Finally!

So, every night now since that awful day back on May 3rd, I'd crawl into bed at night & say, out loud, "Ebby, come visit Momma tonight in my sleep buddy, come say hi to me cuz I miss you SO MUCH and I just want to hold you & hug you one more time...".

And every night, I had high hopes, but every morning, I'd wake & nothing. Oh, I had dreams, silly ones of ridiculous stuff that made no sense, as most dreams usually are... but no Ebby.
No Ebby that is, until this past Tuesday Night when, again... upon crawling into bed, I asked him 'again' to "...come visit me in my dreams, please... I just missed him SO MUCH!"

My dream that night was the most vivid ever, and it was one of those dreams that I knew he had already passed & KNEW it was a dream, but was so happy that he had heard me & stopped by for a snuggle.

I was downstairs at my parents house doing something in the kitchen, (my parents were both in the yard doing yard work as it was a beautiful day and Ruby was sound asleep in her pack & play for a nap so, why was I in my Mom's kitchen? Don't ask... )

So, I'm there & I hear the ever familiar SCRATCH SCRATCH at the back hall door.... 'OMG WHAT THE HELL IS OUT THERE!?#$%#" I thought there's a critter or something, holy crap! I was TERRIFIED to open the door cuz my first thought was "it CAN'T be Ebby, he's gone so what the HELL is scratching at the door?"

I gently & hesitantly open the door & who should come bounding in, but Ebenezer. I was dumbstruck!
"OMG EBENEZER!! IS IT REALLY YOU? IT CAN'T BE BUDDY! OMG!"
I immediately dropped to the floor & scooped him up in my arms to make sure, yes it really WAS Ebby! I inspected his ears, his face, that pink spot on his bottom lip that was uniquely him... and after doing a thorough 'once over' OMG IT REALLY IS YOU EBBY! OMG OMG OMG OMG!!!!!! OMG!
"OMG BUDDY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR FINALLY VISITING ME IN MY DREAMS! I'VE MISSED YOU SOOOOO MUCH PAL! OMG LET ME JUST HOLD YOU BUDDY, COME HERE TO MOMMA!"
and he came & curled right up in my lap like he always used to whenever I sat indian style on the floor... and I was in heaven.
I scratched his ears, and they were solid & real & fuzzy & soft & smelled so familiar and I loved every second of this dream!
I held him so close & told him over and over and over and over how much I loved him & would always love him & that he can visit me anytime he wants in my dreams, cuz he made a wish come true that night. I woke up with tears in my eyes, but they were HAPPY tears.
Yes I'm sad I miss him, yes as I type this tears are streaming down my face, but I know I did right by my boy and I know he knows that too and now I know he LISTENS to me cuz he made a special trip to visit his Momma who had a hole in her heart.
And for just a short while tuesday night, as my physical body slept, my spiritual energy got to snuggle once more with my best friend, my fuzzy son... my four legged soulmate... and that has got to be the definition of 'HEAVEN ON EARTH!' It HAS to be!

Dreams are amazing things... I didn't have another one of him last night, and I wanted to share this with everyone right after it happened but life got in the way for a bit, you all know how that goes.

So, there you have it, my precious little friend finally stopped by for what I can only hope will be the FIRST OF MANY visits to me while the moon & stars light up the sky.

Thank you Ebenezer for knowing how much that meant to Momma... I miss you more than I have words to describe it here but it was so good to get to hold you again buddy, you felt so warm & solid & soft and I will hold that dream so close to my heart until you visit again old friend.

I love you!

PS. Just now after I thought I had finished with this post, I called Ruby over up into my lap to look at the picture of Ebby. I asked her " Who'se that baby girl, who is that? Is that Ebenezer?..." then I said to her "I'm sorry that you probably won't remember him, it makes me so sad that you'll never know what a great Dog he was..." and as I sat there with my Daughter on my lap, she looked at the picture quite seriously & started (on her own, with NO prompting from me) to howl. She knows! She remembers! OMG! You think the tears were streaming down my face when I first typed this thing, OMG NOTHING compared to the crying I just did upon the realization that my little girl, as young as she is (21 months yesterday) REMEMBERS HER FRIEND EBBY WHO TAUGHT HER HOW TO HOWL! I said to her, through shuddering/shaking tears, "OMG BABY, EBBY IS SO PROUD OF YOU RIGHT NOW, YOU REMEMBER! YOU HOWLED BABY, YOU REMEMBER YOUR EBBY!!!"
And that's about all I can type now cuz I just honestly can't see the screen & want to go snuggle with my smart, beautiful little girl who I don't nearly give enough credit to. I love you Ruby!

Love,

-Momma
XoXoXoXo