Thursday, September 07, 2006

It's 11:55am...

... in China right now.
Of course here it's 12 hours behind that, so we're still on Wed Sept 6th.

Weird isn't it? On this, the eve of my daughter's 1st official birthday celebrated home with me, the one year anniversary of the day I got 'THE CALL', I am sitting here losing myself in some FLOYD
(delicate sound of thunder, double cd live)
and wondering what, if anything, Ruby's birth mother is thinking at this very moment...

Is she up? Does she work, or stay home? Is she a married woman with a husband & inlaws or is she a single gal. Is she older or is she just a kid herself?
I know that if I were Ruby's birthmother, I'd absolutely have thoughts of the child I gave birth to & abandoned at the forefront of my mind...

So many questions that will have to go unanswered...
So many things I'd like to share with her about her brave & beautiful little girl,
but none ever able to be spoken.

It's shot night tonight, did it & am literally falling asleep as I type this but just felt I should share with the universe this tidbit of 'drunkfloyd' wisdom...
(and yes I mean drunk ON FLOYD, not acohol, I don't drink remember?)

Anyhoo... back to my wisdom:

It just doesn't matter how many miles seperate Ruby from her birth country, her birth mother, her homeland, her culture, her people...
... it only matters that I do my job & over the days, weeks, months, years that she's my daughter, I instill in her a sense of pride. Of dignity, of honor, of morals & vaules...
so that regardless of how far away she is physically from where she came from,
China will live every day deep within her heart.

I'm pretty sure her birthmother would be proud of how I'm raising our little girl.
Goodnight.

4 comments:

Kim said...

What a beautiful post.

C's Mom said...

Amazing post. Happy birthday to your girl!

Anonymous said...

Amy,

What a beautiful and inspiring post. Thank you...

Special K said...

That was so well said. I love the ending... they really are "our" little girls... shared with someone we'll never know.