A letter to a soon-to-be single mother...

Dear Krista,

You are MORE THAN WELCOME! Trust me when I say that we may not be walking in identical shoes, but they sure as hell pinch in the same places don't they? LOL We're a rare breed, the 'single mother by choice'. It's scarey, amazing, wonderful, unreal, mind blowing etc... the list goes on and on. But the two biggest things it is is BRAVE and IMPORTANT! We're single soldiers doing our 'hearts work'.

People ask me why I chose to adopt, and honestly, adoption chose me. Originally I was going to adopt an older child through the state of Massachusetts via MARE. (Mass Adoption Resource Exchange) I had found a little girl, Maria, she was 12. She loved to color, sing, play games, play sports outside with her friends, she liked school etc... she was a mixed race beautiful little girl & I was going to give her a chance at a better future & she was going to give me the gift of becoming a mother. Only, when I made that decision, it was Sunday & Mare was closed. So, I went to bed & figured "I'll call first thing in the morning."

That night, I had a dream of me walking through the mall holding onto this chubby little hand & when I looked down to see who'se hand it was I was holding, it was Ruby's. Chubby cheeks & all was smiling up at me & she said "Momma".
I woke up that next morning & KNEW my daughter was in CHINA. I called 'MARE' and asked about Maria, and they said " Maria was adopted a week ago, I'm so very sorry..." but I was happy to hear that she had found a forever family & I knew that things clearly are happening for a reason.

So call it fate, call it divine intervention but whatever you call it, I knew in my heart that my daughter was waiting for me in China. Not only waiting for me, but literally CAME & CALLED TO ME in my dream & got my attention. I heard you loud & clear Ruby girl, Momma's coming.

And the rest is history. I officially started the process in april of 04'. Paperchased until Dec 04' & my agency had my dossier put together & sent Jan 14th, 2005. I received my LID Jan 31st 2005. Then, I waited... and waited... and waited... and when I THOUGHT I'd receive my referral (july/august), I missed the cut off by ONE DAY! A HUGE BLOW! But I'm here aren't I? So I survived...

Trust me when I say, things really DO happen the way they do for reasons that we just can't understand & may never know. All I know is that when Sept 7th rolled around & my phone rang & it was Eric from my agency, I nearly fell off the couch when he wished me a 'happy birthday'. I laughed ("Eric's cute but he must not be that bright" I thought...) "Uh, Eric, it's not my birthday, my birthday's in August... " to which he said " IT'T NOT? Oh yeah, that's right, it's RUBY'S BIRTHDAY!" *THUD* my ass was on the floor in SECONDS FLAT! It was the best day of my life... one that I knew I was blessed to be experiencing.

It's a long journey not for the faint of heart but again, remember we're single soldiers... we can absolutely do it! But it helps to have a network of other single parents to lean on... so with that said, Krista... if you ever EVER need anyone to vent to, questions you want to ask, or just a shoulder to cry on, you use this: ***-***-****, anytime.

And remember, soul mates come in all forms, and I'm here to tell you that Mia, your soul mate, will take your BREATH AWAY, just like my little precious Ruby Cate did nearly one year ago.

Take care hon! *hugs*


-Amy & Ruby Cate
Mother & Daughter- Nov 20th, 2005,
Officially a forever family- Nov 21st, 2005.
Beyond blessed to have found one another- Every Day.