Honest to GOD... I've seriously HAD IT with these ridiculous 'absent parent/insert toy' type toys that seem to CONSTANTLY resurface regardless of time or generation.
When I was a kid it was
THIS creepy ass toy that parents thought was just amazing, yet I recall it SCARING THE SHIT OUT OF ME!
"Uh, Ma? I really prefer my stuffed animals NOT TO COME TO LIFE & TRY TO HAVE A MEANINGFUL CONVERSATION WITH ME ABOUT OUR FRIENDSHIP... EWWW!"
(Why am I having awful CHUCKY flashbacks?)
IF IT'S FUZZY & A DOLL, DON'T GIVE IT THE POWER OF BATTERY INDUCED SPEECH!
Christ, that's enough to send MOST OF US spiraling into a pit of therapy the likes of which you've never seen!
Thankfully my Mother was none too impressed with that evil number, thus he never made his way into the Italian house to spread his Ruxpin funk on anyone!
It's now, over 30 years later, and the marketing genius that is Hasbro, thinks that
THIS CREEPY TEDDY #2 IS JUST WHAT THE ABSENT PARENT ORDERED!
C'mon people, what ever happened to YOU reading a book to your child?
A novel idea I'm sure, but think for a second...
Can any toy EVER in the HISTORY of Toys take the place of some quality 1 on 1 time between you & your child?
Not! So! Much!
Honestly everyone... can't YOU just read to your children?
Don't sit them in front of yet another battery powered 'babysitter' to occupy their little impressionable minds so that you can get one more fax sent or one more dish washed or one more ANYTHING done.
Because I'm here to tell you that when those little impressionable children become adults & someone asks them to remember what stands out most about their childhood...
I can GUARANTEE you that it's NOT going to be the hours upon endless hours they sat in front of some stupid talking, story telling, battery sucking bear...
Life isn't that hellish that you need an electronic babysitter to occupy your child for a few minutes so you can get something accomplished.
I am a single mother who works a FULL week as a Nanny to 1 YEAR OLD TWINS
in addition to my 2 year old toddler. I get my work done, I get my OWN stuff done & not ONE of those children ever needs the aid of a talking storytelling bear.
AND I take it a step further & prepare all the meals I serve them from SCRATCH!
No, I'm not claiming to be Betty freakin' Crocker, but what I AM boasting is my ability to KNOW that it's the little things like this that matter.
It's the little things that children take with them into their adulthood.
It's the home cooked meals, the stories read, the giggles shared, the time spent...
And on top of all that, when the twins or Ruby wants a story read...
I read it to them.
I do.
Me, myself & I!
And you know what? They SIT for the story!
They LOVE being read to, hell, I'M 34 AND I STILL LOVE A GOOD STORY!
Doesn't everyone?
It's something that none of us outrgows... ever.
Is whatever it is that you need to get done, really that pressing a 'thing' that you need to get 'it' done RIGHT NOW?
Can't it wait?
I mean really, is your life going to come to a screeching halt if you don't get those last dishes into the dishwasher or run that vaccum one more time?
Trust me, eventually your child will nap.
Maybe not during the day like you had hoped, but surely at night, hell we all gotta conk out at some point, yes?
Thirty years ago my Mom did those things with me, and trust me... I remember.
Everything.
Thirty years from now, if we ask our children what they remember most,
what do you think they'll say?
What do you HOPE they'll say?
Are you hoping for " Man my mom was so kewl to always let me sit & listen to that super kewl bear read me stories... Huh, what's that? How did Mom tell it?
Uh, I dunno, she never read the books to me, it was always just the bear..."
Or do you want it be a little something like this:
"My Mom used to read to me my favorite book over and over even though I'm sure it drove her a little nuts! She knew how much I loved it and no matter how many times I wanted to hear it, she'd just smile & keep on reading it because she loved me.
AND she did all the voices herself! Talk about a memory & one hell of a Mom..."
No kid is going to say, "Man am I ever psyched that I spent every weekend in front of that electronic freakoid bear thingie, those were quality stories. Oh, my mom? I dunno, she was probably busy... but oh that bear, let me tell you about the bear, good times!"
NOT!
Please people, at the end of the day, the first thing I think about isn't the stuff I got accomplished, because it's just that, stuff.
The things that stick to the roof of my mouth like really good peanut butter, are the moments my daughter & I giggled together, the stories I read her over and over that she NEVER seems to get sick of & ALWAYS appreciates my attempt at the silly voices & sound effects, the small but powerful gesture of simply her grasping hold of my finger as I push the shopping cart through the market tonight & upon feeling her touch, I look down to see her gorgeous coal colored almond shaped eyes glistening up at me with a smile so big it nearly masked her adorable ears... as she said 'Uh Voo Momma', while I'm picking out which rice cakes to buy.
Those my friends are the moments that matter not only to my child, but to me.
The time spent with them, TIME...
Not money.
Not toys.
Not clothes.
Time.
So this christmas when someone says to you "OMG have you seen that adorable new talking bear... blah blah blah? Aren't you going to get one for your child? It's the hottest new toy you know! All the mothers are trying to get their hands on one!"
Smile & politely say, "Eh, I'm pretty sure my little one won't be interested in that, anyways... she's already got a pretty good storyteller at home, and I don't require batteries."