Why China...?

...ah, yes, Why China indeed.
The ever popular & always interesting thread started by our very own Johnny... has finally reached R.I.H.O.T.

Those who have answered his call thus far have had amazing stories to share,
all one of a kind, unique accounts of Why China?

It's funny, when I received an email from Sandra informing me that I'd been tagged, I was flattered that, yes it's now my turn...
...my moment to share with everyone, my 'Why China?' story.

I debated how far this story should go back... because honestly if you get right down to it, I've known since I was old enough to know my own thoughts, that the one thing in this world that I wanted to do, really the only thing I wanted to do, was to become a mother.
Period.

As a child I was the little girl with a bazillion babies around the house, all fed & bathed & clean & warm & snug in their little toy cribs waiting to be hugged & loved & cared for, by one very over enthusiastic kid (that would be me...) who never looked at them as 'dolls'... we didn't use the 'D' word in my house, no sir.
They were my babies, and they were real.
I mean, c'mon... have you all NOT seen the GINORMOUS doll case I have with far too many CPK's in it? (yes, they're all mine and I should definitely start a support group soon, but I digress...)


In grade school, I believe it was 2Nd grade, my mother made an impromptu visit to my 'open classroom' (1st & 2Nd grades combined in one big open room) only to find me off in a corner quietly resolving a conflict between Barbie & Ken over who was to get custody of one tattered old pound puppy.

It's many years since 2Nd grade (and for the record, c'mon, you know Ken didn't stand a chance, everyone knows judges always grant custody to the mother...) and although I guess I've grown in years, honestly, in my heart I'm still that girl who wants to care for everyone & everything...
...animals, friends, family, bugs, etc... if it moved & was alive, I was going to make sure it stayed safe. ( I still catch spiders & let them free outside, no killing for this Momma)

But of all the above, my biggest dream was to one day care for my own CHILDREN.


I started babysitting at age 13 & loved kids so much I quickly became the babysitter that every family in my neighborhood would fight over for Saturday nights...

When I was older & in high school & friends would be anxiously talking about what they wanted to do come college time, what career paths they'd chosen to pursue, I'd just smile & listen & then it was inevitable that they'd eventually come around to asking, "so Amy, what do you want to do?"

My answer was always the same;
"I want to be a wife & mother..."

Well, I just thought (as I'm sure most girls in high school did) that I'd definitely be married by the time I was 30 & have at least one child or have one on the way...

...boy was I wrong.

By the time I hit my 30's & realized that Mr.Right, much to my dismay, wasn't going to come barrelassing down my street to break down my front door & whisk me away...
I knew it was time to take matters into my own hands.

So-
I believe it was December of 2003 that I first thought to myself,
"Amy, it's time you became a mother...
...get off your ass & make it happen."

So, I did.

Now don't think for a second that during this whole process I didn't have several very close male friends who were more than happy to offer a 'fast swimmer or two' for the cause,
because I do, and they did.
I politely refused.
There were just far too many kids in this world already without parents, why, if I'm not happily married & in love, would I bring another life into this world when clearly, there were hundreds upon thousands who already were here & needed a family just as much as I needed a child?
Just didn't make sense...

I originally researched MARE, the Massachusetts Adoption Resource Exchange, for information on children legally free for adoption & what the process entailed.
I knew with my years of experience being a Nanny that I was great with kids of all ages & figured, why not give an older child, the ones who constantly get overlooked, a chance at a better life- while in turn giving myself the chance to become a parent.
It made perfect sense to me...

...so I made the call & they sent out some information to me.
By the time it arrived, it was a Saturday & I gave myself the weekend to educate myself on the process & get a good look at all the amazingly beautiful children there were without families, without homes.
Broke my heart & I wanted to adopt them all.
(My mom wouldn't let me have a bunny growing up, I was pretty sure she wasn't going to let me adopt them ALL... LOL)

So, I'm looking through their photo listing & there she was;
Maria.
She was a mixed race beautiful little 12 year old girl who loved allot of the same things I did growing up. She loved her babies, she loved arts & crafts, she loved to read & sing (she knew she wasn't a good singer but did it anyway because she said it made her happy- My kinda girl!), she loved to eat & cook, she loved to play in the snow, the list goes on & on...
This little girl just seemed perfect for my family and as my grandmother's name was Maria, the thought of having another Maria S. in the family, well... it just made sense.
The decision was made, since it was Sunday & MARE was closed, I'd have to wait till the morning to call. I'd call first thing & get the ball rolling.
I put the paperwork down & curled up in my bed happy in the knowledge that I was really going to do this, I was not only going to fulfill my lifelong dream of becoming a mother, but I was going to help make this little girls life do a 180 in hopefully a better direction.

I shut out the light & went to sleep.

That night, I had a dream...
...the type of dream where it's so real & so vivid, you wake up with chills and know that your life just isn't going to be the same.

I dreamt I was walking through the mall & I was holding onto this little chubby hand and upon glancing down, I noticed I was holding onto the hand of the most beautiful little chubby cheeked Asian girl with the most spectacular head of black hair I'd ever seen!
She had gorgeous nearly black almond shaped eyes and a sweet high pitched voice that made my insides giggle.
I looked down at her, she looked up at me, smiled & in one breath, she said "Momma!"

I woke up with a jolt...

Oh My God!
MY DAUGHTER'S IN CHINA!

I knew, I just knew...

I barely had time to wipe the sleep from my eyes before picking up the phone to call MARE.
"Hello? Yes, I'm calling about Maria, yes I'd like to speak to someone, I'm sorry what's that? She is no longer available for adoption? How come? She was adopted just last week by another family? Oh, ok... no, yes, I understand, it's ok. No really... Ok, yes, thank you, thank you very much..." *click*
~Silence~
Oh My God, my daughter's in China!

I called my mother that morning & without mentioning to her my dream,
I merely asked her the following:

"Mom, would it bother you if someday you looked at your grandchildren & they didn't look like our family?
Her: "Amy, are you pregnant?"
Me: "NO, Mom! C'mon, I'm serious... would it bother you if someday, you looked at your grandchild & you couldn't say " wow Amy, she's got your eyes or your brother's nose or your father's chin or my smile, etc..."
Her: "Well that's just a silly question, NO why would that bother me & why are you asking me? Are you SURE you're not PREGNANT?@!?"
Me: *sigh* Yes Mom I'm SURE I'm NOT PREGNANT!
Oy Vey!
Her: "Well then why are you asking me this?"
Me:"Because, I'm pretty sure I'm going to adopt a little girl from China."
Her: *tears welling up in her eyes* "Are you serious? Oh Amy, I've always said if I were younger I'd want to adopt a beautiful little Chinese baby!"

That day I researched agencies, found mine
and got their last singles slot for 2004.
I started paper chasing in April of 04, was supposed to be DTC by no later than Dec 1st of 04 but ended up being pushed back & wasn't finally DTC until Jan 14Th.
With a LID of Jan 31st... I was told 6-8 months.
(honestly with the wait everyone is experiencing now, I swear I think that's just the standard response they give everyone because as I'm hearing from nearly every waiting family now, they all were told 6-8 months... go figure.)

I finally received Ruby's referral on Sept 7Th, 2005.
Ruby's 1st birthday, and the first day of the rest of my life...

Here it was my daughter's birthday and she's giving me the most incredible gift imaginable...

...the gift of motherhood.
God is good & I am blessed beyond words.


And well- the rest, as they say... is history.



(And what a beautiful history it turned out to be...)

I'd like to thank not only Johnny for starting such a wonderful thread,
but also a special thanks goes out to Sandra for tagging me.
It's funny, no matter how many times I tell that story, it always does two things;

1. gives me goosebumps
&
2. makes me smile.

I love you Ruby Cate,
To China & back!!!

Now I can only assume it goes without saying that it's now my turn to tag someone but in all fairness I think I'd like some time to think about who that 'someone' might be... so stay tuned.
I promise to pick someone by days end, tomorrow. (Sunday)
G'night & sweet dreams!
*smile*