Good News/Bad News...

...which would you all like first?

How about the good news?
THE GOOD NEWS IS,
Miss Ruby Cate went ALL DAY TODAY in BIG GIRL underwear & only had ONE accident.
JUST ONE!
Not too shabby if you ask me,
things are looking UP in the potty dept.

Bad news?
Ugh, it even pains me to TYPE this,
but here goes...













The BAD NEWS is,
my Nikon camera FINALLY DIED today.
*sigh*
Very very sad as I don't have the money for a new one just yet
&
it will take at least a month or two to save up for one.
I don't know what's going to suck more,
me not being able to TAKE PICTURES of my girl
OR
you all having to read a TEXT ONLY BLOG?!#%$

UGH

I really still have high hopes for bookmyblog.
I had an idea of maybe having a raffle to raise money for a new camera,
like say 10 bucks a chance
&
in the end,
the winner drawn will receive their own 200 page blog book?
Thoughts?
Ideas?

Where Does The Time Go...

...it really does seem like just yesterday she turned 2.
How can it be that her next birthday there will be a #4 on the cake?
My little girl is growing up.

Potty Barbie Now Comes With CHOCOLATE! **UPDATED @ BOTTOM**

Woke up to miss Ruby smiling at me & saying,
"Morning Momma, have a good night sleep?"
So cute.
Her pull up was full, fine.
Took it off,
she sat on the potty,
FILLED IT,
LOTS of PRAISE,
on with morning routine.

Get Ruby dressed in big girl clothes,
meaning UNDERWEAR not pull ups,
pants & a tank top & a shirt.
(got rid of onsie's too, only at night now for those)
So, she's dressed,
I'm getting ready for work
&
Nonno is going to come up & have breakfast with her as she's informed me she'd rather stay home with him & paint & do play doh.

Fine.
I explain to Nonno that we do NOT do pull ups anymore.
ONLY BIG GIRL UNDERPANTS!
I left him plenty of outfits,
COMPLETE OUTFITS MIND YOU,
should there be an accident.

Kiss Ruby,
Kiss Nonno,
out the door to work.

Three hours into my shift,
cell phone rings.

Nonno: "Amyla, she's screaming blood murder for you, what do you want me to do?"
Now mind you,
this is the same guy who,
whenever I'm about to leave
&
feel the need to just go over instructions one last time JUST to be on the safe side,
says to me:
"Amyla, I am your father, you don't think I know how to watch Ruby? "

So I say to him,
"Dad, I'm at work, I don't know what you want me to tell you from here. Why is she screaming?"

Nonno: "What the hell do I know, she's just screaming for Momma, Momma, and she doesn't want to do anything, just crying for you."

"Dad, did you try 'redirecting' her? Maybe suggest some play doh or painting or even watch some Kai Lan?"

"Amyla, what time are you going to be leaving to come home?
Can you leave a little early?"

"Dad, no I can't leave a little early.
You'll be fine,
just redirect her with something else but remember,
don't let her on the furniture.
Only her chair or her wooden desk chair in case there's an accident, ok?"

Nonno: "Alright, come home soon. Bye." *click*

Honest to GAWD!

So, as luck would have it, work was dead today,
which is ODD for a Friday, but I figure there are no coincidences in life,
so perhaps I was meant to head home early to my girl.
I don't argue, I smile & leave earlier than I had planned & call my dad from the car.

Nonno: "Amyla, I'm out in the garage, your mother's in the house with Ruby & Kristen is over too. Call inside ok? I'm busy out here doing some work..."

Ok...
*calling Kristen's cell*

Kristen: "Hey Aim, what's up? How did you know I was here?"
Me: "I know everything, how's Ruby doing?"
Kristen: "She's doing a little better. She's on the couch watching a show..."
*in the background, my mother is talking*
Me: "What's my mom saying?"
Kristen: "She said to tell you not to be mad at her but she put a diaper on Ruby because she insisted on laying on the couch & your mom didn't want to be worried about pee on her couch so she put a diaper on her & that is that."

*sudden urge to bang my head against the steering wheel*

Me: *FUMING* "I'll be home in a minute." *click*

Drove probably a buck 20 in a 20mph zone, NO LIE.
Home in under a minute. (drive normally takes about four to five minutes)

March upstairs to find my apartment empty.
Call downstairs to my mothers house.
Mom: "Hello?"
Me: "Bring her upstairs... now."
Mom: *click*

Nice huh?
Always good times chatting with you too Ma.

*little footsteps up the back hall stairs*
Ruby, wearing a diaper meant for the boy that I watch Sunday mornings.
LITERALLY HIS DIAPER, HE'S BARELY 2, IT'S WAY TOO SMALL & STILL NOT THE POINT.
Diaper could've been the size of my fat ass, STILL SHOULD NEVER HAVE BEEN PUT ON HER, PERIOD.

In one fell swoop I manage to hug & kiss my daughter while at the same time RIPPING off said diaper & throwing it in the trash.

"Ruby, you wear big girl underwear now, remember?"
Ruby: "Mmm hmmm."
(she's taken to humming yes & no these days, words are too much work apparently.)
Me: "Ruby, let's go sit on the potty & see if you can go for Momma & get another sticker, ok?"
Ruby: "Uh huh..."
Me: "Yes, Ruby. Let's just try. If you go, that's great, if you don't, you still get a sticker for trying, ok?"
Ruby: "Ok Momma."

Sat on the potty, attempted to argue her way out of seeing this through at least THREE times, but ultimately went poop.
Ruby: "Momma, wook, its an adult size poop!"
Me: "Yes Ruby, it is, good girl!"
Ruby: "It's a painful one..."
Me: "Awww baby, do you need a hug?"
Ruby: "Yes."

*much hugging*

Me: "Ruby, I'm so proud of you, you did a great job!"
Ruby: "We go a toy store now Momma? Ruby wanna new Barbie... pwease?"
Me: "You know what Ruby, that sounds like a great idea!"
Ruby: "That's a good choice!"

So,
we pack several outfits
&
undies
&
plastic baggies into our diaper bag
&
grab my wallet
&
off we go.

GOOD LORD I THINK I JUST PACKED HALF HER BUREAU IN THIS DAMN BAG!
I begin to wonder to myself if I've kept the woman's contact information who actually made
&
sold me the bag in the first place as,
this one is slowly falling apart with each monstrous trip we take.
What if I want to replace it?
I digress...

So, off to TRU we go in search of the perfect Barbie.
AND, all the while, our girl is in BIG GIRL UNDIES!
(with obviously a very THICK towel under her tooshie just in case...
can't be replacing $200 car seats every other day now can we?)

So we go, we shop, we meet our newest addition to the Barbie collection ala' Ruby, we leave.
ALL WITH A DRY BUM!

On the way out, those evil TRU people put all the G'Damn CHOCOLATE at the F'N checkout!
(man did they see ME coming a mile away!)
So, you know after the stress of the morning, Momma needed herself some CHOCOLATE!
A king size kit kat, one enormous REECE'S FILLED CHOCOLATE BUNNY, and a bag full of Dove eggs later, we're headed home.
Happy toddler & new barbie in tow.

Make it home, COMPLETELY DRY STILL!
*smiling up to the heavens*
whisper: "thank you God!"

Inside we go,
I spend at least a half hour taking off all the freakin elastics
&
plastic torture devices off of miss Barbie so she can play freely like the rest of Ruby's friends.
Ruby smiles, looks at her doll, looks at me & says:
"I wuv you Momma, fank you for my new Bahbie."
*smiling*
"You're welcome baby girl, Momma loves you so much and is so proud of you. You're a big girl now, you used the potty today like a big girl!"
Ruby: "Uhhh hmmm, Ruby a big girl."
Me: "Yes you are sweetie. Now, if you have to go potty again, you can pull your own pants & underpants down & use your special potty right here, ok? Promise?"
Ruby: "Uhhh hmmm."
Me: "Ok baby, have fun with your Barbie."

So, Ruby proceeds to play with her newest addition to the ever growing plastic woman collection complete with hoochie mama clothing that I wouldn't let her so much as think about ever wearing never mind leave the house with. Only permissible on plastic dolls no taller than 6 inches. NEVER my Ruby... again, digressing. (or wishful thinking)

I head into the kitchen to get her lunch started & I hear her talking away to Bear,
who apparently has been recruited into also playing Barbies...
and then I hear it.

Ruby: "Momma! Momma Ruby come change you!"
Me: "Ruby, what's wrong baby?"
Ruby: "MOMMA! RUBY COME CHANGE YOU!"
*oh great, here we go...*

Me: "Ruby, what's wrong?"
Ruby: (sitting on the floor in a big fat wet puddle of pee) Momma, I haffa change you, you wet."
Me: "Ruby, why didn't you sit on your potty?"
Ruby: "Momma, I sawwy. I was pwaying wif my new Bahbie."
Me: "*sigh* ok Ruby, let's change you & get you dry but you need to go ON the potty from now on, ok? No more pee pee on the floor."
Ruby: "Uhhh hmmm."

Clean outfit #1.

Back to lunch making for me
&
more playing Barbie for miss Rubes.
(much to Bear's obvious dismay)

Not EVEN five minutes go by...

Ruby: "MOMMAAAAAAA! YOU WET!"
Me: *large exhale*
Ruby: "MOOOOOOMMMMMMAAAAAAA!"
Me: "Yes Ruby? Did you have another accident?"
Ruby: "Yes."
Me: "Why didn't you use the potty Ruby?"
Ruby: "I sawwy Momma. Momma haffa change you."
Me: "You know what Ruby, I will change you but I want you to know something ok?"
Ruby: "Ok?"
Me: "From now on, if you have an accident, Momma is not going to clean it up ok?
If Ruby makes the mess, RUBY is going to clean it up. Fair?"
Ruby: "Fair."

Round TWO.
Clean clothes,
more Barbie,
annoyed Bear,
cold lunch patiently waiting to be completed.

Barely into cutting up her pickle...

"MOMMMMMAAAAAAAA!"
*seriously annoyed at this point, searching for that F'N REECE'S BUNNY I BOUGHT, KNEW THERE WAS A REASON FOR BUYING A SURPLUS OF CHOCOLATE! GRRRRRRRR!*

Me: "Ruby, get up."
Ruby: "Whaa Momma?"
Me: "GET UP."
Ruby: "Momma gonna haffa change you."
Me: "Nope. Ruby is going to do it all by herself. Not Momma."
Ruby: "NO RUBY DO IT!"
Me: "Oh YES Ruby do it. Right now."
Ruby: "NOOOOO!"
Me: "Ruby, you have two choices ok?
You either clean up your mess OR you can sit in yuckky wet pants."
Ruby: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MOMMA HAFFA CHANGE YOU!"
Me: "Clean up your mess or sit in it, your choice."
Ruby: "NO CHOICE!"
Me: "Yes, choice."
Ruby: "NO RUBY HAFFA CHOICE!"
Me: "Actually Ruby, you do have a choice. I'll leave you to think about what you'd like to do. Momma's going to go finish making your lunch now, ok?"
Ruby: *SCREAMING*
Me: "I love you Ruby, I'll call you when lunch is ready."
(searching the fridge for chocolate... where's that damn bunny!@$#$%)

2 - 3 minutes lapse...
Ruby: "Momma?"
Me: "Yes Ruby?"
Ruby: "Ruby wanna haffa cwean up."
Me: "That's a great choice Ruby.
Would you like me to get you some paper towels & some spray to help you?"
Ruby: "Yes pwease Momma."
Me: "Good Ruby, I would love to get those things for you."
Ruby: "Thats a wuvwy way a asking"
Me: "Yes baby girl, that IS a lovely way of asking. Thank you for being so polite."
Ruby: "You welcome Momma."

Hand her the paper towels, she cleans up her OWN mess!
(thank you to Michelle for the advice on making HER clean it up!
Girl, you're a freakin GENIUS!)

Two dozen paper towels & some windex later, mess is cleaned & Ruby is now dry once more.

Lunch still isn't finished & Bear has successfully wandered off of his own accord as to avoid more Barbie playing or else he'll throw himself bodily from our living room window I'm sure of it!

Ruby proceeds to play Barbies WITHOUT Bear, I attempt one last time to finish making lunch.

Maybe a minute goes by...

Ruby: "MOOOOMMAAAAAA!!!!!!!"

*scanning the kitchen for the largest knife in the butcher block
&
wondering how long it takes sever a jugular.*
Me: "Yes Ruby?"
Ruby: "You wet."
*sweet mother of all that's good & holy*
Me: "RUBY, AGAIN@!$#?$%#%^"

Ok, here's where I pull out the BIG GUNS!
At TRU I purchased some solid Dove milk chocolate easter eggs.
THEY ARE NOW GOING TO BE THE BAIT BY WHICH I BRIBE MY KID INTO PISSING ANYWHERE BUT ON MY F'N CARPET!
Me: "Ruby, see these? They're chocolate eggs. Don't they look yummy?"
Ruby: "Ruby wanna haffone"
Me: "Ruby, you CAN have one,
you just need to go potty
&
then Momma will give you one, ok?"
Ruby: "Ok Momma."

Sits on potty,
surprises the shit out of me by actually STILL having some pee in her to EXPELL,
and goes potty.
Then says,
"Ruby wanna haffa have a chocowate egg now? Ruby wanna haffa hava gween one pwease!"

*are you kidding me?*

CAN ANYONE ELSE SEE A CONTROL ISSUE HERE?
This kid has figured out the one area of her life that SHE CAN CONTROL and that little stinker's gonna do it, HER WAY!

I honestly don't give a rats ass HOW MANY CHOCOLATE EGGS I END UP FEEDING THIS KID,
IF IT'S ALL IN THE NAME OF DRY PISS FREE CARPETS EVERYWHERE,
THEN ALL HAIL DOVE FOR THEIR EGG'LICIOUS CHOCOLATY GENIUS!

Since the 'egg' introduction, only ONE accident & it happened while we were finally sitting down to lunch (which by this time was clearly morphing into 'dinner') and I'm pretty sure at that point, she was SO HUNGRY she'd have shit herself before abandoning that plate of chicken nuggets- (ketchup for dipping), sharp cheese, cut up pickles & a big ole milk sippy.
I didn't yell at that accident.
Honestly, food & me go way back & a good meal, when you're starving, is something I UNDERSTAND, and there have been nights I nearly had accidents myself because I couldn't tear myself away from that piece of chocolate layer cake & huge honkin' glass of MOO.

After that, RUBY STILL cleaned up the mess,
saying as she did so,
"Rubys mess, Ruby cwean a up."

Then it was time for snuggle time, stories, jammies (PULL UP) and BED!

Seriously, I'm telling you...
if not for that luscious chocolate peanutty friend of mine
(who is now missing a head & half his torso)
tucked neatly into the back of my 'cheese drawer',
I'd be sitting here in a pile of my own drool, twitching.

It's nearly 2:30am & I'm JUST NOW calm enough to curl up in bed next to my beautiful sleeping child who WILL, IF IT KILLS ME, learn how to pee pee on the potty.
It just might behoove some of you to purchase stock in Dove chocolate,
cuz lord knows Rome wasn't built in a day.

Over & out.

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

**UPDATE**
Ruby just woke up with a DRY PULL UP and I immediately suggested both of us going potty but that Momma would not get anything but RUBY WOULD GET A... (and she yells out to finish my thought) "A CHOCOLATE EGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!"
She jumped off the bed, ran to the tv room (where we keep her potty for now cuz it seems to work best there) and was shedding pj's while en route.
Sat on the potty, Momma went to go do her business & I return to see a smiling Ruby looking up at me saying proudly, "YOU DID IT! RUBY GET A CHOCOWATE EGG NOW MOMMA!"
I peek into her potty & sure enough, filled to the brim with pee pee.
*big smile*
Me: "You bet your potty you do baby!"
I happily handed Ruby her container of eggs so she could pick the one she wants.
(they're all wrapped in foil, she always picks the GREEN ones, not sure what I'll do when all of those are gone actually...)
She peeled it, cleaned up the mess she made, and ate her egg saying in between bites:
"Momma, Ruby is a big girl... an Ruby wuves chocowate!"
See? This kid IS SO MY DAUGHTER!
hehehehehe
CHOCOLATE BRINGS PEOPLE TOGETHER DAMNIT!
It's a GOOD START to a GOOD DAY!
Oh, AND you'll note the time? Oh that's right, it's nearly 9am,
my girl let me SLEEP A LITTLE LONGER THIS MORNING!
Now if I could only score a chocolate egg, all would be right with my world.
;)

WOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

God, Grant Me Strength...*updated/see bottom*

...to not lose my mind or start pulling out my hair during this POTTY TRAINING process.
And make no mistake, for us, it's a PROCESS!
At first, I was all gung ho about getting her a potty seat.
Her own little 'big girl' seat to go pee pee on.
Only problem was, she was barely home six months when I bought it,
(jumped the gun clearly)
and used it for Bear.
Nothing more.
THEN, a few miraculous times, BOOM she'd actually USE THE THING!
I thought, SUCCESS!
At first we hand made a potty chart,
it got filled up with stickers both for going & for trying.
(incentive I thought... I hoped...)
Next, we bought a big ole poster board & filled that up too.
And then another & the same, filled up...
...with lots of 'trying' but no real history of repeat success.
Sporadic success, questionable success, unreliable success.
Things migraines are made of really...

More time goes by, now my girl isn't so little anymore, she's grown into this gorgeous TALL girl who clearly has outgrown that silly first potty I foolishly bought her.
So, smart me thinks, OK, time for a NEW POTTY, one that RUBY CAN PICK OUT HERSELF!
(figured if I let her be involved in the whole process, it might lead to a better success rate.)
Psst, I was wrong.

So, we buy this new chair, had higher than high hopes, first day home she used it three times in a row, SUCCESSFULLY & OF HER OWN ACCORD I MIGHT ADD!
Were things beginning to look up?
*fingers, toes, eyes etc, crossed*

Day two with the new potty seat... three accidents & four dirty pull ups later.

Ok, next bright idea, NO MORE PULL UPS!
I am so annoyed that I allowed her to become the 'lazy' kid when it comes to pottying.
Honestly, that's what pull ups do.
Sure they buy me 'laundry free evenings' filled with quiet book reading & steaming cups of tea rather than overflowing baskets of urine drenched laundry that can't wait to be washed as it will promptly turn the house a lovely scent of BLECK should I toy with the idea of NOT doing it asaFp.

So, at first, pull ups all day long seemed like my life saver.
Now?
I'm rethinking the whole thing.
Why did I think that was a good idea?
Ruby is days away from officially becoming 3 & 1/2
and she's nearly taller than ME
( she might be taller than my brother actually come to think about it)
and she UNDERSTANDS THE MECHANICS OF WHAT A POTTY SEAT IS & HOW IT'S TO BE PROPERLY USED! SHE GETS THAT!
She just is CHOOSING TO NOT COMPLY.
Oh yes, that's right, it's a CHOICE.
And if I hear one more time from one more person
(mainly my parents)
that, "Oh, she's just a baby, she doesn't understand..."
I'm going to scream so loud that her foster family will hear me clear as a bell in China!

Baby my ASS! This kid speaks two languages AND understands some Chinese as well as 'sign'.
Baby she is not.

Allow me to indulge you in a moment in my day today,
which oh, by the way, happy Valentine's day to you all,
despite getting dressed up in Red (me) & Pink (Ruby),
we had a very non-traditional Valentine's day.
My daughter's gift to me was to sit for a half hour on her potty,
tell me that she didn't have to go but "Thank you trying!"
and then immediately proceed to pull her undies up,
(Dora ones I THOUGHT would also help, again thought wrong)
pulled her pants up, grabbed her buddy Bear,
squat over a puzzle on my bedroom carpet & RELIEVE HERSELF RIGHT THERE.
Only MOMENTS after having been SITTING for a half hour or MORE on a potty,
this girl got up, maintained composure enough to get dressed,
had time to grab her friend & pick a puzzle to 'pretend' to be interested in before she finally allowed herself to pee.
ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
She has control all right, just in the things she WANTS not the things she knows her Momma wants for her.
I am so fed up with it that I literally, this morning, decided no more pull ups.
PERIOD.
AMEN.
END OF STORY.
(ok, that was SO my mother just then...)
I told her from now on, she only gets to wear pull ups at NIGHT.
That's it.
For the rest of time now, she'll wear big girl clothing & if she pees, she pees.
I will do laundry until I comprise enough used dryer sheets to fashion myself a g'damned dress!
No more pull ups!
Today alone, three outfits, dirtied.
She sits, she does nothing, always says "THANK YOU TRYING!", then proceeds to do her best impression of a PUPPY IN TRAINING!
I'm having flash backs to Ebby's puppy years & trust me, she's cute, but this is NOT FUN
AND after I clean up her mess, she doesn't want to play fetch with me or snuggle & kiss my face.
SO not the same experience. I can't tire her out with playing to guarantee myself she'll nap for a few hours & I can then get to that mountain of laundry that has begun to crawl up the sides of my walls.
Nope, she's a toddler, a little girl who has chosen LAZY over SUCCESS.
I so could kick myself because I know I had every hand in this by being the enabler always with a pull up at the ready.
Shame on me for opting for convenience & cleanliness over learning experience.
Shame on me for thinking about myself first rather than what was best for my daughter.
I know this isn't the end of the world but as you can see, I've typed a freakin' book here so you can tell that this is something that is driving me INSANE right about now!
She is taking a nap right now surprisingly, merely because she's still trying to shake that cold & the Benadryl she takes for her allergies makes her drowsy sometimes.
Today clearly is one of those times.
So while she naps, COMPLETELY DRY I MIGHT ADD, I sit here & vent my frustrations.
If I were a gambling woman, I'd bet that as soon as she wakes up, IF she's still dry (which it looks like she might end up being...) she'll sit again, "try", get up, say "THANK YOU TRYING!" and then piss again on my carpet, or in the kitchen, or in the living room, or ANYWHERE but where she should be going, her beloved potty that only three days ago, she was so very very excited about using.
So again, I ask... GOD, GRANT ME STRENGTH!

Oh, and for the record, I'm already on my second load of laundry today.
(so far, I have half a boob covered on that dress... more to come.)

*She woke up dry, sat on the potty (because I insisted), did a minimal amount of pee pee, still praised her BIG TIME, sticker & everything and prayed that this time would be different.
She pulled her undies & pants back up, curled up on the floor of my bedroom with Bear
and proceeded to completely drench her pants, the down throw she was laying on, my carpet,
her Bear, etc...
I really am at a loss for what to do next besides successfully lose my mind
&
every ounce of patience I used to pride myself on having with children.
*sigh*
Why is it that raising other people's children is so much easier than raising your own?

Check THIS Out...

...is this INSANE or WHAT?@#%^%@#!


I LOVE IT!!!!!


And this one is just the silly PROTOTYPE!
I'm telling you,
once I put the image on the front the way I want it
&
fix the font size,
I'm going to be OVER THE MOON IN LOVE with this thing!
WOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOO!
Can someone pinch me please?
You know,
I'm thinking I want to have some sort of contest where one of you can win
your very own blog book!
I've just gotta figure out how to come up with something creative enough!
*BIG SMILES*

Ok, Here's The Skinny...

...on my BIG FAT IDEA!
Most of you who read my blog are fellow adoptive parents.
Most of you are very well aware of the adoption tax credit we're all entitled to.
Most of you probably even know that you have only a certain amount of time in which to claim said credit, at least here in MA that is sadly the case.
Now, some of you might be thinking
"Amy, why 'sadly'?
You've been home two years now,
you shouldn't be worried about that silly ole' tax credit,
you've probably claimed all of it by now I'm sure, right?"

Wrong.

The sad truth of it is, upon our arrival home from China, I had just come off the heels of working full time for a wonderful family as their Nanny.
I worked serious hours & had logged lots of tax time for good ole' uncle SAM.
Thus, my first installment of 'adoption tax credit' (henceforth known as ATC)
was easily claimed that first April of 06.
Since then, let's review my work history...

Took first year home OFF to spend with Ruby
&
lived happily on my unemployment which was more than enough to do just that.

Next year, worked for crazy biotch (henceforth known as CB)
caring for her twins under the table (henceforth known as UTT).

CB = headaches & more headaches.
UTT = no uncle sam taxes.

CB + UTT = ANOTHER YEAR WITH NO ADOPTION TAX CREDIT REFUND.

Fast forward to this past year.
Got wonderful job at the local Y.
LOVE the children, love working there, hate that it's only part time.

After talking with my tax guy recently, found out that again...
part time just didn't cut it for qualifying for my adoption credit.
And that's not ONLY the worst part,
he also told me that I have just one year left to do something about that
or uncle SAM gets my money.
WHAT@?%$%^$%^
No way no how,
Ruby's gotta go to COLLEGE!

Over the last few weeks I've agonized over what to do & typically when I am in a bind, I tend to let my mind wander because I find I achieve my greatest successes in life when my creative side takes over.
I was chatting with my dear friend Kristen recently about how worried I was about not being able to claim my refund for Ruby & how I wish I could figure out a way to do something meaningful & worthwhile to change that.
Days go by...
Work comes & goes,
play dates with Ruby,
blogging continues...
life went on.

Then, as I was hanging out with Kristen yet again, I began to wonder out loud.
(a trick I learned years ago having Jen as a best friend who is also a reference librarian, if you wonder things OUT LOUD for others to hear, they tend to listen.)
For instance, I'd wonder aloud about "hmm, I wonder if there are any kewl Chinese language tools available through the library..."
and within the hour typically, Jen would have, in my email, a LIST of options.
A PLETHORA if you will.
*grin* like that one English major? ;)

So, I guess I just got so used to 'thinking out loud' with Jen, that I just kinda did it automatically with Kristen.
I thought to myself,
(rather loudly)
that wouldn't it be great if I could take my blog & turn it into an actual book,
not just for me to enjoy curling up with & reading,
but to also be able to leave as a 'time machine' of sorts for Ruby for when she's older & can appreciate all that her blog represents.
Every post, every photo, every moment of her life,
taken from the computer & put into a physical, hand held form for her to lose herself in whenever she's in the mood to time travel.
Oh how many times I'd wished I had the same opportunity to do that with my own childhood.
Sadly for myself & for, I'm guessing, most of you... all I had was a baby book with a few 'first' photos of milestones & then, the entry's start to get less & less detailed,
trailing off here & there until they are all together gone & I'm left with a fraction of a second of my childhood put to paper.
I wonder all this out loud & the brain of my friend Kristen starts turning...

(did I mention that Kristen has a masters in Business?)
She says to me, "Aim, that's a brilliant idea, you think alot of people would want to do that besides you?"
I chuckled at the foolishness of her question.
Uh, DUH! Of COURSE they would!
People who blog do so because they love to write,
they love to keep daily accounts of the things they cherish most in the world.
Their children!
Their families!
Their pets!
Their lives!
Her eyes got wide & she just smiled from ear to ear & said:
"Ok then, so let's do it. You've got the creative side & I've got the business end. Makes a perfect match in my opinion & really, what have we got to lose?"

I had to agree, I am creative & she is a genius with the things I know NOTHING about business wise AND really, we DIDN'T have anything to lose!
The way I saw it, I had only one thing to gain,
a better future for myself & for Ruby.
Not to mention that if this takes off like I'm hopeful it will,
I'll earn enough to claim the remainder of my ATC.
Wouldn't that be something?
*smiling*
So, we brainstormed
&
bookmyblog.com
was born.

I have some photos to upload once my camera stops being moody,
of our prototype book.
It's a mere portion of Ruby In Her Own Time... (2005) and OMG did I ever lose my mind when I first held this thing in my hands, I was shaking.
To feel,
to hold,
to open up
&
read with my own two eyes,
my blog,
this work of art that only ever became a reality because of the gift of my beautiful daughter,
right here, in my hands, IN A HUGE KICK ASS HARD COVER BOOK!
You could not have wiped that smile off my face with sand paper in that moment!
It's a rough copy, it's not how I would've set it up
(Kris did it & she isn't as versed in the joys of 'blogger' as I am, thus early exec decision, I build the books personally from now on since I know what I'm doing in that dept.)
it wasn't the image I would've used on the cover,
but none of that mattered just at that moment.
The only thing that I was allowing to register in my brain was;
"holy shit, this is Ruby's life, in book form.
Someday, when she's ready,
she can kick back & read every moment,
every last Tuesday's with Uncle Steve,
every last photo,
every silly quirk of her Momma's in bold black & white text among a sea of colorful photos,
whenever, wherever & as often as she wants.
Wow.
If that isn't a gift I just don't know what is.

You know... I know most of the time I live like I'm just like the rest of the world.
Another mom doing her daily dance of life with her child but the reality is, I do all that while living with MS.
Most times I honestly forget I have it, aside from the nights I have to give myself a shot.
But sometimes, just sometimes... my tired legs remind me it's there.
My right arm that has never been the same since I was diagnosed in 04', reminds me.
My inability to stand up straight in the shower with my eyes shut WITHOUT the help of holding onto the safety bar, reminds me.

I am so very VERY blessed thus far in my life
&
hope to be blessed for many many more years to come.
But,
just in case those 'many many' years turn out to only be 'many',
it does my heart good to know that every moment until that last 'many' will be captured in such a way that I'm leaving behind a time capsule of sorts for my little girl.
Now, in no way am I saying that a blog book replaces a mother,
because it doesn't.
But, if given the option of having no mom & no book,
or no mom but at least a series of books chronicling her childhood,
I think it's pretty clear which one I'd pick...

It's a small idea that could turn into a big giant success.
And I have one gorgeous little girl to thank for it.
Goodnight Ruby, sleep well baby,
Momma's gonna do her best to make our world a brighter place,
one blog at a time.

And to all of you,
please, feel free to add bookmyblog
to your list of links.
Share it with a friend,
have that friend tell five friends,
and so on & so forth.

I plan on having a 'referral' discount for any business that comes my way via you guys!
For instance, let's say you tell someone about us & they order a book.
Upon the successful completion of their order,
a percentage of the price of your book will be discounted from the final amount for every referral sent my way!
I haven't figured out an exact percent just yet,
that's Kristen's forte,
she crunches numbers,
I prefer crunching cereal.
;)
OOOH COCOA PEBBLES!
Crap, now I'm hungry!
GRRRRR
Ok, moving on...

About this business,
I truly have nothing but high hopes for this.
I've felt fantastic about it since day one
&
hope that you'll all want to be a part of something so near & dear to my heart,
that just thinking about it fills me with a joy that can only come from a place of pure love.
A place that each & every one of you know all too well.
It's a place you visit every time you see your child smile.
And even those of you still waiting, you too know that love, or else you would not have the strength or the patience to endure such a wait.
It's love that drives us all, isn't it?
It has to be!
So, I guess what I'm saying is,
wish me luck!
It's gonna be a fun & bumpy ride!

(And who of you thought I was pregnant?)
HA!
Don't you all know that there would need to be a
MAN
in that equation for that to even be an option?
LOL


Now I'm giggling... hehehehe!

Pssst...

...hey look,
there's a new link down there under our picture...
(wonder what that could be?)
*grin*

A Pretty Big Announcement...

...is soon to grace this blog.
Just need a little more time to be sure everything is in place prior to the big unveil.
I'm so excited I could pee my pants!
Any guesses?
*grin*
(and for the VERY VERY FEW [like two or 3] of you who actually KNOW what it is...

...NO CHEATING!

I KNOW They Mean Well...

...but I may need to see my PCP about scoring some prescription type drugs
to help get me through the 'grandparent' years!
OY VEY!

Cute pics, right?
*sigh*
On the surface, yes...

...but if you remember I just blogged about my dear girl being sick with a low grade fever
&
probably the worst cold ever, right?
Look closely at the photos,
do any of you see an actual COAT or HAT on my girl?

No really, look closer... anything? anything? COAT?
Not so much!

You know,
I know being able to leave her home with my parents is a blessing,
HOWEVER,
one assumes (and by 'one' I mean ME)
that they'll know enough to at least DRESS HER ACCORDINGLY
when it's freakin' WINTER OUT and the girl is SICK!

Seriously, just typing this I need something for my head...

(her outfit: just a sweatsuit with a onesie underneath, THAT'S IT!
Add to that a silly VEST,
um HELLO who the HELL thinks,
"ok, it's very cold out & there's snow,
the hell with my down jacket,
I'm gonna go with the VEST!"
and then just a pair of mittens & snow boots.
No wonder my girl isn't getting any better.
Free babysitting: you get what you pay for.
*sigh*)

And to all of you who don't have the luxury of having grandparents at your disposal for helping out here & there, my sympathies, and no I'm not always bitching, I love my parents very much HOWEVER (again with that however...) they just need to respect the "I'm the parent" part of this scenario, which 9 times out of 10, they don't.
I tell them to dress her warmly if they go out, they say yes, & then I get pictures back like these.
They have no boundaries with Ruby, let her do what she wants, when she wants & then question me as to why Ruby is so 'fresh' when she's with them.
I politely tell them it's because they have zero boundaries & little or no discipline when it comes to her. Children NEED rules...
and to that my father replies, quite loudly I might add:
"Amyla, she's only 3! SHE'S JUST A BABY SHE DOESN'T NEED RULES!"
See what I'm dealing with?
I again explain that if they don't establish some ground rules with Ruby, then all they've done is TEACH her that, with them, THERE ARE NONE, and therefore she'll CONTINUE to be disobedient when in their company.
They don't believe it & just think that I'm raising a 'fresh kid'...
Even after I've told them that "Mom, Dad, she doesn't do those things with me because she KNOWS she'll never get away with it. She KNOWS that Momma has rules & she knows them & abides by them or else suffer the consequences."
Again, Joe pipes in: "Oh so she's just AFRAID OF YOU, IS THAT HOW YOU PARENT? WITH FEAR!"

I don't know if it's just different generations or what, but the bottom line is, if you chose to care for her without rules, then YOU, as GRANDPARENTS will then suffer your own consequences, and if those happen to be a kid who is fresh beyond fresh with you, so be it.
Every second, of every minute of every day that Ruby is in our lives, we've been 'teaching' her through our actions. Teach her rules & right & wrong, & she'll learn that.
Teach her that she's the boss & can do no wrong in your eyes,
then trust me, she'll learn that too.
And sadly, sometimes wrong can be REALLY WRONG.


Any ass vice?
Anyone?
And while we're at it, if someones got a nice toasty winter coat lying around,
can my girl maybe borrow it till spring?
LOL
UGH~!

CNY 2008...

...The RAT!

It's wild, cuz I was born the year of the rat way back in 1972.
Not sure what it means that it's the year of the rat again,
other than the fact that I'm clearly OLDER...

If my child were feeling good today,
we'd have done something fun to honor this holiday.
But since she's sick with a fever & a raging cold complete with faucet nose,
we opted for some quality cuddle time and puzzles bought while in China.


(Believe it or not that puzzle didn't have individual provinces outlined,
I insisted on doing it after having taken it apart only ONCE
to then notice just how HARD it was to put back together without losing my MIND!)

(every time she does this puzzle, she's quick to point out:
"Look Momma! Jiang Xi! Jiang Xi! That where Ruby born!")

Also on today's list of festivities: pasta fajiole, Benadryl, Bear, magic paint, and Kai Lan!
So, not the CNY that one would associate with this holiday,
but it was ours, and quality time with my girl is a good thing no matter what!

Happy Chinese New Year my love,
Momma is so happy we're a family!

Silly Saturday...

...aren't pictures the MOST fun?!


PS. for those curious, the tubular things on their heads,
according to miss Rubes,
are their "SPACE HELMETS"
and she ALWAYS makes sure to have them on PRIOR to going into her "SPACE SHIP",
aka: her pop up tent in our TV room.

She'll ask to fly to the moon,
get 'ready' with helmets,
crawl in & zip everything up then Momma promptly starts to help with the count down
and shakes the hell out of her "ROCKETSHIP" so as to mimic takeoff
&
I can tell you,
I've never seen her happier then when her imagination is at full throttle.
She describes to Bear,
"Bear, dis is da moon.
Be careful Bear,
don'wanna hafyou fwoat away from Ruby,
stay cwose Bear, I keepa you safe!"

I don't know what's up with the 'keepa' you safe,
but I'm chalking it up to being Italian?
LOL

Julie...

...ROCKS!
Thank you SO MUCH for helping me to add our kewl new
EMAIL LINK!

I'm so happy right now,
probably ALMOST as happy as miss Rubes was today
while doing this:


THREE CHEERS FOR TESSIE'S MOM!
Love that little snippet of her calling herself Tessie,
makes me smile just thinking about it.
=)

Toddler Speak Vs. Toddler 'CODE'... (BONUS #11)

*NOTE* Toddler Speak #10 is NOT in any way
related to Toddler Code #10.
Speak is speak & Code is just code...
neither are related other than they were the first ten I could think
of off the top of my head.
Which would then bring us to Mommy Brain,
but that is another post altogether.
*sigh*

TODDLER SPEAK

Care to wager a guess, or two?
(*my favorites)

1. cowapiller
2. pitcha
3. chicken
4. aminals
5. pink
6. haffa
7. pwease
8. vians
9. skech askech
*10. fribbsie

BONUS:
# 11: Amerigerah

Seriously,
I know I'll be just the teeniest bit sad the day she realizes
how to properly say these words...

Toddler speak is SO DAMN CUTE!

Now, on to new things the adults in my life are now
saying (much due to my insistence)
in lieu of their naughty counterparts:

TODDLER CODE

1. spit
2. truck
3. trucker
4. jeepers crow
5. gosh darn
6. oh my gosh/golly
7. silly talk
8. spex
9. spexual
*10. gosh darn trucking trucker

*note that the adult toddler code #10 has only ever had to be used once, thank GOODNESS!

Patriots Perfection...

...IS SO CLOSE EVEN RUBY CAN TASTE IT!
(but first,
let us pause for this impromptu'
"PERFECT" dance!)


hehehehe


Future Patriot's Cheerleader?

Hmmm could be!


So long as they're ok with her moonlighting as a BUNNY during the games!


Amazing what two pairs of socks,
bunny ears,
&
one hell of an imagination can do for a girl!



GO PATS!!!!
MAN IS IT EVER FANF'NTASTIC TO BE FROM BOSTON!
AKA: FAN NATION!
WOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Adoption Talk + Dinner =

...TOMORROW!
Old family friends of ours are headed over to have a sit down talk about adoption.
Bobby & his wife,
after several failed attempts at IVF,
are now very interested in adoption.
Since I'm the only person they know who has adopted,
it made sense to have them over
&
just talk to them about their options, etc...

Now you KNOW I can't have anyone over WITHOUT feeding them, right?
WELL,
I invited them over for dinner prior to finding out that they were...
(wait for it)
...VEGETARIANS!
WOW,
ok- no problem,
just a new game plan,
cuz I was SO going to make this,
but now?
(not so much)

So,
that having been said,
I've turned my attention to a dinner menu that is sure to please...

Main Course

&

Dessert!

I'm sure I'll take some pics of the finished products but for now,
the links will have to do, k?

It's funny,
I really can only give them insight into my adoption journey to miss Ruby,
which may or may not be helpful depending on how long they're willing to wait to be parents.
With China's wait time frame now bordering 3+ years,
I'm sure they may find that slightly discouraging to say the least.

I will share with them that originally,
my plan was to adopt through M.A.R.E,
(Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange)
where you adopt an older child through the foster system.
(and for the record, that plan is certainly NOT gone,
just on a back burner for now...)

If they're willing to adopt an older child,
then perhaps that will be the route for them.
It's just such a personal decision,
that I really can only offer information into my experience
&
hope that that,
paired with a good home cooked meal,
some books to borrow and read,
&
catching up on old times,
that they come away from this with a positive outlook
&
hope for their future forever family.

We'll see.
Keep them in your prayers please,
as I know what a tough time they've been having.
Thanks & I'll keep everyone posted...

I Don't Know...

...about Muzzy?

I know they say that it's an excellent learning tool for language in children,

but after watching it over top to bottom at least twice with miss Ruby,
I just don't know.

It's a little fast paced,
there's not really any good pronunciation help with the words,
no teaching of how to write characters, they're just flashed up on the screen,
and the character 'Corvax' the creepy dude in the black cape type gown?
HE'S SLIGHTLY FRIGHTENING!
Long pointy sharp fingers AND pointy TEETH like knives!
He's creepy & walks with a slow saunter as well as a humped over sinister sort of way.

Just don't see how this is for kids...
perhaps I need more time with Muzzy to feel the love.

Right now?
So not feelin' it.

Anyone out there either buy these for their kids or know someone who has?
All I can say is THANK GAWD I didn't pay the outrageous amount of money for it as my brilliant friend Jen helped me score one through an inter-library loan & it's mine for a week & more if I chose to renew it... THANKS JEN!

If I'd have paid the price they ask for this & had received it sight unseen,
I'd be slightly pissy that THAT'S what my money purchased.
Thank goodness for LIBRARIES!

Sorry Muzzy,
although you're fuzzy
&
my daughter's favorite color,
I still need more time...

Numb...

...I simply can't believe it.
It feels like YESTERDAY that I remember posting THIS.
His words on love touched me in such a way
that they reached a little corner of my heart that not many people know exists.
Thank you Heath... you took the words right out of my soul.

If any of you have yet to see Brokeback Mountain,
please,
in honor of LOVE in every form
watch it.


Heath, may you rest in eternal peace my friend,
you left us much too soon...

*sadness*

Loud & Crazy Family Parties...

...can still have,

their quiet moments.

SO in love with this girl, it's SILLY!

Vick's, Chick Drugs & The Color GREEN!

This little number packs a PUNCH but MAN does it clear the sinuses!
After our visit to the doctor today,
we learned that since the Vick's was successful last night on her chest,
that perhaps this was the better alternative than to slather it on her & around her nostrils.
I couldn't agree more... and truth be told, I am SO breathing easier as I sit here & type this!
Already set it up on my nightstand & have it running so that when it's time for bed,
the room is ready & waiting!

Also, completely unrelated but I have to share...

I don't know WHEN this happened, but OH IT DID!
My whole life, I've never once had to worry about 'female' issues every month.
It came, it went, with little to no fanfare, end of story.
(almost ended that sentence with PERIOD, but figured that was too cheezy, evenfor ME!)
hehehe
*wink*

SO, that having been said... as of late,
(late meaning within the last few months or so)
Now when I am feeling like a woman each month,
It's more like a woman who's just been mugged by a thug brandishing a sledgehammer,
who chose to hit my lower back with the accuracy of a sharpshooter & then left for dead!
Good times, right?

NOT!
But,
it is what it is,
and I have discovered something that I am now
IN
LOVE
WITH
&
need to have in this house at
ALL
TIMES!

Allow me to introduce you to my new little friend...

WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOO
THEY SHOULD CALL THIS SHIT PAIN BE GONE,
CUZ THAT'S WHAT IT DOES!

PAIN?
BE GONE!

*grin*
Now not only am I flying high off Vick's Vapor FUMES,
but I'm officially an advocate for CHICK DRUGS!
ROCK ON!

Now if I could just manage to gently wake my sleeping girl up...
(fell asleep on the ride home from Target)
Dinner is ready & I know she's going to be ravenous when she finally does wake up.
But not only is dinner ready but I also don't want her sleeping so much that she then refuses to go to sleep for me tonight. She gave up her naps more than six months ago, completely.
So, now, when she falls asleep like this, I KNOW she isn't feeling good.
Perhaps the aroma of the pasta & broccoli is lost
due to the overwhelming fact that my house is beyond overcome with the scent of VICK'S!

hehehe

Oh, and one last little tidbit...
Miss Ruby scored herself a pair of THESE while at her beloved Target...


...to say that she is excited would be an understatement.
I so love that her favorite color is GREEN!
*smile*

Bedtime Snorter...

...brought to you by:
A hot bath,
Vicks VapoRub
&
a
SERIOUS
case of the
GIGGLES!

*grin*