Why is it that I ALWAYS wait till the last minute...

... to get one of THESE every year!?!??

Yes, I did order that exact one &
you bet your ASS I'm totally PSYCHED for it to GET HERE!

Now, I'm good to go for ~2007~...
*got my pj's ready!*
'smile'
hehehe

Let's ring in the new year CHINA STYLE!

Merry Christmas...

...sleep well baby, Santa's on his way!

(& while I know you asked for bristle blocks this year,
I'm pretty sure Bear asked if he could bring you a pillow- can ya BLAME HIM?!)

I'm ok, you're ok...

...is the theme of my Christmas Eve this year.

First, let me start this post by telling you all that I'm feeling a little under the weather,
nothing major, but just enough to warrant a little extra sleep this morning and my daughter KNOWS when I don't feel so good. I don't know how she knows, but she does.

Today, I woke up at 9am.
NINE A.M.!
Upon realizing the time, I panicked & jumped up to grab the monitor
& listen in on what my girl ( who is typically up at 8am) was doing
after having been lying awake for over an hour alone in her crib...

...what do I hear?
*talking*
"Uhh Vooo Bear... Hi! No, red bwanket, puhpull one, Momma?
No, shhh Bear... nigh nigh shh...etc"

I smiled from ear to ear, how amazing is my little girl that she KNOWS that if I haven't come in to get her yet, there is a reason & she's PATIENT & waits because she KNOWS I will come in as soon as I'm up. UNBELIEVABLE!

I jump up, throw my sweats on, my hair up in a clip & grab my glasses & tip toe into her room...

...I turn the corner & she catches sight of me & says:

"Hiiiiii Momma!"
I said: "Hiiii Baby! How are you? Did you sleep well?"

She thinks for a moment & says;
"Momma, you ok?"
I about near fell over.

"Awwww honey, I'm ok baby, Momma was just tired today. Are you ok?"

her reply?

"I ok Momma... *smile*"

MAN I LOVE THIS KID!!!!!!!!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

The Nose Picker

Vs.

The Messy Hair Giggler...

*grin*

(I'm pretty sure it's going to be a close match!)

Do Not Disturb...

...a girl & her bear,

ESPECIALLY when SMOOCHING!
(& yes she ALWAYS makes that face when making out with her buddy)
hehehe
So damn cute...

So Hard To Say...

...goodbye.

Yes, sadly, it's time to say 'goodbye' to my beloved & loyal 'sippy'
that I've had LITERALLY for over 5 years.
(feel free to laugh now if you'd like...)

*sigh*


See that sippy on the left? That's my old one, it was with me when I was first diagnosed with MS, it was with me for that long trip to CHINA, it kept me hydrated WHILE IN CHINA
and was Ruby's FIRST SIPPY as she would NOT take any of the ones I had brought for her... she only wanted to 'share Momma's'.
But, as you can see... mine is old, faded & finally, just recently, suffered a small 'crack' right under where my black hair elastic always sits snug ready for use.
(hair in my face pisses me off so you can never be ready enough
to pop that shit up in a pony tail, right?!)
When I first bought it, it looked JUST LIKE THE BRIGHTLY COLORED ONE ON THE RIGHT!
(no lie)
But alas, all good things must come to an end, this is also true with sippy's.

My NEWEST FRIEND (<--- click there & then click on the SUN for "summer stuff" & scroll through the photos till you come to the 22oz Freezer Bottles/style #020) comes with brothers & sisters this time...
...a gift from my friend & ex boyfriend, Scott.

He asked me what I wanted for Christmas & I told him, nothing... that I didn't need anything.
Then, the crack happened & I was so beside myself with everything that's going on in my life that I figured, "great, what a way to get kicked when you're down..."
I know, it's JUST A SIPPY, but when you drink as much water as I do & like the convenience of having it ready & available to you in a NON SPILL way,
IT'S WORTH IT'S WEIGHT IN GOLD, FRANKLY!

So, goodbye old friend, you've served me well & now that I've said a proper 'goodbye',
I can finally lay you to rest in the recycle bin.
May you be turned into another sippy to bring happiness to
someone else for many more years to come...

-End-

Patiently Waiting...

...as Bear's often do.

Sliding with Momma is something I LOVE to DO!


(Actually, that's a lie... she CHUCKS ME down that thing EVERY TIME
& I land NOSE DOWN IN THE DIRT! We just had to say that other stuff, so that it would 'rhyme'. Rhyme/schmyme... NEXT TIME LET'S PAINT INSTEAD!
-Bear)

Unbelievable...

...that I can live in a place where THIS article's title is ACCEPTABLE?

I reside in one of the most liberal BLUEST states in the nation,
yet THIS CRAP has to make it's way into my daily paper.

I understand that the article is speaking out against China's new regulations concerning International Adoption, but the powers that be here at the Boston Herald,
should have chosen more wisely their wording for that title, period.

I mean, what happened? Didn't we put ourselves on the map for being the FIRST STATE TO LEGALIZE GAY MARRIAGE? I was never more proud that day of the place I called 'home'.


Sure, ok so you can be gay & get married, rock on, what's next, oops, be careful, before you know it you'll be told you can't be fat & ugly & gay & marry?
And forget about adopting from china if you fall under those categories...
...perish the thought!

And WHOSE TO SAY WHAT'S FAT & UGLY ANYWAY?
Society's view on beauty is what is the UGLIEST OF ALL in my eyes!
Sure, I'm a bigger woman than most, but you know what, there are TONS of guys who FIND ME PERFECTLY SEXY AS IS!
Who's to say what is BEAUTY & what ISN'T?
Sadly, in the case of china, if Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, than China being the beholder, us fatty's are out of luck, and God forbid if you have a repaired cleft lip etc,
I COULD PUKE I'M SO ANGRY AT THIS!

The article is basically SLAMMING the CCAI'S new rules regarding INTERNATIONAL ADOPTION but COMPLETELY FAILS TO SEE THAT THEY'RE ONLY PERPETUATING THE UGLINESS BY USING THEIR TITLE:

"FAT AND UGLY CAN'T ADOPT FROM CHINA"

You know, far be it from me to tell them how to do their job, but...
couldn't it have said "New CCAI rules leave many heartbroken..."
or even
"Love & ability to provide may not prove enough to new Chinese standards..."
etc...

ANYTHING BUT FAT & UGLY CAN'T ADOPT FROM CHINA!

Shame on you Boston Herald, shame on anyone who had a hand in printing such a title that you thought for even a SECOND that that was ACCEPTABLE!

(Because it WASN'T!)

And don't even get me started on the other issue at hand...

...by these new regulations & restrictions, China is essentially saying that me, ME
that I'm unfit to parent my child, my Ruby.

And that, to me, just is NOT ok in my book.


I'll tell you one thing, in a year or two, when Ruby is able to articulate her feelings with words, I'll be sure to ask her if she feels I'm a fit mother, and share with you all, her answer.
But for right now, I'm pretty sure all the hugs & kisses & 'uh voo Momma's' speak for themselves, this 'single fat momma' is doing A'Ok as far as Ruby is concerned.

My heart now breaks for the many families who will
not be able to adopt under these new guidelines.
I pray that they will all find their way to their children-
some way,
some how,
some form
& with Godspeed.

The Smell of Matty...

...is something I just absolutely LOVE!

Whenever I see him,
whether it's for a quick minute or a lengthy visit,
he leaves his scent on me.
We hug,
there it is...
We kiss,
his scent is on me to stay...

Just like most of you all,
I'm sure you don't just wear jeans 'once'...
...I know I don't.

The same goes for winter sweaters,
although those are only a 'twice worn' option
where as the jeans are clearly more of a 3 or 4 time option.

I was at Matty's last night, visiting him & his family while Ruby slept
& Nonno was on 'monitor patrol',
and from all the hugs & kisses I received & gave,
Matty is now here with me this very second,
if not in the physical sense,
definitely in the yummy scents!

So, as I slipped my favorite cranberry sweater over my head this morning,
there it was...

...my Matty.
To just sit there & inhale him, in that moment...

...pure heaven.

His smell is around me,
on me,
near me,
part of me.

I feel like he's wrapped himself around me for the worlds best & longest hug ever.
That is a gift in & of itself...
...lest we take into account the fact that he also gave Ruby & me a Christmas gift as well.
I'm just feeling very blessed tonight...

...blessed & a little lucky too.

At night when Ruby & I give thanks for the people in our lives who make us smile,
Matty is always at the top of that list.
Thank you, Matty.
We love you, always.

-Us

Tuesdays with Uncle Steve... (Tues, Dec 19th, 2006)

...CHEDDAR BROCCOLI SOUP WITH BACON, CARROTS & ONIONS!

Oh.
My.
God.

THIS SOUP ROCKED!




And NO I did NOT make it, OUR VERY OWN UNCLE STEVE CONJURED UP THIS FIERCE BOWL OF HEAVEN & TO PROVE IT ALL TO YOU, ALLOW US TO SHARE IN THE JOY THAT IS, EVIL CHEEZE YUMMY VEGGIE SOUP!

Ingredients:

1 tablespoon butter, melted
1/2 medium onion, chopped
1/4 cup melted butter
1/4 cup flour
2 cups half-and-half
2 cups chicken stock or bouillon
1 package frozen chopped broccoli

1 cup carrots, julienned
salt and pepper to taste
4 strips thick cut bacon, chopped

8 ounces grated sharp cheddar

Directions:
Saute onion in butter. Set aside. Cook bacon and set aside as well. Cook melted butter and flour using a whisk over medium heat for 3-5 minutes. Stir constantly and slowly add the half-and-half (this is called making a roux). Add the chicken stock whisking all the time. Simmer for 20 minutes.

Add the broccoli, carrots and onions. Cook over low heat until the veggies are tender for 20-25 minutes. Add salt, pepper, and bacon. The soup should be thickened by now. Pour in batches into blender and puree (I don't have a blender so I used a hand mixer and mixed it right in the pot on high speed). Return to pot over low heat and add the grated cheese; stir until well blended.



Serve with a CRAPTON of HOT BUTTERED BISCUITS AND OH MY GRAVY YOU'VE GOT YOURSELF ONE HELL OF A DINNER!!!!!!!!!!

*thud* sorry, my fat ass just fell out of the chair, I ate too much!



hehehehe

Concentration + Dedication =

...Rainbow Creation.

Change Of Plans...

...blog goes private as of RIGHT NOW!

I am tired of 'waiting' to blog especially when I'm losing my ever loving MIND & needing to VENT and this is my one outlet, so fuck it, private as of YESTERDAY if I can manage it right?

So, where were we? Now that I know my audience & know that certain people won't be peeking in to judge the fuck out of me, all bets are off & welcome to the new R.I.H.O.T. ...
It's bound to be one hell of a ride!

Ok so here's the status on my life currently... my job is nonexistent when the bitch whose kids I was watching thought it would be ok to just call me on a Sunday night at 7pm to tell me that she was putting her kids 'elsewhere' where it was cheaper.
CHEAPER?
Yet, this woman maintains a nice new car, a HORSE she boards at a local stable AND is addicted to ebay & buys such items as 'hand crafted horses' (aka: UGLY FUCKING DUST COLLECTORS) etc.

Ok, you wanna cut corners, go for it but keep in mind that karma is a funny thing... someday when your son is in Juve & your daughter comes home knocked up at 12, remember back to the days when you had options of what to cut corners on in life & that you chose to put them in a daycare that only charged you 80 bucks a kid a week.

You know the old saying,
"You get what you pay for?"

Man, the part of this that pisses me off the most is that I gave this woman SERIOUS BREAKS when it came to how I normally run things. After 16 years of doing this, I can command a higher per hour pay, for her, I didn't insist on that.
With all my years of doing my job & doing it WELL, I can expect a certain amount of respect from those whose kids I'm HELPING TO RAISE!
With her, I never got that.

HIRED FUCKING HELP is all I am ever looked at & that is what burns my hide!

You know, believe it or not it's A TOUGH JOB raising a child, IT'S EVEN TOUGHER WHEN YOU'RE TRYING TO RAISE SOMEONE ELSE'S!

So, fuck her, & her 'Merry Christmas' gift to me at the last goddamn second.
I want all of you to sit for a minute & think how you'd feel & how your life would suddenly change if you got that same 7pm Sunday night call like I did regarding your job?

Nothing Merry about Christmas this year, at least from a monetary standpoint.

As far as my daughter is concerned, every day I realize that I am BEYOND BLESSED to call myself her mother.
Every day I know in my heart that God is looking out for us & I hold out hope that he is also aware of my employment situation & the fact that as I type this, my parents are out grocery shopping & I, well I am not joining them as I normally do because there isn't money to spare this week. Now don't get me wrong, I HAVE FOOD IN THE HOUSE, I typically tend to buy like it's the end of the world & ALWAYS have an OVERSTOCKED pantry, HOWEVER, it's just a natural chain of events that happens every weekend & this weekend, it's happening without me because some anorexic blond bitch thought it would be a wonderful idea to leave the woman who has cared for her kids since may, loved her kids since may, changed her kids shitty diapers TIMES TWO since may, bent over BACKWARDS FOR HER SINCE MAY, to give her the wonderful Christmas Surprise of UNEMPLOYMENT!

Ok, now that I've spewed, I feel slightly better but feeling better does not put food on my table nor does it pay my god damned bills.

Oh, dear lord of KARMA, see to it that things come full circle, I ask this in your name...

A-FUCKING'MEN!

We now return you to your regularly scheduled blog...

Losing my mind...

...one post at a time!

So, I've been blogging this whole time, just merely saving everything as 'drafts' until such time as we're officially private & only the following 'few' will be privy to my thoughts & such.

It's insane because writing for me is a part of my everyday life, so to NOT blog...?
...until I go private? Is!
FUCKING!
KILLING!
ME!

*yes people, I just swore... GET OVER IT!*

So, I'm breaking the rules just a little bit, just tonight, just this once...
(after all, they're my rules, I'm allowed to bend/break them, right?)
~myblog,myrules~

THAT SAID, I am seriously considering becoming a nun.
Oh, you heard that right... only, not so much a NUN but more like a
NONE!
As in, NONE OF THIS & NONE OF THAT!
(you hear me Matty?)

Seriously, when did being the 'understanding sweet 'friend' EVER get anyone anywhere?

It didn't.

That's exactly why I'm pissy tonight.

The day started out enjoyable enough...

...breakfast with my daughter & my mom, good stuff.
Then a shower for me & a bath for miss Rubes...

...teeth brushed & dressed & out the door to the park to visit Ruby's beloved;

"GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!"

So we head to the park, Ruby sees the slides & GOES APESHIT!
*no lie*

Starts immediately chanting;
"GEEN SWIDE MOMMA! GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!"

I smile & say, "Yes baby, there are the slides but they're blue & yellow, not green honey."
(her first slide ever visited was green, thus the constant reminder of 'GEEN SWIDE')
I digress...

So, up & on the slide she goes, Bear in tow... and SWOOOSH, down goes Bear
(while Ruby is maniacally laughing as she chucks him head first,
yes, I know it's harsh, but SO the truth- tough love perhpas? who knows...)

All the while she hasn't stopped chanting;

"GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!"
My mind snapped;
"Ruby, sweetie, this slide is BLUE, and that one is YELLOW, ok baby? There's no GREEN slide here today luvie'bug... that slide is at home in our park. We're at the other park, remember?"

(It's funny, you know for an experienced Nanny you'd think that I'd KNOW BETTER THAN TO TRY TO REASON WITH A TWO YEAR OLD! OY VEY!)

Again, more digressing...

So, she says; "NO MOMMA! GEEN SWIDE GEEN SWIDE!"

I hold her hand & look into her beautiful almond shaped eyes that are just the color of charcoal, & say; "Baby, what color is this?"
(pointing to the blue slide)
"Balooo Momma!"
"Good Girl Ruby!" I say, and then pointing to the other (yellow) slide, ask again;
"And what color is THIS slide Ruby?"
"Lellow Momma, Lellow Swide"
"GOOD GIRL SWEETIE! THAT'S RIGHT, BLUE AND YELLOW! Now, what slide would you like to go down now baby?"

3.......








2.............










1...............






*GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!*

*sigh, can't say I didn't try*

So, after that enjoyable time at the park, we come home.
Lunch for us both, quality bonding Momma & Ruby time complete with COLORS FLASH CARDS WITH MUCH EMPHASIS ON 'GREEN, BLUE & YELLOW',
& then a nappy for Miss Cheeks & some rest for Momma.

Only, I didn't rest, my mind raced, WHY?
Cuz it's hard to rest when your sweater smells like your Matty.
Like he's here next to me, wrapped around me in the most fantastic embrace, like a lot of things I would enjoy experiencing rather than merely picturing in my mind's eye...
...only I can't.

I can't, why you ask?
Because he's not here, he's at work & I'm home alone with only his scent to keep me wound up until the next time I see him again.
Lame, I know but man oh man there is just something about a mans cologne.
And Matty, well he doesn't smell good because of the cologne, but the cologne smells good because of HIM!
(make sense?)

So tonight he was supposed to come over to watch 'Firewall' with me...
(excellent movie btw, rent it if you haven't & don't order a pizza, trust me)

So he was all psyched, but as always, psyched does not a 'date' make...

...phone rings:

"Aim, hey ya, it's Matty, listen, change of plans..."

(hmmm, where have I heard this familiar tune before? Wait... lemme go check my cd's, cuz I KNOW I know this one...)

Long & short of it is, his friend Jack called him, needed his help SPECIFICALLY for whatever it was he was jonesin' about, and off he went like the good 'friend' he is.

But here's what I wanna know, where is it written that he can only be a 'good friend' to Jack?
How about his FRIEND AMY he made PLANS with to watch a flippin' MOVIE with tonight?
What about her? Isn't she your friend?
Doesn't she deserve the same respect that Jack gets?

Apparently NOT.

So tonight, even though this isn't much of a post at all, it's my way of spewing my shit prior to drifting off into an annoyance induced coma with a side of aleve for shits & giggles.

I know one thing, my new friend Tori has a couple photos of me, of how I looked tonight, most specifically of how I dolled myself up for mister Matty 'no-show' who never did see what he was missing, sadly.

(see what he was missing?)

So, Tori's hubby is a cop and apparently he's got several single friends who are also cops,
so it can't hurt to just share my smile via email, can it?

So, here's to me having lost my damn mind & here's to the possibility of a beautiful cop to help me find it & put it back where it belongs someday...

...stranger things HAVE happened, I know.

Oh, and Tori, for the record, I was only joking when I said I had my own set of cuffs...
*cough cough*

Uh, that would be aunt Di or aunt Jen. *evilgrin*
NOT POOR INNOCENT OLD MOI!
*laughing*

c'mon, did you think I could end a post WITHOUT making MYSELF laugh?
hardly!
LMFAO


(thanks Tori for the chat earlier, hope your chinese food was delish!)

-Me.

An open letter to our faithful readers...

I'd like to thank everyone who has contacted me thus far with their stories & reasons why they'd like to continue to follow our journey, they were wonderful to read & warmed my heart.

Ruby and I are happy to allow you ALL to continue to peek into the daily goings on of our lives.
She's a cute, happy, silly little girl that makes everyone who knows her smile.
How can I not share that with people who have been faithful to my ridiculous ramblings that I originally dubbed 'Ruby In Her Own Time...' after a book I read that helped me through everything that IS 'International Adoption'.

Who knew that over a year & half after starting what really only began as a personal journal of sorts for myself to document my feelings & frustrations, that this thing, this 'BLOG' would blow up into what it has now become, a larger than life family with people faithful to it that I wouldn't trade for the world.

Ruby & I are honored to be bringing you all with us on this next phase of our life together & would just like to say, a very heartfelt;

"THANK YOU!"

May you all have a wonderful holiday season & a smashing new year!

(fear not, I have been blogging still, and you WILL be able to see ALL of that
including some really hysterical photos, but I'm just saving them all as 'drafts'
until after the new year & the new private blog.)

Until then... see you all on the FLIP SIDE!


PS. To those of you who have yet to let me know your info,
you have but a few days left until the blog goes private. (Jan 1st, midnight)

Happy Merry Jolly to everyone... & to all a good night!

Privacy Please... **note to all 'gwenblog' readers (scroll down)

...yes, it's true, I'm moving to a private blog
allowing me to be a little more conservative about who has access.

With the new blogger beta, I have that option &
after the email I just received, it's done.

So, here's the deal... I need emails from people telling me who you are, & how I know you and your email addy so I can add you to my list of 'allowed' viewers.

It shouldn't be that much of a pain in the ass as I'm pretty sure you only need A. a Google account (they're free to get & most of you have them all ready I'm assuming) and B. a one time log in & as long as you don't log out of Google, you're free to view the blog anytime you choose.
Now, that is how I've come to understand it, but remember I've not done this before so it'll be a bit touch & go at first, so everyone please bear with me till it's a done deal.

I know it kinda sucks, but it is what it is & it's my daughter
& it's my choice to do what I need to do to protect her & me,
so going private it is.

So, as of Jan 1st, exactly at midnight, the new private blog will be in effect.
Upon going into effect, everyone who is allowed access will receive an email from me with directions on how to go about signing in. They seemed pretty cut & dry (I tested it out with my other blog, dictionary schmictionary, and it was fairly easy to do...)
so I'm sure this will go smoothly as planned.

My email link is right here on the blog so just click it, & tell me who are you, where do you live & provide a valid email addy & consider yourself privy to the funny antics of R.I.H.O.T. After all, if you all are looking in on my life, then it goes without saying that I should be allowed a little glimpse of yours.


-Amy

PS. Please do not leave your email info as a comment
as that is not what is going to help me.

Thanks a bunch!


**If you are currently allowed access to Gwenblog,
than consider yourself also allowed access to R.I.H.O.T.
(however you will still need to inform me of your email info
& just mention that you're one of Karen's regular readers...)
She is one of my best friends & I trust her judgement implicitly.
Thanks.

Irony with a capital...

...FUNNY!

So, Ruby was dancing around the living room tonight in her 'oh so cute' way, listening to music from Noggin, and as she's swirling & twirling, I notice something slightly SHINY & BRIGHT shooting beams from her hair.
Hmmm, what the hell is that?
Ruby, baby, come here & see Momma so I can see what's goin' on with your head girl...
"Momma, wha'issit?"
C'mere baby, let me see... come close so I can check out your hair...

Ruby comes closer all the while whispering to me,
"wha'issit Momma? wha'issit? shhh (now whispering) wha'issit?"

Me (also whispering, although I don't quite know why...)
'I dunno baby, let's see...'

So she gets close to me & I look & there's a sticker
just kinda 'hanging out' in her hair, as happy as can be.

'Hmmm, It's a sticker Ruby...'
She looks at me with a smile & says with wide eyes;
"A STICKER?!!!! OOOH MOMMA A STICKER!!!"

It's teenie & I haven't a clue where it came from or what it is, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let it stay in her hair all 'welfare' style, SO, out comes the sticker..."

Upon getting a closer look at it, Ruby asks me once more;
"wha'issit Momma?"

I DIE LAUGHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THIS is what it was:

(scroll down)

























You can SEE why THIS PARTICULAR STICKER had me in STITCHES!
How very apropos. LMFAO

I suppose after the day we had yesterday, a good laugh is exactly what the doctor ordered!

*grin*

Loss...

...as seen through the eyes of my daughter.

I'm sure by now you all have noticed that the photos that were previously up of Ruby with her foster mother, are no longer there. There is a reason for that...

...my daughter looked at them, and at first, not much of a reaction to speak of.
So I thought, ok, she's fine... moving on.

Not.
So.
Much.

My daughter who, if you ask anyone who knows her will tell you, is about the most chill, relaxed, laid back little girl on the planet; turned into a crazed sad heartbroken little person who clung with intense fervor to my body & refused to let go as tear after tear came spilling out of her little eyes & rolled down those glorious cheeks.

She remembers.
She knows.
She's suffering.
She's scared that it will happen again, perhaps.

All I know is that nothing, and I mean NOTHING I did, could console this child.
Not.
Even.
Bear.

*tears*

Finally, I gave her one of her favorite things on the planet, a plain wafer cone, and curled up with her in my bed & let her just cry it out.
Maybe mourning the loss of someone isn't about making it all better...

...maybe it's about hearing someone say,
" it's ok to let it out..."

So, my daughter & I, both had ourselves a very long,
very intense cry as we held on tight to one another and I whispered in her ear;
"I love you SO MUCH baby! I promise I will never abandon you, ever."

Now, we're going to take that promise one day at a time & hope that circumstances beyond my control don't make me break the one promise in the world I want so desperately to keep for many many MANY years to come.

Please keep my little girl in your prayers today, as she is truly suffering from a loss so great that I can't even begin to try & explain it with words.
I just know I love her & want to help her through her grieving... any way I can.

-Amy

Somebody pinch me...

...cuz I just had an hour long conversation with Ruby's foster mother by way of my friend in Shanghai and OMG, I have information that I thought I'd NEVER have!
I know things now that I have ALWAYS wondered about!
When Ruby gets older & asks me things, now rather than a response of, "I'm sorry sweetie, I just don't know..." I will have ANSWERS FOR HER! VALID REAL ANSWERS PROVIDED TO ME BY THE SECOND WOMAN TO LOVE HER BEFORE ME!
(the first being her birth mother, who we are forever grateful for)

I am numb, I am proud, I am happy, I am shaking, I have been crying, I got so many answers tonight to things I was desperate to know but seemingly forced myself to 'shelf' temporarily because I just thought the odds of ever finding the answers were obscenely rare.

Little did I know that I'd be getting the worlds most MONUMENAL CHRISTMAS GIFT EVER!
A Christmas Miracle, for a little girl who touched so many hearts not only in China,
but right here in the USA as well.

It's amazing the things that can happen, and I am humbled by it all.

I don't know what else to say, there will no doubt be more conversations to come as well as, I've been informed, photos of my girl just days old.
DAYS OLD!<@#$#$%% I need to go lay down, I am feeling lightheaded and can't even begin to process all this, I know that I am blessed beyond all measurement, and feel so so SO lucky tonight, to call myself Momma to that little girl sleeping soundly in the next room. Thank You God, your gift was exactly what I wanted this Christmas... exactly.

Decorating Nanna's Christmas Tree...

...one

ornament

at a time.

DELICIOUS @ DOWN UNDA.Lee-Anne.com etc...

...can I just say,
that these twisted little guys are
a small slice of tomato & basil HEAVEN!

Lee-Anne, my friend...
YOU ROCK!

Thank you again so much for sharing your yummy treats with this
bean town Momma! Next I'll have to send you some of our sinfully addictive
Snyder's pretzel nibblers in honey mustard & onion!
GOOD GOOD GOOD OMG SCHTUFF!

Behold, the 'BOX-O-GOODIES' that our dear friend Lee-Anne sent Ruby & Me:


As if those yummy pretzels weren't enough (because they hit the SPOT for sure!),
there's also an adorable little Koala fuzzy friend that Ruby has already kissed & introduced to her beloved Bear. A really kewl hot pink ruler for when my little monkey heads off to school!
(perish the thought, I'm going to keep her home with me forever!)
~...shh let me live in my fantasy world~
There was a sweet letter personally written by Lee-Anne herself & an adorable Christmas card (that once I'm done this post is going right up on our door with all the others!),
a precious children's book about 'Koala's Big Day'...


...and my favorite little piece of Australia to date: the Red Thread saying COMPLETE with actual red thread!
This one's going into Ruby's Life Journal!

THANK YOU THANK YOU A THOUSAND TIMES, THANK YOU!!!!!!
*hugs*
From our home to yours!

-Amy & Ruby Cate
( & Bear & Koala too!)