWER! OMG OMG OMG MORE LATER AS IT HAPPENS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!