The Strange Reality of Friendship...

...so, remember Matty?

Well, he's been coming around more often than not & I'm beyond proud to say that he's quit smoking, period.
Done.
Fin'.
Finite.
etc...

I can't even BEGIN to put into words how happy that makes me for him as well as for myself.
You see, one of the biggest reasons Matty & I were "just friends" for so long was because he smoked. I just can't get on board with a smoker, completely & totally disgusting habit.
Plus, it really IS like kissing an ashtray, and forgive me but... ah, NO!

So, smoking is no longer an issue & the boy hasn't drank as much as before either. Why the sudden changes & the spending more time here? Who knows, but I do know one thing... I have a serious 'Matty Size Crush' on the boy that I don't know how to process... we've been friends for so long that it's really 'weird' now to me to be feeling things for him that I've never before felt.
What do I do? It's like, I think about him & the phone rings, and wow, look at that, it's Matty.
Or, I'll pick up the phone to ring him & his brother will answer & say " wow Amy, Matty & I were just talking about you..." etc.
Little things like that, little signs that neither one of us can ignore for much longer...
It's what has become the strange reality of our friendship, things that happen CONSTANTLY that neither one of us can overlook, but neither one can truly explain either...


I dunno, I really really don't know what to do about how I'm feeling about him & considering that we do kind of have somewhat of a past, it's another link in the chain that is Amy & Matty.

I guess I'm going to just take it one day at a time... Wednesday's tend to be 'our day' so who knows, maybe I'll see him again tonight & we can relax, listen to some Dane Cook (HYSTERICAL!) and just enjoy being in each other's company.

It really doesn't help matters that he smells so god damned good every time he comes over here! I mean seriously, after he leaves I end up burying myself face first into my COUCH
for God sakes!
Yes, it's THAT GOOD!

So, we'll see what happens tonight, as I say, normally wed nights are Matty nights but this week, he found his way here on a Monday night & stayed pretty late because honestly, we just have fun together. Sitting next to him on the couch, occasionally holding hands or just chatting (we tend to do allot of that) is just something I don't think I'm ever going to be sick of, because the reality is, I just love Matty & I know he loves me too... but could we possibly fall 'in' love?
Only time will tell...