Losing my mind...

...one post at a time!

So, I've been blogging this whole time, just merely saving everything as 'drafts' until such time as we're officially private & only the following 'few' will be privy to my thoughts & such.

It's insane because writing for me is a part of my everyday life, so to NOT blog...?
...until I go private? Is!
FUCKING!
KILLING!
ME!

*yes people, I just swore... GET OVER IT!*

So, I'm breaking the rules just a little bit, just tonight, just this once...
(after all, they're my rules, I'm allowed to bend/break them, right?)
~myblog,myrules~

THAT SAID, I am seriously considering becoming a nun.
Oh, you heard that right... only, not so much a NUN but more like a
NONE!
As in, NONE OF THIS & NONE OF THAT!
(you hear me Matty?)

Seriously, when did being the 'understanding sweet 'friend' EVER get anyone anywhere?

It didn't.

That's exactly why I'm pissy tonight.

The day started out enjoyable enough...

...breakfast with my daughter & my mom, good stuff.
Then a shower for me & a bath for miss Rubes...

...teeth brushed & dressed & out the door to the park to visit Ruby's beloved;

"GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!"

So we head to the park, Ruby sees the slides & GOES APESHIT!
*no lie*

Starts immediately chanting;
"GEEN SWIDE MOMMA! GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!"

I smile & say, "Yes baby, there are the slides but they're blue & yellow, not green honey."
(her first slide ever visited was green, thus the constant reminder of 'GEEN SWIDE')
I digress...

So, up & on the slide she goes, Bear in tow... and SWOOOSH, down goes Bear
(while Ruby is maniacally laughing as she chucks him head first,
yes, I know it's harsh, but SO the truth- tough love perhpas? who knows...)

All the while she hasn't stopped chanting;

"GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!"
My mind snapped;
"Ruby, sweetie, this slide is BLUE, and that one is YELLOW, ok baby? There's no GREEN slide here today luvie'bug... that slide is at home in our park. We're at the other park, remember?"

(It's funny, you know for an experienced Nanny you'd think that I'd KNOW BETTER THAN TO TRY TO REASON WITH A TWO YEAR OLD! OY VEY!)

Again, more digressing...

So, she says; "NO MOMMA! GEEN SWIDE GEEN SWIDE!"

I hold her hand & look into her beautiful almond shaped eyes that are just the color of charcoal, & say; "Baby, what color is this?"
(pointing to the blue slide)
"Balooo Momma!"
"Good Girl Ruby!" I say, and then pointing to the other (yellow) slide, ask again;
"And what color is THIS slide Ruby?"
"Lellow Momma, Lellow Swide"
"GOOD GIRL SWEETIE! THAT'S RIGHT, BLUE AND YELLOW! Now, what slide would you like to go down now baby?"

3.......








2.............










1...............






*GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE! GEEN SWIDE!*

*sigh, can't say I didn't try*

So, after that enjoyable time at the park, we come home.
Lunch for us both, quality bonding Momma & Ruby time complete with COLORS FLASH CARDS WITH MUCH EMPHASIS ON 'GREEN, BLUE & YELLOW',
& then a nappy for Miss Cheeks & some rest for Momma.

Only, I didn't rest, my mind raced, WHY?
Cuz it's hard to rest when your sweater smells like your Matty.
Like he's here next to me, wrapped around me in the most fantastic embrace, like a lot of things I would enjoy experiencing rather than merely picturing in my mind's eye...
...only I can't.

I can't, why you ask?
Because he's not here, he's at work & I'm home alone with only his scent to keep me wound up until the next time I see him again.
Lame, I know but man oh man there is just something about a mans cologne.
And Matty, well he doesn't smell good because of the cologne, but the cologne smells good because of HIM!
(make sense?)

So tonight he was supposed to come over to watch 'Firewall' with me...
(excellent movie btw, rent it if you haven't & don't order a pizza, trust me)

So he was all psyched, but as always, psyched does not a 'date' make...

...phone rings:

"Aim, hey ya, it's Matty, listen, change of plans..."

(hmmm, where have I heard this familiar tune before? Wait... lemme go check my cd's, cuz I KNOW I know this one...)

Long & short of it is, his friend Jack called him, needed his help SPECIFICALLY for whatever it was he was jonesin' about, and off he went like the good 'friend' he is.

But here's what I wanna know, where is it written that he can only be a 'good friend' to Jack?
How about his FRIEND AMY he made PLANS with to watch a flippin' MOVIE with tonight?
What about her? Isn't she your friend?
Doesn't she deserve the same respect that Jack gets?

Apparently NOT.

So tonight, even though this isn't much of a post at all, it's my way of spewing my shit prior to drifting off into an annoyance induced coma with a side of aleve for shits & giggles.

I know one thing, my new friend Tori has a couple photos of me, of how I looked tonight, most specifically of how I dolled myself up for mister Matty 'no-show' who never did see what he was missing, sadly.

(see what he was missing?)

So, Tori's hubby is a cop and apparently he's got several single friends who are also cops,
so it can't hurt to just share my smile via email, can it?

So, here's to me having lost my damn mind & here's to the possibility of a beautiful cop to help me find it & put it back where it belongs someday...

...stranger things HAVE happened, I know.

Oh, and Tori, for the record, I was only joking when I said I had my own set of cuffs...
*cough cough*

Uh, that would be aunt Di or aunt Jen. *evilgrin*
NOT POOR INNOCENT OLD MOI!
*laughing*

c'mon, did you think I could end a post WITHOUT making MYSELF laugh?
hardly!
LMFAO


(thanks Tori for the chat earlier, hope your chinese food was delish!)

-Me.