Sleep VS. the power of the mind...
There's nothing like knowing you should be in bed when the reality is
the power of your thoughts has truly taken over & you're no longer in control of your actions.
I know I want to go to bed... I've already told my legs to get up & walk my ass over to the bed & crawl in, but they're not really hearing me I'm guessing...
...tonight, they have a mind of their own, as do my fingers flying over the keys while I type this with the speed of light.
It's insane how MS can take some things away from you yet others aren't effected in the least, ie: my typing.
After my initial diagnosis, my handwriting went completely in the shitter. It used to be pretty & swirly & fun... now it's just no more than 'chicken scratch' that I truly dislike.
I thank God every day that I am so efficient at typing & that my fingers NEVER let me down.
Sure, I may spell a word wrong here or there but hell, at least I can still get my thoughts down somewhere without having it be this big outrageous effort on my part to make it legible to others, much less myself.
It's really the real reason I started this blog in the first place... you see, I initially started keeping a journal for Ruby... but once I saw that what started out as really pretty entries in an even prettier book slowly turned into the type of ancient hieroglyphics that need professional deciphering, I gave up & turned to my friend, the computer. The keyboard is my partner in crime, the words are my thoughts turned solid for all to read.
(I don't mind sharing... I have nothing to hide.)
Here, in blogland... I just pick my font, hopefully remember to do a spellcheck & voila, a new entry into the story of my life... my life with Ruby... my life with MS...
My. Life. Period.
I am still holding out hope that I'll find the perfect job soon...
...I know that it's easy to say that everything happens for a 'reason' and that 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle' yadda yadda yadda...
but let's get real folks, of all the cheezy catch phrases in the world, one of my favorites is the one that speaks the most truth...
SHIT HAPPENS!
It knows no color, no race, no age, no social status...
... it just KNOWS it's bound to happen eventually, to me and you.
And the real question isn't "what am I going to do", but more " what am I NOT going to do?"
I'll tell you what I'm NOT going to do, I'm not going to give up hope that I'll eventually find something.
Sure it may take a crap ass long time to find just the right family & make just the right match for all involved... but if there's one thing I've learned in all the years I've been working professionally as a Nanny, it's this... that connection is so magical that it's worth waiting for cuz when you finally find it, it's a job that you wake up EVERY DAY & are glad that you have... feel blessed to call it yours.
That's the job I want, that's the family I long to work for...
...and I know I'll find it.
Just like the time between DTC/LID to Referral... the key here, is PATIENCE.
I think I can do this... I really do.
the power of your thoughts has truly taken over & you're no longer in control of your actions.
I know I want to go to bed... I've already told my legs to get up & walk my ass over to the bed & crawl in, but they're not really hearing me I'm guessing...
...tonight, they have a mind of their own, as do my fingers flying over the keys while I type this with the speed of light.
It's insane how MS can take some things away from you yet others aren't effected in the least, ie: my typing.
After my initial diagnosis, my handwriting went completely in the shitter. It used to be pretty & swirly & fun... now it's just no more than 'chicken scratch' that I truly dislike.
I thank God every day that I am so efficient at typing & that my fingers NEVER let me down.
Sure, I may spell a word wrong here or there but hell, at least I can still get my thoughts down somewhere without having it be this big outrageous effort on my part to make it legible to others, much less myself.
It's really the real reason I started this blog in the first place... you see, I initially started keeping a journal for Ruby... but once I saw that what started out as really pretty entries in an even prettier book slowly turned into the type of ancient hieroglyphics that need professional deciphering, I gave up & turned to my friend, the computer. The keyboard is my partner in crime, the words are my thoughts turned solid for all to read.
(I don't mind sharing... I have nothing to hide.)
Here, in blogland... I just pick my font, hopefully remember to do a spellcheck & voila, a new entry into the story of my life... my life with Ruby... my life with MS...
My. Life. Period.
I am still holding out hope that I'll find the perfect job soon...
...I know that it's easy to say that everything happens for a 'reason' and that 'God doesn't give you more than you can handle' yadda yadda yadda...
but let's get real folks, of all the cheezy catch phrases in the world, one of my favorites is the one that speaks the most truth...
SHIT HAPPENS!
It knows no color, no race, no age, no social status...
... it just KNOWS it's bound to happen eventually, to me and you.
And the real question isn't "what am I going to do", but more " what am I NOT going to do?"
I'll tell you what I'm NOT going to do, I'm not going to give up hope that I'll eventually find something.
Sure it may take a crap ass long time to find just the right family & make just the right match for all involved... but if there's one thing I've learned in all the years I've been working professionally as a Nanny, it's this... that connection is so magical that it's worth waiting for cuz when you finally find it, it's a job that you wake up EVERY DAY & are glad that you have... feel blessed to call it yours.
That's the job I want, that's the family I long to work for...
...and I know I'll find it.
Just like the time between DTC/LID to Referral... the key here, is PATIENCE.
I think I can do this... I really do.
2 comments:
You are an inspiration! Hope the right job finds you soon!
Ruby, I am so glad your brought your mommy back. She's a very special person with lots to offer not only to you but to all of us. We are very fortunately. Thank you Amy.
Post a Comment