Saturday, October 15, 2005

Ignorance & stupidity are NO MATCH for LOVE...

Ok... my friend Karen GwenBlog is a wonderful friend who is now blessed to be Mother to the most beautiful little Gwendolyn I've ever seen! That said, her blog recently had a post in it with a link to a most disturbing article from this woman who apparently is lacking in the 'education' department. Below is that article, but I warn all about to read it, be prepared... ignorance & stupidity are clearly alive & well, at least in her cubicle...

Intolerance & stupidity: Alive & Well ...

After having read that I couldn't help but email her with my 2cents... ( ok maybe it was more like $1.00 worth) but it just HAD to be said!

"Most churchgoers congratulate a husband and wife who’ve just returned from China, complete with Asian baby girl in tow, an infant cut off from her family and culture. The Asian mother and extended family, subjected to a horrendous system that forces parents to abandon their baby girls, are hardly given a second thought. Nor do those who congratulate seem to consider the cruelty of forcing the traumatized baby into an extreme and permanent culture change."

You seem to have forgotten the most important factor in all of this, it's not our skin color, it's not who we decide to spend our lives with, it's not what clothes we wear or what religion we practice or how well we speak, it's LOVE. I am a Mother to a beautiful little girl from China, but first & foremost, she's from my heart. I spent the better part of the last two years doing everything in my power to see to it that a little girl without a home, without a mother, would soon have one, forever... a forever family. Sure I may not be asian, but I plan to educate not only my daughter but myself on her culture. I did not make the rules nor do I chose to live in a Communist country where yes, it's cruel that women are forced to have only one child, but keep in mind, that there IS the option of keeping their daughters... they CHOSE not to. They want sons to A. carry on the family name and B. care for them in their old age.
When I am holding my baby girl every night she will know that she has TWO mothers... one right here in America who loves her very much & would move heaven & earth for her, and one in China who loved her over the moon & back to be brave enough to place her in a location where she would be found & cared for until she found her FOREVER FAMILY. Ruby will know where she came from & how she came to be my daughter. I will not consider her my adopted child, but she is in every sense of the word, my daughter. She did not grow under my heart, but rather in it.
I have been a nanny now for over 15 years and am well educated in helping children adjust to new environments. I plan to do everything in my power to make Ruby's transition from Chinese life to American life as smooth as possible, after all, nothing worth having is had easily, it's worked hard for & earned... my child's future is no exception.
I pray every night, as I am a spiritual woman, and I pray not only for Ruby's safety & well being, but that of her Biological mother's as well. Don't you think for a second that myself & everyone in my life, family & friends, don't realize what a struggle it must've been for her birth mother to abandon her... I think of her birth mother every time I think of her. And not that it's any of your business but I am a single mother by choice, not a lesbian, not bisexual, but a straight woman who wanted to be a mother & could not JUSTIFY bringing another child into this world when there are SO MANY ALREADY HERE who need loving homes. There are many people who grow up normal without their birth parents, but rather loving adoptive parents who WANTED THEM very much. Just because people can have sex to make a life & give birth to a child DOES NOT MAKE THEM SUITABLE PARENTS every time, as statistics show. Those of us who CHOSE adoption did so out of LOVE, it's that simple. Also, I'm Italian American and continue to not only be PROUD to be an American but also EMBRACE my Italian heritage as well. Ruby will know THREE different cultures but the most important thing she'll learn is Love. Love, Tolerance, Patience, and Forgiveness. Forgiveness of those too ignorant to see her as a human being who was brought into love, rather than just an 'asian baby girl in tow' of her american parents. I feel sorry for you & hope that more people teach their children Tolerance & Forgiveness... It's a shame that clearly yours did not. Perhaps you should pray for that as well.

-Amy

For those of you who would like to also share your 2Cents with this woman, here is her email: trishcomicmom@earthlink.net

Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Friday, October 14, 2005

FIRM TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS!!!






JUST GOT OFF THE PHONE WITH LINDA WANG FROM MY AGENCY & HERE ARE MY FIRM TRAVEL DATES!!!!!!!!!!!!!! GREAT PRICE ON THE TICKETS TOO!!! Per round trip ticket it was: $1,047.32 each! NOT BAD!!! =)

LEAVE FOR CHINA WED NOV 16TH, 2005

Northwest Airlines

Depart Boston: 8:45am 16th
Arrive Detroit 10:57am 16th

Depart Detroit: 1:45pm 16th
Arrive Tokyo: 5:10pm 17th (China is 12 hours ahead of us)

Depart Tokyo: 6:00pm 17th
Arrive Beijing: 9:15pm 17th


Coming Home Nov 30th, 2005


Depart Guangzhou: 8:30am
Arrive Tokyo: 1:40pm

Depart Tokyo: 3:45pm
Arrive Detroit: 1:20pm

Depart Detroit: 5:05pm
Arrive Boston: 6:56pm

OMG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IT'S GETTING SO REAL NOW~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Silence & Cake...

Ahhhhhhhh soooooo nice... my apartment is peaceful & quiet except for the sound of Ebenezer's breathing as his nose is stuffed out the bottom opening of the window. (he loves the fresh crisp fall air) My ceiling fan is on & I have a little set of wind chimes that sounds quite similar to 'pixie dust' being sprinkled everywhere, so it's just such a nice thing to be here alone & enjoy this quiet, and it just occured to me... soon, quiet will be a rare occurance. Don't get me wrong, I am SO READY for Ruby to be here with me for the rest of forever, but these moments of quiet time are going to be but a faint memory, soon to be replaced by fun loud silly times with my beautiful baby girl... stories at all hours of the night if she can't sleep, fancy dress up tea parties with me & all her stuffed animal friends, songs sung much too high, much too loud and always off key, but songs sung between mother & daughter, so they'll be perfect in every way. You know, it just occured to me that every good tea party has one key element... THE CAKE! So I just put two small white cakes into the oven to bake & will properly ice them later with icing that I will make from scratch & maybe I'll even decorate them all fancy since I have all the tools to do so & more importantly, KNOW HOW since taking that cake decorating class!!! I'll decorate one for Ruby & one for Isabella... who knows, if they come out looking adorable I'll take pics & post them here for all to see, if they come out like CRAP, I'll cut them, eat them with my tea & take a picture of my empty plate!!! hahaha All I know is pretty soon my house is going to smell AMAZING and that's a good thing! Well, I must 'off' now, I have a phone call to get to... later!

-Amy

Thursday, October 13, 2005

A picture's worth a thousand words...


... So, what thousand words come to mind when you see THIS picture? ;)
Sorry, just feeling saucy tonight! hehehe

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

PS...




PS. Ok, so I know there's only so many pictures you can see of a newborn, but when it's your little brother who is the father of this amazing new life & you have fond memories of 'said daddy' eating MUD PIES & being an all around STINKER as kids... to see a moment like this, it makes you proud to be his big sister... I love you Adam.

Proud Auntie holding Isabella for the 1ST TIME!!!




Ok, so my niece is a lil'stinker... last night I stayed at the hospital RIGHT UP UNTIL 10PM and do you know that THAT LITTLE WEASEL DECIDED TO MAKE HER APPEARENCE ONLY 14 MINUTES AFTER I LEFT?!@$#%^$ Ok, so I went today & she and I had a nice long 'Auntie & Isabella' chat... I don't think she'll remember most of it but I plan on having it again someday when she's old enough to actually respond! ;) But, she's SO GOSH DARN CUTE that I couldn't resist posting more pics of her tonight... ENJOY EVERYONE! THIS AUNTIE IS IN LOVE!

-Amy

Isabella Grace...








Ruby In Her Own Time...
Announcing MY NIECE ISABELLA GRACE!!!

Born: October 11th, 2005
Time: 10:14pm
Length: 19 inches
Weight: 7 lbs 1 oz
C-Section

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

CAN WE SAY TA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...
WOOOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Below is a letter I received in my email just now after having spent HOURS at the hospital waiting for my niece to be born, and so far, nothing yet but obviously I'll be sure to post an announcement here & pics as well but for RIGHT NOW, the GOOD NEWS IS I HAVE TRAVEL APPROVAL AND A CONSULATE DATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here's the letter:

Dear families,

Your patience has been greatly appreciated as we awaited travel approval. We received travel approvals and have a confirmed Consulate appt. for each of you.

Our Faith associate Eric called the Consulate last night and was able to secure the earliest date possible. Your Consulate appts. will be on Monday, Nov. 28, 2005 at 10:30am. The Consulate initially told Eric they had nothing in November and it would be December, but as some of you have fingerprint expirations in early Dec. he was able to convince them to take you on the 28. I know it may be a few weeks longer than you were hoping but it was the very earliest date we could secure.

For families whose fingerprint expire after Nov 29, 2005 you do not need to be re-printed at this time.

As far as travel is concerned this means you will most likely depart for China on one of the following dates:

If you are traveling to Beijing for the short 2 day tour you will most likely depart on Wed. Nov 16.
If you are not adding Beijing you will most likely depart on Friday, Nov 18.

You will most likely fly out of Guangzhou on Wed. Nov. 30. Your child's visa will be ready at 4pm on Tuesday, Nov 29.

I say most likely because of flight availability, please know this is a typical schedule and dates can vary sometimes.

Linda will need a day or two to research flight availibility before she calls you to discuss your options. Please give her a few days to organize your group so she is not flooded with calls before she has a chance to look into flights.

I know this is welcome news for you all, we look forward to organizing your travel and talking with you in the next few days.

Have a wonderful evening!

MY NIECE IS ON HER WAY!!!





(The above is chinese characters for 'Isabella' (top) and 'Grace' (bottom) hehehe
My brother woke up this morning to a very pregnant wife with very big contractions approx 2 min's apart, so off to the hospital they went & I'm about to go join them!!! BABY ISABELLA GRACE IS ON HER WAY TODAY & I FINALLY GET TO BE AN AUNTIE TO MY BROTHER'S CHILD!!!!!!!!! Took the boy only 30 years but here we go!!! ISABELLA GRACE AUNTIE CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, October 09, 2005

OVER THE MOON IN LOVE!!!

Ruby In Her Own Time...



I have NO CHOICE but to post these precious pictures one more time...
I am simply OVER THE MOON IN LOVE with this beautiful little girl that my heart's about to SERIOUSLY BURST!!!

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Topsfield Fair w/a slight chance of RAIN!


Ruby In Her Own Time...



Ok, so I went to the Topsfield Fair today, a yearly event that everyone local to the north shore religiously attends regardless of weather, myself no exception. I went with my friend Ben & we had fun until we realized that we were clearly more soaked walking around that fair than we would've been had we just gotten out of a shower! So, since the rides weren't open & the games weren't open, we just puttered around the rest of the events & the Trade Building where I bought some gifts for friends & Ruby as well. I got some apple cider to bring home & some cider donuts & a few T shirts etc. Nothing fancy but still a good time regardless of the rain. I am happy however to be home & dry & toasty now. Ben is gonna crash here tonight & watch a movie & I'll probably read more in my book & chat online until it's time for bed.

Still no word on TA yet but hopefully this coming week since last week China had the whole week off for Holiday. *keep your fingers crossed for me k?*

That's all for now, more later!!

-Amy

Friday, October 07, 2005

Out of the mouths of babes...

When is it that we as adults lost that ability to be painfully honest & just say what we were thinking without worrying about what that was exactly? Somewhere along the line we decided that it was better to sugar coat things & tell half-truths to spare feelings & make those around you content. I just don't get it... there's something to be learned through the innocence of kids, it's a pure sort of honesty that you can't get mad at regardless of the words that come out. Things that pure are beautiful in every way, period.


WHY GOD MADE MOMS
Answers given by 2nd grade school children.

Why did God make mothers?
1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
2. Mostly to clean the house.
3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?
1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
3. God made my Mom just the same like he made me. He Just used biggerparts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?
1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice inthe world and one dab of mean.
2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other Mom?
1. We're related.
2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
1. My Mom has always been my Mom and none of that other stuff.
2. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be prettybossy.
3. They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
1. His last name.
2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunkon beer?
3. Does he make at least $800 a year?
4. Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my Mom eats a lot.
2. She got too old to do anything else with him.
3. My grandma says that Mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goofball.
2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
3. I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Moms and Dads?
1. Moms work at work and work at home, & Dads just go to work at work.
2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.
3 . Dads are taller & stronger, but Moms have all the real power 'causethat's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friend's.
4. Moms have magic since they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
1. Mothers don't do spare time.
2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom perfect?
1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean. I'd get ridof that.
2. I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it and not me.
3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on her backof her head.

PRICELESS!!!

Thursday, October 06, 2005

GOD GRANT ME STRENGTH...



Ruby In Her Own Time...

Ok, it's thursday, I've been here since sunday night and I am EXHAUSTED! Physically, mentally, emotionally, you name it! In all my 15 years of being a nanny to many different types of children I have never ONCE encountered what I'm dealing with here... the money I'm making this week is nice but trust me, I earned that the second day after finding the younger of the two playing in his own shit on the bedroom floor's WHITE CARPET... it gets worse but I won't frighten any of you with the details. I'm spent, worn out, exhausted, dizzy and need to go HOME. Tomorrow WILL NOT COME FAST ENOUGH! I love being a Nanny, it's my reason for being on this planet, HOWEVER... note to self, even the BEST MOST LOVED JOBS have HUGE SPEED BUMPS EVENTUALLY, EVEN AFTER 15 YEARS OF WONDERFUL CHILDREN, there is bound to be the 'shitartist' in the group... I have encountered mine. This same child who'se artistic ability is curently limited to 'shit' as it's medium, is also very skilled at kicking, screaming, biting and basically 'melting down' like his life is about to come to a crashing hault. I have had to muster up EVER LAST OUNCE OF KNOWLEDGE & EXPERIENCE & NANNY LOVE TACTICS to handle said child & seriously, if tomrrow wasn't friday, I'd be throwing myself in front of a BUS!

I did this as a favor to my old boss... whose kids were a DREAM compared to the two I'm watching now. ( these boys are their cousins ) I did the favor for two reasons...1. I saw a desperate mother in need of some help & me on my high' nanny horse' knew that I'd be perfect for the job & to help her out in a pinch as it's not always an available opportunity but just so happened to work out that way, so I agreed to help her... and 2. because the money will help me while in China.
If I could go back & change my mind about this week, trust me I would in a heart beat, but life doesn't work that way. I've made my decision, my 'bed' if you will, and I'll continue to suck it up & lie in 'said' bed until TOMORROW but trust me, the minute I"m free to go, you'll be able to see the SMOKE TRAIL FROM MY EXHAUST FROM WHATEVER STATE IT IS YOU LIVE IN!

No more nannying unti next year, this 'soon to be mom' NEEDS A BREAK until it's time to get on a plane & go get my Ruby Cate. I will be USELESS to her if I do anything other than that.

I love you Ruby, Momma promises to just relax & be fully recharged when I see your sweet face & those amazing cheeks for the first time in China!

XOXOXOXOXO

-Momma

(who is more tired than I ever thought I could be)

ps. On a side note... Stress is NOT conducive to a healthy lifestyle when one is living with MS... the moral of this story? Never EVER Nanny for someone as a 'favor' again if you don't first KNOW THE CHILDREN WELL ENOUGH BEFORE HAND TO KNOW THAT THEY'RE NOT GOING TO SEND YOU OVER THE PERVERBIAL EDGE!

Monday, October 03, 2005

Amy's Apple Crisp...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Amy's Apple Crisp

8-12 apples, peeled & sliced
1 cup flour
1/2 cup brown sugar
1/2 cup granulated sugar
1 stick softened butter
1 tsp allspice
2 tsp ground cinnamon
1 cup Simply Granola snack crunch with raisins ( or 4 to 5 packets of any instant flavor oatmeal with raisins or almonds or whatever type is your favorite)

Preheat oven to 375
Generously butter the bottom & sides of a large rectangular pyrex glass baker, & set to the side.
Peel & cut into slices the apples & spread around the bottom of pyrex baker spreading out evenly.
Mix remaining dry ingredients in a large bowl & then add the softened butter & mix with hands until all crumbly.
Crumble mixture all over the top of the sliced apples & make sure to cover the apples well.
Bake at 375 for 35 to 40 min.

Serve warm with either whipped cream or (my favorite) vanilla ice cream on top!

ENJOY!!!


I post this recipe because as we speak I have one in the oven for the boys & their father tonight. We tried to go apple picking this morning, got lost on our way to amesbury & ended up just buying some fresh apples at Tendercrop farms in newbury & making the crisp all together here at home. Both Henry & Holden are very good helpers & wonderful BAKERS! =)

More later. =)

-Me

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Off to Newbury, MA for the week...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

So I'm off to Newbury, MA for the week, I leave tonight & spend the week until friday & come back home friday night. I'm doing a favor for someone close to my kid's family. Emma, Abi (both 4 today HAPPY BIRTHDAY GIRLS!!!) & Sam (2 1/2) have two cousins, Henry (5) & Holden (2), and their mother had to recently fire her newly hired Nanny for fear that her children were in physical danger, SO, that said, and me being unemployed at the moment, I was happy to offer to help out in a pinch. They have a beautiful house & a gorgeous guest room and it's right down the street from Tendercrop Farm!! (Best sugar cookies on the PLANET!) I will try to blog from there at little bit & I do have access to a 'guest' computer but I'll be busy most of the time with the boys as we have lots of fun things planned to do, like carve pumpkins, go to the petting zoo, read a ton of books & other things like that. I will log on every night to check email obviously but my blogging may not be every night like I'm used to doing. You all know how to reach me, and if you don't, here's my email: mom4ruby@yahoo.com and my cell will be with me the whole week so feel free to call & say hi! =)

I hope that my TA arrives soon, maybe this week while I'm busy so I don't have time to wonder if this day is the day or this day is the day, I'll just keep busy & get the TA call & be surprised & happy, that's the plan. =)

Blog soon, everyone have a great week!

-Amy

Saturday, October 01, 2005

Ok so I'm crazy...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

I'm un-officially packed for China. I just finished putting the last of my things in my suitcase, both mine & Ruby's and I did what my agency said to do: When I think I've packed as little as I can pack, open up the luggage & take half out cuz I won't need it. I did that TWICE! And now I'm finally done, because quite honestly if I take one more thing out of there I'm gonna be bummin once in China. Below is pretty much what I have managed to put into one suitcase...

Amy: one pair of jeans packed one I'll wear onto the plane, 8 pairs underwear (9 if you count the pair I'll wear that day), 1 bra packed, one I'll wear on the plane, various T shirts all different colors & two fancy tops for official appointments while in China. I'll wear my Merrel's (shoes) on the plane & they're the only pair I'm bringing, 1 black bathingsuit and one black zip up hooded light cotton jacket I'll wear over.
For Ruby I have: 2 playtex bottles with brand new pack of liners(over 150 of them) & extra nipples, 2 sippy cups, 2 travel temp sensative spoons in their own little carrying case, gerber liquilyte powder packs for making by the bottle/sippy full, A TON OF THEM! ( Thanks Karen for the advice ) 2 1lb containers of soy formula with iron (pediatrician recommended) a SHITLOAD of diapers & a brand new package of wipes, 1 toasty soft blanket, 2 small toys for her to play with, gerber fruit/veggie puffs 6 containers of assorted flavors, two pairs of 12mo. jeans assorted cute tops, her OFFICIAL RED SOX JERSEY, 1 pair of shoes & 1 pair of sandals, lots of colored socks like maybe a dozen of them, 2 pairs of tights ( one heavy & one light) 2 fancy dresses for official appointments while in China, dozen white onsies, dozen cute hair ribbon clips in every color under the sun for that beautiful head of hair she's got, and three different hand knit sweaters to wear if it's chilly, they look more like cardigans & aren't over the head types, TONS of infant medication 'just in case', shampoo & 'no more tangles' spray, a comb & a brush, etc...

Carry on: a book to read, my cell phone, my glasses case, my important 'info & documents', my camcorder & accessories, outlet converter for China, pen & journal for writing in & 'mommy drugs' for MS & motion sickness, CAN'T WAIT!

I'm curious though, for those of you reading this who've already traveled, is there a weight limit to your luggage & if so, what is it & what is the cost per pound if you go over? My mother seems to think there's a 40lb limit to each persons luggage & mine currently weighs 55lbs. Christ they're gonna think I've got a dead body in there, AND KEEP IN MIND THIS IS AFTER I TOOK HALF OF IT OUT!! Everything in there I MUST bring & I'm nervous to remove one more thing from that luggage for fear of not having what I need while there. Two & a half weeks is a long time to be away from the 'comforts of home' so as long as I have 'Ruby comforts' I'll feel ok!

Anyhoo, I gotta go visit my friend & Travel mate, Ronayne to go over trip stuff so I'll post more later... any ideas as to things I may have missed or things I could do without, please by all means, FEEL FREE TO COMMENT & SHARE YOUR WISDOM! ;)

Thanks!!!!!!!

-Amy

CHINA HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Top 5 things I HATE about having MS...

1. Having it at all... I could've gotten measels or mumps or mono but NO I get MS... fun fun fun.
2. All the shots... 3x a week for the rest of forever... forever is a pretty long time, don'tcha think?
3. Sudden hot & cold spells, like right now as I type this I feel like I'm frozen solid & it's barely begun Fall weather, which is my FAVORITE!Plus I just HATE being cold.
4. No more Hot tubs or Sauna's/steam rooms etc... not that I was in them on a regular basis but once in a while it's nice to hop into my friends thermospa... not so much anymore.
5. The uncertainty of this disease... one day I'm fine, the next I feel useless... I know it's similar to 'real life' but it's kinda like 'real life' with a great big headache that, no matter how much tylenol or excedrin you take, it never completely goes away & you KNOW it'll always come back eventually.

I know it's retarded for me to use my blog as a public bitching 'soap box' but tonight, it's just how I feel. Sorry everyone...

Pray for a fast TA (Travel Approval) so I can get my ass on a plane & finally hold my baby girl in my arms & never NEVER let her go!

G'night...

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Before bed thoughts...



Ruby In Her Own Time...

Life is a funny thing... things happen that you didn't expect nor ask for, yet they still happen & you find yourself coming face to face with challenges that you'd rather not have to deal with. But the reality is, sometimes you don't have a damn choice, so you deal. The question is, do you just do the least amount of 'dealing' to just get the shit over with & forgotten, OR... do you actually take the time to meet the challenge head on & deal with it in the appropriate way, regardless of it's difficulty level? See, I believe that it's these tough times, the ones we would rather run from but make ourselves stand up to, that make us who we our. It's our mistakes that we learn from that help build character... give us a sense of pride, of belonging. It's never easy to do what's right, we all know that the easy way out is always the 'wrong' way but it's what we usually think of first before we're faced with that inevitable 'line' where we either buck up & face the music OR bow out & run with our tail between our legs. I've always been one to face shit head on... maybe not right away, sometimes I'll admit that it takes a few test runs for me to get my engine revved up enough to do right by my convictions, but in the end I always do what's right, however hard it may be at the time.
My wish for Ruby is that she too will grow to have integrity, honor, pride, and a feeling of belonging to something more than just herself... something more than just her bedroom in this apartment in this house in Beverly. I hope she sees the world for the 'bigger picture' that it is & embraces all that it has to offer her. I hope she grows up to be a decent & kind human being who is selfless in her actions & kind in her words. If I do my job as her mother right, she'll be all those things & more, and I... I will be the most proud mother on the planet. I already am, because my little girl is a fighter. From being born to a biological mother who loved her enough to know that the better path for her to take would be one other than with her, to being found at 2 days old on the front entrance of a salvage center, to finding her way, over the next year of her life, into my heart & into my family. I am blessed, I am loved and so is my little girl. Every mistake I've ever made, ever bump in the road led me to where I currently stand. Past situations that broke my heart, they were just northern stars pointing to where I needed to be, and that's right here. Completely in love with a little girl I've never had the pleasure of holding or hugging or kissing, but that's all about to change soon. Ruby, if I promise you one thing in this life, it is that you will know you are loved. Always & forever, pure & honest, lasting & selfless, love that spans the globe even as I type this, my little girl, my beautiful birthday princess, Momma loves you and can't imagine my world without you in it. I am coming soon my love... very soon.

-Momma
xoxoxoxoxo

Shower Pictures...

Ruby In Her Own Time...

Scroll down for pictures of my shower FINALLY! Rather than add them to a new post, I just edited my original "Baby Shower Sunday" post & put them there... enjoy! =)

-Me

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Morning tea & sugar cookies...

MMMMMMMMMMmmmmmmmm Man do I love BLACK TEA!!!!!!!! Nothing better on a cool fall morning than a big steaming cup of my PG Tips tea & a big round sugar cookie from SCRATCH! Well, not from my kitchen mind you, from this fantastic place in Newbury called 'Tendercrop Farm'... OMG SO GOOD! I bought sugar cookies for myself, oatmeal raisin for my parents & chocolate chip for my brother & his very pregnant wife. Ebenezer is sitting at the foot of my bed, STARING at my cookie thinking " save me the last bite Momma... " I always do & he knows it! ;)
So, monday my sister inlaw & I went out shopping, had to return a few things to BabiesRus and get some things that I still needed for my upcoming trip. We also went to this little store in Danvers called 'The Learning Tree' and who should I run into but my 2nd grade teacher, MRS. BROWN! I nearly fell OVER! She remembered me immediately & asked about Adam as well, it was funny. She's a wonderful lady & was THRILLED to learn about Ruby ! I bought some books while there & also bought more books earlier in the day at Barnes & Noble MAN I LOVE BOOKS! Ruby's room is PACKED with books and I plan to read to her all the time! Hell, as it is I go in there at night & curl up on the floor with Ebenezer & read them to him. =) I don't know how much of it he understands but I DO know that he loves the time that we spend cuddling, regardless if I'm reading something out loud or not, he just knows that it's 'special' time just for him & his Momma. =)
Well, as far as my China goes, I'm still waiting on my TA to arrive, and it'll get here when it gets here. If there's one thing I've learned through this adoption process, it's that my Ruby does things 'IN HER OWN TIME' for sure, so it'll get here when it gets here & not a minute sooner. I can live with that. She waited until her birthday to show me her precious face & I wouldn't have wanted it any other way, I just am happy, bottom line.

I'm gonna go shower & head out to do a few errands but I'll blog more later I'm sure. Everyone have a great day!

-Me