Monday, January 09, 2006

Nanny/Momma runs a TIGHT SHIP!





... ok, so it's 7:37pm & I've just successfully put miss Ruby Cate down for what will be the night. She's not asleep yet however, she's doing her 'I'll keep this up until momma comes in & saves me from this crib' cry which to be frank, isn't much of a cry as it is more a 'whiny dragged out moaning' kinda cry. Sorry kid, Momma was a Nanny way before she was a Momma and I don't play that game! (sadly for you) LOL I also REFUSE to play the 'pick up' game... if something she's playing with falls to the floor by genuine accident, of course I'll pick it up & give it back to her, but if she deliberately chucks said item & sends it barreling to the floor to see if she can make her Momma bend over to pick it up? I don't think so, nope, sorry babe, no can do... Momma doesn't play that game... EVER! This Nanny, turned Momma runs a TIGHT SHIP. Part of that tight ship is the 15 minute rule... none of this co-sleeping stuff for this family. Ruby has slept in her OWN crib since the very first night we became Momma & Ruby! Hell, even Ebenezer has his OWN bed! Ruby knows that bed time means just that, bed time. No games, no playing, no back & forth in the crib/out of the crib crap for me, no way, no how, not a snowballs' chance in hell! Now, this is my own personal choice & to those of you who chose to sleep with your children in the same bed, your life, your choice, your rules. It just was NEVER an option for me & won't be, ever. Now, someday when she's older, if she wants to have a fun 'sleepover' night with Momma & we both sleep in my bed for a special treat, totally different, but it's when she's older & she knows that it's just for a special treat.
She's only 16 months people, at this age, she doesn't get 'special treat' she only gets that she 'wants it' and if I start caving in now, there's NO turning back. So, back to my 15 minute rule... babies cry, it's a fact of life. It won't kill her, harm her, scar her for life, etc... it's crying, it happens. So, I put her jammies on her, get her & Bear all snuggly warm & toasty with their matching blankets, we read a book of her choice, usually 'goodnight moon' and then it's in the crib she goes. I then put her Baby Einstein CD (on repeat play), walk over and kiss her several times, tell her how much I love her, & then do the same to her beloved friend Bear & then it's LIGHT'S OUT & GOODNIGHT! She usually only cries for a few minutes, but I remember the first time I did this here upon returning home, I had family & friends question my tactics of letting her cry it out. I said to them, ever so gently but very firm & to the point: "Ruby is tired, she's crying BECAUSE she's tired... if I allow her cries to get to me & I go in & get her out of the crib, all I've done is TEACH HER that her CRYING gets the desired effect she's looking for." Which is why I do NOT get her, rather I let her cry for up to 15 minutes. Nine times out of ten, my child is asleep in under 8 minutes, EVERY TIME! The off chance that she's still up crying for longer than the 15 minute window, there's most likely a reason for the tears; (she's dropped Bear out of the crib, she's pooped her diaper, her foot is twisted inside her feetie pj's etc...) so then I WILL go in & tend to whatever the problem is but once that's fixed, she goes directly right back into the crib & it's bedtime again. By my answer, most could tell by the tone of my voice that I meant business & honestly, why question a nanny with over 15 years experience on how to parent a child? That would be like me questioning my accountant on how he does my taxes, c'mon! It was my job of choice for years because I LOVED WHAT I WAS DOING & if I may say so, was DAMN GOOD AT IT! I've raised more kids than I have hairs on my head & I'm still very close to ALL of them! It's wonderful and before you all jump down my throat (ugh she thinks she's so perfect...) on the contrary, I never claimed to be perfect, however I do know that I'm good at what I do & it's spilling over obviously in the way I parent my daughter. So maybe the way I do things wouldn't necessarily be the way you chose to do them & that's ok... again, different strokes for different folks, right?
All I know is that as I'm typing this, I am hearing the soft sound of breathing coming from my daughters monitor & I know that I'm obviously doing something right.

G'night all & remember to PLEASE give a SHOUT OUT if you haven't done so already... I LOVE reading all your comments! =)

-Momma ( & one very sound asleep, all snuggled up with Bear, Miss Ruby Cate)

8 comments:

Lisa and Tate said...

AMEN SISTAH!!!!!! Take it from a professional nanny!!! Thanks for your insight and wisdom.... Have a cup a tea and relax!!!! Now is Momma's time...

Lisa

M3 said...

Good for you sweetie!!! I don't care if you didn't even have the 15 years of nanny experience. This is your kid and it's your business how you parent her. So unless you're asking for advice, people should pipe down.

Now then, the fact that you DO have 15 years of experience, and are having great success means that I'm going to pepper you with terrified questions when we get back from China. I'm just sayin... ;-)

Johnny said...

I totally agree with your philosophy. Of course, as the lightest sleeper in the house, I have to make the decisions in the middle of the night.

And, I'm not a big co-sleeper either. Give and inch and she's taken a mile (and I'm hugging the edge of the bed trying to keep from getting nudged off the bed).

From Texas.

(and, I can't remember how I got here - must have followed a comment from another blog)

Anonymous said...

I'm 100 percent behind you with this one Amy. Trying to get Daddy to stay with it when his little girl is crying out "Daaaadddddy!" is another story.
Keep up the good work!!

Amy said...

I'm guessing that it's hard for others to understand how I feel about kids... I always knew that I'd be a great candidate for Adoption because I have loved every single child I've ever cared for as if they were my own. It didn't matter that they didn't come from me physically. I just love kids, period. Loving Ruby is the same as Loving every single child I've ever had the pleasure of caring for during my Nanny Years. Don't get me wrong, it's a HUGE MONUMENTAL amout of LOVE but it's always the same love that I show to any child in my care... whether they go home at the end of the day or stay here with me & cozy up in bed with Bear & a set of matching blankets. Maybe I'll never know what you're trying to impress upon me because I don't ever want biological children, there's no need for me. Ruby is 110% my child, she didn't need to come from me physically, she came to me through a miracle & she grew not under my heart, but in it. To me, there's nothing greater than that. I can appreciate that the love you feel for your children is greater than the love you feel for other kids & maybe that does have alot to do with the fact that you birthed them & that's something I'll never know about, so you may very well be justified in feeling that way. But just because Ruby didn't come from me physically doesn't make her any less my daughter & I love her with all of my heart to the moon & back & china & back... JUST THE SAME WAY I've loved ALL THE KIDS I've ever had in my care during my lifetime. That may be hard for some of you to understand but it's the way it's always been. I've just always loved kids more than I can impress upon you so if I come across as 'bitchy' it's just because I'm passionate about what I've spent the better part of my adult life doing... loving & caring & raising many children with all of my heart. (Keep in mind, I am a LEO, and we all know how Leo's are... YOU YOURSELF SHOULD KNOW as you're one TOO! *GRIN*) HEHEHE

And I love you to and you can call me on my shit any day of the week. =) It's what makes us friends for a lifetime.

=)

Stephanie V said...

Hi, I found you through Johnny's Blog and OH MY GOD I already want you to be my best friend! A nanny! Please keep the advice coming! I'm a complete newby and could use all the help I can get.

LOVE your Blog

Christi and Abbey said...

Thank you for all that you wrote on the sleeping/crying issue! My thoughts have always mirrored yours in this area and as a kindergarten/first grade teacher I can really relate to running a tight ship. As I have been reading and researching adoption issues I thought that I may need to go a different direction due to attachment issues. After reading of your success I feel free to go back to what I've always believed. I'm not in the trenches yet and may have to rethink things depending on the needs of my future daughter. We shall see. I would love it if you would continue to share what parenting, discipline, and single mom life management routines are working for you. Your blog is helping me so much, it's even better than Nanny 911!
Christi

Anonymous said...

Amy: just found your site tonight! I've been thinking alot of you and Ruby. Will send you updated photos of Wynn. She's doing really well and calls me mama (the way she referred to her foster mom in China) We miss you. I'm with you on the sleeping issues; probably because I need my sleep! Debbby