Sleeping Update...
Nap today: 1:30pm - 4:00pm.
Woke up wanting to 'snuggle Momma', which we did...
had a wake to attend so I had her dinner prepared, sat her in front of it with her Nonno beside her, told her;
"Ruby, Momma has to go to the store, ok baby? I'll be back soon... Momma loves you!"
*hugs & kisses*
Everyone good to go.
Nonno's happy, Ruby's happy & Momma's content to leave without a screaming child but still sad to go & pay my final respects to an amazing woman, my dear Jen's Nan.
Nan, I loved you as my own Nan & I'll never forget you.
(Enjoy the white out!)
Ok, back to the day... return from the wake shortly after five'ish & Ruby's happily playing with her Nonno & was joined by her Nannie too.
The three of them happy as pigs in a puddle, bonus!
More hugs & kisses, grandparents boogie & Ruby & Momma go back to 'snuggle Momma' time,
have some Italian chicken egg noodle soup with garlic bread for dinner.
*sorry, no recipe for this one yet, someday... just not tonight*
Some couch time snuggling,
some hugging & kissing,
some hand holding,
some bear smooching,
some story telling,
some giggling,
some bed time stories
&
then off to bed she went at 8:30pm.
Crying, wailing, screaming, begging, choking, pleading episode until shortly losing steam at around 9pm.
(15 minutes longer than my usual 15 minute rule & by far THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO DO... listen to her cries of 'MOMMAAAAAAAAAA SNUUUUUGGGGGGGLEEEEEEEEEEEE PWEEEEEEASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!")
I sat quietly in the dark of my living room
&
cried.
I prayed for the strength to let her cry it out tonight without caving.
Thank you God for granting me that ability tonight.
My daughter is STILL *knocking on wood* sound asleep in her crib peacefully dreaming of hopefully ANYTHING other than nightmarish quality stuff,
&
has with her currently THREE BEARS!
*don't ask, that's a post for another day*
I did one thing different tonight, well two actually.
1. I have dimmers throughout the house, in every room, so tonight I took advantage of that & left her room light on enough so that the room is not dark at all.
In fact, if she wakes up, she'll be able to see just fine.
I'm pretty sure it's the 'afraid of the dark' stuff that's truly getting to her,
so no more dark baby, Momma says 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!'
Honestly, a slightly higher electric bill is worth it's weight in RISOTTO
if it means I'll be getting a full uninterrupted night's sleep, correct?
&
2. Until I have her back on a normal sleeping schedule,
my usual 15 minute rule has been bumped up to 30 minutes,
& this Momma anticipates going through just a bit more tissue than usual.
*...and for the record, that pic of her from last night, with the puffy face, the drenched hair and the sad eyes, breaks my heart every time. I can no longer look at it without crying myself.
I love this little girl so much & if you can't look to your mother for unconditional love & understanding, than WHO? I could sit here all night & type all the things I 'could'a should'a would'a, but the reality is... you live for a day.
Yesterday's gone, tomorrow hasn't come yet, it's just today.
So, today... I did alright.*
Woke up wanting to 'snuggle Momma', which we did...
had a wake to attend so I had her dinner prepared, sat her in front of it with her Nonno beside her, told her;
"Ruby, Momma has to go to the store, ok baby? I'll be back soon... Momma loves you!"
*hugs & kisses*
Everyone good to go.
Nonno's happy, Ruby's happy & Momma's content to leave without a screaming child but still sad to go & pay my final respects to an amazing woman, my dear Jen's Nan.
Nan, I loved you as my own Nan & I'll never forget you.
(Enjoy the white out!)
Ok, back to the day... return from the wake shortly after five'ish & Ruby's happily playing with her Nonno & was joined by her Nannie too.
The three of them happy as pigs in a puddle, bonus!
More hugs & kisses, grandparents boogie & Ruby & Momma go back to 'snuggle Momma' time,
have some Italian chicken egg noodle soup with garlic bread for dinner.
*sorry, no recipe for this one yet, someday... just not tonight*
Some couch time snuggling,
some hugging & kissing,
some hand holding,
some bear smooching,
some story telling,
some giggling,
some bed time stories
&
then off to bed she went at 8:30pm.
Crying, wailing, screaming, begging, choking, pleading episode until shortly losing steam at around 9pm.
(15 minutes longer than my usual 15 minute rule & by far THE HARDEST THING I'VE EVER HAD TO DO... listen to her cries of 'MOMMAAAAAAAAAA SNUUUUUGGGGGGGLEEEEEEEEEEEE PWEEEEEEASSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!")
I sat quietly in the dark of my living room
&
cried.
I prayed for the strength to let her cry it out tonight without caving.
Thank you God for granting me that ability tonight.
My daughter is STILL *knocking on wood* sound asleep in her crib peacefully dreaming of hopefully ANYTHING other than nightmarish quality stuff,
&
has with her currently THREE BEARS!
*don't ask, that's a post for another day*
I did one thing different tonight, well two actually.
1. I have dimmers throughout the house, in every room, so tonight I took advantage of that & left her room light on enough so that the room is not dark at all.
In fact, if she wakes up, she'll be able to see just fine.
I'm pretty sure it's the 'afraid of the dark' stuff that's truly getting to her,
so no more dark baby, Momma says 'LET THERE BE LIGHT!'
Honestly, a slightly higher electric bill is worth it's weight in RISOTTO
if it means I'll be getting a full uninterrupted night's sleep, correct?
&
2. Until I have her back on a normal sleeping schedule,
my usual 15 minute rule has been bumped up to 30 minutes,
& this Momma anticipates going through just a bit more tissue than usual.
*...and for the record, that pic of her from last night, with the puffy face, the drenched hair and the sad eyes, breaks my heart every time. I can no longer look at it without crying myself.
I love this little girl so much & if you can't look to your mother for unconditional love & understanding, than WHO? I could sit here all night & type all the things I 'could'a should'a would'a, but the reality is... you live for a day.
Yesterday's gone, tomorrow hasn't come yet, it's just today.
So, today... I did alright.*
4 comments:
Oh Amy -
My Kacie used to have these "night terrors" and this is usually happens after a really rough day. And that was happening when she was 2 and 3 but as she got older, she can recognized these terror and wakes herself up. I am so sorry you are enduring them now. I will lift both of you in my prayers tonight and may you have peace and tranquility soon.
Sherrie
Hey - doing what you are trying to do is one of the HARDEST things to do even if you have a partner. Listening to the crying - it breaks your heart. My 14 yr old came to me the other morning with big crockodile tears rolling down his face because his throat hurt - and I cried on my way to work because I couldn't stay with him.
Yep - I know that doesn't compare. Just know that YOU CAN DO THIS and that YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOMMA!!!!
~Carla
Having a child and not being able to instantly fix whatever is wrong is the hardest task!! As a momma you want to fix everything and make your child the happiest they can be, but sometimes that's just not possible. Keep your head, you can do it!
Give Ms. Ruby kisses for me la la la la la la girl :)
Amy-- you are doing more that "alright"-- you are doing awesome!!!!!
Post a Comment