Maybe I'll take up dance lessons...
... you ever reach a point in your life where you feel like you've 'stalled' your engine?
Taken a wrong turn & now find yourself staring at a dead end?
No, this isn't about my beautiful Ruby, she's about the only thing RIGHT I've ever done in my life, make no mistake about that.
I'm talking about when I was younger, I had visions of where my life might take me & where I might 'be standing' at age 30.
I mean, don't we all have those 'day dreamy' fascinations of where we might be in ten years? twenty?
Well, I'm pretty sure it was 7th or 8th grade, one of my girlfriends asked me where I thought I'd be when I was 30. My first response was 'UGH, WHO CARES, we'll just be OLD then...!" After that tid bit of kid fear about growing up, I do believe my answer to her was something along the lines of, "Oh, who knows, but I DO KNOW I'll be married to a great guy, with a big beautiful house with a fenced in yard & at least one child or one on the way... etc. *cough/bullshit/cough*
Well, as I sit here & type, I'm a 34 year old single mother to probably one of the most stunningly beautiful children I've ever laid eyes on. Her spirit shines like a rainbow after a storm & her laugh is infectious.
I am blessed to call myself her mother... but what about her 'father'?
Is there someone out there for me? For us?
In 8th grade I was 'POSITIVE' that 'he' was out there & I'd meet him eventually.
Funny how as children we just assume that everything will work itself out eventually.
Now, rather than being the happy 'wife' to mister 'so&so', living in a big beautiful home with a fenced in yard & that child or one on the way... I'm the happy single mother to the sweetest little short person I've ever met and instead of a house, I live in a cozy little two bedroom apartment that I rent from my parents.
Funny, just how things don't always end up the way you had thought they would.
I still have hope though, that 8th grader's spirit still lives in me & she still believes that the 'one' is out there somewhere, but she just yelled at me tonight & said " if you don't ever leave the house you'll never meet him you know, he isn't gonna just show up on the front porch!"
You ever get yelled at by your younger self? Your inner child?
It's not fun!
You think that I'M loud, man, you should meet the KID Amy, SHE'S WORSE!
(just ask my Mother!)
hee hee
So I was thinking that I might take up dancing lessons. It'll be good exercise, it would get me out of the house, hopefully weekly, and maybe, JUST maybe, I might meet someone nice.
I dunno, it's not a done deal yet but it's definitely something I'm tossing around in my head. Any thoughts?
(now, if any of you have a cute single brother/cousin/friend/nephew/uncle/brother-in-law/ etc, FOR GOD SAKES, WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT PHOTOS YET PEOPLE?!)
*grin*
ALWAYS accepting applications... cuz you never can tell what's around the corner.
Taken a wrong turn & now find yourself staring at a dead end?
No, this isn't about my beautiful Ruby, she's about the only thing RIGHT I've ever done in my life, make no mistake about that.
I'm talking about when I was younger, I had visions of where my life might take me & where I might 'be standing' at age 30.
I mean, don't we all have those 'day dreamy' fascinations of where we might be in ten years? twenty?
Well, I'm pretty sure it was 7th or 8th grade, one of my girlfriends asked me where I thought I'd be when I was 30. My first response was 'UGH, WHO CARES, we'll just be OLD then...!" After that tid bit of kid fear about growing up, I do believe my answer to her was something along the lines of, "Oh, who knows, but I DO KNOW I'll be married to a great guy, with a big beautiful house with a fenced in yard & at least one child or one on the way... etc. *cough/bullshit/cough*
Well, as I sit here & type, I'm a 34 year old single mother to probably one of the most stunningly beautiful children I've ever laid eyes on. Her spirit shines like a rainbow after a storm & her laugh is infectious.
I am blessed to call myself her mother... but what about her 'father'?
Is there someone out there for me? For us?
In 8th grade I was 'POSITIVE' that 'he' was out there & I'd meet him eventually.
Funny how as children we just assume that everything will work itself out eventually.
Now, rather than being the happy 'wife' to mister 'so&so', living in a big beautiful home with a fenced in yard & that child or one on the way... I'm the happy single mother to the sweetest little short person I've ever met and instead of a house, I live in a cozy little two bedroom apartment that I rent from my parents.
Funny, just how things don't always end up the way you had thought they would.
I still have hope though, that 8th grader's spirit still lives in me & she still believes that the 'one' is out there somewhere, but she just yelled at me tonight & said " if you don't ever leave the house you'll never meet him you know, he isn't gonna just show up on the front porch!"
You ever get yelled at by your younger self? Your inner child?
It's not fun!
You think that I'M loud, man, you should meet the KID Amy, SHE'S WORSE!
(just ask my Mother!)
hee hee
So I was thinking that I might take up dancing lessons. It'll be good exercise, it would get me out of the house, hopefully weekly, and maybe, JUST maybe, I might meet someone nice.
I dunno, it's not a done deal yet but it's definitely something I'm tossing around in my head. Any thoughts?
(now, if any of you have a cute single brother/cousin/friend/nephew/uncle/brother-in-law/ etc, FOR GOD SAKES, WHY HAVEN'T YOU SENT PHOTOS YET PEOPLE?!)
*grin*
ALWAYS accepting applications... cuz you never can tell what's around the corner.
2 comments:
You crack me up Amy! Love the way you talk to yourself!!!
You are a great Mum.
Be proud.
Lee-Anne
Amy,
Life has a funny way of putting you exactly where you NEED to be, and not necessarily where we thought we SHOULD be ... I've learned that over the last few years ... I went from being a single semi-straight woman to being involved in a wonderful relationship with another woman and hey, lookie here, an insta-Family with a then 9 year old son. Did I ever, when I was a child, imagine that's where I'd be at 30? Heck no! I pictured Mr. Right coming home to a nice little cape house with 2 kids, a dog and some goldfish ... now I have Ms. Wonderfully Perfect for Me sitting at home with 2 dogs, a cat and 1 kid (no fish right now) ... and I couldn't in a million years imagine my life anywhere else ... Life put me where it knew I needed to be and informed me that I'd best suck it up and realize this is my destiny before it all slipped away.
You have a beautiful daughter and a family to dote on her all day and all night ... You are a strong woman with so much love to give that right person that I know life will put you where you need to be ... Until then ... enjoy the ride!
Dance lessons sound like a grand idea ... I have to get out and do something myself (I got yelled at by the short Russian about my weight, my cholesterol, my inactivity ... blah, blah, blah) so hey, if you're looking for someone to come with, let me know ...
Much love from the Still Unseen Aunt Deidre
Post a Comment